9.

They sat together in a secluded part of the courtyard, on a stone bench behind some tall trees. It was not quite past curfew but it was far too cold for anyone else to be out of doors at this time of day. The sun had set an hour ago, and only the moon gave away their presence as its light reflected their pale faces. They were talking closely, their hands entwined between them and stealing kisses every so often. The wind began to pick up and she laughed in a nervous, embarrassed fashion as her long hair swept about her face and her robes began to blow up. He did not seem to mind however, simply holding them down with his free hand and continuing to kiss her despite her hair whipping at his face. They broke apart only to lean against each other, smiling fondly into each other's eyes.

Lily watched the scene play out from a window on the second floor.

"Do you suppose I must have been a very bad girlfriend, then?"

James paused beside her only briefly to see what had caught her attention before continuing his leisurely pace down the corridor. "I don't know."

With a final glance at the couple Lily pushed off from the window ledge, following him with her arms crossed across her chest. James paused at a well known snogging spot to flip back the tapestry only to discover an empty hallway. Lily was able to catch up with him and fell into step as they continued along the main corridor. "I hate that they look happy. Why couldn't he have been happy with me?"

"I don't know," he said again.

Lily huffed at his lack of opinion. "I don't understand why people cheat. Wouldn't it be easier to just break up with the old person before moving on? Then they wouldn't have to sneak about in the wind and the dark like that."

"Maybe they think it's romantic out there." He did not see the glare she sent him as he retrieved his wand and shone it's light down the next corridor. "Quiet tonight."

She huffed again. Couldn't he just, for once, agree with her?

Finally he turned back to her, catching sight of her cross expression by the light of his wand. "What?"

"Nothing," she sighed, stepping past him and starting off down the next stretch of corridor.

She could hear his footsteps pick up behind her as he jogged to catch up with her brisk pace. "Are you not well or something?"

"Or something," she muttered.

They walked in silence a bit further until James stopped abruptly, taking her hand so that she was also forced to a halt. "Let me show you something," he said, indicating over his shoulder.

"James," she sighed. "I really just want to finish rounds, okay? I'm tired and-"

"It'll make you feel better."

She seriously doubted it but he was smiling nicely as though he really thought he had some sort of treat in store. "What is it?"

"A surprise."

"The last time you told me that my hair turned green."

He sniggered at the memory before extending his hand. "Come on, you'll like it."

She was skeptical but took his proffered hand anyway, allowing him to guide her up staircase after staircase in what was mostly silence. She realized where he was taking her the moment she stepped foot on the seventh floor.

"Ah," she smirked as they came to a halt beside a familiar tapestry. "The mysterious wall." She released his hand to run her fingers across the bricks. "Are you sure there's a room big enough for a party behind there?"

"And a broom closet, convenient for disposing of a couple of Head prefects."

She glanced at him over her shoulder, her brow furrowed. "It's in the room?"

"The closet is the room."

Now she was really confused. He leaned against the tapestry smiling back at her, obvious of her bewilderment. "But how-?"

"We were quite happy with Gryffindor Tower to begin with," he cut her off politely, pushing off the wall as he began to slowly pace the area in front of her. "But then we decided we wanted alcohol and we couldn't expose the younger kids to that sort of thing – the Head Girl certainly wouldn't approve," he added with a smirk. "So a new venue had to be sought out." Lily tuned her back to the wall, leaning against it and watching him pace as he continued with his tale. "We'd been searching for days for something suitable – an empty classroom maybe – but nothing was good enough. And then one day Moony said he'd found this big empty room up on the seventh floor. None of us believed him of course so we made him point it out, and sure enough, all we found was a wall."

"You must have been very disappointed."

"Oh we were. Remus especially because he was so sure there had been a room here. We teased him of course, and he started getting angry and storming about complaining that it had just up and moved like the staircases do – all the while going on and on about what this vanishing room looked like. And then all of a sudden-"

He stopped just like that, coming to a halt and turning to face her expectantly. Lily was on edge, dying to know what had happened next, when she realized quite suddenly herself, that the wall she was leaning against didn't feel very wall-like anymore. In fact, it felt rather like a door. She turned slowly, amazed at what she saw. "Oh my God! How did you do that?"

