I do not own any True Blood characters, though I don't know why I write that every time. They're humans this time!

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Carli stared at the ceiling again, feeling like she was right back to the same uncomfortable place she had already been. Eric was laying beside her, and Pam had gotten up and apparently went into the guest room. If she was trying to give the privacy, it was a little late for that. He closed his eyes wearily and stroked her stomach as she rested on her back, feeling like she needed to bold out of there. She closed her eyes and tried to relax, but she knew that she was only waiting for him to sleep so she could get out of there and hurry home. She felt like a whore laying there after what had happened, time and time again, and she was so tired of it. She missed feeling normal and feeling good about herself, and she thought about the album and the upcoming holidays with a hopeful smile. Eric's breathing evened out and she slid out from under his long arm and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She splashed cold water on her face and fixed herself up, and walked out and looked at him. He seemed to be asleep, and she took one last look at his long torso as she sighed quietly. He was perfect in this quiet and from this view, but really so flawed if she thought too deep. They both were. She dressed and got her purse, and walked towards the door as she slid her necklace off quietly. She stared at it for a long moment, letting the diamonds catch the lights enough to sparkle, and then quickly hung it up on the doorknob. "Carli." His soft voice made her jump, and she closed her eyes for a moment. She heard him walking, but she would not look up as he stopped before her. "Where are you going?"

"I…I can't keep doing this." Carli said, and shook her head. "I am leaving soon anyway for awhile, and I might as well cut this off now. There is no point in continuing."

"Are you returning to New York? Have you decided to run away from me now and pretend that you don't care?" Eric's voice dropped to a cold tone, and she glanced up at his lightening eyes.

"I am not running. I am working and spending time with family for the holidays, which is all normal for people to do." Carli said softly, and he stared curiously at her. He glanced at the necklace and back at her face, and she blinked nervously. "I can't look at it anymore. That was a gift out of love, and now this is anything but love. It is all wrapped up in lust and desire and it is sick now."

"I have never forced you to do anything." Eric said, and she laughed bitterly.

"I know. That is one of the sickest parts. I want normal and healthy, and I want what I have had before." Carli said, thinking of Ryan for a fleeting second as her eyes stung. "I just need to step away and work for awhile and get back into my groove."

"It has been a rough few months for you, Carli. I get that. But we can be normal and healthy if that is what you want." Eric insisted, cupping her cheek with his hand and focusing his shimmering eyes on her. He looked like he had tears in them, and she frowned as he brushed her lips. "I love you and always have."

Carli sighed and slid her hands around his waist and kissed him for a long moment, wishing that things were different. "I have too many bad images in my head now, Eric. I can't do this anymore."

"I have a few as well." Eric admitted, and slid his hands back through her hair. "I have regrets, lover. I have them, but I would like to move past them and work this out."

"I need a break. I need to go home." Carli replied, and closed her eyes as he searched her mouth with his.

"You live here." Eric murmured against her lips, and she smiled.

"I have an address here. I miss my family." Carli said, and pulled him to her again. "I will miss you. Let's see what comes of this break."

"I will give you that." Eric told her, and they looked at each other. He kissed her long and hard, and she stumbled out of the front door as he tried to give her back the necklace. She didn't want it, and she told him to tell Pam goodbye and then walked to the elevator. She called for a cab as she stepped into the main lobby and waited inside for it, thankful that Eric had not followed her down. The apartment was empty when she arrived home, and she breathed a sigh of relief as she undressed and stepped into a hot shower. She could wash the feeling from her skin, but not from her memory. Carli pulled on a loose shirt and some shorts and crawled under her covers as she pulled them tightly around her, curiosity giving way towards Travis's whereabouts. Perhaps he had decided to spend the night with someone and knew that pursuing anything with her was not good for him. It wasn't. She shivered and felt her self hatred sinking in, and closed her eyes as she felt the need for sleep washing over her.

