AN: Thank you for reading.

Chapter 6

I woke up with dark clouds clouding my thoughts.

Some days, you just know that there's going to be rottenness happening in your day. It just weighs on your chest and it feels like the sadness is just sitting on top of you. You're frozen and can't move under the pressure. Its best to just stay in bed.

Of course, I didn't.

By the time I got to school, I was actually kind of happy to be there. The mood at breakfast table was a mix of fake positive affirmations that today would be terrific from my mother and uncomfortable silence from my usually chipper dad. Bree watched their strained interaction like one would observe a tennis match. Her head whipped back and forth in attempt to try to figure out what in the world was actually happening.

In contrast, I would only look up from my bowl of soggy Cheerios to answer questions about what the cafeteria was having for lunch and if I had any book reports due soon.

The bright yellow school bus was a welcomed sight. I only felt a little guilty for leaving my sister in that toxic kitchen with my parents and their barely concealed glares. At least she only had a short wait until the elementary school bus came to rescue her. It was every girl for herself in this situation.

As the day went on, I thought my escape into teachers' lectures would distract me from sad thoughts of probable divorce and my mom kissing vile Phil, but instead I just wallowed and became more depressed. Mr. Hansen talking about the Revolutionary War made me want to weep.

Edward was MIA. I wondered if he was sick or just hanging out. Tanya was missing too. My mind was a flurry of imagining the worst scenarios of them making out in some car.

"—the soldiers went through the cold landscape and perished from many varied afflictions. We all can imagine the pain of losing limbs from frostbite and slowly dying from hypothermia. But can you imagine that with the limited amount of time to truly hunt for food in a snowy forest, the hunger you experience because you are too busy trying to be alert for upcoming battles with the British soldiers?" Mr. Hansen was obsessed with the death of our forefathers. It was a little disturbing.

Mike had his face down and let out a snore. I wish I could be asleep for this thing too.

Mr. Hansen looked excited as he lifted a piece of furry pelt from his desk. "This is a piece of rabbit that, if the colonials would be lucky enough to catch one, could save them from the delusions from hunger that could destroy a man in winter."

I raised my hand.

"Miss Swan? You want to touch my pelt?"

Oh my God. No.

"I need to go to the bathroom," I explained. I wanted to keep Mr. Hansen's dead rabbit away from me.

"Oh fine," he said, distracted by stroking the fur he was holding. "Grab the pass on your way out. Mr. Biers, take this fur and imagine yourself knee deep in snow—"

My exit from the classroom was quick. I headed down the hall and passed the bathroom that I should have entered. There was no reason for me not to go in, but I just needed to move and think of anything but the wars from the past and the war going on in my own home.

"Want to kiss my fist, faggot?" I heard Tyler's voice in the stairway that headed down to the boiler room. His words were followed by the laughter from several of his football playing buddies.

I stopped moving and gasped as I heard Jacob's pleading. "Come on, Tyler, let me go. I need to get back to class."

"You need to stop going in the girls' bathroom, fag," Eric Yorkie said nastily. "Lauren told us to take care of it."

I needed to get my feet moving. Get someone to help my friend from being hurt. I couldn't move my feet. I was scared.

"Nah man, Jacob here rather get horizontal with one of us. You want a pair of boobs like a girl, Black?" I heard Tyler hiss this.

Finally, I forced myself to look around the corner to see Tyler in his letterman jacket pressing Jacob to the wall by his neck. Eric and Brady Andrews were watching with smirks on their faces and their hands clenched tightly. They were feeding off of Tyler's violence.

"Nope. I'm sure you do though," Jacob said bravely. "I've seen the way you boys squeeze each other's butts. It's positively sensual."

The last part came out as a breathless whisper, because Tyler was squeezing his neck.

"Stop it, Tyler! Get off him!" I yelled and tripped my way down the stairs. My voice was shaky and I was trying not to hunch over in fear.

"Be weird somewhere else, Swan." Tyler kept staring at Jacob, but he had loosened his grip.

I felt braver and stronger for my friend. "I said get off of him."

