~Chapter Forty Six~

Eye of the Hurricane

I'm so stubborn;
It's how I got here.
So alone, feels like forever,
Wanna swim away and breathe the open air,
But I feel so afraid!

Like a hurricane,
It takes everything from me.
Wake me from this dream!

Then I hear you say –

Hang on.

~Hang On, by Plumb

Disclaimer: Me No Own; You No Sue.

I need to protect Haruhi!

Wind rushed through silent ears when I ripped out of his arms and two steps forward, however, cancelling out the sounds of her satisfaction. Resolute, I breathed in sharply and tensed, dropping into a position that Caleb would take before going on a morning run, arms and legs curled toward the ground. With that in mind, I darted to the edge of the cliff, deaf to the frightened voices of Tamaki and Takashi loudly screaming at me to STOP. My mind could not process anything other than the flashing images of Haruhi falling into the black abyss, down below. I could hear her, could feel her hand in mine when I dragged her down the hallways at Ouran High School, toward the Third Music Room. Laughter whispered in my ears. Warmth spread through me.

Something in me shifted, like dozens of forgotten puzzle pieces clicking together for the first time in years, and then…

I jumped.

Sammy's P.O.V.

When I bolted from the cliff, stubbornly leaping over its edge and into the air, I did not think of anything or anyone of importance. No memories or worries or voices plagued me. Nothing. My mind dropped into complete silence, numbed with the shock of jumping into endless water, and I relished the amazing feeling of being freed from the cage created by the rest of the world. I lived in that one moment, and only that one moment, because I was alone and numb to the pains of living in fear, regret, and guilt. A girl without her past, I could not even remember my own name.

Somewhere, thousands of miles away and in another century past, Takashi roared, "Sammy…!"

Who is Sammy? I mused, before mindlessly pushing the unimportant thought into the darkness clouding my memories. No one said anything else, no one screamed out in desperate pain, no one called for me. So I zeroed in on my new goal: Find Haruhi. Find Haruhi. Find Haruhi.

Heart beating softly in my ears and throat, I continued to kick both legs in a repeated motion, mindlessly pushing through the water in an attempt to make sense of the wondrous world that I discovered myself to be in. Castles made of pink coral and filled with beautiful fishes, for miles and miles! The water was warm, and blue, and completely silent, though, making it difficult to discern the beginning from the end. Infinity drifted silently on, on, on, on. Nothing hinted at where I should head next. No noises, no smells, nothing…

Still, I continued searching for something, someone, anyone in the blue water, flying without wings. Water pounded in every single brain cell, pushed deeper and deeper inside, and I wondered: Where is…?

Up ahead, in the midst of water, bubbles, and silence, I noticed her small form drifting further and further into the black depths of the endless ocean. A small river of bubbles escaped from her nostrils and parted lips, coloring her descent with circles of white and purple and pink. Her hair waved around her slackened face, caressing too pale skin with chocolate brown locks, and her slender limbs stretched out beside her, limp and useless in her state of unconsciousness. She looked sweet, almost peaceful suspended gracefully in the water. Like Sleeping Beauty.

…Haruhi!

I instinctually curled two straightened palms at my sides and kicked both feet back, intent upon reaching her before the breath left me. Old memories of learning how to swimming zipped to the surface from where I buried them long ago, a soft record of voices repeatedly screaming praise and encouragement at me, pointing out what I could do if I set my mind to something. And I could hear Daddy like it was yesterday: You, Sammy, are my stubborn, brave, brilliant girl! Show the world that nothing is impossible. Show the world who you are…!

A sudden burst of speed exploded from within me. I moved through the warm water with surprising ease and propelled myself forward without much difficulty, finding my unused skills to be rusty but not enough to hinder me. Haruhi, who was almost thirty feet further down than I, suddenly seemed much closer and within reach. She was so close…! Mere seconds passed, and I was within two feet of her, close enough to touch her hair but far enough off to wonder if I could possibly do what I needed to do now. Reaching the surface would be difficult, but…

My mother shoved her head above the water in the front seat of the car one more time, inhaled, and screamed through her last breath: Your kleine Schwester! Protect her, Sammy! Please…!

Stubbornly, I gathered in her my arms (it hurts, it hurts, it hurts) and then slowly moved upward, taking her unconscious form with me. Her weight, however, soon started to push back, sending her body sinking against my chest and stomach. She was not heavy and weighed much less than me, yet I could not keep her afloat when attempting to swim us up to the surface. Gravity would not allow it and although I tried to fight it, I could not keep swimming, too lost within the failure of mind, body, and soul. Oxygen escaped from my nose and made it hard to concentrate above the desperate plea that I breathe through parted lips. My chest ached from the lack of fresh air, my vision blackened to match the violet hues of the ocean, and pain rippled through me. It hurts!