Carli woke up in the early afternoon after sleeping fitfully, and got up to make some coffee. Travis was on the couch in shorts with his notebook and she smiled at him wanly as she strolled by. "Have a good night?" Her voice was soft and he glanced up at her with searching eyes.

"Yeah, the band was great. I ended up at Bryan's after and fell asleep on his couch." Travis replied, and she nodded as she popped the container into the coffee maker. "How did yours go?"

"It went." Carli replied shortly, not wanting to get into it. She was surprised that he still cared about her as much as he did after knowing the little she had let on to.

"Oh. OK." Travis responded after a moment, and she pulled her cup from under the spout. "So I talked to the band last night and they are looking to set up studio time. We'll need time to sit together and work on the stuff, and Thanksgiving is coming up as well."

"Yeah, that sounds great, Let's go soon." Carli agreed, finally stepping out of the kitchen and sitting on the couch. "I miss Chicago."

"Do you?" Travis asked her, and she felt his eyes on her.

"Yeah, I do." Carli replied, meeting his gaze. "I want to be where the home fires burn for awhile, as sappy as that might sound."

"I will set it up for a couple of weeks from now. We'll have time to write some that way, and still manage to meet with the others before we get the studio. Thanksgiving falls right in that time as well, so that will be good. You might be gone a month or so though. Is that a problem? Travis asked her, and she heard the deep curiosity in his voice.

"Not at all. Probably a good idea actually." Carli told him, and he leaned over and kissed her hair.

"Sorry, Car." Travis told her, and she shrugged. He probably assumed that her and Eric had just ended things over dinner, and she was fine with that idea. The truth was much worse. They made lunch and worked on writing songs and playing chords, and that became their lives. They would go out to eat or for drinks sometimes, but otherwise were in the house working. Carli didn't feel up to a lot of socializing, and writing was a great sense of therapy for her and a nice way to remain quiet. Travis still slept in her room, but she brushed off any attempts he made towards becoming closer. He got the hint and stopped, but she could still feel something between them. She got through the week and then half of the other week by obsessing about writing and thinking of little else, and was a bit relieved when she needed to run out and grab stuff for her trip. Travis was out with friends again, and she stuffed her laptop into a messenger bag and pulled it over her body. Carli was walking by her Starbucks and she glanced in to see her favorite couch empty in the corner, and she stepped inside and ordered a chai tea latte and grabbed it. She set up her computer and threw the bag next to her, and popped in ear buds to go over what the band had emailed to her as far as songs and lyrics again. It felt good to be out of the house and wearing something other than sweats, and she took a deep breath and inhaled the warm scent of the coffee in the room. Carli listened to the files and hummed along, and jumped when someone touched her shoulder.

"Hey there." Carli greeted her friend and fellow singer Brad, pulling out the ear buds. He sat down and they chatted about the new record and his band for awhile before he looked closely at her. He asked how she was doing since Ryan's death, and she told him that she was okay and getting through it. Brad bought her another drink and set it down before he bid her farewell, and they both looked up as her duet came over the speakers. Some of the fans in the room clapped softly, and she blushed as she met Brad's gaze.

"This is really good, Car." Brad told her, his indigo eyes warm on her as he looked down.

"Thanks. Troy gets most of the credit." Carli smiled as she looked back at him, still pained by the song and the memories associated with it. He got a text and had to leave, and he kissed her hair before rushing out of the door. Carli murmured the words of the last chorus and glanced up to see Eric in line staring at her, and she swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. She had been doing better not seeing him or talking to him. She had been feeling relatively normal. He got his drink and walked towards her, and she noticed his white shirt that he had loosely unbuttoned with a press of her lips.

"I have such a tendency of walking past this place and looking in, and today you are here." Eric said softly, and looked down at her as if asking permission to sit. She nodded silently as she stared at the floor, and he sat closely to her as she took a deep breath. "I thought you might be gone already."