"I don't know," he replied honestly with a low chuckle at her surprise. He stepped forward and took hold of the door handle, pushing it open and revealing a darkened, windowless room. "It will be decorated of course."

Lily gaped in amazement. "It's huge!" Her voice echoed into the room. She turned back to James with a puzzled expression. "I still don't understand; you said this was the closet, but how-?"

He shrugged. "I don't know how it works," he admitted with a smile, closing the door. "I just know that if you hang around here long enough and think really hard about what you want, you'll get it."

Lily shook her head in astonishment. "Now that is truly brilliant magic."

He smirked. "It's Hogwarts; what did you expect?"

Lily bit her lip, looking at the door once again. "We could use this for…you know."

"We could," he nodded. "But that's not why I showed it to you."

"I know," she smiled, stepping away from him and to the area where he had paced previously. "Can I try it?"

"Be my guest." He folded his arms, watching her with an intrigued look as she followed his footsteps, walking back and forth slowly.

"We need somewhere private," she said aloud, letting her eyes drift closed. "Somewhere very private and very comfortable. Preferably somewhere that doesn't smell like brasso and has cold concrete floors," she added with a smirk which he returned. "Somewhere with light-"

"And carpeted," James added.

"And carpeted," Lily acknowledged. "With real furniture."

"Preferably a bed."

"James!" She opened her eyes to see him smirking back at her. She rolled her eyes. "A bed would be comfortable, I'll give you that… Do you think it's ready?"

"Only one way to find out."

With a nod Lily stepped forward and took hold of the door handle. She pushed it open, faced with the surprise of her life. She was speechless. This place had flickered in her mind only for an instant but she never would have thought it possible…

"This, is what you had in mind?" James said, stepping in and looking around. "Why is everything yellow? That's not sexy at all."

Lily ignored him, closing the door behind her as she entered the bedroom. The walls were white, dotted with tiny yellow flowers and a single pine bed stood in the center of the room. The duvet was yellow as were the curtains and the light shade. She had no idea how it was that the light was working, there was no electricity in the castle, but, she figured, this was all an illusion anyway. A very detailed illusion. A tall bookcase filled with children's novels stood in the corner beside a matching pine wardrobe and a set of draws. It was clean, but cluttered with various dolls and teddies, trinkets and boxes filled with what Lily knew to be nail varnishes and hair accessories. A radio sat on top of the draws; James was fiddling with it.

"It doesn't work properly," she told him. "It only gets one station." He glanced up at her questioningly. "This is my room," she said, looking around once more. "Was, anyway."

She sensed him step toward her. "At your parents' house?"

She nodded but did not look at him. For some reason she felt close to tears. She hadn't seen this room since her parents died and she had been sent to live with her Nana, and then Petunia when Nana had passed away too. She remembered going to Marks and Spencers with her Mother when she was eight to pick wallpaper. Petunia had said yellow was repulsive. Naturally Lily had made sure everything was yellow. Her room was pink now; Petunia loved pink.

"I like it," James announced, flopping down onto the bed and kicking off his shoes.

Lily sniffed and gave a watery laugh. "You said it wasn't very sexy."

"Well I suppose it depends on how you look at it," he said gesturing for her to come closer. She did so, settling herself on the edge of the bed, near his stomach. "We can pretend your folks are downstairs watching VT and I'm the rebellious but undoubtedly handsome boy you just let in through the window so we can make-out on your tiny bed. That's sexy."

She snorted. "It's TV, James."

"Hush," he told her pulling her down so that she was lying beside him. "You have to be quiet or else we'll be caught."

She could not help but giggle at his ridiculous antics and she kicked her shoes off so that she could properly snuggle up beside him. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, holding her close. She wasn't quite sure when it had become acceptable for them to act this way around each other, to cuddle and not feel weird about it, but it was a nice moment. She told him so.