Minutes passed, in which silence, oxygen, and gentle peace were scarce. My mind stuttered to a stop, shut down by the waves of pain attacking my sensitive insides, and I blacked out without a worry or care. It was not until I suddenly recognized the fact that I could feel the water moving away that I miraculously regained consciousness. My brained whirred with so many confusing thoughts, but above all else, I immediately latched onto the fact that I could not feel Haruhi in my arms anymore.

So I panicked and started to fight against whatever – or whoever – was swiftly swimming us upwards, toward the light. I kicked out in fright, desperate to be released, and pushed into the strong chest that curved against my shoulders, sensing that this person was strong and stubborn enough to be a man. My mind screamed out instinctively that Koji'd returned to claim his prize. Arms tightened at my waist when I momentarily stiffened, however, and I blinked repeatedly in shock. Bubbles escaped through parted lips as my eyes connected suddenly with two familiar silver eyes. Takashi…?!

Suddenly, Takashi and I exploded from within the depths of the ocean water, which cooled with the coming of night. I was instantly frozen stiff, chilled to the bone, but I clawed into his thick shoulders and lifted myself further up, into the night air. Oxygen zipped into my pained, hot lungs; I gasped loudly, feeling lightheaded and desperate for air. He released his breath and inhaled sharply, too, before leaning down and kissing me, a painful, almost furious passion hissing out from between his lips.

After what seemed to be eternity, Takashi pulled back, his silver eyes connected to mine with surprising intensity. Searching my eyes and making certain that I could hear him growl – "You are in heaps of trouble, Samantha." His Japanese accent, coupled with the lack of honorific or my nickname, sent shivers of another kind crawling down my neck.

…Holy H-E-Double Hockey Sticks!

Shocked at his reaction, I stared straight back into his emotional silver eyes, and then hesitantly reached upward to touch the bruised lips left in his wake. I was so stunned and off kilter that I did not notice him carrying me and walking toward the beach, where the rest of the Host Club waited in tense silence. My eyes, which gazed off into the distance, quickly locked with two shadowed figures following behind Takashi: Tamaki and Haruhi.

Softly, I sighed with relief, tears brimming in my eyes and collecting in the corners as my emotions rushed back in full force. She was actually safe! Haruhi was quiet, true, but healthy enough to glare at Tamaki, clearly pissed off about something or another. What? Who knows! A typical interaction between Haruhi and Tamaki was welcomed, though, in my opinion! It only served to relax tense shoulders and slacken deep frown lines into a quiet smile. Yes, I was rather worried about her condition, since her back hit the water first and her skin could be bruised, but I couldn't bring myself to interrupt the silence. It was nice.

Until that lovely point in time when complete chaos exploded within our group of close friends, anyway…

My little brothers, Hikaru and Kaoru, swiftly stalked forward with an uncharacteristically grim Mitsukuni at their heels. All three faces were colored with matching expressions of hurt, worry, fury, and pain. As expected, though, the Schatten König seemed to be entirely unaffected by the situation, playing it off with nonchalance and his mysteriously shining glasses. But I could tell by the shift of his shoulders and the deep lines in his forehead that something was wrong, very wrong. He didn't seem particularly annoyed with us, either, so what could it possibly be?

His clenched hands, I realized then, were shaking.

Kyoya is…worried…about us?

After setting Haruhi down, Tamaki pressed his face to hers and furiously demanded, "What could possibly possess you to do something that stupid, Haruhi-chan?" He reached forward and grabbed her slender shoulders between his large hands, which seemed to be shaking in anger – and in fear.

My boyfriend remained silent, much like the first time I met him, and made no move to release me. Normally, I liked to be in his arms and would have snuggled further into his protective hold, but this time, I could not stand being carried like a pretty little princess; it made me seem young and careless. Seeing Haruhi released also fueled the irritation burning in my veins, and I began to squirm as a sign of wanting to be released from his strong arms. Takashi refused to comply with these unspoken demands, however, and instead tightened his hold to an almost painful embrace, making certain that I could not escape. But I continued to struggle uselessly, mindlessly, in his arms. Verdammt!

"Be still," Takashi quietly muttered to me, voice empty save an inflection of sternness that sent hot shivers down my spine. A strangely dark promise whispered in this strict command, which stirred the butterflies in my stomach into an unstoppable frenzy and made it much harder to breathe.

