~Chapter Fifteen~

Sticks and Stones

It takes me falling to the ground
To admit to fully needing you.
Then when I'm breathing my last breath:
"Come and save me," I will cry to you.
'Cause pride has not let me say…

I am the broken.
I am the bruised.
I am the poor ones.
I have been used.

~Song for the Broken, by BarlowGirl

Disclaimer: Me No Own; You No Sue.

The words were stuck, not even passing from my frenzied thoughts and to my gaping mouth. I felt as though someone had flipped a switch in my brain; on to off. As if I'd been paralyzed with fear. My entire body was frozen, practically numb with the realization that someone – a complete stranger – had seen through my façade. Someone had stripped me of my costume, ripped away my mask. The glass heart that I had fought so hard to hide, to protect…

It shattered.

Sammy's P.O.V.

Once inside a tiny stall, I hastily locked its latch and leaned against the door, breathing heavily. I slowly sank to the ceramic tiles, absently noting that they were green with yellow flowers; honeysuckle. It had been years since I'd seen anything remotely similar to the flowers that had grown wild around my childhood home, clinging to the bricks like spider webs.

Home… My heart ached and I wrapped my arms around my chest in an effort to ease the pain. I want to go home!

Tears trickled down my face and I put a hand to my mouth, trying to stifle the shaky sobs that were being ripped from my chest – one after another. I tried to bury the hurt deep inside, as I always did, but nothing I did seemed to work this time. Not the humming, singing, or even the staged conversations between my imaginary 'multiple personalities.' Absolutely nothing was working.

I'm so selfish. I was given the chance to live with a new family, one that loves me, and all I want is to go back to my old home – to my real family. Blood was pounding in my ears. I clutched at my head, whimpering in pain. But they're gone… Daddy and meine Mutti. Little Sarah. All gone. Forever.

My fingers curled into my palm, nails digging into the tender flesh. I stared at my left hand, not really considering the consequences of my next action, and then - I slammed my fist into the brick wall that created the back to the bathroom stall. Bit back a scream as the bones in my hand crunched together. …more tears. No shit, right?

But… Oh my, God. It really hurt. Make it go away. Please… Just make it go away. It hurt so much. Please, please…

Even so, the pain in my hand – which was already swelling and more than likely broken – was nothing compared to the cold, empty feeling that was creeping into my chest. It felt as though someone had forcefully shoved a handful of icy snow down my throat. I couldn't talk, couldn't swallow, couldn't breathe around the giant lump.

"Excuse me, but is Sammy-chan in here?"

I startled at the sudden words, even though they were spoken softly; barely whispered. In fact, I might not have even heard them had I still been crying as loudly as I had only a moment ago. My sobs were quiet now and, aside from the occasional sniffle, had calmed to the point that one might mistake the sound for a bad case of the hiccups.

Just ignore her. I harshly instructed myself. Pretend that you aren't here. Just pretend.

The unmistakable sound of heels clicking on the tiles reached my ears. I heard her walking through the restroom, probably checking under each of the stalls for my whereabouts. The black, pointy shoes finally clicked to a stop outside of the stall that I was currently occupying. …okay, I'll admit it: I was hiding in the stall. Happy now?

"…Sammy-chan?"

I didn't answer. Go away.

Being the rich girl that she is, the newcomer simply slipped her credit card through the crack in the door and unlocked the latch, sliding it to the right. The door opened slowly. It creaked faintly as it was pulled towards the young woman and she warily stepped towards my shaking form. I stared at her reproachfully, silently begging her to leave me alone. She gasped softly, a small hand reaching up to cover her mouth, shocked at what she saw: broken pieces of a puzzle that once was whole.

"Oh, honey," she murmured. Her smile dimmed as she reached forward to wrap her arms around me. "It's okay. Everything will be okay."

How could you possibly know that? I wanted to ask her that question, but the words were stuck in my throat, glued to my larynx like undercooked rice. And how…how do you know that I'm so broken?

