A/N: Sorry about the late update, I had an unexpectedly extended holiday, for those who read my other SQ fic I will be writing the next chapter as soon as I can be sure no one will interrupt me. As for this I only planned the first few paragraphs, after that the story kinda took me by surprise so feedback would be appreciated X

Regina re-entered her bedchambers to see Emma roll purposefully over, her back facing the Queen in an obvious attempt to feint sleep. But Regina knew that Emma was awake. She made her way to her own bed with the beginnings of a plan formulating in her mind.
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Emma was woken in the middle of the night by Regina's soft sobs and whimpers of terror. She immediately knew that these were the noises that were induced by the Queens nightmares and although she would much rather keep her distance from the Queen she knew it was her duty as Sentinel to aid her Queen, and so she did.

"Regina." Emma murmured as she walked around the large bed so that she was facing the slumbering queen whose face was scrunched in a look of fear. Emma reached out a hand to gently stroke Regina's hair as she crouched on the floor next to the bed. Regina didn't tense at the contact like she usually did at first but she didn't give this much thought.

"It's ok, everything's fine. No ones going to hurt you." Emma repeated this mantra in a soft murmur, it was usually enough to calm the queen but this time it didn't. The only other times that this hadn't been enough had resulted in Emma crawling into bed with the Queen and holding her comfortingly for a few hours. Emma hesitated but once again her sense of duty was there. She wanted to rouse the queen but knew that it could be dangerous to wake someone in a nightmare and so she entered the queens bed and gingerly placed an arm over the queen, pulling her as close as Emma could stand. The fingers of her spare hand gently played in the queens' loose hair. The queens breathing slowed a little.

Just as Emma believed she could return to her own bed the queen grabbed her hand, holding her in place and moving so her body was flushed with the princesses. Her legs tangled with Emma's and Emma found herself unable to leave the queens bed. Each time she tried to withdraw her hand Regina gripped tighter, whenever she moved her body away the queen would either whimper or move back against her, so Emma stayed.

Both woke up after a peaceful rest. Regina was the first to rise and she smiled at the warm glow inside her, not because of Emma, no it couldn't be that, but because her plan had worked and because the queen was, maybe not fond and perhaps enjoy was too strong a word, but she revelled in human contact.

Regina rolled over in Emma's easy embrace so that she was facing the princess as Emma wearily blinked open her eyes, still caught in a pleasant and surprisingly innocent dream of Regina. That look soon turned to panic as her brain kicked in and she realised she was staring into the eyes of her queen, the woman who less than a day ago she had confessed having feelings for.

Emma made to move out of Regina's bed but as soon as she had moved a single muscle the queen whispered in her ear. "Stay." Regina rested her head in the crook of Emma's neck, Emma momentarily tensed and then relaxed, enjoying having the woman that she had such intense feelings for lying so close to her.

Regina pulled away slightly and moved her head towards Emma, her intent was clear and Emma backed away from her.

"No."

"What's the matter dear? I know you want this." Regina replied seductively.

"Not like this. I've made the mistake of sleeping with someone who didn't care for me before, I won't do it again."

"But I do care for you Emma. Let me take care of you." Again the seduction and innuendo was clear. Emma stood and looked down at the queen.

"That's what he said. You don't care about me not in the way I want you to, the way I need you to. And I won't let you drag me in."

Regina recognised the clear answer Emma was giving her and she respected her enough not to continue pushing, at least for now. She knew what it was like to be forced into something. Even when the King hadn't forced her, like their wedding night, he had tricked her into it and she regretted it as soon as it finished, or more frequently as soon as it started, but by then it was too late. She refused to subject another to what she had been through.

"What happened?"

Emma didn't know why but she felt that she could tell Regina anything, everything.

"I was trying to prove a point to everyone, but mainly to myself. He was a bit goofy and awkward and had his own issues but he was kind. He told me he loved me and I believed him and in turn convinced myself that I loved him, that I had to love him. In the white Kingdom it true love is a big thing." Emma sat down on her bed, they both looked at each other, Regina silently willing to go on, she was intrigued by the other woman and wanted to know everything about her. "It doesn't matter about the gender of those in love" Emma's voice turned bitter "except if you're heir to the throne. I had to love a guy; there was no way out of it because the White throne needed an heir. I couldn't be into women so I convinced myself that Baelfire was my one."

"Baelfire?! As in Rumplestiltskin's son?" Regina exclaimed incredulously.

"Yes. But he left; he's no longer in this world. He left me and…" Emma broke eye contact and looked nervously at the floor. Regina's expression softened as did her tone.

"And what Emma?"

"You know you said that my parents were desperate to get me back because I'm the only heir to the White throne? Well technically that isn't true, although I don't know if my parents are aware of it. Baelfire left before I found out I was pregnant." Emma paused momentarily to let the news sink in but when Regina did not interrupt she continued. "Of course my parents hushed it up; it was unseemly for me to have a bastard child. I was hidden away in a far corner of the kingdom with Johanna; she was my midwife as she was my mothers. Everyone was told I was heartbroken, everyone knew about Baelfire. I had a lot of time to think whilst in the cabin. I realised that I didn't love Baelfire, I hated him for what he had done to me, he hadn't loved me, he'd abandoned me. I knew I couldn't be who my parents wanted me to be, even more than before. I already knew I wanted to be a knight but that wasn't enough to warrant abandoning my kingdom. I would have an heir and therefore it wouldn't matter that I wasn't interested in guys. Sure there may have been some friction over the fact that my child was born out of wedlock but he would be their only option."

"He? You have a son?" Regina asked gently, more than a little jealous of Emma; she had always wanted a child, a family. "Where is he now?"

"I had an argument with my father, he told me I could not keep my child and arranged new parents for him. I didn't know who they were but I was assured he would be looked after well, that it would be better for him. I was only eighteen and knew nothing of parenting. My parents said they would cast me out, disown me, if I kept my child. They made it impossible for me to keep him. I'd given him up before he was born, I was just carrying him. I told my parents that he was the only heir they were getting because I'm a lesbian but they refused to listen and told me that I couldn't be, that I'd find a man, the worse part is is that they forced me to believe that for a while. I hated lying to myself.

Anyway when the child was born he was taken away, but I believe Johanna told my parents he was a stillborn because it would be easier for their pride than knowing their grandchild was out there somewhere."

"Do you miss him?"

"Not really. Sometimes I do but I never really knew him, I didn't even get to hold him, I saw him in Johanna's arms. I know that he is a boy and that he was born healthy but that is all I know. He was taken away so quickly and I had to pretend for months that I wasn't pregnant until it began to show and I was moved. I kinda brainwashed myself into thinking that he had nothing to do with me, he'd just been a parasite inside of me. I know that's horrible but it's the only way I can keep sane."

"Do you want me to find him?"

"I don't know his name, what he looks like, where he is, anything. I don't even know if he's still alive."

"There's the Ogre tournament next year, win that and you can make your parents tell you where he is."

"I was planning on entering anyway, to prove myself, but it will do no good asking. He's probably better off where he is."

"Even if I can provide for the both of you?"

"The legendary Evil Queen and the undercover princess who at any moment may be discovered and forced back to her kingdom? Somehow I think the kid wouldn't cope with that."

"Perhaps you are right. And who knows, maybe he'll search you out."

Emma snorted her amused disbelief.