~Chapter Fifty~

Freakin' French Fry

I don't know if you can see
The changes that have come over me.
These past few days, I've been afraid
That I might drift away.

I've been telling old stories, singing songs,
That make me think about where I come from.
That's the reason why I seem so far away today.

Lost friends that I needed losing;
Found others on the way.

~Caledonia, by Lisa Kelly

Disclaimer: Me Now Own; You No Sue.

"Lady Samantha May Steel Hitachiin," Takashi murmured, slowly kneeling before me and holding out a ring of gold, diamonds, and sapphire flowers – specially, I would learn in later years, crafted only for me. "May I claim the honor of becoming your cherished husband? May I refer to you as my cherished wife?"

"Yes, Lord Morinozuka Takashi," I whispered through the hot tears of happiness, kissing him so soundly and smiling against his lips because I could feel his heartbeat beneath mine, "but only on one condition…"

"What would that be, Koi?" Takashi whispered.

"I keep my motorcycle!"

He laughed. "No."

"Damn…"

Sammy's P.O.V.

"Freedom~!"

Happily, I burst forth from the science classroom, blindly diving into the sea of yellow dresses, blue dress suits, and briefcases. I bolted through the bustling hallways, weaving in and out of the crowd in the hopes of reaching the stairs first. Since I did win the imaginary race against the tens of other students, I decided to congratulate myself by sliding down the banisters, cackling wildly. If only the staircases moved, like in Hogwarts. A Ravenclaw sliding down moving staircases? Fifty points to Ravenclaw for freakin' awesomeness!

My smile remained firmly in place when I reached the bottom, although I'd heard several of the other students fussing and grumbling to their friends/business partners about the odd, ridiculous foreigner that always ruined the peace and quiet of their precious Ouran High School. Normally, I would feel sort of depressed by their words, falling into a small attack of sadness without help from family and friends. Not today, though! Nothing could dampen my spirits! Nope! Not these morons, not Ayanokoji, who threatened to kick my ass earlier, and certainly not –

"Wait a minute! Wherever are you going, Sammy-senpai?"

– The Ouran High School Host Club.

"Home," I screamed back, ridiculously happy, and smiled wide enough to swallow him whole. I ignored his next question, which asked something pertaining to an explanation for ditching, and I continued rampaging through the hallways, instead – straight towards the King of the Host Club.

Shocked, Tamaki reacted instinctively by bracing himself, his feet spread wide, arms open, and violet eyes wide with panic. He started to reach out and stop me, arms opened far enough that I could not pass without taking him with me. The Host King seemed to notice this to be true, too, given the widening of his smile, and prepared to catch me as my smaller form attempted to fly around his taller, stronger one. What Tamaki did not expect, however, was my secret love of football.

In other words, I did not attempt to avoid him and skirt around his larger form; instead, I zoomed straight for him, jumped without fear, and tackled his skinny butt straight to the floor. Booyah!

Predictably, Tamaki yelped in surprise and lifted his hands to protect his (sort of) handsome face, thinking that I planned to beat the shit outta him. I only continued to stare down at him, blinking slowly and smiling at his reaction in amusement, because Tamaki seemed to be crying out for help in French. I wanted to remind him that nobody else would respond to his cries for assistance, when lo and behold, it arrived – Renge the Retarded!

"Oh, I see a scandal for the next magazine," Renge gleefully cried, face bright with mirth, and clapped her hands together. She was positively foaming at the mouth, clearly thinking of the fuel that would make the fire – uh, raging gossip about me, myself, and I – spread faster. Ugh!

Huffing, I glared darkly at her, my eyes narrowed in irritation. She could not possibly be that stupid, but something about her empty eyes and smile screamed – Out to Lunch. Seeing as our younger classmate seemed to be unaware of her verbal daydreaming, though, I kindly drawled, "You do realize that Tamaki-kun and I hear you, right?"