Her arms tightened around my shoulders and I flinched when the unexpected movement jostled my left arm. I cradled the wounded hand to my chest, trying to ignore the sad expression that rested upon her face as she stared at the swollen limb. Her green eyes were brimming with an emotion that I was very familiar with: pity.

I hated being pitied.

"What are you even doing in here anyway, Kotoko-chan?" I mumbled, somewhat sourly.

My classmate smiled faintly, understanding the true meaning behind my words, and said, "I went to ask the Host Club when their next opening would be and I found the entire room in chaos. That strange Frenchwoman is in there, characterizing them all as fiends and demanding that they star in her film." She snorted. "Or some other nonsense."

I wrinkled my nose in distaste. "That girl is absolutely nuts – batshit crazy. And not the good kind either…"

Stupid bitch just had to come along and shatter the walls that I had so carefully constructed around my very soul. Hell, not even Kyoya had seen through my disguise and that asshole saw through everything.

Stupid Renge. Stupid Shadow King. …stupid Sammy.

"Indeed," Kotoko said. She laughed softly, obviously amused at my observations.

I turned to face her, wondering why it was that I could never quite bring myself to hate her. After all, she frequently visited the Host Club and – worse yet – only designated Mitsukuni and Takashi. But as the shy type, she generally only spoke with the latter of the two (…when he actually spoke, that is.) And with her shiny black hair and bright green eyes, one could easily label her as an exotic beauty and honestly mean it. Any and all compliments given to this girl were spoken without falsity.

Despite this, it really was impossible to hate her. Kotoko was too nice of a person and she never had a mean thing to say about anyone. That was more (much more) than could be said for the majority of the fangirls that attended this school.

Kotoko was quiet for a minute. "I believe that there is a common saying in your country of America. 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.' That is true, yes?"

And the scary part of the matter? She had spoken in English – fluently. I stared at her, stunned. It had been many years since I had heard one of my native languages spoken to me so clearly, and by what I considered to be a foreigner ignorant to the ways of my father's country. Apparently, the students of Ouran were expected to be fluent in English or some other foreign language. Damn rich bastards…

"I am sorry," she murmured, seemingly ashamed of herself. "My English is not so good."

"'Not good?'" I croaked, eyes bulging as I continued staring – quite rudely, I'm sure. "Well, yeah! That might be due to the fact that it's great! That was amazingly fluent!"

Kotoko smiled, blushing prettily as she thanked me for my kind words. Kind words… Hell, had she expected me to be mean and criticize her pronunciation? Of course, everyone else seemed to think that I was a nasty, sarcastic bitch. It wouldn't surprise me if the older girl thought the same of me.

I sighed, doing my best to shove the depressing thoughts aside. Now that I had someone to speak to, it wasn't quite so hard to hide the worry and pain. I would have to thank Kotoko for that small reprieve someday.

"You know, your brothers are worried sick about you," Kotoko suddenly declared, as if she had just remembered why she had chosen to visit the restroom, besides the obvious reason one generally had to do so.

Caught by surprise, my head snapped upwards and swiveled in her direction. Disbelief was clearly written on my face.

She must have seen my wary expression because she finally admitted, "Your brothers pulled me aside after I'd completed my errand and told me that the new girl had upset you. Neither of them could find you, so they asked me to check the girls' restrooms."

My cheeks flushed with shame. Honestly, I had known that the boys would never check the female facilities, in spite of their mischievous natures. They were pranksters, not perverts. That was why I had immediately thought to hide away in the girls' restroom, far away from the prying eyes of Renge…or Ayanokoji and her loyal followers.

"I really appreciate you doing that," I whispered, closing my eyes to avoid the directness of her stare. It was unnerving, to say the least.

Eventually, I heard her shift, as she was probably standing and preparing to leave. "Are you returning to the Host Club?" she inquired, brushing away the dirt that had gathered on her yellow dress. "They do appear to be quite worried about you. Especially Mori-kun."

