Harry spotted Madame Pomphrey making her way down to him and wondered if it was too late to simply run and hide. One glance to either side showed that Ron and Hermione clearly knew what he was thinking and weren't going to let him run from this.
"Come on Mr Potter. We're going to the hospital wing for that check-up that I mentioned," Madame Pomphrey said.
"Are you sure I have to?" he asked. It's not that he didn't like Madame Pomphrey, he actually quite liked her, he just despised the hospital wing and how often he ended up in there; especially since Madame Pomphrey almost always made him spend the night. He was in there so much, and spent the night so often, that she had told him she would get a name plaque for his bed if he ended up in there again.
"Yes, I am sure. It's for your own good." Harry sighed but nodded, pushing himself to his feet. Hermione and Ron both rose to their feet as well and stood at his sides, silently telling him that they were coming too and that nothing he could say would change their minds. He sighed again; out of everyone though, they were the two that he wouldn't mind finding out his whole medical history; they were there or heard the stories behind the situations that caused most of the ones he got at school anyway. The trio followed the matron out of the hall, heading quickly to the hospital wing.
They didn't get very far through the corridors before Mrs Weasley, Remus, and Snuffles caught up to them. Harry sighed quietly; he really didn't want anyone other than Ron and Hermione to find out about all his injuries, especially the ones he got when he was younger. But if he had to choose who he definitely didn't want there, these three would be at the top of the list, solely because all three of them were very protective of him.
"We're coming with you Harry," Remus said. Harry stopped and turned to face the two adults and the dog.
"Why?"
"Because we care about you," Mrs Weasley said.
"No," he said before he continued walking. Clearly, they didn't get the message as they continued to follow him, and he stopped again.
"I do not want to have this check-up. I am barely allowing Hermione and Ron to come too, and that is solely due to how close we are. But I am not turning this check-up into a show. So no, you three can't come." He crossed his arms and stared at them, showing them that he wasn't willing to budge.
"We care about you Harry and just want to make sure you're ok," Remus said.
"I'm fine. This is purely because Madame Pomphrey isn't convinced."
"We just want to make sure you're healthy Harry," Mrs Weasley said.
"And I said you're not coming. And I'm not budging on this," Harry replied, his expression turning stony as he stared at them. Snuffles whined and gave Harry his best puppy-dog eyes.
"No Snuffles." Harry's stare turned into a glare and both Remus and Snuffles instantly backed off; he didn't know it, but his expression was the exact same as his dad's would be before he truly lost his temper.
"Fine. We'll wait for you back in the hall. Come on Molly, he won't change his mind," Remus relented, turning around, and placing his hand in Snuffles' fur. Harry watched them head back for a few moments before he smoothed his face out and turned back around and started walking again, Madame Pomphrey, Ron and Hermione following him. They made it to the hospital wing with no more interruptions.
"Alright Harry, on to your bed please," Madame Pomphrey directed. Hermione and Ron both raised an eyebrow at the use of your in the sentence, although neither of them commented. Harry had joked about having his own bed, and they knew he was on good terms with the matron due to how much he ended up in there, so they weren't honestly surprised.
"Yes Poppy," Harry replied, hoping onto the bed he always used, at the end of the wing. The bed was pushed against two walls and had a window above the bedside table, meaning he had privacy at the far end of the ward, and he had access to the outside world, even if that access was through a pane of glass. He sat up against the bedhead and watched as Madame Pomphrey bustled around before approaching him.
"Alright, I'm going to run a deep scan on you, which will document all the injuries and illnesses you've ever had and indicate how well they healed. If you get uncomfortable with Miss Granger or Mr Weasley being here at any time during the check-up, say so and I will put us in a privacy bubble or send them out of the wing," Madame Pomphrey said, holding her wand in front of her. Harry nodded and closed his eyes as he felt the rush of magic wash over him. He slowly opened his eyes open a few moments later and saw the parchment that was appearing from the end of Madame Pomphrey's wand, and was honestly not surprised by how long the parchment was getting, even though the other three in the wing seemed to be. The parchment eventually finished appearing, ending at about three feet, and Madame Pomphrey began looking over it.