My question was not rhetorical, but Renge decided to ignore it and sighed happily at her (please insert: disturbing) thoughts – "Yes, I can see it! A peasant, Haruhi-kun, who is desperately in love with the King, stumbles into the castle while searching for help for her starving people, when what do her eyes see? A harlot, with fake hair and breasts –"

"Hey! My breasts are real and made of flesh, not plastic! My carpet matches the drapes, too. Fuck you very much," I protested, thoroughly startled, before warily glancing down to scrutinize my own chest. Yes, I would admit it: I was much larger than most Japanese females. But I liked to think that having C Cups was relatively normal for both Americans and Germans.

Siriusly! My lips puffed out in a small pout, and I crossed both arms over my chest, which Renge continued to smile and point at – which, I might add, freaked the fuck outta me. I am self conscious enough without her stupid comments adding to the problem…

"– and seduces the love of his life! The King and the Harlot get married and have six children together, two of which are illegitimate. Heartbroken, Haruhi must leave the kingdom – no, the country – in tears! Later, when her father dies from starvation, Haruhi commits suicide! The End…!"

Confused, I glared at her through the disbelief clouding my gaze, anger marks slowly burning to life along my cheeks and forehead. I twitched faintly, trying to ignore my need to pull out the Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire book in my purse, which I believed to be thick enough to smack some sense into this rabid fangirl. Jesus H. Christ. What the fuck is Renge smoking…?

"What do you think?" Renge cheerfully asked, with her dainty hands clasped in front of her, a ridiculously dreamy smile plastered to her porcelain face. It was pointy, thin, and odd. Like Yuki, from Fruits Basket. "Is it not the most romantic story you've heard?"

Transfixed by her odd ignorance and knowing that it must be blissful indeed to be that stupid, Tamaki and I stared – first at Renge, then each other, and back to her. We sweatdropped, silently agreed to humor her, and slowly chorused, "Yes, Renge-chan!" No need to try the patience of the Freaky Fangirl. We wanted to live…!

"Thank you!" Then, Renge curtsied to us and lifted her butter yellow skirts from the ground in a practiced motion of modesty. She smiled sweetly, tilted her head to the side, and said, "Well, I really must be going because, you see, this wonderful story will not write itself! It must be written by moi~"

Smirking faintly to myself, I dryly mused: And Exit, Stage Left, for Renge the Retarded! Adieu, Bitch!

After recovering from his shock, Tamaki slowly climbed to his feet, dusting off the faintest bit of dirt and debris from his otherwise pristine pants legs. He gently cleared his throat. "May I ask why you are not joining the Host Club for their activities later this afternoon, Big Sister?"

While I'd been planning to lie through the teeth and spout some nonsense about needing to learn how to fly fighter jets, I stopped. Something about the wording of that question made me pause. So, I decided to tell him the truth. "It's a secret, Tamaki-kun, but I will share it with you, since you were nice enough to ask politely," I slowly explained.

Like Satoshi, who I'd kept in contact with and started to become tremendously fond of, Tamaki visibly perked up in excitement. "Oh, I'm incredibly happy that Big Sister trusts me!" The Host King squealed through his perfect white teeth and started to wiggle his pretty much nonexistent rump, to which I harrumphed in (not) jealousy.

Oh, God. Southern Belle Sammy dryly noted with some amusement but, above all, tons of fond exasperation. She lifted her hands in the air, tossed her head back to the skies, and happily laughed: Puppy Tamaki is back 'n bad to the bone…!

Pinching my nose and sighing heavily, I decided that I must look and feel like Kyoya did when dealing with his hyperactive friend all the time; therefore, I decided to pull out all the stops to channel the Shadow King. I used the best Kyoya Voice I could and sternly added, "Yes, yes! You have to promise to keep it a secret, though!"

