I do not own Eric or Pam, and I wrote this tired and getting sick. And officially sick. So bear with any of the drivel and try to enjoy. Thanks for the attention you have given it!

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Carli brushed out her hair and dried it, straightening it slowly as she sat on her small bathroom counter. She clipped a piece up with a rhinestone barrette and then stared at the vast array of make up she had in her drawer. That was the perk of being known. Everyone she even mentioned on the internet sent her stuff, and she appreciated every last bit of it. She brushed on her mineral make up and then worked on her eyes. She used a light shimmering shadow on her brow, and a liquid black liner on her lid. She added a deep gray in the crease and lined the lower lid with a deep brown, finishing with mascara. Carli brushed her cheeks lightly with a deep blush and her lips with a shiny clear gloss. She ran a hand through her hair and went to her closet to stare at it for a moment. Carli didn't want to appear like she was ready to jump right back into bed with Eric, though her body would argue that point all night long. She pulled out a black dress that had a scoop neck that was alluring but not too low with a clingy waist and a skirt that swung out with every step and hung just below her lower thighs. Carli pulled it on over thigh high stockings, and slid her feet into high heels. She sprayed her favorite perfume on, remembering Eric nuzzling her neck and inhaling it often. She smiled at the memory, and closed her eyes slowly as she hoped for the strength she would need that night. She walked through the apartment to make sure it looked presentable, and sipped a glass of wine as she stood out on her balcony to watch the city come to life. She heard the knock and turned to go in and get it, and she sipped her wine again as she opened the door.

"Look at you." Eric said, his eyes deepening as he took her in. They lingered on her mouth as she finished her sip, and she stared at him. He was in black slacks and a white button up that fit him perfectly, and she felt her eyes raking over him. The fact that she knew what was under all of that now was a bad thing, and she blinked as she focused on his face. "You look gorgeous and smell amazing."

"Thank you. You look very good as well." carli told him, and he smiled at her with a knowing look. "Want a tour of my new home?"

"Later. We have a dinner reservation and I wsuld not want to be late." ERic said, and she smiled at him. She grabbed her purse and locked her door, and she felt his hand on her lower back as she glanced at him. He leaned in closer to smell her, and she shuddered as his breath warmed her neck as he slid her hair back. "I have missed this scent."

Carli was quiet on the way to his car, and she slid into it as he opened the door for her. She saw him get in his side and she bit her lip. "I don't know how to act with you. We have this past and I am all too aware of it."

"I can tell that you are nervous. Don't be. I am taking you out tonight to talk and just be with you, and I am not expecting an immediate regression to what we had before." Eric assured her, and she met his blue eyes. "I can feel your attraction and mine is the same, but I want you to be comfortable."

"Really?" Carli asked, and he nodded. They went to the restaurant and he gave his keys to the valet, and she watched as his red Corvette drove out of sight. He opened the door and let her walk in before him, and she slid her hand into his as they went up to the host. He glanced down at her, and she smiled as he stroked her small palm with his long thumb. They were seated and she noticed the glances from some of the people sitting at the tables. They were seated with a few other people around the grill and she greeted the fans that were there with a warm smile and a hello. Orders were taken and she looked up at Eric as she felt his gaze on her. "What?"

"You're so gracious to all of them." Eris spoke into her ear, and she felt him slide his arm around her shoulder.

"They make me what I am." Carli told him, and her eyes rested on his eyes. "Does it bother you that I get recognized?"

"Not at all." Eric replied, and the chef came out to their grill. They all watched the preparation and Carli clapped when he was done, and he winked at her. "Another one?" Eric whispered to her, and she giggled as he gave her a thumbs up. They talked casually during dinner and she took some pictures with fans as she finished, and she sipped another glass of wine as the dinner wrapped up. She was full of good food and had relaxed some, feeling the comfort that she remembered from Eric. They walked out to his car together, holding hands, and he looked down at her. "What now, my lovely lady?" Eric asked her, and she moved close to him as she smiled.

