Sawyer walked into the house and slammed the door behind her. She could feel the dried tears on her cheeks and she was shaking. She walked to the stairs and tossed her bag in the corner and then pulled off her jacket. She walked up the stairs slowly trying to erase the image of Eric holding her brother's head in his hand. She felt more tears form and she let a sob out. She walked down the hall and towards the bedroom she had shared with Eric. She stopped at the doorway and just stood there.
She looked at the messy bed that she hadn't made before leaving. Her eyes focused on how close her and Eric's pillows were. There was not room between them with her pillow even overlapping his. Eric and her slept intertwined in each others' arms. And now when she wanted to think about his arms around her and the feel of his lips on her skin all she could picture was him holding her brother's head in his hand. She ran passed the bedroom and into the washroom. She fell to her knees in front of the toilet and threw up. She gagged and chocked empting her stomach. She wished that she could purge the images in her head just as easily as she had emptied her stomach.
Eric closed his eyes and felt the ache from Sawyer. She was in deep pain and as much as he wanted to rush to her side, he knew that the last person she needed to see was him. He opened his eyes and turned his head when the door to his office slammed shut. He sighed when he saw Sookie, Pam and Jessica all standing in his office. He muttered in Swedish about how he didn't need this crap and had to duck a heeled boot that Pam sent flying at his head. He turned and saw it embedded in the wall behind him. He turned back and looked at the three women.
"Don't you all have a party to plan?" he asked looking down at the non existence paper work on his desk.
"You are not going to just brush this under the rug, Eric Northman," Sookie stated firmly.
"Incase you haven't noticed, Miss Stackhouse, there is no rug in this office," he answered giving her that smirk that she hated so much.
"Eric, this is no time for smart talk. I told you this would fall apart, didn't I?" Pam demanded sitting in the chair in front of his desk crossing her legs and arms. Eric looked down and saw her stocking foot bouncing up and down. He leaned back in his chair and sighed.
"Yes, you did. And now that it has can you all please leave me alone to my personal hell?"
"Should have let me kill him," Jessica said leaning against the wall and crossing her arms. She looked up and saw Eric, Pam and Sookie staring at her in disbelief. She looked back at them, "What? If you would have let me kill him then this wouldn't be happening."
"Newborn has a point," Pam added.
"Will you quit calling me a newborn!"
"Will you two knock it off. We need to be talking about Sawyer right now," Sookie stated glaring at Eric.
"Sawyer is no concern of yours. I have everything under control," Eric said looking at the human and really wishing that Bill would keep a tighter leash on her. She was getting on his nerves and if he wasn't already in so much trouble with Sawyer, he would have given in to his ideas of eating the petite blonde.
"You do not have everything under control. Sawyer is not here and you killed her brother in front of her! You are far from having everything under control. I knew that I shouldn't have let you back in her life. I knew that you would fuck it all up and hurt her."
"Excuse me?"
Pam rolled her eyes as Eric got up and stalked over to Sookie. He grabbed her by the shoulders and tossed her against the wall. Pam turned and looked at Jessica. Jessica looked at Eric in shock but didn't make a move to stop him. Pam was relieved because when Eric got into a mood like he was now the best thing to do was let him have his say and then walk away. She hoped that Sookie would do just that because the last thing she wanted was to bury another body that night.
"And what makes you think that you have a say in what goes on in Sawyer's life? What makes you think that she cares what you or anyone else thinks of me? You cannot control who she chooses to love and you never will. You will never be able to keep me away from her," he told Sookie coldly pinning her against the wall with his body.
"Maybe I can't but you should be less selfish and realize what you are doing to her. Do you even care that she is hurting inside because of you? Can you even understand that kind of pain or are you so cold and heartless that you are just going to ignore how she feels and force her to be with you?" Sookie shouted in Eric's face. She was not going to back down. She considered Sawyer part of the large family she had built around herself and she was not going to let Eric think that he could just bully her into walking away and letting him have Sawyer. Sookie was not going away and there was nothing he could do about it.
Eric looked at Sookie and was mildly shocked that she dared say those things to him. Then again he knew that Sookie always said what she was thinking and he should not be surprised that she thought so little of him. He backed away when he heard a growl echo in the office. He turned and saw Bill standing in the doorway. Eric turned towards him and pointed at Sookie.
"William, get your human out of here before I do the world a favour and rid it of her," he stated his voice soft and dangerous.
"I am not leaving because I am not-," Sookie started.
"Sookie, let's go," Bill interrupted her.
"Bill, how dare-."
"Oh please, get out of here. You two are getting on my last nerve," Pam said seeing how tense and angry Eric was. She knew if Bill and Sookie stayed any longer that she wouldn't be able to stop her maker from tearing the little human into a million tiny pieces.
