Tournament
Thor ends up in a place where trash is constantly falling from the sky - he actually has to avoid getting hit with a large rock before seeing a ship land and what looks like a squadron of strange beings in masks come out of it. They ask if he's food or fighter - then decide he's food after he says he fights. He throws one of them all the way out into the water, and smashes several more into the ground, but then gets hit with an electric net the incapacitates them.
He really wishes Bloom were here right now, she'd have them all running for cover in an instant. A new ship lands, and a woman carrying a glass bottle and drinking heavily from it comes out saying "Wait, he's mine." She then falls sideways into the garbage like Thor's seen Bloom do on occasion from being too drained of power or the Bifrost affecting her - except Thor's pretty sure this girl is completely drunk.
He and Jane broke up a few weeks before, between the fact that he could never be around and the way that he kept getting into life-and-death situations, it was all a little much for the relationship - but it's not like he's looking for some new woman or anything. This woman, who he still doesn't know the name of, gets out of the garbage and says "Wait. He's mine. If you want him, then you have to go through me."
"We already have him though."
"Fine, then I'll just go through you." She reminds Thor of Bloom right then, the way she can say something like that so simply - and she claps her hands together twice and the ship behind her vaporizes all the people who were beating Thor with various objects.
She then stuns him, and he wakes up on her ship to see a massive city flying under them - she electrocutes him again when she sees he's awake.
This time, he wakes up restrained in a chair and has to watch some gaggable video about this place he's in, apparently called Sakaara. He's now the property of some guy called the Grandmaster, who's in charge of the Tournament of Champions.
He meets the Grandmaster, and sees the woman who electrocuted him twice and brought him here - and she sells him for ten million units, which must be the form of money here. Thor's made into an extremely unwilling participant of the tournament, but he has to get out of here and find Bloom and Loki and stop Hela!
He has no idea where they are though, and doesn't see either of them all the way up until he's thrown in a kind of waiting room to fight the Grandmaster's Champion. Nobody beats the Champion though, everyone who tries ends up dead in a minute at most.
When Thor's picking out a weapon to use to fight, he spots the woman who brought him here in the first place and hears she's an Asgardian. He gets her attention, and she threatens to electrocute him again - he holds up his hands and says "I just want to talk." She puts the device down, and takes a drink from her bottle.
"Asgard is in danger." She doesn't respond to that, but Thor notices a symbol on her arm: she's a Valkyrie!
"My god, you're a Valkyrie!" That gets a reaction from her, she puts her drink down and pays.
"I used to want to be a Valkyrie when I was younger, then I realized it was women only. My sister never wanted to be one, but she could probably become one easily now. Wait, where are you going?"
She's got a large pack of drinks in her hand, and Thor yells "Are you a coward or a traitor? Because Valkyries are sworn to protect the throne."
She stalks up to Thor and says "Listen up, your majesty, this isn't Asgard - this is Sakaara. Nobody ever leaves Sakaara - so you're going to die anyway." She smiles and leaves with her drinks, and Thor then gets electrocuted again and dragged into a room for 'processing' - whatever that means.
Some guy with a mechanical hand says "Hold still now, my hands aren't as steady as they used to be."
"By Odin's beard, if you cut my hair, you will feel the wrath of Thor!" The man takes no notice, or apparently thinks Thor's wrath isn't all that terrifying at the moment.
Twenty minutes later, Thor walks out into the arena with a pixie-cut and red stripes of war paint on one side of his face. Everybody starts booing him, he doesn't really care - all he wants is to kick this Champion's butt and get the heck out of here so he can find his good sister, his brother, and get back to Asgard so they can save it from total destruction.
The Champion turns out to be the Hulk though, and everyone stops cheering when Thor yells in triumph - until Hulk yells that there's only him. Before they can even get a hit on each other though, everyone hears a very loud banging and several explosions coming from one of the walls.
Bam! Bam! BamBamBam! BA-BAM!
One of the guards goes flying through the solid metal walls, and Thor sees the two people he was most hoping for: Bloom and Loki.
Hulk charges at Bloom and Loki, roaring ferociously at them - Bloom stops him in his tracks with a roar of her own, shocking the entire stadium silent. Loki is failing to hide a grin, and Thor yells "Yes! Yes, this is great! Bloom, look who it is!"
A guard runs up behind Boom and Loki, Loki takes a step to the side and Bloom's fist swings up to smash into the guard's face. The entire crowd winces and says "Ooh" collectively, as the guard's feet keep moving and he hits the floor on his stomach. "Thor! We've been looking for you everywhere in this crazy place! Spent the rest of yesterday trying to find Loki after I woke up, then we've spent all of today looking through this weird place. What happened to you, and…what did they do to your hair?"
Thor says "I know, and now I found our old friend, Bruce!" Hulk growls and tries to hit them, but Bloom catches his fist and holds it back with one hand. The crowd falls entirely silent at that, and Thor says "And this is why you'd make an excellent Valkyrie."
"Yeah, right. I wish, I don't have time anymore, not since going to Magix. Bruce! Snap out of it already!"
When that doesn't work, she slams his fist into the ground and casts a sleep spell on him - then, when he turns back into a human, she breaks it and he sits up groaning. "Oh, what happened?"
"We're getting out of here, Bruce. Here, clothes for you."
Bruce thanks her, then sees her for the first time and nearly has a heart attack when he sees Loki standing behind her. "What is Loki…"
Thor says "Long story short, Bloom changed him back to who he used to be, then we recently fought the sister we never knew we had and lost. She's currently on Asgard, doing who-knows-what there - and we're stuck here in I-don't-know-where, someplace called Sakaara, and you were the Champion of a Tournament."
Bloom says "Ok, story-time is over, we can catch up in more detail after we get the heck out of this place. Where's the door?"