As you can probably surmise, though, I did not listen to him…

Heart pounding, I slowly eased myself down into his arms and prepared to fight back against my captor, who seemed to be stronger than Goku and Vegeta combined! Gray eyes remained dark and unblinking, staring straight ahead, and did not flicker once in my direction, though I eyed him with interest. A sneaking suspicion that Takashi sensed everything that I thought in that moment made itself known. My boyfriend had always been an observant and cunning ninja! While I did not want to force his hand, Chibi Sammy insisted that I make another (stupid, fruitless, or pointless, take your pick) attempt at escape.

When I moved to kick and/or pinch him, however, Takashi moved, lightning fast, to pinch me on my rear instead. Eyes wide, I yelped in surprise at this unexpectedly physical chastisement, and stiffened in his arms. My nose, ears, and cheeks colored tomato red in embarrassment. I could not believe that my sweet and supposedly considerate boyfriend just touched that part of me! What made it more embarrassing, however, was when Takashi gently smoothed his hot hand against the tender flesh and rubbed it softly to soothe the pain inflicted by his fingers just seconds ago.

My face – and also somewhere much, much lower – warmed at his touch. What the fuck…?!

"What could make you want to put yourself in that much danger, Haruhi?" Tamaki continued, with his eyes narrowed in pain and his velvet voice quiet, subdued for perhaps the first time in his life. He sounded broken, like Naruto did when Sasuke left Konoha – like Sasuke, however, Haruhi did not really care. She did not appear to have noticed the loss of her normal honorific, either, which only served to show everyone else just how much Tamaki worried about her…

"Sammy-chan was in trouble!" Haruhi quickly defended her lack of sensible thinking, her hair dropping softly into her dark brown eyes, a sure sign of her impending explosion. She breathed in and out through flared nostrils. "Should I have left her alone and waited idly by while two handsy drunksharassed her?"

"No!" He responded, emphatically, and with his shoulders set firmly against the verbal onslaught from the normally polite young woman. A pained scowl tightened his lips and his head whipped back and forth in denial, before Tamaki sternly exclaimed, "Don't you see? It would have been much smarter to run away and find help, Haruhi!"

Annoyed that Tamaki would stoop low enough to question her intelligence, Haruhi reared back and jerked her arms out of his hands to back further away. A primal snarl etched itself into her stretched lips, but Haruhi managed to keep it in check – just barely, though – and asked, "How could I think that far ahead when Sammy-chan was in danger?"

Ever the fool, Tamaki could not find the sense to drop the conversation and instead darkly pointed out, "But Sammy-senpai was in danger and managed to think that far ahead by sending Kotoko-senpai to find help!" He glared down at the startled girl, his frustrations leaking through his calm façade, breaking it into a million itty bitty pieces. "You do not know martial arts like Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai do!"

Tamaki was swiftly losing his temper, which actually managed to scare me more than his strange and decidedly dark demeanor. He was an exact replica of Shadow Steve, only with less control and less consideration for the consequences. My friend, Tamaki, endeavored to be the epitome of the calm, graceful, and elegant nobleman, but this young man –

No. This was not Tamaki, who lived and breathed rainbows, unicorns, cream soda, and apple pie. Our Tamaki never raised his voice – or arms – against another person in anger. In all of the months of knowing him, I'd not heard of Tamaki losing his temper before! He was always kind, considerate, and polite. We, as close friends, could always expect Tamaki to cheer us up. That Tamaki could develop a propensity for anger seemed like something that I should have known, should have cared enough to find out. We were supposed to be friends, but I did not know anything about the Dark Side of him. Seeing Tamaki suddenly transform from Anakin Skywalker to Darth Vader was surreal. Pretty damn scary, too!

And I did not like that at all…

"Yeah," I casually agreed with Tamaki, who looked pleased with my unexpected support, at least until I shifted against my silent boyfriend to face Haruhi and softly whispered, "Although I wish that it hadn't happened at all, I'm really glad that Haruhi-chan here arrived to help me…"

Slowly, Haruhi permitted her tense facial features to relax into a sincere smile. She unclenched her small hand and lifted it to touch mine, nothing but skin brushing against skin, and explained, "You've always been there for me, and I wanted to be there for you, too, Sammy." Her slender pinky finger looped itself around mine, sealing it with a promise like Sarah and I used to do so many years ago.

Protect your sister, Sammy.