Yeah, right. They're too busy fawning over Haruhi to worry about little ole me. I thought glumly. Aloud, I said, "…no. Not any time soon, at least."

Humming in thought and tapping the toes of her shoes on the ceramic tiles. "Then would you like me to send someone in here for you?" Kotoko asked. She placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. "It wouldn't be any trouble at all."

"Yes, please," I murmured. My words were muffled because I had buried my face in my dusty jeans, but she appeared to understand. "…thank you, Kotoko-chan."

The door had just shut, when she whispered, "You're welcome, honey."

Not even five minutes later, I could hear the sound of shoes slapping against the hallway floor, even though I was seated in the stall farthest away from the bathroom doors. My shoulders tightened and I waited silently for my brothers to enter. I was uneasy, to say the least. Not knowing how they would react because – to put it simply – the younger boys were often unpredictable: like Jell-O.

That's right, Sammy – distract yourself with another one of your stupid jokes. Do just what Renge claims you do. The bitter thoughts were unbidden, but warranted nonetheless. Prove her right.

Seriously though, it was a seemingly solid food, until you poked at the sticky mess with a spoon. And then it…wiggled, as if it were alive or something! I had always wanted to contact the manufacturer and ask if this had been intended by the original creator, but I'd never quite had the guts to hear the answer.

I'm such a coward. I thought angrily. Can't even chase after the answer to a simple question without fretting over the details.

Once again, the door was opened, but this time it was done in haste. I slowly got to my feet, hiding my left hand behind my back as I exited the stall, not wanting to worry my brothers. The silly boys worried enough about me as it was.

"…Onee-chan," Kaoru whispered, his golden eyes shining with tears as he reached forward and pulled me into a hug.

He called me… My chest tightened as I recalled my earlier thoughts – selfish thoughts – berating myself for wishing that I'd never had the need to meet these two wonderful boys. It's been so long since anyone has referred to me as their big sister; an eternity.

Wearily, I closed my eyes, leaning into the warm embrace and resting my head against his lean chest. Kaoru… I hugged him tightly, silently begging him for forgiveness. Please, Kaoru. A warm hand brushed away the tears that still lingered in my eyelashes and I turned my face into the touch. Hikaru… Sobbing as I clutched tightly at my siblings in everything but blood.

I'm so sorry, meine Lieblinge.

The Twins continued to hold me as they ushered me through the buildings. Everything was a blur as we hurried down the halls – the rooms, the lockers, and even the people. It was all meshed into one long, pink strip. Nothing was remotely familiar about any of these things, despite the fact that I had attended Ouran for almost three months now. Three...long…months.

I bit my lip to quell the urge to cry. No one else should have to see me fall apart. I didn't even want my little brothers to witness such a shameful thing, yet here they were right beside me. Hikaru and Kaoru were always there for me, even though I had hated them on sight when the three of us were introduced, just six years ago. …has it really only been six years?

Vaguely, I registered the sound of a Hitachiin limousine pulling up the curb, tires screeching and gravel flying everywhere – a clear sign that it was RJ behind the wheel. Although I was happy that the Twins had the foresight to call my chauffer – a man that actually liked me – as opposed to any of the other judgmental staff members, I made a mental note to check the legality of his license when the opportunity arose. Crazy man drove like a bat out of Hell.

After the Twins and I had climbed into the backseat, RJ rolled the privacy window down and turned to survey the three of us. His gaze swept over the Twins, both of who were rather unkempt and flustered, and then shot to me. The chauffer winced. Obviously, my tired, sweaty, and rumpled appearance was not a pretty sight. …oh, come on. It couldn't be that bad.

"Damn, girl," he exclaimed in shock. Amber eyes widened as they came to linger on my tearstained face. "You look like shit."

Ah, fuck – who asked him anyway?

"Thanks so very much for your highly valued opinion, Ryouta," I snarled at him, blue eyes narrowing in anger. "Whatever would I do without your input?"

If that wasn't considered a prime example of sarcasm, then I was obviously no longer fluent in that language. Too many – German, English, Japanese, and now Sarcasm – mixing in my head for me to make much sense of them these days, it seems.

