She had a very stern face and Harry's first thought was that this was not someone to cross.
"Then why do you continue to do so Mr Potter?" Minerva asked with a sigh; at least she seemed like someone not to cross.
"Can't help myself. I think it's genetics," Harry replied, gaining a grin from Remus and a bark from Snuffles as the two Marauders thought back to their time at Hogwarts.
They crowded in, standing rather closer together than they would usually have done, peering about nervously.
"I don't remember being nervous," Tonks said casually.
"Are you kidding Tonks? You were shaking like a leaf," Charlie replied. Tonks ignored him.
The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts.
"Some family," Harry muttered, remembering the number of times the whole house turned on him for various reasons.
You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room.
"Free time can be spent anywhere," Tonks said.
"Playing pranks," Fred said.
"Sneaking into the kitchen," George added.
"Students aren't allowed in the kitchen," Umbridge exclaimed. Everyone ignored her; it was getting easier as the reading continued, and everyone hoped it would carry on once they finished the books.
"Researching in the library," Hermione said.
"Solving mysteries," Ron added quietly.
"Trying to save the school," Harry added under his breath, "and trying not to die."
I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting."
"Do you use the same speech every year Professor?" Remus asked.
"Why do you ask Mr Lupin? You were only a first-year once."
"We memorised it, or at least James did. He had fun reciting it in the dorms to annoy us," Remus replied with a shrug, causing Harry to stare at Remus; his dad had been such a dork as well as a prankster; it made sense though, he would have had to have been to become an Animagus so young and to have helped create the Marauder's Map.
Her eyes lingered for a moment on Neville's cloak, which was fastened under his left ear,
"How did you even manage that?" Lee asked Neville curiously.
"I honestly have no idea," Neville replied sheepishly.
Harry nervously tried to flatten his hair.
"That's not going to work," Remus said, looking at his hair fondly. "Nothing can tame the Potter hair."
"You'd think I'd have learnt that by now," Harry replied.
"Some sort of test, I think. Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking."
"Why do you believe the twins?" Bill asked with a sigh.
"I already said they tell the truth half the time. I can never tell which half is the lie," Ron said. "And I bet you knew."
"Yeah, dad told me," Bill said with a shrug.
"Bill told me, and I told Percy," Charlie agreed, scratching the back of his neck.
"I told the twins when I heard the ridiculous ideas they were coming up with," Mrs Weasley added.
"The twins actually told me," Ginny said.
"We just assumed someone had told you," Mr Weasley said. Ron sighed and turned away; of course, everyone else in his family had known while he hadn't. The rest of the Weasleys exchanged sad looks, unhappy that they had unintentionally added to his insecurity and inferiority complex that had already been pretty bad.
"Hey, at least you weren't the only one who didn't know. I had no clue what-so-ever," Harry whispered to Ron.
"And I thought we'd have to do magic and was stressing out," Hermione added just as quietly. Ron smiled slightly.
"Thanks guys."
No one was talking much except Hermione Granger, who was whispering very fast about all the spells she'd learned and wondering which one she'd need.
"How many did you know?" Charlie asked curiously.
"A few," Hermione said.
"Enough to make me very nervous," Harry added.
He'd never been more nervous, never, not even when he'd had to take a school report home to the Dursleys saying that he'd somehow turned his teacher's wig blue.
"Why couldn't you have done that to one of the teachers here?" Fred asked.
"Can you imagine Snape with blue hair?" George asked. Everyone who had heard the comment cracked up at the image. Harry grinned slyly, now having an idea for his next prank; all the teachers would look wonderful with colourful hair.
What are you thinking now? Hermione asked after snapping her fingers to get his attention.
Don't you think all the teachers would look good with coloured hair? Snape blue, Dumbledore bright yellow, he stopped, not wanting to give all of his plans away. Hermione sighed.
Are you going to bed early tonight after the stress from having your privacy invaded? He grinned and nodded; he knew he could count on her to provide him an alibi.
Any second now, Professor McGonagall would come back and lead him to his doom.
"Dramatic," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.
"Your dad was pretty dramatic at times. And you know your godfather is," Remus said, making Harry grin.
What looked like a fat little monk was saying: "Forgive and forget, I say, we ought to give him a second chance -"
"Are they arguing about Peeves?" Tonks asked eagerly.
"Yep," Ron replied.
"How did you know?" Neville asked.
"They had the same argument every year," Charlie said.