"Don't thank me," he said. "This is all from your head, not mine."

"Still," she smiled, giving him an extra squeeze. "I never thought I'd see this place again."

He lifted his head slightly, looking down upon her with an anxious expression. "You're not going to cry, are you?" He sounded terrified by the thought.

She pushed him playfully so that he was no longer holding onto her and he sniggered as they each stretched out on their own side of the tiny bed. Just as Lily was thinking they needed a slightly bigger one, sure enough they were spaced out on a rather comfortable king size.

"Very nice," James approved.

"This place is amazing," Lily mused, still not over the wonder of it.

"That it is," he sighed. "And you're right – no one would ever catch us in here. But if you don't mind, can I choose the décor next time? Honestly Lily, yellow? What were you thinking?"

She laughed, and then snorted, and they both laughed harder because of it. "You still have that dorky laugh," he commented offhandedly when their giggles subsided.

"Oh shut up," she pouted.

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing; it's funny. You sound like a pig." He gave a few snorts for effect, laughing at himself.

"John thought it was gross," she added offhandedly. "It is, I suppose. You're just immature." He didn't object. "I'm sure Judy had a lovely laugh – very lady like."

"If there's anything that girl's not – it's a lady," James replied seriously. "Bit of a tart, actually."

"But a pretty tart," Lily countered him. "She has a nice face, don't you think? And she's so skinny."

"Bony more like," James scoffed. "Would be like shagging a skeleton, I'd imagine. Poor Johnny must be all bruised up after a session with her."

Lily could not help but laugh at the somewhat disturbing image he was conjuring up.

"I'm not kidding," he added, looking at her as though he thought she didn't believe him. "I prefer women that actually look like women; best sex I ever had was with a girl twice the size of you, maybe bigger."

She was surprised, and not quite sure whether or not she should believe him. The girlfriends he had had at Hogwarts were always fairly thin girls, with long legs and pretty faces. "Poppy Carlyle didn't do it for you then?"

He looked honestly confused. "Poppy Carlyle?"

"Don't tell me you don't remember Poppy Carlyle," Lily taunted. Poppy, of course, had been a year above them and every boy's fantasy. In Lily's opinion, she could have been the next Miss Universe had she been born a Muggle. James had dated her briefly last year.

"I remember her all right," he replied coolly. "But I didn't shag her."

Lily turned to her side, propping herself up on one elbow. "You didn't?"

"No. I don't sleep with every girl I go out with. I was only seeing Poppy for a fortnight at the most."

Lily was thoroughly surprised now. There were certain expectations about popular people like James Potter – especially James Potter. He was the kind of boy that received knickers in his Valentines Day cards and was the subject of many a love poem scrawled on the wall of the girls bathroom. Girls would do anything for him – he could have anyone he wanted. It was odd to think he wasn't taking advantage of that.

"Who did you sleep with? Who was your first?"

He was a little surprised at her audacity by the expression he gave her, but soon enough he had turned on his side, matching her stance and openly discussing his love life. "Wendy Thompson," he announced proudly. "In the Christmas holidays when I was seventeen. She was a Muggle – really nice girl."

"Do you still see her?"

"Nah, she moved to Wales with her family last October."

Lily hummed thoughtfully. "And then who?"

"Fern Mayweather."

"Not the Hufflepuff Chaser? James!" she cried, feigning alarm. "That's treason!"

He laughed aloud, rolling to his back and folding his arms behind his head. "It was a one time thing; she stopped speaking to me when I beat her in the final."

"It would have been Gentleman-like to let her have the Quaffle I suppose."

He snorted as though her suggestion was completely absurd. She rolled her eyes discreetly.

"So then?"

"That's it," he shrugged.

Lily wasn't sure if he was joking or not. "What about all those other girls you dated?"

"Nope."

"What about the fat girl?"

He chuckled. "Wendy was the fat girl." He turned his face toward her, giving her a searching look. "You're shocked."