"A few days from now." Carli confirmed, brushing her hair back with one hand. She snuck a glance at him, and watched him loosen another button on the shirt and she longed to finish the job and rip it off of his body. She met his gaze and saw the same raw need in his, and she could not look away. "I have a lot to do there to get ready for the studio, living away from them and all."

"I would imagine." Eric murmured, and she bit her lip. "Are you doing well, Carli? I wanted to give you some space after our…..last meeting."

"That is a vague word to describe it." Carli said, and his eyes expressed some sorrow. He reached over and stroked the back of her neck and up into her hair, rubbing gently as she sighed. His fingertips felt hot against her skin and she fought the urge to moan. "I'm fine, Eric. You?" Her voice was breathy and she winced inside.

"I would say that I am surviving." Eric told her softly, and she leaned her head back unconsciously. "Can I take you to lunch today? I would love to spend some time with you and talk."

"We are here. We can talk." Carli said, fighting going anywhere with him. Her body was reacting to him, tightening low inside and dampening between her legs. She was so horny with just that touch, and she forced herself to look forward and focus. How could he do this to her so easily?

"That is very true, but I am hungry." Eric told her, and she felt his hands in her hair, tugging on a strand. She imagined him behind her tugging on it, and bit her lip hard to keep from reacting to the image with a sound. "It can be something simple. That deli we like?"

Carli found herself on his couch and hour later, the sandwiches on the table as they kissed hungrily. She was straddling him, and his hands were roaming her back as their tongues met eagerly. Her hoodie was on the floor by the door, but she was pleased that her clothes were still on even if her denim skirt was pushed up her hips to allow her close proximity to him. She was getting lost in him and she moaned against his lips. Carli felt him pull on her hair as he moved his lips to her earlobe and neck slowly, and she took a deep breath. "You just wanted to get me here."

"I saw your eyes and your body language, Carli. You wanted to be here." Eric countered, pushing her back onto the couch gently, as her legs remained around him as he turned to face her. She knew that her thin wife beater did nothing to hide her arousal, and she glanced at Eric to see the pleased smile on his face. "I love it when you are in this state of need." She wished she would have thought about a bra, but the thought was lost as he slid his palm up her stomach and between her breasts slowly, not quite close enough to her hard nipples. Carli arched her back and he slid his fingertip around one nipple slowly as she closed her eyes. His hand moved to the thick band of her thigh high tights, and above it to the soft skin and she felt his eyes burning into her. "I want something, Carli."

Her eyes opened widely as she looked at him, scared of what it could be. He looked at her with reassuring eyes, and reached for her hand that was gripping a pillow tightly next to her. "What?"

"Carli, do not be so jumpy. This is just us." He put her hand between her legs, over the lace boy shorts that were soaked through at this point. "I want you to touch yourself for me. I want to watch you make yourself orgasm like you used to." She used to when they were a threesome, and the idea filled her with distaste until his finger softly stroked her clit. She jumped visibly and he chuckled. "Finish the job, lover. You're so wet and ready." She was and she stroked herself over the material slowly, whimpering as her body responded. Eric moved back to give her room, parting her legs and settling them around him again, and she looked at him.

"Do you want these on or off?" Her hand slid over the lace slowly, and he swallowed.

"On for now. I will make sure they are removed when I cannot take it anymore."

"In that case…." Carli slid her hand down the front and found her wet center, swollen and throbbing. She stroked her folds and slipped a finger inside, moaning at the tight feeling around her. She has been doing this frequently during her hard to find alone time, missing Eric and his touch since their part. Carli needed release and she stroked her clit with a whimper, closing her eyes and giving in to the sensation. Her whole body felt connected to her touch and she parted her legs further as she felt his hands brush her thigh. She heard his voice urging her, low and seductive, and it reverberated through her and added to the building up of her impending orgasm. She blinked to see him staring at her with dark eyes, his pants unbuckled and his hands stroking himself over them slowly as he watched her. Carli gasped as he slid her underwear off roughly without slowing her, and he leaned in closer to see her fingers moving. She told him that she was close and cried out his name as the first wave hit her, and she desperately tried to keep it coming. She felt him move and suddenly his face was between her legs, his lips sucking her clit into his mouth as she screamed his name. He drew out the powerful orgasm with his lips and tongue, even his teeth, and she realized that she needed him this way. Alone it was merely a release built on a memory of them together, but together is was an explosion. She finally felt herself slowing and she rested quietly as he licked her and tasted her hungrily.

