I do not own any True Blood characters. I only put them into smutty situations and through emotional drama.
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Carli sat alone until she had to leave, and called for a cab. She checked her stuffed suitcase and left her apartment, locking the door behind her before heading to the elevator. It was still dark outside and she stood inside of the lobby until the cab pulled up. Carli headed outside and the driver hopped out and helped her with the suitcase, loading it into the car after giving her a curious look. They drive was quiet and the airport was refreshingly empty, as she walked through with her hoodie pulled up and her faux glasses on. She seemed to not be noticed, and got on the flight without any forced conversation with anybody. Carli settled into her seat after shoving her backpack under the seat in front of her, and closed her burning eyes. She was relieved when the plane took off and she was alone in her row, and she got as comfortable as she could and closed her eyes. No sleep that night and the emotions she went through were catching up to her, and she dozed during the short flight to Chicago. Carli did not want to have an episode on the plane, so she was careful to keep her emotions in check when she was awake. She got a text from Jimmy saying he was there to get her as she landed, and she sighed as she realized that now it would be hard. She would have to see Ryan's family, and they were as close to her as they could be without her being a blood relative. There was Travis, who she knew was devastated. Carli walked through the airport, seeing the morning sun shining through the windows, and she looked at it with some false hope. It was a fall day in Chicago and sunny, and it should mean something. She focused her eyes forward and her eyes searched for Jimmy, and her heart sank as she saw his face. He looked stressed and tired, and she suddenly felt guilty for the untimely flight. They hugged tightly, and she glanced over at the television screen above his shoulder to see Ryan's face with the announcement of his death, and she closed her eyes. "It didn't take long to get all over the news, did it?"
"No. His parents are going to be going crazy soon." Jimmy agreed, and they looked at each other. "Why are you alone?"
"What do you mean? Who would I bring to this?" Carli asked, staring at him as he frowned.
"Your boyfriend?" Jimmy suggested, and she looked down for a long moment.
"This needed to be done alone. He has work and everything else." Carli stumbled over her words, and forced her eyes to the belt carrying the luggage, and felt the pain wash through her.
"This does not have to be done alone, Car. Nobody expects you to be super woman." Jimmy told her, and she shrugged. He shook his head and took her hand as they walked over to get her bag, and then they headed to the car.
"So who is worse off?" Carli asked, deciding who she should go and see.
"His parents are seeing people at the house already, and they are holding up for the most part. Travis….I am worried about him. He has been sleeping nonstop since he heard, and I don't want him alone. I don't think he would want anyone but you right now, Car. You guys were the closest to Ryan." Jimmy told her, and tears welled up in her eyes.
"He's really gone." Carli said, and Jimmy opened up her door for her.
"Yeah. Fucking drunk driver on the freeway." Jimmy said, his eyes full of anger and pain. "It's going to be bad here for awhile. Really bad." They went to the house that Jimmy shared with Travis, and Lisa hugged her tightly as they walked in. She looked tired and Jimmy pulled her to their room for some sleep as Carli set her bag against the wall and yawned. She walked into Travis's room, seeing him slumped quietly under his blankets. She slid under them, and wrapped her arms around him tightly as he moved slightly. He didn't speak, so she assumed that he was still sleeping, and she fell asleep herself cuddled against him. He was playing Ryan's music on his Ipod dock and she let a tear slide down her cheek as she listened to the familiar song.
"Carli." She stirred when she heard her name later, and a hand stroking her hair. "You're here."
"I came right away." Carli said in a hoarse voice, and they hugged each other tightly.
"You're alone?" Travis asked in surprise, and she took a deep breath.
"I knew I would be with a lot of people here, Trav. It's better this way." Carli said, and felt him kiss her hair. She felt so warm next to him, and it was like she could hide under the covers and pretend. "I will be here as long as you need me." That began Carli's attempt at being strong for everyone else, sleeping next to Travis and comforting him when he needed it. She visited his mom and dad and comforted them, helping them plan the service and everything else that went with it. Carli never cried like the had at her apartment, and she collapsed every chance she got to sleep. The days and nights ran together and soon it was the night before the funeral. Mom had planned a gathering for the closest friends at their house that night before the massive church service, and Carli was helping in the kitchen in the gray dress that she had pulled on after a rushed shower at Travis's. She was preparing a salad and she stared at it blankly as she mixed it, feeling emotionally drained. The doorbell kept ringing, and she moved over to the brownies that she started to cut.
"Carli." Ryan's mom called to her, and Carli glanced up at Elizabeth to see Eric standing beside her. Her breath caught in her throat and she stared quietly at him, as his gaze took in her appearance with a silent intensity. "It's so nice to meet your new boyfriend."
"What are you doing here?" Carli asked him, and the stared at him with angry eyes.
