The Potions Master.
"Why do we have to read about the git?" Fred and George whined in unison, causing laughs and snorts from those around them who had heard.
"At least people will see how bad he is. I mean, the teachers all tell us that he can't be as bad as we say he is. They always say we're exaggerating," Hermione said.
"Do you reckon it will mean we can get rid of him?" Ron asked eagerly.
"With my luck? No," Harry said with a snort, getting nods of agreement from Hermione and Ron, since they both intimately knew about his luck.
"Did you see his scar?"
"Not annoying at all. Especially when I was trying to get to class and not get lost," Harry said loudly, causing those who had stared at him to look away sheepishly.
Harry wished they wouldn't, because he was trying to concentrate on finding his way to classes.
"I wish there was a map of the castle," Neville said quietly, causing the twins, the trio, and Remus to all smirk, the trio and twins exchanging glances.
There were a hundred and forty-two staircases at Hogwarts:
"You counted?" Bill asked, amused.
"No," Harry said, looking away.
"Then how do you know?" Charlie asked.
"I may have heard Hermione mention it," he said, still not meeting anyone's eyes.
It was also very hard to remember where anything was, because it all seemed to move around a lot.
"I agree with Neville. A map really would be helpful," Ginny said.
Nearly Headless Nick was always happy to point new Gryffindors in the right direction, but Peeves the Poltergeist was worth two locked doors and a trick staircase if you met him when you were late for class.
"Really? He used to be worth at least three locked doors, and multiple trick staircases," Remus said in surprise.
He would drop wastepaper baskets on your head, pull rugs from under your feet, pelt you with bits of chalk, or sneak up behind you, invisible, grab your nose, and screech, "GOT YOUR CONK!"
"He still does that? I didn't think he would remember me teaching him that," Remus mused.
"You taught him that?" Harry asked.
"Yeah. The four of us taught him a lot of things over the years."
Harry and Ron managed to get on the wrong side of him on their very first morning.
"If we weren't so proud, we'd be annoyed."
"That you managed to beat our record."
"They didn't manage it until the end of their second week," Charlie informed the group with a smirk, while Harry and Ron chuckled.
"You beat our record too. End of the first week," Remus said.
He wouldn't believe they were lost, was sure they were trying to break into it on purpose,
"We really were lost, the castle is bloody huge," Ron grumbled.
"If we knew where we were, we wouldn't have been trying to get through the door," Harry added.
"Not yet at least," Hermione added under her breath.
and was threatening to lock them in the dungeons when they were rescued by Professor Quirrell, who was passing.
"Just passing, yeah right," the trio muttered.
Filch knew the secret passageways of the school better than anyone (except perhaps the Weasley twins)
"Or the Marauders," Fred said.
"Who are the Marauders?" Ginny asked.
"No one," George replied quickly.
"That's the second time you've mentioned them," Ginny said.
"You'll see," Ron said, effectively stopping the argument.
Binns droned on and on while they scribbled down names and dates, and got Emetic the Evil and Uric the Oddball mixed up.
"Get a new teacher for that class," Minerva hissed to Dumbledore who nodded.
"Anyone messing around in my class will leave and not come back. You have been warned."
"And yet you let us keep coming back all the way to seventh year," Remus commented.
"I can assure you that that was only because you were brilliant in my class," Minerva replied.
The class everyone had really been looking forward to was Defence Against the Dark Arts, but Quirrell's lessons turned out to be a bit of a joke.
All those who had had Quirrell either groaned or rolled their eyes at the reminder.
His classroom smelled strongly of garlic, which everyone said was to ward off a vampire he'd met in Romania and was afraid would be coming back to get him one of these days.
"Wish it was only a vampire," Harry muttered, "would have saved us a lot of trouble."
His turban, he told them, had been given to him by an African prince as a thank-you for getting rid of a troublesome zombie, but they weren't sure they believed this story.
"It's not like anyone would have believed the real story though," Ron said, looking disgusted at the thought of the turban, although those that knew, knew that he was disgusted by what had been underneath it, and he hadn't even seen it.