"This." Carli said, sliding her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a slow kiss. It was chaste in appearance, but she felt the jolt shoot through her and she also felt his hands grip her hips tightly. "I can do this now, freely and as I want."

"Do it anytime." Eric urged her, and she felt him brush her lips with his gently again. His car was pulled around and he opened her door for her, and looked at her once he was in his side. "What would you like to do?"

"Let's go to that theatre." Carli said with a smile, and he nodded. They drove as they talked, and he stroked her leg with his free hand. She felt the familiar tightening and she let out a long breath as she leaned back. Thought entered her brain, and she felt a halt to the good feeling flowing through her. She looked at him, and a glance from her caught her gaze. She opened her mouth to speak and then looked forward again.

"You're thinking about something." Eric said, as he parked the car.

"I…..I was wondering why you wanted to go out with me. I was wondering how I am enough for you, if we even turn into something, and how you can trust me. I was wondering why you want me again." Carli said, and voicing her feeling surprised her. She almost had not realized that all of this worried her. "Is it too soon for this? Am I totally over thinking this?"

"Carli, no. I can see why you would think about this, because it was very intense before with us." Eric said, and she slowly looked at him. "I wanted to go out with you because everything hit me when I saw you, and I knew that it was not over for me. I needed to see you. And about you being enough, you always were. Do you ask that because of that night on the balcony?"

Carli's eyes widened as he said the words, and he leaned towards her to kiss her gently. "I have always felt like you needed more since that." Carli admitted, and he shook his head.

"I should have stopped it when it first began, but I was driven by lust. Lust for only you, but my love for you could not battle that at the moment." Eric assured her, and his fingers stroked her cheek. "I was ready to stop it when it first started, but when I saw you responding and moving against her fingers, I couldn't. I liked watching your face as someone else made you have that orgasm, and I immediately wanted you tight and wet so I could have you. I asked you to do what you did for that reason, and I loved watching the line of your body as you then rode her tongue and came again. I'm sorry that I got caught up in it, and it will never happen again." Eric murmured, and she felt the desire center between her legs as she fought it. "I never wanted to do anything with Pam, and she knew that. I wish that I had known what it would do to you, Carli. I blame myself partly for your walking away from me." The lust was clear in his eyes, along with the pain, and she slid her arms around him and pulled him close. "I hated losing you like that." He kissed her, and she could not and would not keep it chaste that time. She deepened it immediately, and his tongue danced against hers as she moaned. She felt every part of her body respond, and he slid his hand into her hair and gripped it as she made a sound into his mouth.

"I hated losing you as well." Carli told him as their lips parted, and met his eyes. She knew what her feeling were, but she didn't say them and kissed him again instead. They eventually made it into the movies once she had fixed her make up, and they sat in the middle at an end. He slid his arm up to where her neck and her hair met, and she leaned back as she was taken back to the moment at Starbucks so long ago. He stroked her skin gently and she slid her hand over his leg and thigh, longing to know if he was as bothered as she was. She didn't move her hand far enough to find out, but she felt his muscles tense under her fingers. The theatre darkened, and she leaned against him as she moved the arm rest to get closer to him. He kissed her hair and she slid her arm around his torso as he continued to stroke her, and they watched the previews quietly. One or the other would begin another long kiss every now and again, and she would always heat up. She was so comfortable when the movie ended that she didn't want to move, and he stroked her hair gently as he chuckled. The lights came back on and Carli frowned. "I'm so comfortable."

"I hope that means we can enjoy another date together." Eric suggested, and she pulled away slowly to look at him.

"Is this one over?" Carli asked him, and his eyes darkened.

"What are you saying?" Eric asked her, and she smiled silently at him. She wanted him to come over and she wanted him in her bed, giving her back everything that she had once had.

"I am just saying that if it is, I would not mind another." Carli replied, and he stood up and pulled her up by the hand. He pulled her to him to hug her, and she inhaled him as she pressed against his chest and slid her arms around him. "You're a good date. I never really knew that before."