"Okay! I promise, I promise, I promise!" Tamaki exclaimed, frantically nodding his head in what was probably meant to be agreement but what really looked like somebody having a serious seizure. It looked somewhat painful, too…

Doubtfully, I eyed Tamaki, his bouncing feet, and his sudden bout of epilepsy, while also trying to tone down the skepticism. It would not do to constantly doubt the friends that I made here in Japan, especially if I wanted to keep 'em, right? So, I decided to take a good leap of faith and trust him. A slow smile whispered down my parted lips, and I leaned forward to mutter the secret in his ear. Just to be on the safe side, though, Tamaki would need to –

"…Pinky promise!" I insisted, sternly, and glared pointedly at him for better measure. The Host King blinked down at me, clearly surprised with this childish failsafe, but complied nonetheless, holding his pinky out to me in invitation. We linked pinky fingers, and I solemnly declared, "If this promise is broken, Tamaki-kun, then your pinky fingers will be broken, too!"

"Yes, yes, yes!" Tamaki hastily agreed, although looking quite pale and uncomfortable because of the – evil smirk – force with which I declared that last warning. Violet eyes were now wide with excitement again, glittering with the emotion that fueled his next words – "Now, I beg of you to share the secret, Big Sister!"

"Well, I have a special friend visiting me," I started slowly, only to be interrupted by Tamaki, who waved his delicate hands around in the air and dramatically wailed, "Please, no! I do not wish to hear of Big Sister's Time of the Month!" Covered his ears. Shuddered. Cried. All in ten seconds flat.

Remarkably, I managed to fight the (almost overwhelming) urge to smack his big, fat head and settled for blushing brightly in honest embarrassment, instead. My teeth clenched tightly in annoyance and horror, I hissed, "Mein Gott! Not that special friend, du Idiot!"

What is with people today? Yeah, I was pretty damn miffed. My hair, breasts, and period should not be discussed out in the open! We're not guests for The Jerry Springer Show! I grinned faintly. Well, Tamaki and Haruhi might need to be his guests in the future, but…

"Oh," Tamaki muttered through his embarrassment, his neck and cheeks turning bright, fire engine red. Coughing lightly into his fist, the Host King bounced lightly in place and smiled sheepishly at me, a small hint of amusement in his eyes. He politely apologized, "I am very sorry, Sammy-senpai…"

"It's Sammy-chan," I mumbled, the blush painting my cheeks darkening to the point that I wondered if I might be in dire need of medical attention soon. My heart might fail if all of the blood rushed there at once! Then, I would die, and Kyoya would celebrate, and I would haunt his nonexistent ass, and…

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

Light Bulb.

"Oh…"

Glancing to the side, I could tell that Tamaki finally caught on to these carefully chosen words, his lips slowly pulling upwards to smile at me. He tackled straight into me, and I yelped, "Oi! I have to go and meet him soon, so you need to let me go!" Ever try to pry an overgrown, crazed French Fry off of yourself? Yeah! Not as easy as it sounds…!

Slowly, Tamaki released his hold of me, a small smile still dancing along his lips – until the pronoun in my previous sentence registered in his wine addled brain, anyway. "You're meeting a man?" Tamaki asked in surprise, almost yelping his question. His violet eyes and normally cheerful face went strangely serious at this news. It was, well, kind of unnerving!

"Yes," I warily admitted, biting back the need to correct myself and hide the fact that Caleb was, and always would be, male – though the idiot would probably like to be female. Caleb would probably make a very cute girl, too, with his light skin, wild red hair, and big green eyes. Like Lily Evans!

Does that make me – gasp, shudder, faint – Severus Snape?

"Does Mori-senpai know?" Tamaki seriously asked the one question that I feared somebody – namely, Tamaki and Kyoya – would bring up in conversation if I stuck around long enough to be caught by one of the Hosts. Which, sadly, I was…

My small smile of good humor at that last thought dropped, and I warily backed off, feeling strange and unnerved at the moment because Tamaki was actually frowning at me. Seriously! He wasn't born with the ability to frown! When did Tamaki learn how to frown, anyway? Did Haruhi take him to Professor Oak, train him, and let the Host King evolve into Host Dictator? Tamaki must have learned Leer. Dammit!