My hand went to Tyler's arm to get him to let go of Jacob and instead I was elbowed in the chest. I fell into Brady who held both of my arms tightly. I looked at Jacob who had begun to cry.

"You're going to get in big trouble, Tyler!" I said.

"It was an accident, girl." Brady and Eric laughed, as Tyler stated confidently, "I'm quarterback. He's a queer. You're a freak. Who do you think Principal Colburn will listen to?"

"I don't know why you keep hanging out with gays," Eric said with an eye-roll. "You used to be cool."

He used to be a nice guy. Eric was always helping everybody else when we were in middle school. If I had been home sick from school, Eric was the one who would drop off my homework and a piece of chocolate to make me feel better. That was the problem with high school. You start off knowing who you are, but you're so desperate to fit in that you'll become somebody else just to fit in. Even if it's somebody horrible. Am I that different from Eric? I really don't think so.

"Because Jacob is my friend and I'll be happy for whoever he chooses to be with." I tried to sound tough, but I was shaking like a leaf and my voice was thick with fear. Jacob's tears were catching and I could feel them filling my eyes.

"Stupid choice in friends, girl," Brady stated as he squeezed my arms harder. I let out a pained cry.

The sound of footsteps thundered down the stairs.

"What are hell are you doing?" Mike was so angry and, right behind him, Jessica was looking at us all in shock. "You need to stop this now, Tyler."

"We were just joking around," Tyler stated. He let Jacob go and ruffled his hair. "All good."

"Brady, let Bell go," Jessica demanded. I don't know why, but I collapsed into Jessica's arms. I started crying harder. I was terrified. She asked Brady, "What did you do to her?"

Brady looked annoyed. He always looked annoyed unless he was making fun of someone. The only joy that guy got was from terrorizing others. It was no surprise that he was best friends with Tyler. Two peas in a rotting pod.

"She's just a cry baby. I accidentally pushed her," Tyler spoke up. "There's no problem here. Is there, Jakey?"

Wiping his eyes with his sleeve, Jake answered, "Its fine."

Mike went to stand in-between Jacob and Tyler. "I think we should all head to the principal's office. Doing this shit isn't cool."

"Mike, you gay too? Make sure you don't shower the same time I do after practice." Tyler laughed and punched Mike in the shoulder. I saw Mike wince. It wasn't a good-natured show of camaraderie, but a subtle threat. "We're all buddies here. No harm, no foul. Jess, I'll pick you up at seven."

"Don't bother," she hissed. She pulled a tissue from her pocket and started wiping my face with it. "I won't be going with you."

Tyler didn't look like he cared at all. "Cool. Emily was my back-up anyway. Let's go, guys."

We watched them leave in silence.

"Thanks, Mike. It would have been really bad if you didn't come." I went over to squeeze his hand.

"Mr. Hansen wanted me to check on you. I ran into Jess and we heard your voices." Mike turned to Jacob. "I'm really sorry they were bothering you, man. I really think we need to tell somebody."

"No way. It will only get worse if I say something." Jake was resolute in his decision. "Why are you being nice anyway? Those guys are your boys."

Mike shook his head. "I've been reconsidering who I should be hanging out with. What they do isn't okay. I have to think about college and I need to stay away from jerks."

"Don't worry about me, Mike," Jacob stated. He kissed me on the forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow, brave girl."

I wasn't brave. I'm just a messed up kid.

Jess took my hand. "I was on my way to the nurse's office. It's the end of the day. How about I take you and Jacob home?"

"I'll tell Hansen that you weren't feeling well. I'll grab your stuff and bring it to Jess's car," Mike offered.

"Jess—"

"Please. I have a lot to make up for. I miss my friend."

How can someone say no to that?

XXXXXX

Jacob's beautiful hair was gone. It no longer flowed down his back in gentle waves. Instead it was one of those generic cuts that all the sporty guys wore at school. The suit he wore was black and a tad too big. The tie was a striped maroon. It was a costume to make him appear ordinary.

He would never be ordinary. That boy was too full of so many brilliant colors that just needed to flow out. To stifle them was awful.

When he stood at the door after his mom dropped him off, it was like looking at a stranger.