"Yeah," she said, flopping down onto her back. "I mean, girls talk about you all the time – about your skills – it can't be all lies."

"My skills?" he repeated with a chuckle. "I have skills?"

"Apparently."

"Cool."

They lay in silence for a little while, while Lily processed this new information until James gave her a little jab in the side, regaining her attention. "Your turn then."

"Huh?"

"Who was your first? Come on, be fair."

"Oh." Lily continued to stare at the ceiling. It was always awkward admitting one was a virgin, although she knew perfectly well there was nothing to ashamed of at her age – or at any age. But James seemed to think she wasn't, and for some reason that made it a little uncomfortable.

"Eddy."

She turned back to him in surprise. "Pardon?"

"Edmund Rafferty, right?"

She shook her head, feeling her cheeks colour of their own accord. "No."

"Really?" He looked genuinely surprised. "What about Christopher Myers? You were with him for ages."

Again she shook her head. "Nope."

"You're kidding me," James said, looking at her suspiciously. "Just old Johnny boy then, eh?"

Lily averted her eyes.

James scoffed loudly and she turned to see him shaking his head in amusement. "You know, at first I felt guilty for hexing them when you said you hadn't done anything, but now I'm glad I did. Those lying bastards."

Lily blinked. "You…They… What?"

"Oh it wasn't a big deal really," he said, sensing her panic. "Just locker room talk, you know. I suppose Rafferty said he'd managed to get into your knickers so Myers thought he had to top him, or something stupid-"

"And you hexed them for it?" Lily cut him off. "Seriously?"

He looked rather sheepish to be admitting it. "Well…yeah. It was a long time ago – I guess I was just…. jealous… or something."

Lily scoffed, folding her arms tightly across her chest. It had been a long time ago when she'd dated those boys, but it still stung. "What is it with boys and sex? Isn't it ever enough to just be with somebody you care about? It used to be enough – why is everything about sex now?" She was angry with the boys James had brought up, but the image of John swam in front of her eyes. "They say they don't mind waiting but they push and push."

James frowned at her. "No one can make you do anything you don't want to, Lily." He sounded concerned. "Did they ever…I mean, they didn't they make you do something-"

"No," Lily cut him off. "Nothing like that. It just… it makes me mad, you know?" She sighed heavily.

"Every guy our age wants sex, Lily," he said, sounding almost apologetic about the fact. "In fact, all guys want se – it's perfectly normal. Some are just more polite about it than others I guess. And maybe girls aren't that different."

She snorted.

"It's true," he protested. "Those guys made up stories about you to sound cool – sounds like the girls I dated did the same thing, right?"

"Well you weren't exactly negating those rumours, were you?" she smirked. "The best sex I ever had," she added with a chuckle. "You mean the only sex you ever had."

"Hey, don't forget about Fern Mayweather! She was my second best at least!"

They each snorted with laughter, giggling into the night…

Lily awoke with a start. She sensed something was wrong about her situation immediately. For one, she wasn't in her dorm, and two, she certainly shouldn't be here. Was this some sort of freaky lucid dream? Why was she in her old…

Oh.

That's right.

Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and taking a moment to get over the shock of her surroundings, she sat up groggily. The light that had been on last night had been turned off at some point in the night and the early morning sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, bathing everything around her room in a pale blue light.

She glanced to the far side of the bed where James was still sleeping. He was snoring softly with his face half hidden in the pillows. They were both still dressed in yesterdays school robes, which Lily instantly regretted because they were now wrinkled terribly and her other set were still being laundered. Hopefully one of the girls knew a good charm for de-creasing. But it was far too early to wake any of them, or try to get back to the dorms for that matter. If a teacher caught her wandering about at this hour they'd wonder what was wrong for sure, and maybe think she'd snuck out, which she hadn't. She'd been in bed by eight-thirty – and it was her bed. Just not the one in Gryffindor Tower, where she was supposed to be. Oh, she thought suddenly. I hope the girls weren't wondering what had happened to me...