"I am a good person to those I care about." Eric assured her, and she felt his hands in her hair. "I care deeply for you, Carli."

"I know." Carli replied, and they walked outside and to his car. "So you could come over for awhile. I am not asking you to sleep with me, but I don't want to say good night just yet. I just want to talk some more and hang out."

"That sounds fine to me." Eric told her, and they drove to her place. She gave him the tour and she saw the way his eyes lingered on her king sized bed before turning to go to the living room again. She got them some wine and they sat on the table on her balcony and talked. She found herself sliding her leg over his like she used to, and his eyes were warm on her as he smiled. "There is a lot to learn about you, Carli. Tell me about your family." Eric said, as he slid his hands up her leg to where her stocking met bare skin. She stared at him and he pulled one down gently, and she sucked in her breath. It was impossible le wanting him so badly but trying to do the right thing. The slow speed at which he completed his task told her that he was feeling the same way. He lay the stocking over the table and began to massage her calf and foot gently, and she leaned back and watched him.

"The guys are my family now. I was born in Boston and when my parents were killed in a car accident when I was five, I moved to Chicago to live with my grandparents. He died when I was twelve and my grandmother when I was eighteen. I had been friends with everyone there for awhile at that point, and ended up moving in with Ryan's family at first and then just with him when we got together. I guess this is my first place all to myself." Her face showed something, and she frowned. "I haven't been without him for years."

"Why did you break up?" Eric asked, and she became lost in the feeling of his hands on her leg for a moment as she was brought to reality.

"He guessed about you, about us." Carli replied, sipping her wine.

"How?" Eric asked, and she smiled bitterly.

"Both being writers, he read between the lines. I tried to convince him it wasn't true, but I couldn't lie for too long." Carli shook her head. "The surprise was is that not even I was enough for him. I never would have guessed it."

"How do you mean?" Eric asked her, leaning forward and taking her hand that rested on the table.

"He had a one night thing a long time ago, right before his impromptu proposal." Carli said softly, and Eric leaned forward further to kiss her fingers. "I never knew. He was so angry with me for taking his ring after what I did, and he should be. But do I have a right to be angry that he proposed for that reason? That hurts too. I did wrong by still seeing you and sleeping with you, but he lied for a year."

"No wonder you seem ready to think you're not enough for me, or maybe anybody. You are still hurt over that." Eric told her, and she glanced up at him.

"I didn't think of it that way, but maybe so. Great timing for a realization." Carli muttered, and he stood and came to her and knelt down on his knees. His face was still close to hers as he stared at her, and he slid his hands up her legs to her hips as he looked at her. He leaned in to kiss her, and she returned it eagerly as he pressed into her. She felt her legs part to allow him to be closer, but his lips felt too good to care. She found her hands pulling the shirt from his pants to un button it, to feel his skin against her fingertips.

His body tensed under her hands, and she felt him pull away from her to kiss her face and travel down her neck. She was throbbing all over, and she moaned as he kissed and nibbled gently at her skin. "I would always find you enough. I have never felt the way I do with you." Eric murmured, and she slid her hand down the front of him to feel him hard and ready. "Don't tease too much. I have been like this most of the night."

"I'm not teasing." Carli said, as her thoughts blurred together. Her desire was too much to deny and she longed for him to make her feel good. She longed for release of her insecurities. She felt him pull her against him and stand, and they almost fell. She let him regain his balance, sliding down her body to the ground as they both laughed. He picked her up again, bridal style, and she stared at him as they went inside. He took her to her bed, and she sat at the end as he dropped his shirt to the ground. He was perfect and she took in the man that she had missed so much, and he stepped forward.

"I love the way you look at me." Eric told her, and she met his eyes. "You look so hungry for me right now, and I see the feelings you are trying to hide."