RJ stiffened, expression hardening as he blandly said, "Ah, right. I apologize for my rude behavior, Miss Sammy."

Ouch. That was below the belt. I kept my thoughts to myself, simply because RJ was the type to fret over quarrels and insults. I'll give him some time to calm down and, when we get to the Manor, I will apologize.

The rest of the ride was spent in silence, none of us really knowing what to say to one another now that the chaos of the afternoon had been contained and swept under the proverbial rug. The Twins still had trouble dealing with feelings other than their own – even some of mine were still foreign to them – and RJ never spoke when he was angry.

As for myself… Well, let's just say that I had a tendency to dig myself into a deeper hole when I was angry or nervous. I suffered from the Open Mouth, Insert Foot Disease. Or, in this case, open coffin, insert Sammy.

With a sigh, RJ turned onto the final road that led the way to the Hitachiin Manor. I watched him run a hand through his black hair, knowing that the young man had probably already forgiven me. Even so, that didn't excuse my behavior.

"I am so sorry, RJ. I…I really didn't mean it. Probably shouldn't really use this as an excuse, but I had an absolutely miserable day," I softly explained, visibly deflating as I stared down at my swollen hand. It still hurt.

The young man said nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

"Again, I'm sorry for snapping at you," I whispered into the silence of the large, mostly empty passenger cabin of the limousine.

And with a small, but heartfelt apology, he was back to normal again. Just like that. RJ was quite the happy-go-lucky sort of guy, though it might not appear that way to most. He merely waved my words away with a shake of his head.

"Don't worry about it, kiddo. I probably would have reacted in a similar manner had someone said something that rude to me – especially if I'd just had a really bad day," RJ admitted with a forgiving smile.

Kaoru patted me on the head after the chauffer had spoken; such a thing was a clear sign of his approval. I blinked up at him in surprise. It was rare that the younger boy thought to judge my words or actions. The phrase 'Once in a blue moon' certainly applied here. Hikaru, on the other hand, only smiled down at me. He ruffled my hair as we exited the car and made our way up the circular driveway and towards the pathway leading to Hitachiin Manor.

The boys quickly jogged up the front stairs and through the large, pastel green doors, but I turned around once more to look at the limousine. RJ lifted his hand in farewell and I did the same, waving as he drove down the driveway and around to the back of the house, to the garages. Against the wishes of my adoptive parents and their staff, I would probably visit the older man later tonight, and more than likely with a shopping bag full of junk food pilfered from the overly stocked kitchen pantry – a small token of my apology.

Well, maybe not so small; RJ loved junk food more than the newly released volumes of Black Butler…and that was a lot.

"Sammy! Oh, my God. I was so worried about you, chickadee!"

Without warning, I suddenly found myself caught in a vice-like grip, practically gasping for air as Ellen held me in what she liked to refer as 'an affectionate hug,' but what everyone else referred to as a crushing embrace. In other words, she was currently squeezing the life out of me; I was now approximately twenty-six years old and counting. As Steve often said, "Where has my youth gone?"

Ellen shakily exhaled, still clutching me to her chest, and explained, "Hikaru and Kaoru called me earlier, demanding to know if you'd come home after school. I wasn't sure, so I decided to check in with RJ, but he didn't know either."

Her voice had cracked on the last word. Such obvious worry was against Ellen's nature (it was a sign of weakness apparently), so I knew instantly that I had truly scared her. My maid may have known me longer than anyone else in this country, but she didn't know the inner workings of my mind. As of that moment, Ellen had finally been made aware of the fact that I was suffering from depression.

Yes, I would admit that I was generally a happy person, but I had never quite gotten over the death of my biological family. Never quite gave in to the temptation to mourn. No… My heart had never been given the chance to heal.

So here I was – broken, but not alone. Not anymore. Now, I had Kouta and Yuzuha – my adoptive parents – and my little brothers, Hikaru and Kaoru. Add Ellen, RJ, and Tai into the mix…and I had a family again.