"Jake—" I began softly. There was so many words I wanted to say to him.

Let's tell the truth about what Tyler and his friends did.

Be your amazing self.

I miss your true smile.

The smile on his face was tight as he pinned the corsage of tiny roses to my dress. "You look really great, Bells."

Flashes from my dad's camera documented a false moment. This wasn't a cute first date between a boy and a girl. It was a boy pretending to be someone who he's not and a girl unable to make things better for him.

"You both look so lovely!" My mom was grinning wildly. "You match!"

My dress was the same color as his tie. She probably had it in her head that we were a matched set. A perfect distraction from my snaps of anger and my moody disposition that Mom was trying to ignore.

She had given me her best diamond studs and allowed me to wear make-up. Guilt had made her desperate. I should have thrown her desperation back into her face, but what can I say, I'm a kid. I was going to take everything she was trying to bribe me with and let my anger continue quietly.

"I thought Alice was coming too?" We had the plan all set when I saw her this morning.

Jacob shrugged. "Pete said he would drive her."

He set this up to look like a date. Oh Jake.

"You kids ready to go?" My dad asked holding out his keys. "You'll be riding in style in the mini van. All the kids will want to have a turn in this sweet ride."

There wasn't much to say, but follow my dad and his corny jokes out to the van. I ignored my mother's waves.

As we buckled up, I whispered, "What is going on with you?"

"For just one night, I want to be like everybody else." He looked out the window as we pulled out of the driveway. "Just one night."

XXXXXX

Twinkling Christmas lights, streamers, and balloons covering the floor couldn't hide that we were just standing in a darkened gymnasium. The smell of sweat still filled the room from this afternoon's basketball practice. It was not a magical, autumnal night though there was a banner saying as much that was hanging up on the wall.

Alice was running up to us as soon as we entered. "What the hell did you do, Black?"

"I'm playing a game. I'm pretending to be somebody else," he proclaimed.

"Pretending to be a douche bag like Tyler? No way, buckaroo," Alice stated and poked him in the stomach. "Isabella let me in on what happened."

"Isabella has a big mouth."

I ignored his dirty look. "I do. Alice agrees that we should tell somebody about what Tyler did."

"You should have done it yesterday," Alice said. "Our Principal is an idiot. He can only deal with the present. The past and future confuses the man."

"Hi guys!" Our stand-off was interrupted by the cheerful Jessica in her ensemble that was an ode to bubblegum pink. "Thanks for letting me hang out with you guys!"

Alice shot me a look and I heard her mutter, "The eighties want their pink back, Molly Ringwald."

I nudged her in the ribs. "Hey, Jess. You look great."

She did, because she looked happier than I had seen her be in a long time. Tyler sucked the real Jessica out and left a mean shell. This girl who was with us now was the real deal.

"Doesn't it look beautiful in here?" Jess was on the decorating committee and the rest of us smiled to make her feel good. Alice's looked more like a demented sneer, but Jess didn't notice.

"Oh my God! They're playing Shaggy! I need to dance! Let's go, guys!" Jess could squeal about dance music like no one else.

Alice and I looked at Jess like she was crazy.

Jacob gave her hopeful look. "I could dance with you. I mean I know that Ty—"

She hugged him. That was her answer to his nervousness after her seeing him be tormented. "Yes! I think you will be an amazing dance partner."

Taking his hand, Jess pulled him to the dance floor. She didn't even glance at Tyler standing by the refreshment table with his new date hanging off of him.

I, on the other hand, found myself watching for Edward. A glance every couple of minutes to make me positive he wouldn't appear.

"I need to find Pete!" Alice exclaimed. She started searching her purse. "I forgot something in his car! I'll be right back!"

So I waited after she dashed off. Alice didn't come back.

And waited some more, as I felt like a loser by myself. I could hang out with Jacob and Jess, but than I would look like a loser because I couldn't dance. There was no way to win in this situation.

I wandered for a bit as I tried not to be bored. That's when I saw him by the entrance to the gym when I was next to the bleachers. Edward, in the warm coat he wore as his armor, looked right at me with his big eyes.

