~Chapter Two~

Steve and the Handy Dandy Notebook

You're getting closer to pushing me
Off of life's little edge…
'Cause I'm a loser.
And sooner or later,
You know I'll be dead.

This is getting old.

~Loser, by 3 Doors Down

Disclaimer: Me No Own; You No Sue.

Oh, dear God. I thought to myself, horrified. This…is my new high school?

It's official: my life sucks.

Sammy's P.O.V.

Footsteps echoed lightly in the silence of early morning. The door to my left opened and I numbly climbed out of the limo. RJ grinned cheekily at my obvious horror, black eyes glinting in amusement. With a quick mock-salute, he reentered the car and drove away. Shaking my head at him, I waved at the chauffer. In response, he honked the horn. And quite loudly.

"Well, that was quite rude…"

I cocked my head to the side and gazed at the interloper with one eyebrow raised. A tall young man with black hair adjusted his glasses. He smirked, obviously awaiting my response – and one of agreement at that!

I bristled slightly before a small voice in the back of my head reminded me that I was no longer in America. The people of Japan had different customs, many that I was unfamiliar with. This, however, was merely a pompous teenager running around with his daddy's credit card and judging my behavior. Now that was certainly not a new custom.

In the end, I decided to shrug it off. Literally.

"Why should that man be forced to bow to me? RJ's like family; family members don't bow to one another. And it's not like I'm royalty or anything remotely similar," I said, waving my hand in a dismissive manner.

Mr. Glasses smirked. "Ah, that would explain it. You must be American."

"Ah, that would explain it," I mimicked his haughty tone. "You must be Japanese." And an asshole.

His eyes – a steely gray that reminded me of storms – rolled heavenward. "How childish."

"How annoying," I mimicked.

And (bonus!) this time I copied his expression, as well – right down to the little quirk of his eyebrow. If this was an anime, he'd totally be wearing those little, red anger marks! Can you say…PWNED!

He immediately interrupted my daydreaming. "I assume that you are Miss Samantha Steel?" Mr. Glasses asked with an aggravated sigh. It appeared that my guide was rather…mean.

"You assume correctly, Mister Glasses," I quipped, before internally panicking. Oops…did I say that out loud?

"…Mister…Glasses…?"

Shit…I DID say that out loud!

Ignoring my inner turmoil, I nodded solemnly. "It is your name." I said this as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"No, it most certainly is not," he argued – somewhat heatedly, might I add. He was quite touchy, this one. "My name is Kyouya Ootori."

"Don't you mean Ootori, Kyouya?" I asked innocently, batting my eyelashes at him and trying to hide my growing smirk.

He tilted his head up slightly. I swear that I just saw him clench his teeth in anger, but a flash of sunlight bounced off of his glasses, glaring into my face and temporarily blinding me, so I might be mistaken. I rubbed my eyes to clear them of stars.

And, based on his reaction, I would say that…

I DID NOT SUCCEED IN HIDING MY SADISTIC SMIRK! OMG! I'm such a FAILURE!

"You are correct. I merely made the assumption that you knew little of the Japanese culture," Kyouya said airily, bowing his head in my general direction. It was made in what I assume was meant to be an apologetic gesture but what really came across as an 'I am sorry, you are an idiot' gesture.

My eyes narrowed in anger. "You made the mistaken assumption and I can assure you that I am anything but an ignorant foreigner."

At this response, Kyouya smirked. "Is that so? Hmm… Yes, it shall be duly noted."

Honestly, I thought he was joking, but the idiot actually pulled a notebook out of his uniform jacket. My jaw dropped open a bit in shock as he casually removed a pen from his jacket pocket and began writing in the…little…black…notebook…

Well. That's weird.

The wheels in my head began turning at an even faster rate (I hope I don't kill the hamster…). One might ask me, "Why?" Well, my dear friend, it was because a distant memory from my early childhood had decided to rear its ugly head. I was currently remembering the likes of Steve, with his green and striped (read: UGLY!) shirt. And his sidekick, Blue – the little dog that obviously fell into a can of paint shortly after her birth.

What? So I watched Blue's Clues as a child. Everyone did!

…don't judge me.

"As amusing as it is to watch your facial expressions change, I must advise you to hurry your thought process along. School hours are beginning and I must escort you to the main office, as well as your first class, before I can tend to my own education," Kyouya drawled. He bowed slightly, yet again in a mocking manner, and gestured to the building.

If he's going to be an ass, then so am I! And I will take the role of SMART ass, thank you very much.

Painting a bitchy smile on my face, I said, "Well, Steve, let's get this party started!" I pumped my fist in the air with a small cheer. "Banzai!"

Kyouya offered a blank stare, most likely due to the employment of yet another nickname, before he turned and quickly entered the school. My legs began to move on their own accord and I found myself following him, practically jogging to keep up with his long legs.

Does that make me Blue? I mused. My lips twitched and I had to work hard to suppress the urge to voice the following thought – I'm BLUE da ba dee da ba die!

We arrived at the entrance and the door opened for me; I hadn't even had to speak the magical words: "Open, Says Me!" So it should come as no surprise that I blinked stupidly at said door. My eyes slowly focused on the large hand that was gripping the doorknob. Oh, well that makes much more sense. You see, Steve was smiling and actually holding the door open for me. Like…a gentleman.

"After you, Miss Steel," Kyouya said in a voice as smooth and rich as velvet.

I narrowed my eyes at him. I may not be the brightest crayon in the box at times, but I was certain that the smile gracing his lips was an imposter. Fake. Obviously…he wanted something from me….