"This shows that you've had a couple of broken bones, mainly your arms and wrists, throughout your childhood that weren't set but healed correctly, and also lists multiple concussions that you've gained. It also says that you've had a large number of bruises that healed much quicker than normal and mentions two cracked ribs that you got at the same time but healed within a few days," Madame Pomphrey began.
"How did they all heal so quickly?" Hermione asked.
"I have a theory, but I will need to run another test to check if my theory is correct. At the moment, I am mostly concerned about the malnutrition that you have, which isn't as bad as it could be, most likely due to you having full access to food for ten months of the year for the past few years and thanks to your magic preventing all of the side effects of malnutrition, as well as the fact that you are slightly anaemic. You also have a low count of white blood cells, which makes it much more surprising that you haven't ever gotten sick, and also adds more evidence to my theory.
"The good news is that all of these things can be fixed with a strict potion regime. You will need nutrition potions with every meal and a vitamins potion every morning and night, which I will have you take with breakfast and dinner. I am also prescribing you with two potions to help get your blood cell count back to where it needs to be; one needs to be taken in the morning when you wake up, or with breakfast, and the other at night before you go to bed. A house elf will deliver each potion when you need to take it," Madame Pomphrey explained as she read through the parchment. Harry groaned but knew not to complain or argue; Madame Pomphrey would win every time.
"If you say so Poppy," he said instead of the complaint he wanted to make. The hospital wing was filled with silence for a minute or so as Madame Pomphrey continued to read his results before she looked up sharply at him.
"What is this about a basilisk bite and basilisk poisoning?" Madame Pomphrey demanded.
"In second year, when I went down to save Ginny from the Chamber, the heir called the basilisk and told it to kill me. I used the sword of Gryffindor to kill the basilisk, like I told everyone, but I may have neglected to mention that the basilisk bit me when I stabbed it through the mouth. Fawkes was there and cried on the wound, which is the only reason I didn't die down there," Harry replied, making sure to not look at either of his friends.
"You were bitten? And you didn't say anything?" Hermione demanded.
"Yeah. It didn't seem important to mention. I mean, it was healed and there was other things to worry about," Harry replied, trying to defend himself. His reasoning was the truth, even if he had neglected to mention that he had also left it out for the sole reason of that he knew that Hermione and Ron would freak out. That, and the fact that he had still been getting used to the fact that there was people that cared about him when he got injured, even after two years at Hogwarts. Madame Pomphrey huffed but didn't say anything even as Ron and Hermione hugged him tightly.
"Don't leave anything out if anything like that happens again. I don't care if you think it's not important, we want to know," Ron said, and Hermione nodded against Harry in agreement. There was silence in the wing again until Madame Pomphrey reached the area that was clearly about the injuries he received in the graveyard.
"Mr Potter. Why does this say that you had cruciatus exposure. And why did you not inform me of this after it happened so you could be healed properly?" Madame Pomphrey demanded. Harry felt himself tense slightly, at both the reminder and at her use of his surname, which she only did in the hospital wing when she was annoyed at him. At the same time, both Ron and Hermione stilled in their hug.
"Cruciatus exposure?" Hermione asked weakly. Harry released a slow sigh before answering.
"Voldemort used the Cruciatus curse on me, multiple times, in the graveyard," he said quietly. That was two of the three things he never wanted to get out that his best friends now knew, and he knew that the third, that Voldemort had used the Imperius on him, would come out during the reading as well, since it had happened in the graveyard between bouts of Crucio.
"Oh Harry," Hermione sobbed, squeezing him tighter.
"If that ever happens again Harry, I want to be told so that you can get the necessary potions for nerve damage and cruciatus exposure. Have you been experiencing any shakes or pains from sharp or sudden movements since the exposure?"
"Pains? No. Shakes? No more than I normally do," he replied.
"Normally do?" Madame Pomphrey asked.