"Excuse me, Eric. I am going to borrow Carli for a moment." Elizabeth said after a moment of silence, and stared at the girl. "Come along, sweetheart."
"OK." Carli replied, and stepped forward and glanced down as she passed Eric. Elizabeth looked at him with a promising gaze and then took Carli upstairs to a quiet room and sat her down on the bed.
"It has been so busy around here and we have not had a chance to really talk. What's going on, Carli? Shouldn't you be happy that he is here to support you? You have been so strong for all of us." Elizabeth told her, sitting beside her and looking at her with warm eyes. She loved Carli like her own daughter, and she was worried about her.
"I didn't want him to be a part of this, Mom. Ryan was not supportive of us, and he died hating me." Carli felt a tear slide down her cheek, and she blinked and wiped her eyes. "I see Eric and I remember that, and I was wrong to do what I did to him."
"He never hated you. Loved you, but never hated. He knew that he did something stupid, and that hurt him as well as your own mistake. He only wanted things right between you guys again, and he had every intention of contacting you and making things right again." Elizabeth's eyes watered, and she wiped them as they slid down her cheeks. "He never got that chance, but he did love you and want to make things right. He knew that you were happy with your Eric, and that hurt him."
"I never wanted that. I loved him so much once, and now I can never say that I am sorry." Carli finally cried, deeply and freely. She had been putting on the strong front all week, and she could not do it anymore. Elizabeth gathered her into her arms and let her, watching as her own tears flowed freely. They were quiet for several moments and then they talked some more before they went downstairs to greet their guests. Carli splashed cold water on her blotchy face slowly and took a few deep breaths before she joined Elizabeth and she looked around the growing crowd that mingled between the living room and the dining room. Carli went into the kitchen and helped Elizabeth finish the food and they set it out on the long dining room table along with plates and cups and some drinks, and then Carli faced the crowd. She greeted the close friends they had made with hugs and tears, and looked slowly for Eric as she mingled. Everyone began to eat and they sat where they could, and she stepped outside for some fresh air. She had barely eaten at all and her energy was low. Eric seemed to have left and she stared with empty eyes across the long stretch of grass that lay before her, one that she had spent a lot of time on in her past.
"Feeling better?" His voice was low and she turned her head without looking at him.
"In a way. Other ways, not at all." Carli replied, and blinked.
"You look terrible, Carli. I doubt that you have eaten and it does not look like you have slept much either."
"I have been staying with Travis mostly. He is having a hard time and has had some insomnia. I have slept but so poorly that it has not mattered." Carli answered, and felt him stroke her loose bangs back. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and she closed her eyes.
"Who has been there for you?" Eric asked her, and she shrugged. "I am here because Jimmy answered your phone one day while you were trying to sleep. He urged me to come to be here for you, because he is so fucking worried about you. I have been as well back in New York. I need to try and take care of you."
"I just need this to not be happening." Carli said, and looked at him. "I suppose we should go inside and do this." She went first and Eric followed, fixing them a plate and getting her settled into a big chair as he sat on the arm near her. Everyone was talking together, and after they ate Elizabeth offered them drinks it became something of a remembrance. They all told their own stories, and Carli alternated between crying and laughing at the past. Eric watched her closely as he slid his fingers back and forth over her shoulders, seeing her relax as she sipped wine. She had eaten some food and the color was back in her face a little, and she leaned back against him. Jimmy glanced at them with relieved eyes, and he and Eric shared a glance. Travis sat by Carli on the floor, touching her leg with his shoulder as he stared at the ground. Elizabeth and Kevin sat together on the loveseat, laughing and crying at stories of their son as his sister and brother sat on the floor. The night ended on a lighter note than it had began and Carli stood slowly and stretched, and Eric watched as the shiny dress slid up her thigh a bit. Travis joined her and she looked at him as she stroked his shoulder, and then she glanced at Eric. "Are you coming tomorrow?"
"Carli…I." he glanced at Travis and then pulled her into the empty kitchen slowly. "I want to offer you the peace of the room I have in the city tonight. You can soak in the bath and sleep without taking care of anybody, and I can rest knowing you are doing that. This is not about sex or doing anything together, but I want you by me."
"I…." Carli's voice died off, and she looked down. "I do need sleep. I need everything I can get to make it through tomorrow. Can you take me to the apartment to get some things?" She checked with Travis to make sure he would be alright, and then said her goodbyes. Eric led her to a luxury rental and she slid inside gratefully as she closed her eyes. Her head was pounding and she felt weak, and Eric looked at her as he got in.