"What's the real story?" George asked.
"You don't want to know," Harry replied, shaking his head and paling slightly as he tried not to remember what had been under the turban, feeling sick.
"The book will explain. You'll see," Hermione said when Fred opened his mouth to ask again.
For one thing, when Seamus Finnigan asked eagerly to hear how Quirrell had fought off the zombie, Quirrell went pink and started talking about the weather; for another, they had noticed that a funny smell hung around the turban, and the Weasley twins insisted that it was stuffed full of garlic as well, so that Quirrell was protected wherever he went.
"Wish it was just garlic," Harry muttered, trying not to remember the smell of Voldemort's partially decaying head, before tilting his head and snapping his fingers, getting his friends' attention.
What is the chance that the garlic was to hide the smell of the decaying spirit that was possessing him? Hermione and Ron stared at him before Ron responded.
I didn't even think of that.
That makes a lot of sense, no that you mention it, Hermione added.
finally managed to find their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast without getting lost once.
"It took you a week?" Ginny asked.
"Yeah. Didn't you say it took you two?" Ron replied, causing Ginny to blush slightly before she glared at him.
It was lucky that Harry had tea with Hagrid to look forward to, because the Potions lesson turned out to be the worst thing that had happened to him so far.
"So far being the important part of that sentence," Harry muttered. "Wish it was still the worst thing that had happened to me."
Snape didn't dislike Harry
"Are you sure we're talking about the same Snape?" Neville asked.
"Very sure Nev. I don't want to think about there being two Snapes," Harry replied with a dramatic shudder. Those who heard shuddered as well at the thought.
— he hated him.
"Oh, yeah, that's the same Snape," Neville said.
"And I still don't know why he hates me," Harry said loudly, causing the adults who knew about the hate between the Marauders and Snape to glare at Snape.
"Ah, Yes," he said softly, "Harry Potter. Our new —celebrity."
The glares towards Snape increased while Harry just sighed in resignment.
I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses… I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death
"That's actually a decent introduction speech," Remus said.
"Just wait for it," Harry advised.
—if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."
"I take it back," Remus said, seeming taken back.
"Really Severus?" Filius asked.
"You can not call students names," Minerva said.
"You can't insult the students," Pomona said. Severus just scowled.
Hermione Granger was on the edge of her seat and looked desperate to start proving that she wasn't a dunderhead.
"Of course, you noticed that," Hermione said quietly to Harry who just grinned.
"What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"
"How do you expect a first-year to know that? Not even fifth years would know that. That's NEWT material," Tonks asked, while all those who had been in that Gryffindor-Slytherin first-year class shot Hermione glances.
"Draught of Living Death," Fred said absently in a quiet voice, gaining a few looks of surprise from those who had heard; he hadn't taken potions after OWLs and had apparently failed his potions OWL.
Harry glanced at Ron, who looked as stumped as he was; Hermione's hand had shot into the air.
"I take it back. No first year other than Hermione," Tonks said in surprise.
"Hermione is the smartest witch of our age for a reason," Ron told Tonks.
"Tut, tut — fame clearly isn't everything."
"That really wasn't necessary Severus," Minerva hissed, not at all pleased with how the Potions Master had treated her lion.
He ignored Hermione's hand.
"Of course," Harry said.
"He always does," Ron agreed.
Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"
"At least that one was a first-year question. It's not covered until the end of the year, but at least it was first-year material," Remus said with a sigh.
"Stomach of a goat," George said just as quietly as Fred had. This didn't surprise people as much, since George had taken NEWT potions, and it was a first-year question.
He tried not to look at Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle, who were shaking with laughter.
"Which Snape apparently 'didn't notice'," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.
"Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming, eh, Potter?"
"You can't expect him to remember everything in his textbook," Mrs Weasley said.
"Especially when the information wasn't even in first-year books," Amelia added.
"What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?"
"Nothing," George said, sounding uninterested.
"Same plant," Fred added in the same tone. They noticed the stares they were getting and shrugged.
"We have to know our stuff for our pranks," Fred said.
"Especially potions, charms, and transfiguration," George said.