James yawned sleepily, catching her attention, but did not wake properly. He rolled to his back, throwing one arm over his head dramatically. He was not wearing his glasses and she did not recall his taking them off. Hah, he was probably lying on them – they'd be bent out of shape and leaving a spectacle shaped imprint in his back. The idea amused her – it used to happen all the time when they'd camp in the common room with Sirius, unless of course McGonagall caught them and sent them back to their dorms.

He was nothing like the boy she had known then, she thought, looking over his form as he slept. She had been taller than him back then, and now his feet nearly hung off the end of the bed. He was broader too, and not the skinny, gangly boy she remembered. He was not as big as John of course, but he was leaner and perhaps more defined. She'd noticed the muscles in his arms during their meetings when he'd roll up his sleeves before taking notes.

His face had not changed significantly. Perhaps his jaw was a tad wider; he'd filled out everywhere she supposed – his hands were bigger and his arms were hairier. She noticed a light stubble about his face now – he'd always joked about growing a beard the minute he got himself a bit of facial hair – like it would show how manly it was. Lily had told him not to because none of the girls he showed off for at practice would want to kiss him if he grew a scratchy beard. Then they would screw up their faces and make retching sounds because girls and boys were disgusting back then, even if they were friends. Kissing and sex and holding hands were all considered first class rubbish and they would poke fun at the older students they might happen upon snogging in a hallway.

Looking at him now though, years later when they were the older students, she didn't not suppose it was that bad. Just a bit of stubble though – not a real beard. She liked it when she could feel it rubbing against the skin of her neck as he had kissed her in his dorm, followed by the soothing feel of the cold frames of his glasses. It gave her tingles because it was so different to the feel of his lips and tongue, which were so soft and warm. John had always been clean-shaven and that was nice too, but it didn't quite have the same tingle-producing effect. She felt herself longing for that feeling again.

Somehow she had managed to maneuver herself right beside him, looking over his features intently. Maybe he could sense her closeness or perhaps he just knew she was watching him as he began to stir again, blinking at her in the dim light. She kissed his cheek lightly, brushing a hand through his hair, hoping he'd sense her intentions too. He smiled. "Mornin'," he spoke groggily.

"Poo!" Lily sniggered, pulling back. "You stink!"

"So do you," he replied nonchalantly, shifting closer to her as she tried to pull further away.

"Really?" Lily grimaced, placing a hand over her mouth swiftly. "How embarrassing," she muttered, as he came closer still. He was now quite clearly on her side of the bed. "No don't! I don't want you to smell me!"

"Ah, there's nothing wrong with a bit of morning breath if the chick you wake up to is good looking enough," he replied matter of factly, ignoring her reluctance as he made a move for her exposed neck.

"That has to be a line from Sirius," Lily uttered, forgetting all thought of embarrassment as he rubbed his stubble along her skin just the right way. Her hand dropped away from her face and her eyes fluttered closed of their own accord as he moved over her, slowly kissing along the column of her neck.

"Remus, actually," he said between kisses.

"No kidding. I would never have…um…never…"

"Yes?"

But she had completely forgotten what they were talking about as his tongue grazed her ear lobe and did not reply; unless she was to count the breathy gasp she emitted soon after.

Of course, this was all part of their routine, but it felt different lying down with him on top of her, and he was being extra attentive as they were trying to avoid each other's lips. There was no hesitance in his touch this time as his hands slid from her waist up to her chest where they lingered before running back down to her bottom. She loved the way he touched her, applying pressure in all the right places. She loved everything about what he was doing to her. Sirius had choreographed them this way, but it was still amazing.

"Ahh!"

She jumped – as much as she could jump with his weight on her – as he bit down, startling her from her thoughts.

"Don't do that," he said, licking the spot, soothing away any traces of pain.

"What?" she replied sharply. He was telling her off? He'd just bitten her!

He lifted his head to look her in the eye. "Don't act like anything's a surprise," he said, sounding very much like Sirius giving his directions. "Everything's supposed to be familiar, like we've done in a hundred times already."