"My hands almost always shake. It's one reason why I'm so bad at potions, other than Snape and the Slytherins. I can't hold a knife steady enough to make all the delicate cuts and slices needed," Harry explained, withdrawing one of his hands and holding it out to Madame Pomphrey, showing how even now there was a slight shake in it.
"How long has this happened?" Madame Pomphrey asked. Harry shrugged, pulling his hand back.
"Ages. Since I started school at five, I think, was when it first became noticeable and more frequent. I know it got worse after I entered the Wizarding World and started at Hogwarts, becoming almost constant." Madame Pomphrey looked the sheet in front of her before looking back up.
"You have no physical illness or disorder that could cause this, but I have an idea of what it could be, if you would let me do another few tests, once we've finished with this." Harry nodded his agreement. It didn't take much longer for Madame Pomphrey to finish looking through the test results.
"I am concerned about one other part of these results. This says that you've been regularly exposed to a blood quill and have the scars on your hand to prove it. This mainly worries me for two reasons. The first is the amount of blood loss that you would be suffering for the scars to be so deep. The second is who is causing this and why you haven't come to me for healing yet."
"Is that what a quill that uses my blood to write with is called?" he asked.
"Yes, Harry. A blood that uses the writer's blood is called a blood quill. They aren't classified as Dark artefacts, although it has been a debate for decades about whether they should be classified as such or not. At the moment, they are restricted items and only Gringotts and high-level Ministry employees are allowed to have access to them," Madame Pomphrey explained.
"Umbridge forces us to use them in our detentions with her. I haven't told any teacher because if any of the teachers complain about it, the next educational decree to be passed will say that anyone who complains against Umbridge will be automatically sacked, and you and the other teachers are too good to lose because of the toad. And I haven't come to get it healed because I have detention until it sinks in, meaning she won't let me out until she's sure it's scarred enough," Harry explained.
"When you say, us…" Madame Pomphrey began, trailing off in question.
"At least all of the Gryffindor students who have had detentions have had to use them, and that's at least half of the house. A couple of us ordered blood replenishing potions, bandages, and Murtlap Essence and have them stored above the fireplace for anyone who has detention with her," Hermione explained. Madame Pomphrey sighed.
"I can provide the things you need to do basic healing for you to store in your common room and will have house elves put some in the other common rooms in case it isn't just the Gryffindors. Even if you can't have them healed fully, I can provide the means to prevent them from getting infected and stop them hurting too badly. Unfortunately, Madame Umbridge is fully within her rights, due to her position in the Ministry, to have them and use them, and there are no laws about who those who are licensed to have them can use them on," Madame Pomphrey said.
"Thank you, Poppy. And it's not just the Gryffindors. I know that Luna, Padma, Michael, Ernie, Hannah, and Justin have all had to use them in detentions as well, and I'm sure there are more of their housemates who have had to as well. But everyone I know who has had detentions with her haven't had as many as me," Harry said. Madame Pomphrey sighed again but made a note to send the needed things to the common rooms with some house elves that night.
"Now, I have two more tests that I would like to conduct. One if a deep mental scan, to see if you have any underlying mental health conditions. I believe that your constant shaking is due to an anxiety, either general or social, but I am not a mind healer and cannot diagnose either condition by just looking and talking to you. This scan will tell me if my theory is correct and will allow me to help you handle it if I am correct. The second scan is a magic scan, to see how much of your magic is actually available for you to use and how much is put in to your immune system. I believe that much more of your magic is put into your immune system than most as a survival instinct due to your home life, which is why you heal so quickly and don't get sick even with your poor white blood cell count," Madame Pomphrey explained.
Harry nodded his consent and Madame Pomphrey waved her wand over him twice more. Both tests caused sheets of parchment to appear, both sheets of parchment much shorter than the first one. Madame Pomphrey looked over the deep mental scan first.
"Are you comfortable having Mr Weasley and Miss Granger here for this part of the conversation?" Madame Pomphrey asked. Harry released a slow breath before nodding.