At this, Hermione stood up, her hand stretching toward the dungeon ceiling.
"I don't even know why I'm surprised that you noticed that," Hermione sighed.
"I think Hermione does, though, why don't you try her?"
"I hope you don't talk to all your teachers that way Mr Potter," Minerva said sternly.
"No Professor," Harry said, before adding quietly to their group, "only toads, and occasionally bats." Those students who heard chuckled quietly.
Why aren't you all copying that down?"
"Maybe because you didn't tell them to," Bill said.
Over the noise, Snape said, "And a point will be taken from Gryffindor House for your cheek, Potter."
"Only one point. That's actually not bad," Charlie said thoughtfully.
"Idiot boy!"
"Severus!" many of the teachers shouted. "You can't insult students." Snape just sneered.
"I suppose you added the porcupine quills before taking the cauldron off the fire?"
"How was he meant to know not to though. You didn't tell us anything. You just put the instructions on the board and assumed we knew what we were doing," Harry said loudly, murmurs and nods of agreement occurring through the hall, causing a few more glares to be sent Severus' way.
Neville whimpered as boils started to pop up all over his nose.
Neville rubbed his nose, remembering the pain.
That's another point you've lost for Gryffindor."
"How was that his fault? He was focusing on his own potion," Tonks exclaimed.
"And making sure the students didn't get it wrong is your job, since you're the teacher," Charlie added.
"Don't push it," he muttered, "I've heard Snape can turn very nasty."
Sounds of agreement were heard from three-quarters of the hall.
He'd lost two points for Gryffindor in his very first week.
"I was so naive. Two points is nothing," Harry said to his friends, who nodded, remembering the Norbert incident.
"Cheer up," said Ron, "Snape's always taking points off Fred and George.
"Yeah, but we deserve that."
Like Hagrid, Fang was clearly not as fierce as he looked.
"The ones with the scary names are fine. It's the ones with nice names that you have to watch out for with Hagrid," Charlie said, nodding. The trio exchanged looks.
"Don't we know it," they said.
"Like Fluffy."
"And Norbert."
"And Aragog." Ron shuddered at the mention of the spider, while the group looked at the trio, slightly concerned about how they knew that; they spoke as if from experience.
"Should we ask who Fluffy, Norbert, and Aragog are?" Remus asked.
"You'll see," was the only reply that he got.
"I spent half me life chasin' yer twin brothers away from the forest."
Mrs Weasley glared at the twins again, but the rest of their family, and some of the teachers, didn't. Fred and George didn't seem to notice the glare they were receiving, shrugging it off, having already explained why they went into the forest.
Hagrid, like Ron, told Harry not to worry about it, that Snape liked hardly any of the students.
The teachers all glared at Severus again, while Dumbledore sent him a look that clearly told him that they would be speaking.
"But he seemed to really hate me."
"You'd think I'd be used to that emotions. After living with the Dursleys for ten years and all," Harry commented absently, causing a growl from Snuffles and Remus at the reminder of his relatives.
"I liked him a lot — great with animals."
Charlie beamed; he had always looked up to Hagrid while he had been at school, so hearing that meant a lot to him.
GRINGOTTS BREAK-IN LATEST
Kingsley, Moody, and Amelia all sighed and shook their heads. They hadn't managed to catch whoever had broken in, and still had no clue who could have done it.
It might've been happening while we were there!"
"Bloody Quirrell," Harry muttered under his breath, quiet enough that neither Remus nor Sirius, as Snuffles, could hear.
"And so, it begins," Ron groaned at the same time.
Had that been what the thieves were looking for?
"Yes," the trio muttered.
And did Hagrid know something about Snape that he didn't want to tell Harry?
"You're so curious," Ginny said, shaking her head.
"You get that from both of your parents," Remus said with a sigh; it was hard enough trying to keep up with either James or Lily when one of them was investigating something, let alone when they were together.
The teachers all sighed as well, remembering how curious Lily Evans and James Potter had been.
After a few minutes of allowing discussion among the students, Filius cast the spell to continue the reading.