"Lover, I am going to tuck you in and keep you safe tonight." He drove to the apartment where she filled her backpack with stuff she needed, and grabbed the dress for the funeral. She walked back out to the car and got in and let him carry her things to the room once she got there. She looked around the large room, eyeing the large bathtub in the huge bathroom and the equally large king size bed. Eric saw her eyes and he went in and ran a bath for her, lighting some candles and adding some scent to the water. "All yours."
Carli stepped into the bathroom and looked at the steamy water gratefully. She glanced at him and laughed weakly. "Are you just trying to see me naked?"
"I would never deny myself that pleasure, but I am merely here to relax you." Eric assured her, and Carli sighed and turned to have him unbutton the dress. She slipped out of it and pulled off her bra and briefs and slipped into the water, closing her eyes. Eric slipped off his steel gray button up shirt and leaned down behind her. He reached in and massaged her shoulders slowly and with heavy fingers, and she sighed audibly. "Can I get in with you? I want to hold you and be closer. I want to wash your hair and ease all of this tension."
"Yes." Carli said, in a daze from the exhaustion and the massage. He stripped and moved behind her, and she felt the added heat even through all of her pain. He massaged shampoo into her hair slowly and she leaned back to rinse it, and he continued to massage her skin. She slid her hands down and over his legs slowly, and felt his arousal behind her.
"I'm sorry." Eric told her, and she shook her head.
"It is what we are." Carli replied, and shrugged. "All about the sex and the heat, and it gets more complicated by the moment. I don't even know who I am anymore, but I need to find out."
"You are a passionate woman, Carli. You may have a slight attraction towards women, but whatever the case, that does not make you a bad person." She dug her fingers deeper into his legs and he grew harder. "Pam seems to do something for you, though you always feel so guilty. I am sorry it got so far the other night. I was angry at first but then I was turned on watching you come like that, and I saved it all to make love to you."
"You made Pam come as well." Carli reminded him, and he slid his hands down her back and around her front just before her breasts. He stroked gently and she took a deep breath. The wine made her head fuzzy and she allowed herself to give in to her desire and raw need at that moment as her body throbbed, and she heard him speak again.
"I owed her that simple pleasure." Eric told her, and she leaned back so his hands drifted to her nipples slowly. "I wanted to yank you off the bed and fuck you all alone, but you were enjoying yourself. I liked watching you pleasure her. Did you like it when I made her come?" Carli whimpered as she rose up to slide against his cock, and he pinched her nipples. He slid one hand down her back and under her, sliding a finger into her as she moaned gratefully. Carli moved hard over his finger as he added another, pressing closer against his firm erection. She moved her ass over it and he growled as she teased him. "I'll take that as a yes." Carli cried out as he bent his fingers slightly, just enough to hit the spot inside of her that pushed her over the edge. "I liked fucking you when you made her come better. I could not get deep enough inside of you." He gripped her breast tight as she rode him harder, and she cried out in pain. "You're so tight, Carli." She came hard, unable to hold out, and he continued to drag her over his cock as she shuddered, moaning as her body held onto it. Eric grunted and she felt him twitch against her, coming into the water as he breathed her name. They stumbled out of the water after they recovered, drying off enough not to soak the bed with water before they tumbled down into a mess of arms and legs. Eric kissed Carli fiercely and she returned his eagerness with her tongue, sliding it into his mouth to tease him. She felt him push her onto her knees and she heard him stroking himself to bring him to a full erection, and she moaned as he touched her.
"Spank me." Carli whispered, and closed her eyes as she waited.
"What?" Eric asked after a long moment, but his hand slid over her ass as she bent before him.
"You heard me." Carli told him, and she moaned as he slapped her skin lightly. She felt herself get wetter and she heard him groan as he discovered it with his fingers. He slid another finger inside her and slapped her again harder, and she bucked against him with a moan. "God. Eric." Carli whimpered, feeling him push her forward and enter her deeply. He spanked her randomly through the sex, but soon all she felt was him slapping against her, and she screamed into her pillow as she came. She slumped forward and he collapsed on top of her after he released, as they both took deep breaths.
"Where did that come from?" Eric asked her, and she closed her eyes.
"I don't know. I just wanted the pain along with the sex." Carli replied, and he stroked her sides.
"Were you looking to be punished?" Eric asked her, and she shrugged as best she could. "I don't want to punish you, Carli. I love you too much. I want you to stop punishing yourself as well."
"I am changing so fast, Eric, and now I am here dealing with this. I am in even further at questioning who I am."
"Are you going on tour?" Eric asked her, and she sighed.
"Yeah. It was all set up and it seems the best way to heal. Trav will only wallow in his room if we do not get him out of here." Carli replied, and she heard him suck in his breath. "It seems right in a way, Eric."
"I don't want to wait that long to see you again." Eric told her, and she felt him kiss her shoulder.