"This shows signs in your brain that you suffer from social anxiety disorder and PTSD, which is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Can you please tell me which of these you have experienced or do experience so that I can work out how severe each of these disorders are so that I can help you manage them." Harry nodded, closing his eyes so he didn't have to look at the matron or his friends while he answered the questions.
"You simply have to nod or shake your head for each question. We'll start with social anxiety. Do you experience any of these persistently? Fear of situations in which you may be judged." Nod.
"Worry about embarrassing or humiliating yourself." Nod.
"An intense fear of interacting or talking with strangers." A pause before a small nod.
"Fear that others will notice that you look anxious." A shake of the head.
"Avoiding doing things or speaking to people out of fear of embarrassment." A small shrug and head shake.
"Avoiding situations where you might be the centre of attention." Nod.
"Having anxiety in anticipation of a feared activity or event." Nod.
"Enduring a social situation with intense fear or anxiety." Nod.
"Spending time after a social situation analysing your performance and identifying flaws in your interactions." A pause before a slow head shake.
"Expecting the worst possible consequences from a negative experience during a social situation." A head shake.
"Do you experience any of these physical symptoms, especially during social events or when around groups of people? Blushing." Small nod.
"Fast heartbeat." Small nod.
"Trembling." Nod.
"Sweating." A head shake.
"Upset stomach or nausea." A head shake.
"Trouble catching your breath." A pause before a head shake.
"Dizziness or light-headedness." A pause and a small nod.
"Feeling that your mind has gone blank." Nod.
"Muscle tension." A small nod.
"I'm going to ask you about things that you may have experienced due to PTSD now. Are you still comfortable for Miss Granger and Mr Weasley to be here?" Harry nodded, still not opening his eyes.
"Alright. Please simply nod or shake your head in response to each question. Do you experience intrusive memories in any of the following ways? Recurrent, unwanted, distressing memories of the traumatic event." A small head shake.
"Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again, or flashbacks." A small, quick nod.
"Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event." Nod.
"Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event." Nod.
"Do you try to do any of the following? Try to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event." Nod.
"Avoid places, activities or people that remind you of the traumatic event." A pause and shrug followed by a small head shake.
"Have you experienced, or do you experience any of the following changes in mood? Negative thoughts about yourself, other people or the world." A small nod.
"Hopelessness about the future." Nod.
"Memory problems, including not remembering important aspects of the traumatic event." A head shake.
"Difficulty maintaining close relationships." A pause and a slow head shake.
"Feeling detached from family and friends." A slow, small nod.
"Lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed." Head shake.
"Difficulty experiencing positive emotions." A small nod.
"Feeling emotionally numb." A pause and then a head shake.
"Have you experienced, or do you experience any of the following physical and emotional reactions? Being easily startled or frightened." Nod.
"Always being on guard for danger." Nod.
"Self-destructive behaviour, such as drinking too much or driving too fast." Head shake.
"Trouble sleeping." Nod.
"Trouble concentrating." Nod.
"Irritability, angry outbursts or aggressive behaviour." A small pause and then a nod.
"Overwhelming guilt or shame." Nod.
"Thank you, Harry. There are many options that you have to help you deal with both of these disorders. You can help your PTSD by seeing a mind healer, who is like a muggle therapist. With your social anxiety, there are more options. Firstly, there is the option of, again, seeing a mind healer. Another option is to try medication to try and help reduce your anxiety, although each type of medication doesn't work for everyone and this option overall isn't always something that helps everyone. Other ways that people often use to treat social anxiety disorder is to make lifestyle changes to try and reduce situations that induce anxiety and increase situations that release feel-good hormones in your brain.
"All of these options are totally optional and completely up to you to choose whether to use or not. I would recommend seeing a mind healer and trying medication, but it is completely up to you and whatever makes you feel comfortable. You can always try something and stop if it makes you uncomfortable, makes you feel worse, or doesn't feel like it helps," Madame Pomphrey said.
"Can I … can I think about it?" Harry asked.
"Take as much time as you need. Just know, that I am always here to help you, Harry. Even if you just need to talk. Now, would you like to hear the results from your magic scan?" Harry swallowed before nodding. Madame Pomphrey looked over the results before speaking.