My heart clenched but not in pain. Instead, I could feel it pounding inside of me, preparing to escape, to spread its wings and fly off into the setting sun. Freedom was so amazingly close that I could almost taste it. I wanted that freedom, but first I needed to make her understand, to know the truth. Blue eyes searched hers, silently begging the younger girl to understand what I really meant when I leaned forward, stared directly into her wide chocolate eyes, into her beautiful soul. Needed her to know what I meant when I earnestly said –

"I'm sorry, Haruhi-chan."

"Me, too…"

Our happy moment of forgiveness and friendship did not last long, however, because Tamaki rudely interrupted with words of his own. He grabbed her delicate chin in his left hand and lifted it upwards, glaring at her. "How could two sheltered girls like you and Sammy-senpai hope to fight off two men who only wished to hurt you?" Shades of violet slammed into garnet with unrestrained fury.

Sheltered? I furiously echoed, incredulous enough with his choice of words that I could not hear the last part of his sentence, which changed absolutely everything and would have made it much easier to understand why Tamaki, Takashi, and other Hosts were so upset. Instead, I could only fall victim to my anger and inwardly growled: How dare Tamaki make such assumptions! He knows what Haruhi and I have been through! She lost her Okaa-san, and I lost…everyone…

Brown eyes were serious, glowing garnet in the light of the setting sun, and her normally healthy skin flushed dark red with anger. "This has nothing to do with being female or male!" Haruhi heatedly argued, the venomous words practically exploding from her mouth with the force engraved into each one.

Clearly, Haruhi was saddened by the thought of another person, particularly the person who'd managed to capture her heart, thinking this lowly of her. Sheltered? Certainly not! She did not want to be considered naïve and oblivious to the darkness present in the world. She hated being seen as a small, weak, little girl that could not fend for herself without the help of these young men. She'd worked much too hard to earn a position of respect at Ouran High School – and within the Host Club, too – to back down without giving someone a piece of her mind!

"Everyone is equal!" Strong images of freedom, equality, and change bubbled to the surface, called forth by the passion in her words, and I nodded at her in agreement. Ever the American, I smirked proudly at everyone and stubbornly declared, "There is no real difference between genders because women can accomplish everything that men can!"

We can usually do it better, too, but I digress…

"Exactly," Haruhi loudly continued, spurred onward by the support in my voice, my apologies given to her just moments before, and the stronger bonds of friendship forged between us. "At that point in time, I really didn't have the time to think about gender and –"

"THINK ABOUT IT, YOU IDIOTS!" Tamaki interrupted, his violet eyes wide and shaking with the torrent of emotions whirling around inside of him. His head swiveled to face me, all signs of friendly charm evaporated from within his gaze. "You would do well to remember that you are not in America, Senpai – Japan upholds vastly different values about the differences between men and women." He whirled around to face Haruhi, then me, and then right back to Haruhi again. "Girls are weaker, slower, and could not possibly stand tall enough to fight off two grown men!"

Upon hearing all of the sexist implications in his speech, Haruhi immediately stiffened, back ramrod straight and head bowed, her brown eyes narrowed at him in disgust. "I will apologize for causing trouble for you and the others, Senpai, but…" She trailed off, too infuriated with the actions of Tamaki and his friends to continue without digging herself into a much deeper hole.

"…we should not be scolded for anything else!" I finished her thoughts for her, however, my mouth twisted into a snarl. Feeling embarrassed and, in my confusion, defensive made it worse. Why shouldn't I channel the Big, Bad Wolf, Paul Lahote, right then and there? 'Cuz being Seth Clearwater certainly wouldn't help anything now!

Although Takashi remained silent, I sensed that my stern-not-sweet boyfriend agreed with everything that Tamaki previously said to us, even the part about girls being weaker than men. I knew, deep down, that Takashi was not the typical teenage boy. He was a nobleman, raised to be stronger and smarter than his enemies, and to protect others, especially women and children. But I could fend for myself!

…Okay, okay!

Sometimes I could fend for myself and other times, well…

God, I just did not want to be seen as a piece of property, something that could be owned. I did not want to be owned by Takashi! No, I wanted him to love and to trust me. While I did need his help on occasion, I wanted him to know that I could think for myself, and that I could help him out, too. We were not dating for the fun of it. No Spring Flings for us! Takashi and I were in this for the long haul, with the endgame of Death 'Til Us Part and Happily Ever After.

When I mentioned these thoughts, however, blindly and stupidly marching onward, I could hear only the stunned silence of the Hosts. My thoughts, usually hidden until too late, were suddenly being broadcasted for all to hear, brought forth by another brush with death. Takashi stiffened, his shoulders tensed under the verbal abuse that I hurled, which included the proclamation that Haruhi and I were not merely Baby Making Machines. Fuck You Very Much!