"It is only for a couple of months. Maybe I will come back a whole new woman." Carli tried to joke, and failed miserably.
"I don't want that. I want you, as flawed as you think you are." Her skin still stung and her body was contracting slowly even still, and she basked in it for a long moment. "We will stop whatever it is that disturbs you, Carli. I don't even want anyone but you." They moved together to hold each other, and he stroked back her hair as he kissed her. She fell asleep in his arms, sleeping deeply until she heard her phone. Carli opened her eyes, still in his arms and his bed, and she looked at the window to see sun shining against the thin curtain. It was Ryan's funeral. She had to say her final goodbyes with family and friends and strangers today, and she felt the sting in her eyes. Carli pulled herself out of the bed and shut the phone off, perching on the edge of the bed to look at Eric as he slept. He was a gorgeous sight, and she let her eyes rove over his naked torso and down to where the sheet barely covered him. She remembered the night before, and many even before that, and the memories made her smile bitterly. They had love, but they had a weird sexual vibe going as well that she could not let rest in her stomach well. She seemed to willingly let Pam in when it suited her as well, and she shook her head. She let her gaze rest on him once again, moving up to slide the sheet down and take him into her mouth. He gripped her hair as he abruptly woke up, and she slid her mouth tightly up and down his hardening cock. Tears slid down her cheeks as he came deep in her throat, and she pulled away and layed against his stomach. They got up to shower and dress slowly, and she pulled on her black sleeveless dress and gray cardigan. Her hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail, and she wore little make up. Eric came out of the bathroom straightening his tie and she glanced at him. He kissed her simply and slowly, and she slid her feet into the heels she had brought before they left.
The church was beautiful and large, with stained glass windows all around it. Carli stated at it as he parked across the street and then gazed at all of the people gathered. So many familiar faces. "If this were a better occasion, I would call it quite a star studded event." Eric remarked, and she nodded. Elizabeth would have preferred small, but Ryan had become quite popular and well known. They got out of the car and she greeted people out front and hugged Ryan's parents and her band mates tightly. They found seats close, and the service began as she felt Eric take her hand. She let the tears fall down her cheeks, pulling herself together to sing the song that her had written for Travis alongside her best friend up front along with a few others. People spoke about Ryan, and the admiration for him was obvious. She stood when it was over on shaky legs and they made their way to the car, where he pulled her into his arms.
"I am glad that you're here, even though I was too stubborn to ask you myself." Carli told him, and they headed to the restaurant rented out for the event. She sat with her band and Eric, eating and chatting with people as they came by. The tour was mentioned, and everyone looked at each other before they confirmed that it was still on. Eric looked at the table and she glanced at him briefly before looking away. He was due to leave the following day, since Pam had stepped up and started to devote herself to the company and gave him some time away. They would not see each other for a few months, and they made love slowly and sweetly that night.
"I would be happy with this every night. I don't need the rougher sex, seeing you with a woman, or any of it but this. You and I like this." Eric told her, and she stared at him.
"Let's work on that when I come home." Carli told him, and he kissed her. "I love you, Eric. I want to try our best. "
"I will wait for you." Eric told her, moving down to kiss her neck as she smiled.
"No Pam while I am gone?"
"Carli, I would never think of that." Eric told her firmly, and she saw the glare in his eyes as he raised himself to look at her. "I cannot order you to not see her in that capacity, but I don't want to at all."
"I am done with that." Carli told him, wanting simplicity. "I'm sorry for saying that. Part of me is jealous of her being there with you."
"No worries. I am all yours, my lover." Eric assured her, and kissed her again. It deepened slowly, and she slid her legs around him as she felt the familiar tingle in her body. They rolled over and she made love to him again, staring into his gorgeous blue eyes as she moved over him and reading every emotion in them. She cried the next day as they said goodbye on the room, and then took a cab back to Travis's place. They focused on tour practice as a band then, and it seemed to heal all of them. They left for tour ready for a change and ready to see the country, but Carli missed Eric deeply. She missed him with her body as she went to sleep at night, and her heart when she spoke to him. She longed for the day when she would return, but the fans were amazing on the tour. They brought flowers for her, since her and Ryan were fairly public as a former couple, and hugged her and gave her presents. They screamed for her when she sang and when she was done, and the feeling it gave her was above and beyond exhilaration. She cried almost every night that they spoke, both with happiness and sadness. Carli looked forward to going home, but she looked out of the window of the bus with a smile as they drove through Louisiana and talked to Eric. She wanted to heal and be happy with herself and she felt like she was accomplishing that on the break. She thought of Ryan and his short life after she hung up, and a tear filled her eye. She would love to have him see them perform again, to just talk to him. She wished that he was alive. Carli sighed and went back to her bunk, talking to the guys as she settled in for the night.