These tables were laid with glittering golden plates and goblets.
"They were silver when I was at school," Mrs Weasley commented with a frown.
"They changed them for me," Remus said quietly.
Mainly to avoid all the staring eyes,
"All the staring really didn't help with my nerves," Harry said with a sigh, gaining many nods of agreement from around the hall.
It was hard to believe there was a ceiling there at all, and that the Great Hall didn't simply open on to the heavens.
"It really does look amazing," Hannah sighed.
Aunt Petunia wouldn't have let it in the house.
"Can we borrow the sorting hat Professor?" Fred and George asked. Dumbledore chuckled at what they were implying.
"Unfortunately not, Messrs Weasley," Dumbledore replied, eyes twinkling.
Maybe they had to try and get a rabbit out of it,
"Why?" a Ravenclaw asked.
"Muggle magic trick," Harry replied with a shrug.
"I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll."
The trio slowly turned to each other in surprise.
"Do you have seer blood in your family?" Harry asked Ron in disbelief.
"Not that I know of," Ron replied, just as stunned. "I don't even remember that."
"Wow. Just, wow," Hermione said, shaking her head. The exchange wasn't missed by those around them, who all exchanged confused looks, not having followed the conversation at all, something that seemed to be common around the trio.
If only the hat had mentioned a house for people who felt a bit queasy, that would have been the one for him.
"It would have been the house for almost everyone," Mrs Weasley said kindly.
"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat.
The Hufflepuffs around the hall clapped for their housemate.
"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat again, and Susan scuttled off to sit next to Hannah.
Again, claps from the Hufflepuffs filled the hall.
"RAVENCLAW!"
It was the Ravenclaw's turn to applaud this time.
"Brocklehurst, Mandy" went to Ravenclaw too, but "Brown, Lavender" became the first new Gryffindor, and the table on the far left exploded with cheers; Harry could see Ron's twin brothers catcalling.
The Gryffindors applauded, with the twins doing a re-enactment of their performance at the original sorting, causing Lavender to blush.
"Bulstrode, Millicent" then became a Slytherin.
The Slytherins clapped politely.
Perhaps it was Harry's imagination, after all he'd heard about Slytherin, but he thought they looked like an unpleasant lot.
"Inbreeding," Hermione said.
"Right. Just look at Siri," Harry replied quietly, so only Hermione and Ron would hear, since they were right next to him, as well as making sure that Remus and Snuffles would hear with their enhanced hearing. Remus clearly heard because he snickered, while Snuffles did a very good impression of wounded and betrayed for a dog.
"HUFFLEPUFF!"
The Hufflepuffs in the hall clapped again.
"Finnigan, Seamus," the sandy-haired boy next to Harry in the line, sat on the stool for almost a whole minute before the hat declared him a Gryffindor.
The Gryffindors clapped and a few cheered.
"GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the hat.
The Gryffindors cheered and whooped, lots of them happy that Hermione was in their house.
"Did the hat even consider you for Ravenclaw?" Remus asked.
"It did. But it decided that my bravery and stubbornness outweigh my cleverness and smarts," Hermione replied. Those who heard gaped at her; they all knew that she was incredibly smart so what did that say about her bravery?
Ron groaned.
"Ron!" Ginny exclaimed.
"I was eleven. And I didn't mean it."
What if he just sat there with the hat over his eyes for ages, until Professor McGonagall jerked it off his head and said there had obviously been a mistake and he'd better get back on the train?
"That would never happen, I assure you Mr Potter. The only time someone wasn't sorted was when a Squib snuck in," Dumbledore said calmly.
When it finally shouted, "GRYFFINDOR," Neville ran off still wearing it,
The Gryffindors applauded for Neville, a few of them laughing at the same time. Neville grinned sheepishly.
"The Harry Potter?"
"Because that wasn't annoying when I was already so nervous," Harry said, rolling his eyes.
So where shall I put you?"
"You could have gone anywhere," Luna said.
You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness,
"You were almost a Slytherin?" Ginny asked, shocked.
"Yeah. I've always been pretty sneaky. Main reason I argued was because Malfoy was already there and I don't think I could have dealt with living with him for seven years," Harry replied with a shrug. Many Slytherins glared at Draco.
"Why did you argue? Didn't you hear Snape say he'd have resigned if you were in Slytherin? We wouldn't have had to deal with him," Neville said in fake disappointment, gaining laughs from those who had heard him.
