Sawyer tossed the calculator aside and looked at her receipts in front of her. She was trying really hard to check everything over but her mind was somewhere else. She looked up when Sam slid in the booth across from her. He had been trying for two weeks to talk to her but she always avoided him. She was just too tired today to fight him though and decided she might as well get the talk over with. She looked at him and smiled.
"Something is wrong, and has been wrong since you spent time with Eric. I won't pry but... I want to help. Sookie told me you were pregnant and I know-," Sam started.
"Sam, just stop. I... I don't want to talk about me being pregnant and I really, REALLY, don't want to talk about that pain in the ass vampire," Sawyer answered going back to the receipts.
"Huh, I think you like him."
"Sam."
"No, you do. I can see it in your eyes. Question is, if you like him why are you avoiding him?"
Sam watched as Sawyer shook her head and push the receipts aside. He watched her and didn't want to admit it but he was starting to care about her. He wanted to help her anyway he could. He had tried talking to Sookie about what he could do but Sookie had her mind on something else; which Sam thought was probably about Bill anyway.
"Have you ever... Have you ever wanted someone but they don't want you back?" Sawyer asked softly.
"Yes, I have," Sam answered.
"Then you know how I feel. Except it's worse because he is a vampire and... He is everything that I can never have."
"Sawyer, honey, he's dead. What's so great about that?"
Sawyer looked at Sam and started laughing. She just couldn't stop herself. She realized that Sam had a point. She should just move on past Eric. After all, it wasn't like he was so great anyway. And there really hadn't been any signs on his part that he wanted her. Except for the shower but maybe he had been checking on her. She didn't really believe that but she just needed to believe something to help her get past it.
"You being up a good point, he is dead. Which would make that necrophilia, right?" she asked.
"I think so. We really shouldn't mention that to Sookie."
"No, we shouldn't. I don't think she would get it."
"Probably not. So... Is there anything you need?"
"You to do these receipts for me. I have... I have a doctor's appointment."
"I can do that. Anything else?"
"That's it for now. Sam, thanks for asking though."
"No problem. You aren't alone here, Sawyer. You got people here who care about you."
"I don't," Tara called over.
"Love you too, Tara!" Sawyer called laughing as Tara gave her the finger. She grabbed her things and looked at Sam. She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks."
"Welcome."
Sam watched as Sawyer left her purple sundress moving around her knees as she pushed the door open and left. He turned and saw Tara and Lafayette watching him. He grabbed the receipts and walked over to the bar.
"Get back to work," he said.
"She gots it hard for Eric," Lafayette said.
"Stupid bitch. I thought Bill was bad but Eric is worse," Tara said.
"Hey, now maybe... Maybe she saw a side of him we didn't," Sam said.
"Yeah, sure. I'll believe that when cows fly," Tara said.
Sam just shook his head and walked to the back to his office. He thought about Sawyer and how she had opened up a little bit to him. He sat at his desk and sighed. He thought of her like the little sister he had never had. She was pretty and was funny; any man would be lucky to have her. He just wanted to make sure she ended up with someone who would love her and not Eric. He didn't think that that vampire knew the meaning of love.
Sawyer sat in the cafe reading the pamphlets the doctor had given her. She closed her eyes and let a tear fall. She closed the pamphlet and shoved it in her bag. She didn't know what to do. Abortion seemed like the easy way out but she wasn't sure that she could do it. It would go against everything she believed in. But she wasn't sure that she could carry these babies to term and give them up for adoption. She knew she couldn't keep them. She was screwed up and there was no way that her children needed that. They deserved better then she had gotten. She wiped away her tears and looked out the window. The sun had set and she sighed. She knew this was her chance to head over to Fangtasia and give back Eric's clothing. She didn't want to but it seemed like the right thing to do. After all, if she didn't have the clothes with her then she couldn't wear them to bed every night like she had been.
She smiled as the waitress placed another cup of coffee in front of her. Sawyer sipped it and moaned as her cell phone rang. She dug in her bag and pulled it out. She answered it.
"Yeah?"
"I won't be home tonight. I am spending the night with Bill," Sookie said.
"Sounds like fun. What are you going to do with Jessica? Lock her in the cellar?"
"Haha, no she is with Hoyt."
"Ooo, love is in the air."
"I guess it is. What are your plans?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'll finally take Jason up on his offer and find a little love myself."
"That's not love, that's insanity."
"Yeah, you're right."
"I'll see you tomorrow."