Eric watched as Jessica grabbed Sookie's arm and pulled her out of the room. Bill stood in the doorway and glared at him a moment longer before turning and leaving slamming the door behind him. Eric could hear Sookie cursing as she left. He turned and looked at Pam and saw her just watching him. He raked his hands though his hair and shook his head. He knew what she was thinking without her even saying a word.
"You think she is right," he muttered in Swedish.
"I think you sometimes forget that Sawyer is human and that she feels," Pam said.
"I do not forget that she feels, Pam. I know she feels. For the first time in a thousand years, there is someone who feels love for me."
"I love you, you idiot."
Eric smirked, "I know you do but you have no choice, I am your maker."
Pam rolled her eyes, "And Sawyer is your human."
"She is more than that, Pam. She," Eric paused and looked at the wall. He didn't know how to describe what he felt for Sawyer and how much he wanted and needed her with him. She had awakened some part of him that he had thought died with his human life. He thought that his soul had died when he had taken his last breath but being with Sawyer was showing him that it hadn't. He loved her and felt as strongly as he did when he had been alive; if not more. He walked over to his desk and leaned against it looking at Pam. He did not know who to explain to Pam, who had never loved, how he felt. "She is my other half and I do not wish to lose that," he finished.
"Then why are you still here speaking to me when you should be with her?" Pam asked softly.
Eric looked at her and smiled. He was there one moment and then gone the next. He knew she was right. As much as Sawyer may not want to see him he knew that she needed him.
Sawyer brushed her hair and looked at herself in the mirror. She sighed again and tried not to start to cry again. She placed her brush down on the vanity table and turned. She stared in the corner where Eric was standing. She had known that he would show up. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was a couple of hours before dawn. She turned back and looked at Eric tears in her eyes. She didn't want to deal with him at the moment but at the same time all she wanted was him to hold her.
"If you want me to leave, I will," he told her softly.
"I doubt that. You'd just dig a hole in the ground right outside the door and spend the day there," she snorted.
Eric took a couple of steps towards her but stopped when he saw her hug herself, "I never wanted to hurt you," he told her wishing that her eyes wouldn't be filled with pain and hurt when she looked at him.
"You never do, Eric but it always happened. I wish you'd stop trying to protect me all the time."
"I can't. I protect you because I love you and I will never stop loving you."
Eric watched as she wiped her tears away and didn't say anything. She got up from her stool and walked over to the bed and started arranging her pillows. He stood there watching her waiting for her to order him away from her. She climbed in bed and he looked at her rounded stomach and felt his unbeating heart ache. He wanted to fix things with her because he wanted to be a part of their children's lives. He would not be content to sit back and watch them from a far. He was getting the chance at having something he had decided the moment his human side had died long ago was not his to have and he was not going to let it slip away. He stood in the dark when Sawyer clicked off the light and he heard her laid down in the bed. He waited.
"Are you going to stand there all day?" she whispered Eric hearing every ounce of pain in her voice.
"You wish for me to join you?" Eric asked softly already pulling off his clothes.
Sawyer sighed, "Yes. I am pissed and broken but," she paused and wiped her tears, "I know you are the only person who can make this hurt go away. Even if you are the cause of it."
"I would leave if you asked me to."
"I am not going to ask you so get in this bed."
Sawyer laid there a waited. She heard the zipper on Eric's jeans and then them hitting the floor. A moment later the bed dipped under his weight and she felt his arm come around her. She kept her back towards him but gently took his hand linking their fingers together. She felt his lips on her neck and wished that she could hate him for what he had done. He had killed her brother after holding him hostage and torturing him. She should have hated him and flinched away from his touch. Instead she was cuddled close to him and holding on tight to him wanting him to comfort her. More tears rolled down her cheeks as she wondered if she was a horrible person.
"Min karlek, it was never your fault and you are not to blame," Eric whispered in her ear knowing what she was thinking. He knew her so well and knew that she would blame herself for Finn's death. He was not going to allow her to do that though. He would take the blame and her hate if he had to. He was use to being labelled the evil heartless one. He could handle it.
"I told you to kill him, Eric, that is all on me."
"Do not think of this now. Just stop and rest. Our children need you to rest."
Sawyer nodded and felt Eric's cool lips on her neck again. She closed her eyes and smiled when he hummed to her and softly began to sing an old Viking hymn to her. She didn't understand the words and was almost positive that it was a drinking song but she didn't care. Eric was slowly showing her parts of his past and she would take anything she could, taking any little bit he showed her. She drifted off to sleep his soft voice echoing in her ear and reminding her of all the qualities that made her love him with everything she was.