She stared back at him, wondering if he knew just how much he'd gone and ruined everything. Any traces of tingles quickly dissipated form her body. Was she an idiot for enjoying this? Because he obviously wasn't. His mind was very clearly on the forty galleons he had stashed in his dorm while Lily had almost forgotten about the deal completely, letting him kiss her just for the simple reason that it felt good.

"Well don't try something new without telling me first," she replied irritably. "And don't you dare leave marks on me; I'm not having to explain that to John."

"Fine," he replied coolly. He returned to kissing her neck, his hands groping around her thighs and bottom, but suddenly Lily got no pleasure from it. She lay still, staring at the ceiling while he went about fixing his technique. It only took him about a minute to realise something was wrong. "What happened to all those lovely noises?" he asked between kisses.

"Fresh out," she muttered dully.

"Already?"

"Well this is all very routine, isn't it," she replied, scathingly. "It's not like we do this for kicks."

"Maybe we need to turn it up a notch for you," he replied impishly, his hands skating further down her legs. She wondered what he was doing, because that didn't feel particularly pleasurable at all, but then she realised he was no longer skimming her robes, and his hands were moving back up, against her bare skin.

"James," she panicked, trying to shrug him off. "I haven't – I haven't shaved in a while, don't, um-"

He merely sniggered, continuing up her body, past her hips, along her sides, dragging the hem of her robes up with them. Again she panicked at the idea of him seeing her underwear, but he did not look, continuing to kiss and lick and suck on her neck as he had done the entire time. The robes remained bunched around her middle as he repeated his usual hand pattern – hips, waist, breasts, waist, bottom – but this time it was against her bare skin and her bra and her knickers. The sensations were completely different.

"I hope you don't intend to do that at the party," she panted, finding it difficult to remain aloof as those tingles returned.

"Of course not," he chuckled against her skin and she gave in, releasing a long needed moan as his hands did that wonderful thing with her breasts. This time she could feel his skin against hers – his hands, coarse but hot, creating goosebumps everywhere. "It's important we stick to routine or things could go messy."

Damn him. How could he be so detached when she was so close to losing her mind? The image of the couple in the alcove sprung to mind. That girl, she had known what to do to make a boy turn to jelly. Well Lily could do it too, couldn't she? She would make him enjoy himself.

Her hands had been planted firmly on his shoulders from the moment she had tried to push him away, and slowly, not wanting to startle him, she let them roam down his back, dragging her nails. He shivered slightly and kissed her more fervently, moving to her collarbone. She smirked to herself – this wasn't so hard. As her hands reached his buttocks, she took her left and guided it carefully around his hip. Her heart was beating faster as she moved toward her goal, hardly believing what she was about to do. It was exciting and scary because she'd never done anything like this before and wasn't really sure what she was supposed to do, but she just wanted to hear him groan, just once.

"Fuck!"

Lily almost squealed in shock as swore loudly, leaping away from her and falling backward off the bed, landing on his arse on the floor. She sat up quickly but he backed away from her, stumbling as he tried to hurry to his feet. His hands flew to his crotch where she knew – had felt - his robes were tented and his face burnt a deep red. He was breathing harshly, looking at her with what Lily could only describe as disgust.

"What the devil are you playing at?" he barked.

Lily was speechless. This was very far from the reaction she'd had in mind. She was suddenly very aware of the robes around her hips and hurried to pull them down. "I – I don't know."

"Like hell you don't know," he spat. He looked positively livid. Lily watched in alarm as he marched to the bed, pulling back the duvet with one hand and fishing his glasses from under the blankets. They were bent out of shape as she had imagined but it was anything but funny this time as he snatched them up, shoving them roughly into his pocket, grabbed his shoes from the floor and stomped toward the door.

"James, wait," Lily managed to spit out. She didn't understand why he was so angry. "What's wrong?"

He turned back to her for a moment, still glaring at her with contempt. "You wonder why those boys said things about you," he sneered. And with that he stormed from the room.