"Have fun, Sook."
Sawyer hung up and finished the coffee. She tossed money on the table and grabbed her bag. She might as well head over to the club. If she didn't now she would lose her nerve.
Pam stood outside watching as the first customers arrived. She smelled the air and stopped. She turned her head and saw Sawyer walking towards the doors. Oh, this would be fun. Especially since Eric was busy with the new dancer, Yvetta. Pam smiled when Sawyer came to the doors.
"Hello, there. I didn't think I would be seeing you again," Pam said.
"Neither did I. Is Eric around?" Sawyer said looking at Pam's tight leather dress with the corseted bodice. Sawyer liked it. She smiled when she saw Pam's pink spiked heels. Yeah, it was kind of weird to see a vampire love the colour pink so much.
"He is. He's downstairs. I'm sure you know the way," Pam said sweetly.
"I do."
Sawyer walked into the club and felt very under dressed. She looked around and saw about a dozen vampires. She went straight to the Employees Only door and pulled it open. She went down the hall to the stairs at the end. She opened the door and walked down the stairs. She turned and stopped dead at the sigh in front of her.
Eric stopped thrusting into Yvetta when he smelt vanilla in the room. He dropped Yvetta on the cold floor not caring about her and turned around. There stood Sawyer in the most beautiful purple strapless sundress. The look on her face though was pure pain. Eric knew all about pain; he had been infecting it on people for over a thousand years. He had never wanted to hurt her though.
"Vacker," he said walking towards her.
"I... I'm sorry I interrupted you. Please, do carry on fucking that piece of trash," Sawyer said turning and jogging up the stairs.
"This is not good," Eric muttered pulling on his black jeans and grabbing his track jacket. He slipped on his flip flops and was up the stairs and down the hall in seconds. He grabbed Sawyer's arm before she could cross the club.
"Let go of me!" she yelled.
"Problems with your human?" one of the other vampires laughed.
"I am not his human anymore then he is my vampire. Right, Eric? That was made clear tonight!"
Sawyer dug in her bag and pulled out his clothes. She tossed them at him not caring that they had an audience. She felt tears rolling down her cheeks but she didn't care anymore. She was done with everything. She looked at Eric his pale eyes looking into hers. Like always they were void of emotion. She shook her head.
"Sawyer, now is not the place-," he started.
"Oh it is the perfect place! I care about you, you selfish jerk! Hell, I even wanted you, I still want you but this, her, I just... I should have known that vampires couldn't feel love," she said.
"We feel love. Let me show you," another vampire said causing them all to laugh.
"SILENCE!" Eric yelled. Everyone shut up and looked at him. He kept his eyes on Sawyer though. He could feel her pain like it was his own. He took a step towards Sawyer but she stepped away. She shook her head.
"Why couldn't you want me like I wanted you?" she whispered softly but Eric heard it. She then turned and walked to the door. Eric heard all the bottles behind the bar break and smash and knew it was Sawyer's doing. He watched her leave the club. He turned and looked around at all the vampires.
"Get out," he said. When none of them moved he got angry and grabbed a chair. He threw it across the room, "I said GET OUT!" he yelled.
Slowly they all left the club. Pam walked in after them and just stood there waiting for him to say something. He looked up at her.
"Why did you not come tell me that Sawyer was here?" he demanded.
"Because she is a human, Eric. It was time she saw you for what you are," Pam explained.
"What if I am not what I use to be?"
"I know losing Godric-."
"Do not speak of things you do not know!"
Pam watched as Eric left the club. She knew that he was going after Sawyer. She sighed and walked over to the bar and started looking though everything. She grabbed a bottle of Tru Blood and placed it in the microwave. It was moments like this that she wished that she was still able to drink alcohol. She took the drink out when the microwave beeped. She took a long gulp and looked around the club.
"I am not cleaning this up," she said walking to the back leaving the mess for someone else.
Sawyer pulled over to the side of the road. She needed to stop because she was crying too much. She slammed her hands on her steering wheel and sobbed. She had never felt so broken and alone in her life. She rested her arms on the steering wheel and rested her forehead against them. She let her hair fall around her face and cried. She tried not to think about Eric and that woman together having sex but she couldn't stop herself. She jumped when the driver's door opened. She turned and saw Eric standing there. He grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the car.
"Let go of me you son of a-," she started.