"Um…" I stuttered through the possible responses in my mind, dredging absolutely nothing up, and squirmed nervously beneath the weight of his positively penetrating stare. He stared, and I stared, and Tamaki stared at me some more, and I stared back at him. Sadly, though, I blinked first. And I lost the impromptu staring contest. Sigh.

Finally, I hunched both shoulders like the stereotypically guilty child and muttered, "…no?"

He lifted his shoulders in a strangely exasperated fashion and sighed through his open mouth, sounding like Daddy used to if I did something stupid, which I did all of the time, really. "You are going to hurt him if these lies and secrets do not stop, mon ami," Tamaki softly said.

Regaining my ability to speak did take longer that I would like to admit, but I finally gathered enough courage to meet his eyes, and I quietly repeated, "Hurt him?" Praying that Tamaki would drop the subject and not delve further into it, instead…

"I understand that you would not do it intentionally, Sammy-chan, but you could really hurt him if you're not honest with Mori-senpai about whom you are with and why you're spending time with that person." Tamaki stared down at me, seeing my puzzled expression, and explained, "Women of noble birth rarely interact with males outside of their immediate family, unless engaged, and then only with their fathers, brothers, and their fiancé."

Confused beyond all belief, I raised both eyebrows in incredulity and blandly pointed out, "I hang out with everybody from the Host Club and you're all male, in case you'd not recently noticed, Tamaki-kun." My wry point was met with the briefest moment of silence, then –

Tamaki hesitated, his throat moving in an odd fashion, like it always moved before the Host King decided to keep his thoughts to himself and speak less than the whole truth. Normally, Tamaki did this in front of Haruhi. He lightly lifted his shoulders and proclaimed, "Your association with the Host Club is…different."

"How is that possible?" I loudly demanded, hands to my curvy waist, another sign of irritation on my part. My mouth and eyebrows twisted downwards in confusion, and I glared straight at him, making it known that I wanted the whole truth this time. Nothing more, nothing less!

"We of the Host Club have all confessed interest in other women," Tamaki finally said, his voice and expression thoughtful, "and that means we are not threatening the purity of the beautiful relationship between you and Mori-senpai."

Quietly, I pondered the meaning of his words, and I glanced at him through lowered eyelashes, fearing his response to what I said next. It could be disastrous because, well – Tamaki was pretty bigmouthed, okay? He was also bighearted, though, with one of the most pleasant dispositions this side of the Atlantic Ocean. No one else would've listened to what I had just said and not thought badly of me. I mean, really! Tamaki could have heard that I wanted to secretly visit Caleb without Takashi knowing and mistakenly thought that I would cheat on my wonderful boyfriend – uh, fiancé.

Speaking of which…

Deeply, I inhaled through the nostrils, steeling myself for it, and then shyly admitted, "Takashi-kun and I are engaged, Tamaki-kun." As Belt would add: Dun, dun, dun!

"WHAT?!" Tamaki yelled out in shock, before various passing students paused to stare at us, suddenly interested in our conversation now. This, coupled with the lovely Glare of Doom that I sent his way, was enough to make him lower his voice. He furiously whispered, "When were you going to tell everybody that you're engaged?"

"It only happened last week, Tamaki-kun," I answered, smiling softly at the memories associated with that wonderful evening. "My parents and I went to have dinner with his family, after which his father and mine signed their Contract of Arranged Marriage." My soft smile was probably borderline stupid right now. "And Takashi-kun proposed to me in the middle of this wild but beautiful garden, surrounded by roses and tulips and…"

When I sighed wistfully at the thought of that night, Tamaki reached out to touch his fingers to my arm, a gentle gesture of affection from the normally crazy, over affectionate Host King. "It sounds beautiful," Tamaki kindly said, smiling down at me. He seemed…honestly happy…for me.

"It was so very pretty," I agreed with the sweetest smile that I could muster, which admittedly hurt my eyes, cheeks, and lips, but eh, who cared? I was getting married, and to Takashi! Who wouldn't smile? (Besides Kyoya the Killjoy, anyway…) "To be honest, Tamaki-kun, I couldn't help but feel like the luckiest girl in the whole wide world!"

