CHAPTER FORTY SEVEN

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December 12th 2006

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With the wedding almost entirely planned, with even Hermione's dress having been bought and secreted away in Ginny's wardrobe at Grimmauld Place, Hermione was excited and anxious for Christmas Day to arrive. Charlie seemed to have no idea and for that she was grateful, but as the day got closer Hermione had noticed that her husband to be seemed distracted and a little less joyful than usual, which was really beginning to worry her. Worried that he was perhaps having second thoughts, Hermione seized the opportunity to talk to him alone when the boys were asleep and he was taking his nightly shower.

"Bloody hell!" Charlie gasped as she slid into the shower cubicle next to him, frowning down at her as she stood completely naked with her hands on her hips, "you look angry."

"No, Charlie," she sighed, shaking her head, "this is my worried face."

"What are you worried about?" He asked and she rolled her eyes, stepping closer and brushing his hair back.

"Are you having second thoughts about marrying me?" She asked and Charlie gasped, his eyebrows furrowing as he shook his head.

"What? No!" He exclaimed, frowning deeply at her and pulling her in for a hug, "why the hell would you think that?"

"You've been distant and seemed so down lately," she sighed, pulling away and putting her hands in his wet chest, "there's something you're not telling me."

"Hermione-" he sighed, cutting off and groaning as she arched her eyebrow, "bloody hell, fine! I feel like a rubbish dad."

Hermione, feeling equal parts confused, shocked and horrified by his words, felt her jaw drop and her eyes widen as she looked at the man she would soon be able to call husband, wondering where on earth he had got that idea from. There was absolutely nothing, not a single thing that Hermione would say could make him a better father to their children and here he was telling her he felt he wasn't good enough? It seemed preposterous to her. She didn't know how long they had stood in silence with his statement hanging between them, but when he sighed and hung his head she was snapped from her thoughts and grabbed him by the face, making him look at her.

"For the love of god, tell me you're joking," she said sternly, sighing when he shrugged sadly, "Charlie, there is not a man in this world who could love two children as much as you love our boys. Why on earth would you think you're not good enough?"

"I don't know," he sighed, turning the shower off and opening the cubicle door, "I struggle so much with Remus, Hermione. I have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm supposed to be doing."

"You learn, Charlie," she shrugged, following him out of the shower and standing in front of him with her hands on his shoulders, "I can't even begin to tell you all the times I messed up with Arty. But that's what happens when you're a parent, you learn as you go and you figure out what's best for your child. Hell, I showed up to the Burrow in my pyjamas one night with a screaming Arty, crying my eyes out and begging your mum to take him away! Why? Because he was teething and I hadn't noticed. I learned how to deal with it that night and you will too. That's what happens."

"Remus doesn't even know who I am." Charlie sighed and Hermione snorted, making him frown at her.

"Remus doesn't know who I am and I had him inside me for almost nine months," she chuckled, shrugging, "Charlie, newborn babies are just lumps of flesh that eat and shit. Frankly, they're boring, but then one day they're not boring any more and then they're looking to you as their idol and nothing else matters any more."

"I feel like that day isn't ever going to come." Charlie sighed, his voice cracking and Hermione sighed as she pulled him into a hug, realising the issue.

"When was the last time you slept through the night, love?" She asked gently and he snorted, shrugging against her, "then I know what the problem is."

"I suck at-"

"You're over tired!" She exclaimed, quieting him with a hand over his mouth, "you're exhausted and trying to do too much. I'm banning you from night time feeds."

"What?!" He exclaimed, jumping back from her, "you can't! I actually enjoy-"

"You'll enjoy them a lot more when your body isn't crying out for a good night's sleep," she told him, her voice sounding more as though she were chastising Arty than talking to his father and she snorted when he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, "no sulking. I will get up in the night and you will sleep. No arguments."

"But-"

"What did I just say?" She asked, eyebrow raised and he groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Fine," he huffed, shrugging and pointing at her, "but I'm getting up with them in the mornings."

"That's fine by me," she nodded, smiling, "you're an amazing man and an even better father, Charlie Weasley. You have absolutely nothing to worry about."

He had nodded, kissed her on the lips and then proceeded to tiredly stumble from the bathroom, yawning as he practically fell into their bedroom. Hermione shook her head, chuckling as she re-entered the shower and enjoyed some time to think. She couldn't believe she hadn't seen it before, especially as she had been there herself so many times in the early days with Arty. She had eventually lost count of how many times either Ginny, Molly or sometimes Angelina had stayed with her overnight to give her a break from the night time feeds, so she completely understood where Charlie's worries were coming from. There had been many times when she had thought herself to be failing with her baby because she just had no energy to deal with the issues that arose. This time around, Charlie had taken on the majority of the sleep-depriving activities and, though she was grateful, she definitely kicked herself for not seeing this coming.

When she had finished in the shower and performed a drying spell on her hair, she pulled on Charlie's shirt and dragged the collar to her nose, enjoying the way it smelled of home as she stepped into the bedroom, only to end up biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from bursting out laughing. Poor Charlie had apparently only had the energy to stumble halfway towards the bed before he fell face down onto it, as he was spread eagled in the middle of it, sideways with his legs hanging off the edge. Shaking her head, she picked up her wand and gently levitated him before moving him into a much more dignified sleeping position before getting into bed and curling up next to him.