What I did not mention, however, was that Haruhi and I did want to be married eventually. She really liked Tamaki, though it pained her to admit having feelings for the idiotic Frenchman, and I loved Takashi with everything in me. Starting another family with Takashi, like Mutti did with Daddy, would be wonderful, but I personally wanted to accomplish something other than getting married and raising children. Neither of us wanted to be Trophy Wives, either. We wanted to help people! Haruhi wanted to be a smart lawyer. And I wanted to help children like…me.

So Takashi could only stand there, practically vibrating with disgust, and close his eyes against the need to respond to the accusations in our voices. He was certainly mature enough to realize that I would not listen to him at this point; instead, Takashi scowled darkly at me, annoyed with this stupidity, and moved to place me on the sand. His footsteps faded softly in the background, further and further from me, a piece of his soul, with each moment. My own soul ached with the loss of his warm, protective presence. But I did not turn around, too proud – and too ashamed – to admit that Takashi was right.

And I was wrong…

Chibi Sammy remained unusually quiet, but Southern Belle Sammy made her first appearance in months, stepping out into the open without her usual charm and aplomb. She sadly surveyed the damage that I had unwittingly caused and then protectively wrapped her arms around her yellow waistcoats, her blue eyes closed in dismay. Murmured – Ya broke yer promise, didn't ya?

Haruhi, who momentarily lost her composure upon witnessing the sudden departure from one of the kindest of the group, regained enough of her sense to project her voice to the backs of the retreating Hosts. Fisting her hands at her sides and bowing her head to scream at the sand, Haruhi brokenly insisted, "Sammy-chan and I did not do anything wrong!"

My eyes closed tightly while I silently, bitterly, painfully mused: That isn't true, though, is it? Because I did do something wrong. I…

Devoid of all its normal pranks, jokes, laughter, and pretend voices, my mind became empty, and bleak, and senseless. It was much harder to be happy without the rest of the Host Club near me, something I would not have believed possible just three months ago. How was it possible that Tamaki, Kyoya, and the others managed to claim a part of the stone heart beating in my chest? How could I have let it happen? How…had I survived this long without…without friends?

"Oh?" Tamaki inquired politely of Haruhi, before his normally bright smile dimmed and then tightened at the corners of his lips. "Well please, continue doing whatever you want." Walking around Haruhi, then Kyoya, and off to the beach house around the bend. He waved his hand in the air and childishly called, "But I will not talk to you – either of you – until it is clear that you were wrong!"

…I broke my promise.

My hands fisted in the material of the bikini top that smelled of Koji, Ari, and only faintly of Takashi, who was now a speck of skin against the horizon. Fingers twisted under the material and covered the flesh beneath its white material; I wanted desperately to hold it together, but I could feel the seams around the gaping hole in my chest stretching further and further apart, about to rip in two. Not much more was needed to break it completely. My heart, his, I…!

Beneath her breath, Haruhi scoffed at his declaration and turned around to stare in his wake, frustration turning her small lips down, into an uncharacteristically dark grimace. The Hosts ignored her fury without pause – making it known where their loyalties remained – and quietly followed the example set first by Takashi, then Tamaki. So used to their support in everything I did and said, I was extremely horrified to note that Hikaru and Kaoru did the same, a strange seriousness glimmering in their golden eyes. Neither Twin looked back at me. Takashi was gone. What did I have left?

"Haruhi," I declared, quietly answering my own question with these three syllables. Her name was caught in the painful emotions of shame and embarrassment burning in my mouth, though, and I could not speak it louder than a whisper. Her expression, when I glanced to her, was sad, lonely, and lost. I wanted desperately to erase the pain in her heart and mine, but I could only stare out at the ocean and lean sideways to hug her close to me.

***Author's Note***

Tada~! I updated early for everyone! It's even a slightly longer chapter, too, since this is my "Happy Holidays Gift." So Merry Christmas, Kwanza, Hanukah, New Year, and etcetera! I hope you all had fun with family and friends. Gifts were nice, too, right? LOL ;)

Hmm. Not much else to say, which is unusual for Shadowsammy, huh? Just remember that the little surprise is in the next chapter! It is what some people might refer to as a coughlimecough. Other than that, uh, please read and review? More reviews means more inspiration! It also means much less time between this cliff hanger and that lime. *Ducks to Avoid Rotten Tomatoes.* Hey!