Well, if you're sure - better be GRYFFINDOR!"
"Thankfully," Fred said.
"Imagine if he was a Slytherin," George added.
"Then Slytherin would have had him as seeker," they exclaimed together, as if that would have been the largest tragedy there was. Harry chuckled at their dramatics, while the glares being sent towards Draco from the Slytherins increased.
He was so relieved to have been chosen and not put in Slytherin,
"Not because Slytherin is a bad house, I just don't think I could have dealt with Malfoy as housemate for seven years," Harry said again.
"We got Potter! We got Potter!"
The twins were again repeating their performance.
"Fred, George, sit down," their mum reprimanded at the same time that McGonagall called,
"Weasley."
He was looking very peculiar in a large purple turban.
The trio glared at the book, all of them knowing what was hiding under the turban.
Harry crossed his fingers under the table and a second later the hat had shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!"
"Thanks mate."
"Of course."
And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!"
"Great speech Professor," Remus called.
"Thank you, Remus," Dumbledore said happily.
"Is he - a bit mad?" he asked Percy uncertainly.
"All the best wizards are," Dumbledore said cheerfully.
"That explains Harry then," Ron said.
"Oi," Harry said, before pausing, "I'm not actually sure if I should be insulted or not."
The Dursleys had never exactly starved Harry, but he'd never been allowed to eat as much as he liked.
"Then what do you call starving?" Hermione asked.
"The summer before second year. You'll see," Harry replied.
Dudley had always taken anything that Harry really wanted, even if it made him sick.
"Horrible child," Minerva said, shaking her head.
How can you be nearly headless?"
The Gryffindors all groaned.
"Someone always asks."
"And it's always while we're eating."
Sir Nicholas looked extremely miffed, as if their little chat wasn't going at all the way he wanted.
"Oh no, it's going exactly as he wanted," Remus said.
His whole head swung off his neck and fell onto his shoulder as if it was on a hinge.
"Ew," many people around the hall said, having never seen it for themselves.
"I've never asked," said Nearly Headless Nick delicately.
"Has anyone actually asked?" Dean asked.
"I know people have, but he never told them. He just followed them around for a month instead," Bill replied. Remus shivered.
"I will never forgive your father and godfather for asking in our fifth year," Remus said to Harry while glaring at Snuffles, who looked quite proud of himself.
Bit of a nasty shock for him."
"That could have turned out badly," Harry said, not having realised at the time what actually could have happened if Seamus' dad had reacted badly.
The others laughed.
"It's not funny," Severus muttered, remembering how his own father had reacted when he found out his wife was a witch.
"Well, my gran brought me up and she's a witch," said Neville, "but the family thought I was all-Muggle for ages.
"Why?" Remus asked curiously. "You were doing magic heaps as a baby. You and Harry both started doing accidental magic at about six months, both on the same day. You were having a playdate. You both wanted the toys the other had. Harry slowly levitated yours to him and you summoned his to you."
"Really?" Neville asked.
"Oh yeah. You two were always having playdates until your parents had to go into hiding. And you were matching each other magic for magic," Remus confirmed. Harry looked at Neville, wondering how different their lives would have been if their parents hadn't been attacked, if they had grown up together like it seemed they were going to.
My Great Uncle Algie kept trying to catch me off my guard and force some magic out of me - he pushed me off the end of Blackpool pier once, I nearly drowned
"Excuse me, he did what?" Pomona exclaimed, outraged by how one of her favourite students had been treated.
"I will be speaking to Augusta about that," Minerva said, just as angry about the treatment of one of her lions.
They were all really pleased, Gran was crying, she was so happy.
"I hope she was crying happily because you were alive, since you could have died otherwise. You most likely stopped doing magic because you went through a traumatic experience; everyone reacts differently to those," Remus said lowly, not at all happy about how the son of Alice and Frank was being treated; Alice had been Lily's best friend and the two young families had been really close, making them just as close with him, Sirius, and the traitor.
On Harry's other side, Percy Weasley and Hermione were talking about lessons
"Of course," Ron said, rolling his eyes fondly.
Professor Quirrell, in his absurd turban, was talking to a teacher with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and sallow skin.
"Nice description," Fred said, grinning.
The hook-nosed teacher looked past Quirrell's turban straight into Harry's eyes - and a sharp, hot pain shot across the scar on Harry's forehead.