There was no smile. There was no recognition. It was like he saw right through me. I was a ghost of a girl and completely invisible. I watched sadly as he turned and walked right back out.

There was only one thing a person could do in a situation like this. I sat down in a huff. My status as a wallflower was full in effect.

"What's your problem?" Jasper sat next to me. He wore a plaid shirt and the tie that he wore with it was his dad's. I had seen Mr. Whitlock wear it before as he was ringing out customers at his hardware store. It looked like a dad tie. Fitting, because Jasper acted like a dad with no children.

"Nothing."

Jasper was silent for a moment. "Your date left you for Jessica Stanley."

If Jacob was actually my date, I would think that Jasper was a creep for pointing this out. Actually, I though he was a creep anyway.

"We all came as friends," I answered as I picked off the nail polish that I had proudly put on earlier today. It had no more use to me.

"Oh." Jasper looked at his shoes. "I have a date."

"Really?" She must be invisible, because no sane girl would go to anything with Jasper.

He pointed to a girl talking to Jess and Jacob. "Maria."

Maria was the new girl in school. She had dark skin and ebony hair with a laugh that sounded like wind chimes. I heard Brady making snide comments about her weight, but I thought she was beautiful and exotic. I would do anything to have a chest like hers and not one like thirteen year-old boy.

"I don't like to dance and she does. I don't know . . . Well . . . If I like her or anything," he continued.

"Okay." I wasn't sure why he was telling me this. Maybe odd conversations were normal for dances.

Where was Alice? I needed to be saved.

"You look pretty . . . Umm . . . Tonight." Jasper was staring at me and playing with the bottom of his tie. He was rolling it up and letting it unwind, over and over again.

"You have a date," I pointed out. "You should be saying that to her."

"Don't be mean to me. I was being nice, Bella," he scoffed. "It isn't my fault that Edward Cullen made a brief appearance and left."

"Edward Cullen wasn't a part of any discussion, Jasper!" I gripped the metal edge of the bleachers. "He's so not a part of anything at this moment. Why can't you ever just be like a real person?"

"You're too good for him. You know that, right? You like have this thing sometimes. Like you do the stupidest things and it's still special."

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" He made zero sense.

Jasper placed his hand on mine. "Yes."

I pulled my hand away and saw Maria looking at us. Her face was so sad. I got up and hissed, "I'm out of here."

I made a beeline to my coat. Hanging out in the cold to wait for my dad to pick me up sounded like a terrific plan. It was better than this stuffy gymnasium with fake people and weird boys professing something that was confusing.

The chilly air hit my face as I traveled to the athletic fields. My hands deep into my coat pockets and it felt like all the best and worst parts of autumn all bundled up together.

"Shouldn't you be dancing or something?" Edward sat on the football bleachers with a cigarette in his mouth. Slowly he stood and he wandered over. The lit end of his cigarette slowly turning to ash.

"That's a stinky habit," I pointed out.

He opened those perfect lips slowly and it fell to the ground. His boot crushed it with a series of twists of his ankle. Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out a tin case of Altoids. "Want one?"

"Yeah." I placed one of the offered mints into my mouth, as I watched him do the same. It made my tongue feel deliciously numb,

Edward blew in my face. It was a slow, minty burst of air that made me shiver. "That better?"

"Yeah." My language skills were not working anymore.

His hands went to my waist. His face close to mine. "Dance with me?"

"There's no music."

Edward began to hum an unfamiliar tune and we swayed in the middle of a field under the bright lights.

It was mere minutes when the humming stopped and he whispered, "I'm going to kiss you now."

I just closed my eyes as his mouth touched mine.

We continued to sway as out lips made up the song.

The sounds of voices interrupted the beauty of the moment.

"Looks like the party's over," I said quietly.

"Need a ride?"

I frowned. "My dad should be here."

His fingers stroked my mouth one final time and he kissed my nose. "I'll see you around."

Edward was a lone figure now walking back to the front of the school. His new cigarette filling puffs of smoke into the atmosphere. Always a mystery that I doubted I would ever solve.