The Host King that I knew and loved reemerged from behind his gentle mask of affection and happily decided to reach out to glomp me, complete with the om, nom, nom sounds from anime, which was weird, since this wasn't one! (Was it?) "You deserve it, Sammy-chan, and do not let anyone ever convince you otherwise," Tamaki fiercely insisted from beside me.

Tearfully, I hugged him back around his middle, and gratefully whispered, "Thanks so very much for being here for me now and listening to all of this stuff, Tama-chan." My eyes were wide and bright with tears, but I did not cry. Because Tamaki might start crying, too, and I did not think that I could handle hugging a soggy ol' French Fry…

Like earlier, Tamaki suddenly recalled exactly what spewed from between my parted lips, and the expression of happiness in his eyes was so strong, and bright, and heartwarming that I could not do anything but smile at him. "Are you going to start referring to me as Tama-chan?" He laughed, before staring down at me in wonder and amusement.

Shrugging, I grinned back at the overly emotional teenager and nonchalantly glanced down to my recently bitten fingernails with feigned interest. I ignored his pained expression, knowing the destroyed manicure might actually physically pain him, and innocently explained, "You, Mitsukuni-kun, and the others must really be starting to rub off on me!"

"You know, I am incredibly happy to hear that from you," Tamaki admitted, quietly, and with this suspicious gleam of understanding in his eyes – one might actually being to wonder if the Host King lived without friends before moving here, to Japan. If true, then…

…We're more alike than I could've imagined…

Unnerved by this thought, and the return of Serious Tamaki, I sarcastically inquired, "You're happy that you can rub off on me? Must be like the time that you and Haruhi-chan tried to play that S&M Game! You are so perverted, Tama-chan!" Making it sound positively awful. LOL.

Blushing brightly, Tamaki furiously requested that I keep my voice down and denied the truth in these words since I'd just lied to him – Heehee! Not finding it funny in the least, Tamaki pouted at me and whined, "No, I am glad that the Host Club is filled with the people you can care about and trust!"

"Oh," I mumbled, ducking down in embarrassment and turning to the side, blindly staring out the huge window, where I could hear the sounds of other students coming back from their horseback riding class. My heart in my scratchy throat, I shrugged at him and shyly whispered, "Well, I do – er, care about everybody, I mean."

"We know," Tamaki reassured in his strangely soft voice and patted the hand that I'd lowered to tightly grip the banister beside us, "though it is undeniably nice to hear coming from you."

We were quiet, then, each thinking of the differences in the other. Tamaki, I realized with the strangest ache inside, would have been alone this time last year. He would have been starting – well, trying to start – the Host Club. I suddenly wanted to cry. Without Haruhi, Hikaru, Kaoru, Kyoya, Mitsukuni, and Takashi, who did Tamaki have to talk to and hang out with at school? Who listened to him formulate his crazy rants and schemes? Who eased his worries? Who hugged him?

Who was simply there for him?

Not the Host Club…

A year ago, when I'd not been this eager to make friends and be social, I would have laughed outright if somebody mentioned that I would have so many really good friends – best friends, in fact! And I would not have believed it possible that I could really care so much about what these friends thought of me. I think I would have scoffed, made some stupid joke, and then continued with whatever inane prank I'd been in the middle of before being told such nonsense. Now, I suddenly realized just how immature I always was, and how immature I could still be.

Was it wrong that I liked to be happy and laugh and have fun? That I pranked people? That I told vulgar jokes?

Really, I didn't think it too terribly horrible, but…

What if it hurts someone?

My phone beeped from within my purse, its chirping noise catching his attention and mine, and I smiled halfheartedly at the text, still preoccupied with the thoughts running around inside of me. Tamaki, who had been frowning again, albeit in thought, reverted to his original personality – in other words, rather obnoxious – and nosily stared down at my message screen. I ignored him and cheerfully swiped through the thread in search of the respond button. When I reached it, Tamaki blinked down at the English words in confusion, clearly not recognizing the odd characters.