Harry winced slightly but otherwise didn't react; the pain from his scar in first year was nowhere near as bad as the pain he got from it now. The reminder about the pain in his scar made him very thankful that the time bubble would prevent him from having any scar pains while they were reading.
"Why did your scar hurt?" Mrs Weasley asked, concerned.
"You'll see," Harry said, not really wanting to bring up the issue with Voldemort in the school until they really had to. Snuffles was staring at him in concern, since he had told Sirius about why his scar hurt, but hadn't explained how he knew that.
"N-nothing."
"You really need to tell people when you're hurt," Remus said. Harry shrugged.
Knows an awful lot about the Dark Arts, Snape."
"Not a crime," Severus said with a scowl.
"That doesn't mean it's not true," Filius said.
"That's not a bad thing though. You need to know about them to be able to defend against them," Harry said. The DA members that heard him nodded, thinking about how he described the Dark Arts and how the spell they were learning would help them fight it, even the basics.
The hall fell silent.
"Something that only works for Dumbledore," Lee said, glaring at Umbridge.
First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils.
"So why did we have our detention there if it's forbidden?" Hermione asked quietly.
"Search me," Ron said.
"No clue. You know that the wizarding world isn't the most logical," Harry said.
Dumbledore's twinkling eyes flashed in the direction of the Weasley twins.
"You better not be going into the forest," Mrs Weasley said to the twins, fixing them with a stare. They didn't react.
"How else are we meant to get our ingredients for our pranks and experiments. We don't have the money to buy them and we're not stupid enough to try and steal from Snape," George said with a shrug.
"We use half of what we collect in our pranks and experiments and sell the other half to save up money for the things we need that we can't get from the forest," Fred added. Many of the teachers, as well as their parents, stared at them. No one had thought that they were going in there for a reason, let alone to collect things to use and sell rather than have to steal, and mainly thought they were doing it just to break the rules.
And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."
"Excuse me? A very painful death?" Amelia asked.
"Very painful," Harry agreed, causing most of the hall to turn to stare at him.
"Extremely," Ron and Hermione said, nodding.
"And how do you know?" Mrs Weasley asked.
"You'll see," they said together.
I do think he might have told us Prefects, at least."
"The Prefects don't get told everything," Minerva said.
"No, Percy was right. They should have told the Prefects why so they could help make sure no one went there and to help patrol it," Remus agreed.
Harry noticed that the other teachers' smiles had become rather fixed.
"I think it's a lovely tune," Dumbledore said when the teachers' seemed to tense again.
At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march.
"Definitely the best tune."
"Ickle Firsties! What fun!"
"Ickle Firsties?" Tonks asked.
"We taught them that," George said proudly.
"Caput Draconis,"
"What type of password is that?" Draco said with a sneer.
"The stranger the password, the less chance someone has of guessing it," Tracey Davis said.
"You can't speak. What type of password is Pureblood?" Ron asked. The Slytherin's turned to stare at Ron.
"How do you know that?" Severus asked. Ron shrugged.
"You'll see."
"They're not meant to know," Harry hissed.
"They'll find out. We'll just make them wonder," Ron said.
"It's not that hard to guess though. The outspoken Slytherin's are all about blood purity these days," Hermione said when all the Slytherin's continued to stare or glare at them.
He's chewing my sheets."
"Bloody rat," Ron growled.
He was wearing Professor Quirrell's turban, which kept talking to him, telling him he must transfer to Slytherin at once, because it was his told the turban he didn't want to be in Slytherin; it got heavier and heavier; he tried to pull it off but it tightened painfully - and there was Malfoy, laughing at him as he struggled with it – then Malfoy turned into the hook-nosed teacher, Snape, whose laugh became high and cold - there was a burst of green light and Harry woke, sweating and shaking.
"You have weird dreams," Neville said.
"I know. They're worse now," Harry said, thinking about the long corridor that he seemed to always be dreaming about when he wasn't having nightmares.
He rolled over and fell asleep again, and when he woke next day, he didn't remember the dream at all.
"Why couldn't you have remembered it?" Ron groaned.
"You already suspected him," Hermione added in the same tone.
"I don't know. Don't ask how my subconscious knows more than I do," Harry said.
Dumbledore stood up, easily getting the attention off the trio and their interaction that no one understood.
"We're going to stop for lunch now. If you could all stand, the house tables will come back for lunch and we will return to this seating once everyone is finished eating."