Steve seemed to sense my hesitation. "Come along. I don't bite."

If I had been a wolf, my hackles would have risen and I might have growled. But alas, I am not. So, little human that I am, I just shouldered past the jerk. So intent was I upon leaving him in the dust that I almost missed his muttered – "…much." I shuddered and busied myself in searching for a distraction.

Found one ~!

Two secretaries were busily typing on their respective keyboards. I hesitated; I hated interrupting people that were working. It just seemed so…rude. But I needn't have worried, because a phone rang in the distance and the elderly secretary went to answer it. The younger one, having been alerted to my presence, smiled politely at me.

"You must be the new foreign student!"

I merely blinked at her in response. Is it really possible for her to be that happy this early in the morning? My eyes wandered over to the coffee cup clasped between her delicate hands. Must be the caffeine!

The secretary seemed to take my silence as a bad sign. "Do…do you not speak Japanese?" she asked in tentative English.

Shaking myself form my musings, I smiled warmly and (in Japanese) replied, "No, I'm quite fluent in Japanese. No worries."

"Thank goodness!" The secretary sighed in relief. "Every translator on our staff is currently unavailable. I was a tad worried for a moment," she admitted sheepishly, turning back to her computer. She clicked her computer mouse a few times and – after opening a new file, I suppose – began to ask me questions.

"Name?" she inquired, before bluntly adding, "Last and first please."

"Steel, Samantha," I answered with a small smile. Oh, I am so going to enjoy this…

The secretary typed in my response, read the next question, and asked, "Age?"

"Thirty-seven," I chirped, eyes alight with laughter as I happily bounced on the balls of my feet.

She paused in her typing and blinked at me in astonishment. "…pardon?"

I coughed into my fist, mumbling, "I said, 'Seventeen.'"

"Ah… Right." She eyed me doubtfully. "Sex?"

"No, thank you. I believe that abstinence is the way to go," I sang out cheerfully.

With her mouth agape, I must admit that the secretary looked truly horrified; Steve, oddly enough, appeared somewhat amused at my response.

"…I'm female." I blew my blonde bangs out of my face. "Jeez. Does anyone in this country have a sense of humor?"

She ignored me in favor of typing in the remainder of my information. A few more questions and my school profile was complete. In my peripheral vision, I noticed Steve writing in his Handy Dandy Notebook, probably copying the information for further use.

I frowned. He better not attempt to blackmail me…

A large stack of papers, one of them being my schedule, was hastily shoved into my hands. I tried to juggle them in my arms – unsuccessfully, I might add – and a small plastic card fell to the ground with a clink.

Steve bent over to retrieve it and silently offered it to me. I surveyed him warily, much like one would eye a poisonous snake before it struck, and snatched the small item out of his hands. I reached into my purse, grabbed my wallet, and slid it into an empty card holder for safekeeping. That done, I turned back to the secretary.

"Thanks!" I said, offering the woman a cheeky grin.

Her lips twisted upwards in a pained smile before ushering us out of the office. The door banged shut behind Steve and I as we were shoved out of the office. Steve remained silent as he led the way to my first class, all the while writing in his Handy Dandy Notebook. About what, I could only guess. And, honestly? I wasn't sure that I wished to know…

I almost walked right into him because he stopped so suddenly. Clumsy creature that I am, my feet instantly slipped out from under me as I moved to avoid him and I flew headfirst into a nearby door. It crashed open with a bang! and I rolled a few more times before coming to a stop.

Complete and utter silence greeted my dramatic entrance. And then all hell broke loose. Laughter erupted from the seated students and even my dear, emotionally-constipated Steve released a chuckle or two. The teacher, however, was not amused in the least. He barked a few commands in Japanese, calling for order in his classroom. That done, he shot me a disdainful glare; I blushed heavily at his scrutiny.

"And might I ask why you have entered my classroom in such a manner, young lady?" he demanded, his glasses shining in a manner eerily reminiscent of my dear friend Steve.

I sat up slowly, rubbing at the back of my head. "Er..."

Someone in the back of the room coughed, while another muttered, "Loser!"

That last comment made me cringe. I hid my flushed face behind a curtain of blonde hair, praying to God that I somehow came up with an appropriate answer. Finally, the light bulb over my head slowly flickered to life. And I blurted the first thing that came to mind –

"I was testing your reaction and response time to a possible intruder. Never can be too safe, you know. And you, uh…passed?"

Please Insert Blank Stare Here - =_=.

I sighed. "Really, does no one in this country have a sense of humor?" To myself, I thought, Honestly. What is wrong with the Japanese?

"Nothing at all, Miss Steel."

Damn, he's a fucking psycho! Er, I mean…psychic.

"In fact…" Steve smirked, his glasses once again flashing in the light. And we all know what that means… "You have just witnessed our version of humor."

Oh, hell no. He couldn't possibly mean… No…

My stomach sank. "Oh, dear God," I muttered, eyes clenched tightly at this revelation. "You're all a bunch of sadists, aren't you?"

I hadn't thought it possible, but his smirk widened. Stormy gray eyes twinkled with mischief as he said, "Only those of us at Ouran."

Turning towards my new math teacher, I timidly inquired, "Is it too late for me to transfer to Lobelia?"

***Author's Note***

Me: I am SO sorry that this is late. Between college, and family, and...

Hikaru and Kaoru: They don't care!

Me (gasp): So mean! O_O

P.S. That's a true story - the entrance into the classroom, I mean. And that was actually my response! XD I have tons of funny stories like that because I was an army brat; always the new kid! ;P