Violet eyes were wide, blinking down at the message and from various angles, like that might suddenly help him understand another language – German for Dummies, I guessed. "What does it say?" Tamaki asked not a second later, his voice sounding confused and suspiciously whiny, might I add.

"Silly French Fry," I playfully teased him, that familiar smirk of amusement clinging to my curled mouth at the sight of his equally familiar pout of frustration. Sapphire danced with mischief, and I declared, "It doesn't say anything because you need to read it first!"

Sticking his tongue out at me and acting normally (as a teenager, anyway) for the first time since I'd met him, Tamaki curiously asked, "What does it read, then?" Violet eyes squinted down at the message and his fingers seemed to itch to touch the tiny translate button located at the top corner of the thread – English to Japanese.

"My friend, Caleb, is asking where I am and when I'll be home," I translated the familiar characters for him, rather than pressing the translate button. Why? Because Caleb lovingly added that I might want to bring home a pregnancy test to check that I'd not been knocked up! He seemed to think that I'd been sleeping with Takashi, something that Tamaki did not need to start thinking and freaking out about, either. Perverts!

"Oh," Tamaki simply said, before shuffling nervously from foot to foot which, if I'd paid extra attention, I would have thought to be rather uncharacteristic of the usually collected Frenchman. He eyed the phone when I did not notice his worried fidgeting and instead started to text Caleb and another person. "What are you doing, Big Sister?"

"Well, I texted Caleb to let him know that I will be home soon, since the big teddy bear is so worried about me," I dryly said, lifting both shoulders in a careless fashion that Tamaki did not believe for a second, if his raised eyebrows were any indication, and I smiled at him. "I also texted Takashi-kun to let him know that I'm going home and will talk to him tomorrow!"

Violet eyes, previously wide with curiosity, suddenly narrowed in speculation. Tamaki, for all of his other faults, was remarkably quick witted when the time called for it, especially if it did not concern a certain Host King. His delicate lips pulled down into another frown. "Will Mori-senpai read anything about Caleb-san in that little text of yours?"

"No," I slowly said, thinking it best to be honest but only honestly regretting it because Tamaki leaned forward, starting to scold at me in what could only be called fatherly concern. Quickly, I hushed him, exasperated, and added, "I will tell him! Just…not right now, okay?"

While I'd thought that to be the end of things, Tamaki clearly was on another train of thought or, given his track record, another planet entirely! Boys went to Jupiter to get stupider, right? His fingers darted out to hold tightly to my shoulder when I moved to leave. He earnestly asked, "When are you planning to tell him, then?"

"Tomorrow!" I bit out through clenched teeth, feeling skittish, cornered by the taller teenager leaning down and practically breathing down my neck – figuratively and literally. My skin was crawling beneath the guilt that started to eat at my resolve. We stonily stared each other down, and then – I caved.

"Okay, okay, okay!" I finally exclaimed, lifting both hands in the air in exasperation, much like my imaginary counterpart had earlier. There was just something about Tamaki that made a girl want to bash her head in against the nearest brick wall. How Haruhi could be in love with idiot was a mystery to me! Sheesh!

Wait.

…Haruhi?

A wicked smile suddenly whispered to life, and I deviously said, "Here's what we're going to do…"

***Author's Note***

Whoa! This is the 50th CHAPTER?! WTF? Thanks for hanging in there with me! Cookies for everyone! (::) Om, nom, nom! :D

Sorry that this is late, by the way! College is killing me, and I decided to update my LOTR story, instead. I just couldn't get the ending right for this one. I think I finally have it, though! It will lead nicely into the next chapter, which skips the Lobelia Girls entirely. Why? 'Cuz they kinda piss me off... ^^;

M'kay! Please read and review! Review with what you're thinking about Sammy and Tamaki's friendship, please? Oh! Does anybody know where they're going to go next? Lemme know in a review! :D

Update between 652 and 658 reviews!