Loki points to one of the openings in the walls and says "I think it's the one that's currently being blocked by guards."
"Ok, not for long. Oh, wait. Thor, come here for a minute." When he does, she takes one look at his neck and rips the metal device that the guards use to electrocute him off.
"Ouch!" He claps both hands to his neck and winces, trying to ease the severely stinging pain.
"Sorry, but I doubt that things is used for anything good."
"Right, it electrocutes you."
"Hm, lucky guess on my part then. Hope you guys know how to keep your balance."
Banner asks "Can't we go back the way you came?"
Loki says "Not exactly, this place is a maze. We took so many turns we ended up going in circles. Then Bloom heard you through the wall."
Bloom starts glowing orange, and suddenly lifts her hand up fast - the platform they're on suddenly raises in a jarring motion. They all walk up to the guards, and Bloom whips out her knife and kills four of them in a second.
Loki says "She could be a Valkyrie if she wanted."
"There's one here, brother. She's drinking something, somewhere."
Suddenly, one of the guards hits Bloom with the same device she ripped off Thor's neck earlier; she goes rigid for a moment as it works, feeling electricity coursing through her - then she collapses to the floor. Thor gets angry, and then lightning starts sparking off him - he hits the guards with it and they go flying into the wall, while Loki picks up Bloom. "I'm…alright…"
Loki says "Yeah right, I'm not buying that, sister."
Thor takes the device off her neck - which isn't at all easy to do - as she says "Been hit with worse by Stormy…I'm guessing that was your payback for me doing it to you?"
"No, sorry, Sister."
Loki tries to see if she can stand, but her legs are currently like cooked noodles - thanks to the electrocution that leaves any victim physically limp and needing to be moved. "I can walk…"
Thor says "Bloom, the amount of electricity in those things leaves even a Kronan limp and draggable."
Banner says "The devices are aimed directly on top of a nerve, making it so that the electricity overwhelms the nervous system at every shock - incapacitating the victim instantly."
"So I noticed…"
Loki says "Yeah, bet most people would've been knocked out though."
Banner asks "Thor, did I take a blow to the head too many - or is Loki different? Because he seems really different from in the Helicarrier."
Bloom says "That was me. Magic, and all. Let's just say, I wanted my brother back."
Thor hits another guard with a burst of lightning, wondering but very happy about the turn of events with his powers. Loki asks "Since when have you been able to do that?"
"Since I got angry at that guard."
Bloom chuckles, wincing at the feeling in her throat, and says "Since always. Mjolnir was a conduit, you channeled the lightning through it before - it helped you control your powers. Now, it's all you. Don't know about flying though." Bloom pulls at one of Loki's hands, and this time she can stand on her own.
When they round the corner, they find Valkyrie walking around the corner and staring at them in shock. Bloom asks "Brother, is this the woman you told me about? The Valkyrie who brought you here?"
Thor smirks and says "Yes. Valkyrie, this is the sister I told you about, the one that could join the ranks of the Valkyries easily."
She turns and tries to run, Bloom tackles her and pins her to the ground. "So, you're the one who brought my brother here? And you're Asgardian - and an elite fighter to boot; perfect! The sister we never knew we had is back, Hela, Goddess of Death. Father's dead, she's back, we're going to stop her - and Thor says you have a ship that can get us out of here."
Valkyrie gets one hand out from under Bloom's bony knee, only for Bloom to grab it in a grip of iron. "Since when are you a child of Odin?"
"Since I was adopted at age one. I might be able to stop Hela, but we need to get back home to do that. You know the way out of here, you have a ship that can get us out - so, you're going to get us out of here."
Valkyrie twists her head to try and look at Bloom, but the closest she can manage is Thor and Loki. "Is she serious?"
Thor says "Absolutely."
"About beating Hela? Because I'm not getting dragged back into an endless war!"
Loki asks "What? Yes, Bloom's serious about stopping Hela - but go back to the part about the endless war."
"That's where Hela gets her strength from, Asgard's endless wars. When she tried to escape her banishment, Odin sent us Valkyries to stop him - I only survived because…" She trails off, then says "I survived one endless war, but it cost me everything."
Bloom says "Well, lucky for you, this is only going to be one fight. We get back to Asgard, we kill Hela, all's done."
"I'm with a bunch of lunatics…and you, Bloom, are the craziest if you think it'll be that easy to beat the Goddess of Death."
Bloom actually bursts out laughing at that, and says "I'm no pushover either. I might've just found a sparring partner that won't be beaten so easily. Let's go people!" She hoists Valkyrie up, and then they are off again - Valkyrie very reluctant about this whole situation, and being marched forward by Bloom with her arm twisted behind her back. Thor and Loki share a grin at the fact that Bloom can beat a Valkyrie so easily.
AN: Yeah, I'm betting getting drunk all the time doesn't really help with coordination or anything. Bloom probably could join the Valkyries with no problem, except she really doesn't have the time anymore - adventures, saving the Magical Dimension and the Nine Realms, etc. And if anyone gets confused when Thor and Loki still refer to Bloom as 'our sister' -they've been doing it for nearly two decades, and have barely known about Hela for a day. By the way, he ended up fighting the Hulk the day after they met Hela - getting electrocuted and losing consciousness tends to mess with your perception of time just a lot. And why in all the other movies they never hinted about Thor's lightning powers coming from him and not Mjolnir is beyond me, that would have been some fabulous hints to have before this movie - making a toaster explode or something, for instance. Anyway, more updates coming soon, enjoy! P.S. thinking about doing a spin-off of this story at some point, a collection of anything that happened but didn't get mentioned all the way to other ways I could have gone with the story for some things. Suggestions appreciated, please review if you have feedback!