"This test shows that 40% of your magic is being pumped into your immune system, compared to the usual 5-10%. This is what gives you such an increased healing speed on top of the increased healing speed that most witches and wizards have, and what caused all your broken, cracked, or fractured bones to heal in the correct positions despite them not being set, and what caused all of your injuries to heal so fast. It has the added benefit of fortifying your immune system so much that it prevents you from getting sick despite your low white blood cell count. All of this means that you have only ever had access to 60% of your magic in your everyday spell casting, rather than the 90-95% that most people have access to," Madame Pomphrey explained.
"Wait, so you're saying that I haven't had access to all of my magic for my whole life?" he double checked.
"Yes, Harry, that is what I'm saying."
"You're saying that I faced Voldemort, multiple times, without access to my full magical core?" he asked.
"Yes, that is correct, Harry."
"You're saying that I won the Triwizard Tournament, against people three years older than me, without access to my full magical core?" he asked.
"Correct."
"And you're saying that I managed to produce a fully corporeal Patronus, which drove off a hundred dementors, at the age of 13, without access to my full magical core?" he asked.
"Yes, Harry, that is what I'm saying," Madame Pomphrey said, even as she started at him in surprise at the comment about dementors. The trio stared at the matron in shock before they all burst into hysterical laughter. When they recovered a few minutes later, Ron was the first to speak.
"Leave it to you to do something that no one would believe possible, without even having access to your full magical core, Harry."
"I'm just that good. But in all honesty Poppy, is there a way for me to get access to the rest of my magical core. Or at least gain access to the usual percentage?"
"If your immune system is completely healed, meaning your blood cell counts get back to where they need to be, and you don't get into any situation like you did in the first 10 years of your life which caused your magic to fortify your immune system so much, your magic should stop pouring so much of it into your immune system. Now that I can see how much of your magic is being pushed into your immune system, I'm going to add an immune booster to your potions regime, which needs to be taken every night before bed, and a blood booster, which is a more potent version of a blood replenishing potion, which will need to be taken every second day with breakfast."
"So, it's all on the potions?"
"It's all on the potions," Madame Pomphrey agreed. Harry sighed but nodded his understanding.
"Could you write all those instructions down? I won't remember them otherwise. And can you label all the potions, at least for the first week or so, so I know which is which?" he asked. Madame Pomphrey nodded.
"I'll send a copy to the elves as well so that they can deliver the potions when you need them as well. Here you go Harry," she said, handing over a list of instructions. Harry gave her a smile of thanks, folding the list and putting it in a pocket.
"Come on, it has to have been half an hour, or almost that long," Hermione said, pulling Harry off the bed.
"As long as no one bombards me over my test results, I'm happy to go back," Harry said, letting Hermione drag him across the wing.
"No one can demand you tell them your medical results. I will have your nutritional potion and vitamin potion put next to your plate at dinner Harry. And if you decide how you want to treat your mental health, I will be happy to help, with whatever you decide, even if that decision is to simply keep going how you are. Also, I would like to conduct a follow up appointment before the end of term, to see how much improvement the potions have on your health, at which time I may be able to adjust the doses. I will send you a note closer to the next appointment," Madame Pomphrey said.
"Thank you, Poppy," Harry said, sending a smile over his shoulder as his friends led him out of the hospital wing and back down to the Great Hall, Madame Pomphrey following slowly behind them. They reached the Great Hall and the three friends quickly settled themselves onto their couch.
"Is everything ok Harry?" Remus asked. Harry grinned.
"Yep. Everything's great. I told you, I'm fine." Hermione and Ron rolled their eyes, but didn't say anything, knowing that what they had found out, that Harry was definitely not fine, was Harry's secret to share, or more likely, to not share. Remus' eyes scanned over Harry before he turned away, seemingly happy with the answer and what he had seen. Ron reached an arm around Harry, resting it over Harry's shoulders in a brotherly gesture as Filius sent the charm at the book once again.