"What am I hiding?" Carli asked, and he held out his hands to pull her up. He took the hem of her dress and pulled it up, and she shivered under his gaze. He pushed her gently onto the bed and she fell back against her pillows as he removed the other stocking. He then slid his hands up her legs and to her inner thighs and she moaned as he touched the slick part of them. "Oh, god."

"Some things don't change." Eric observed, and stood to remove his pants. His boxer briefs were next, and she stared at him as he moved onto the bed. "You want me to make love to you? I know that we both intended on waiting, but I don't think I can."

Carli unhooked her bra as she arched her back slightly, and slid it off. "What do you think, Eric?" He rose above her, lowering his face to kiss her lips as she slid her hands up his side slowly. His tongue teased her lips to part, and she easily complied, not disappointed with the aggressive way her searched her open mouth. She slid her hands over his broad chest and pressed against his hard nipple before pinching it. Her own were hard and hurting to be touched, and his lips moved over them. He bit gently and drew one into his mouth and she cried out with the feeling. She slid her hands back down to wrap her hand around him and he bucked forward slightly above her. She felt him move down her body and between her legs, tasting her full desire as she came instantly against his tongue. She was embarrassed and she turned her head to the side and closed her eyes. He sucked her into his mouth as she moaned as he gently used teeth, then released and licked her again. He had always been a fan of oral sex, and she thanked the heavens for that as she felt the pressure build in her again.

"You missed me," Eric told her, as he slid between her parted legs to kiss her. She tasted herself around his lips and she met his tongue eagerly. She felt his against her, slowly moving to enter her, and she moved her hips to invite him. He took it slow, and she slid her widely parted legs around his lower legs to attempt to pull him inside further. "You need to take this slow. Remember our first time before? You are much tighter right now, Carli."

"I don't want to." Carli told him, and he stared at her as he buried himself. She cried out as he filled her and the slight pain set in, and he shook his head at her. "OK, perhaps you were right." He moved slowly and she opened up to him with each movement, and soon she was trying hard to keep from screaming as she writhed under him. She clutched her sheets tightly as she came, and felt one corner snap off as she threw her head back. He followed, unable to contain himself as her body went into spasms around him and she gave herself to the feeling of it. She had missed this moment since the day she had left him, and the time away blurred together as her body responded to him. She felt him move to lay next to her, and she ran her hands up her sweaty stomach as she breathed deeply.

"I searched for months for something to mimic that feeling." Eric said next to her, and she turned her head to look at him. His eyes were steady on her face and she smiled as he stroked her cheek gently.

"You did? Pam said that you were out to forget all about me." Carli said, and knew that her jealousy showed in her eyes.

"I certainly was at first. She had a few interventions with me and finally made me realize I was only being self destructive and hurting people along the way. I realized she was right." Eric spoke casually and looked into her eyes.

"Should we have just done this without a thought to protection?" Carli asked, and he leaned down to kiss her.

"I am not that careless, Carli. I always covered myself then, and I assume you did as well. You would have stopped us before we began otherwise." Eric told her, and she bit her lip as she frowned. He took in her expression and stared thoughtfully at her. "Weren't you out there trying to move on yourself? You did break it off with him."

"Not me. I am a redundant type of girl and just slept with him here and there when the moment suited me. Never the right ones, mind you. That was why I came here. It was set for a few weeks later but we were just getting out of hand. He was dating a nice girl last time and I can only hope that he fixed that."

"So was this a moment of redundancy, Carli?" Eric asked her, and she closed her eyes.

"I hope not." Carli said, and moved over to press herself against him. "I just can't treat it as something casual, and it felt weird when I considered doing that. I like what I feel with you."

"What is that?" Eric asked her, and she kissed his chest lightly. "I can honestly say that I still love you. I want to know you more, but that is there to deepen as I do."

"Let's work on that." Carli told him, feeling it as well but scared to say the words. She closed her eyes as he stroked her hair, and continued to kiss his dampened skin as she felt sleep taking over.