"You taste so fucking good. I never want to taste anyone but you, Carli." Eric said after a particularly hard stroke of his tongue. She moaned again and felt him sit up. He picked her up and carried her to his bed effortlessly, and she heard the button and zipper of her denim mini as he removed it. Carli pulled off her shirt on her own, and he pulled her into his lap to suck her nipples into his mouth hard. She lifted herself and slid her arms around his neck as his hands gripped her ass and slid around to stroke her clit again. Carli gripped his hair tightly and moaned as her body responded again, and he bit down on her nipple and made her cry out. "Tell me what you want, Carli." Eric murmured into her ear, and she felt her knees buckle. Carli wanted him inside of her, stretching her and hurting her, and she felt shame wash over her for a moment.

"I want you to fuck me, Eric. I want you to fuck me hard." Carli whispered, and he pushed her back and slid his tip inside of her. "Oh, god. I need you, Eric. Fuck me now." He slowly slid himself all the way inside of her, and she moaned as she stretched and adjusted. It was a good pain, and she slid her legs around him.

"Your tight pussy is all I need, Carli." Eric told her, before driving himself into her harder. He increased it until she was nearly screaming his name as he passed over her sweet spot again and again. He filled her beyond capacity and she memorized the feeling of him inside of her, and the feeling of her tightening around him before she released as she screamed his name. Eric moaned and came right after, and she felt him spill inside of her forcefully. She was glad that she had stayed on the pill, and she pulled him down to her for a long kiss. She tasted herself on him and she eagerly licked around his lips as he let her. "Do you miss that taste on your lips, Carli?"

"It is a thing of my past." Carli responded, and their eyes met. "I only ever wanted you, Eric."

"I feel the same."

"But you reached for her. You wanted her over me." Carli said, and the hurt was evident in her voice. The hurt was in her eyes and he moved next to her and pulled her close.

"It was the heat of the moment. There were times I didn't know what I was even doing until I was already there. I regret those times now. I regret ever letting anyone else in." Eric told her, and she saw the pain in his eyes. "I love you, Carli. I always did."

"Did you fuck her after I left?" Carli asked after a long moment, and he looked away.

"We tried to. We both felt left and empty, and we thought we could comfort each other. It was obvious that everything was built around you and we did nothing for each other alone. I only see her during work now, Carli. It ruined us and our friendship, just like it ruined you and I. But you're here now." Eric said regretfully, and she blinked sadly.

"Everybody says that threesomes are so great. The ultimate fantasy." Carli murmured, and shook her head. "All I feel is pain and sadness."

"Regret." Eric finished for her, and they looked at each other. "Did you ever love Pam in any way?"

"I was very attracted to her for one reason or another. I never loved her, but I could not stay away. I knew that I was always in love with you. I am sorry that you and her are not doing well right now, and maybe even that I will not see her. We were friends."

Eric pulled her to him for another kiss, and she pushed him to his back. Carli moved over him, and even in their strain their bodies reacted to one another easily. They moved to kissing hungrily and hard, and he pressed against her as he hardened. She slid down his body and took him into her mouth, tasting everything again. She licked and sucked and he gripped her hair tightly, telling her to move to her knees as she felt him tightening in her mouth. She did, and he forced her into the pillows as he drove himself into her, muffling her noises. They both came together, and she collapsed to the bed, and he rolled over and stroked her back. She giggled, and glanced back at him. "What, lover?"

"I think I am hungry. How about those sandwiches?"