Eric kissed her. He leaned her against the car and kissed her hard and deep. He ran a hand down her side feeling her curve against him. He let his tongue roam her mouth loving the taste of her. He felt her hands grip the side of his jacket. Suddenly he was shoved away and standing across the road from her. He looked at her and saw tears in her eyes.
"Don't play with me anymore. I am done with all of this," she said turning to climb in the car.
Eric was at her in side in half a second, "How could you think that I did not want you?" he demanded.
"What was I supposed to think? I was there in your shower naked and you just walked away! And then I find you banging some two bit whore, and... Two weeks!"
"What?"
"Two weeks, Blondie! If you really wanted me like you claimed, why the hell didn't you show up and take me?"
"Because, I wanted you to want me as much as I wanted you."
Sawyer turned and faced him again. She looked at him tears rolling down her cheeks. She started sobbing again. She leaned against the car and hugged herself. She then felt Eric pull her closer to him. She felt his arms wrap around her slowly and she knew that he wasn't sure about what he was doing. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close to her as she cried in his chest. She felt him run his fingers though her hair.
"What are we doing, Eric? I am pregnant and... My life is falling apart around me, what the fuck are we doing here?" she asked closing her eyes.
"Whatever we want. I want... Here with me, I want you to be free of everything else in your life," Eric told her.
"That's not what I need. I need..."
"What?"
Eric let go of Sawyer when she pulled away. She ran over around the car and he heard her throwing up. He went around and kneeled beside her. He pulled her hair out of her face and rubbed her back as she threw up again. He reached in his pocket looking for something she could use to wipe her mouth. He didn't find anything. He pulled her in his arms when she was finished.
"I will drive you home," he said softly opening the passenger door for her.
"I'm sorry I-," Sawyer stared looking at him.
"Shh, it is not your fault."
Sawyer climbed in the car and nodded. Eric slammed the door closed. She opened the glove compartment and found some napkins. She wiped her mouth then turned to look as Eric crammed his six foot four frame into the driver's seat. She laughed a little causing him to turn and look at her.
"And what is so funny?" he asked.
"You in my car, I... Yeah, it is hilarious. You driving a beat up Pontiac."
"It has seen better days, hasn't it?"
"That, Eric is an understatement."
Eric was glad that Sawyer was smiling. He started her car and pulled away from the side of the road. He drove down the road. He turned and saw Sawyer resting her head against the seat as she closed her eyes and tried to sleep. He hoped that she would get some sleep; she looked like she could use it.
Eric carried Sawyer up the stairs slowly. He walked down the hall to her room. He stopped when Sawyer sighed. He looked down at her and saw that she had her head resting on his shoulder. She had one arm wrapped around his neck and she seemed content. He started walking again and carried her into her room. He gently laid her on the bed and covered her up with a throw blanket. He got up and quickly went back to the car to get her bag. He raced back up to her room wanting to spend the rest of the night with her. He tossed her bag in the corner and a bunch of papers fell out when it landed. Eric would have left it but he didn't want Sawyer to think he had been going though her things. He went over and started to place the things back in her purse. He stopped when he saw one of the pamphlets was about abortion. He looked at it then looked at Sawyer sleeping on the bed. Suddenly it came to together for him. She had been trying to tell him she needed someone she could talk to about how she was feeling.
He placed the pamphlet in his pocket to read later on and got up. He walked over to the bed. He kicked off his flip flops and climbed in bed beside her. He wrapped an arm around her waist and waited for her to pull away. Instead she snuggled closer to him. He held her close to him. He leaned down and nuzzled his face against her neck. He could feel her blood pumping though the vein against his cheek but he was not going to drink from her yet. He would wait for that. She was already angry at him enough as it was, he did not to add to it. He smirked though. He did love her anger though; she had a fiery spark in her that he couldn't wait to explore more. He hadn't been lying to Pam earlier; every moment he spent with Sawyer he felt himself changing. He wondered if Godric had been there what he would have thought of Sawyer. He liked to think that his maker would have approved of his choice.
"Eric," Sawyer moaned rolling over.
"I am here," he told her letting her rest her head on his chest.
"Keep them away," she muttered half asleep.
"Keep what away?" he asked stroking her hair.
"The nightmares."
"I will work my magic."
Sawyer nodded. She wrapped an arm around Eric and held him tight. She was still angry and confused as hell but in that moment she needed to hold on to someone. She felt herself drift deeper into sleep while Eric sang to her softly in Swedish. She wondered why he had climbed into bed and was staying with her; it just didn't seem like his style. She fell asleep that thought still on her mind.