"Hurry up, would ya?" Kaoru called down the stairs, red hair barely visible over the obscenely giant, potted plant that was placed on one of the wooden banisters.

Hikaru shoved his brother to the side, cupping his mouth with his hands to shout: "Yeah! Get your big, white ass – ouch, Kaoru!" He rubbed the tender spot on his scalp (apparently, his brother had pulled his hair) and grumbled, "…I was just kidding."

"Yeah, but does she know that, Hikaru?" Kaoru demanded angrily with his hands on his thin hips. Which was an über gay pose, I might add.

The Twins continued bickering as I ran up the steps, taking them two at a time and praying to every deity in existence that I wouldn't fall flat on my face. Not that I'd ever admit that aloud… Of course, I was extremely clumsy, so there was an 87% chance of such a thing occurring; approximately. See, Mister Wetzel? I am capable of applying what I learned in your Probability and Statistics class to real life!

"Oi! Are you even listening to us?" Hikaru demanded. He glared down his nose at me much like Severus Snape would…had I been Harry Potter, which I was not.

I blinked, staring up at the Twins in surprise. "Um…no?"

Kaoru sighed. "She was definitely thinking about that evil math teacher again," he muttered under his breath.

…he just read my mind. Like Steve! I thought to myself, sweatdropping. Oh, that wasn't creepy at all.

I ignored my clairvoyant brothers in favor of opening my bedroom door. Once in the room, I flipped the light switch and moved over to my antique desk. I threw my backpack underneath it and sat down in my blue swivel chair, leaning back and placing my feet on the nearby ottoman. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hikaru and Kaoru enter the room – hands now free of heavy books and uniform jackets. The two boys flopped down on my bed, making themselves comfortable on the blue Kingdom Hearts bedspread.

Now that we were comfortable, we could get down to business.

"So, Sammy-chan… Do you feel the need for revenge?" Hikaru asked, examining his nails in a bored manner.

Hikaru was more vicious than his younger brother and, as of this moment, was clearly more bloodthirsty – kinda like the Godfather, minus the cat and the nifty accent. Oh! And he didn't have any followers in the yakuza as of yet. He wouldn't be placing them on the payroll until next year.

As the more organized of the pair, Kaoru quickly chimed in with his question. "Have you thought of any ideas or plans yet, or are we starting from scratch with this one?" His golden eyes were eager as he turned to face me.

I hesitated, not entirely sure if that was the best route to take in a matter such as this. Renge was the daughter of an important man, one that was obviously involved in the Ootori family's dealings. Not only would I be risking their wrath, but the wrath of Kyoya, as well. Though I was loath to admit it, the Shadow King still scared the scheiẞe out of me, more so than the rest of his family or friends. Scary mother fucker, that one.

But then again, he had merely stood there and watched as every aspect of my being was dissected and analyzed – laid out for the entire world to see…

Ah, to Hell with it. I wanted revenge. And badly, too.

The Twins were waiting for my decision with baited breath – honestly, were they even breathing? – so I solemnly nodded my assent. "Full speed ahead, lads."

"Good…" Hikaru started with a wicked smile.

"…we'll get started…" Kaoru continued, clapping his hands together.

"…right away!"

I grinned, eager to immerse myself in an epic prank once again. Forget what Renge said, my jokes and pranks were not solely a means of hiding my true nature. I was a prankster – always had been; always would be. Nothing that she said could or would ever change that. After all, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words would never hurt me.

***Author's Note***

I am so sorry that is late. Hell, I had such frequent updates for a while, too! XD

But, alas - shit happened. :( First, my entire family got really sick; passing around Sinusitis apparently. Second, there was a death in my family. Lastly, my final exams are coming up in a few weeks, so there has been loads of homework to do for my college classes. (...yay.)

Anyway, here it is, just like I promised - humor with a dash of angst. In the next chapter, we will return to primarily humor and romance. Episode Five!

Later, peeps! :D