A/N- I am so sorry for the extreme long wait but I just needed to take a step back from this story but I am back now! Thank you all for your reviews and for everyone still sticking around. But I am also sad to tell you that we are getting close to the end of the story with only a couple more chapters remaining.
Chapter 23
Something Arizona will never forget is the smell. Since the first time she stepped into a hospital as a young child the smell has always been the first thing she associates with a hospital. But the thing is the longer you walk those bright florescent halls the more things you start to recognize. The feel of latex gloves early in the morning, the rubbery taste of the overcooked cafeteria food, spending hour after hour in scrubs – okay maybe that's not a bad thing they are actually pretty comfortable. Then there is the sound of gurney wheels racing along the floor, the nurses talking well gossiping, and then of course there is the famous pager. You do not know how loud a pager is until you have heard it at two in the morning.
And that is exactly the reason why Arizona is desperately making her way to the coffee cart. She spent most of the morning consulting on what would be the best course of treatment on a very difficult case that arrived earlier the morning. After hours of squinting at x-rays, she is now making her way down the hall plastering on the best smile she can muster up as she walks past her new co-workers. She may still be the new girl on the block but she knows the exact location of caffeine on each floor.
After downing a very larger cup of much-needed coffee she makes her way back to the Peds floor. Her Peds floor. Walking up to the nurses' station she takes the tablet from the nurse with a smile. She scans over the newly added information mentally planning the next course of action. After rereading the most recent vitals she walks into the pink decorated room. In the middle of the large hospital bed sits the little blonde girl her eyes glued to her phone as she searches for the perfect song. The little girl looks up beaming at the blonde doctor and quickly pulling her headphones off.
"Dr. Robbins!"
"Good morning Tatum, how are you feeling this morning?" She asks stepping into the room placing the tablet on the table at the foot of the bed.
"Just a little tired."
"Did you get some sleep last night?"
"A little."
"Well let me see if I can do anything to help with that. But first I need to do some tests." The little girl pulls her blanket over her face.
"I don't want to." Arizona can hear the pout in her voice.
"I know sweetheart, but I have to."
"But it hurts." Arizona pulls down the blankets being met with big brown puppy dog eyes.
"I am sorry Tatum, what if I promise to tell you a story?"
"What kind of story?" She asks already excited. Arizona pretends to think while pulling the tray closer that the nurse brought in for her.
"Have I ever told you about the time I was attacked by lions?" The little girl's eyes go wide shaking her head.
"You were attacked by lions?" Arizona nods slipping on her gloves.
"Oh yes, I was staying in a cabin in the middle of the jungle with my friends. I will never forget that night, it was so dark that you didn't know if your eyes were open or closed. I was fast asleep in my bed when I heard it. At first, I thought I was just imagining it but then I heard it again. ROAR!" Tatum is completely engrossed in the story that she doesn't even flinch when Arizona gently sticks the needle in her arm. "That's when I realized that the whole cabin was surrounded."
-x-x-
Callie falls exhausted onto the floor, sweat dripping off her and her pulse racing. Her body feels like jelly after just finishing an intense workout. Without the physical exertion of performing every night, she has been upping her workout routines. Wiping her face with the towel she sees her new assistant walking in with a bottle of water.
"I thought you might need this." She says handing over the bottle.
"Thanks, Jo you're a lifesaver."
"How was the workout?"
"Ugh, I think Shane is actually trying to kill me." She sits up and takes a long drink from her water bottle. "Did you confirm what time everyone should be at the studio with the band?"
"I did, I also confirmed with the studio." Callie nods taking another drink of water. "Do you think you are finally going to get to record the new song today?"
"I hope so, if me and Owen can just figure out the chord progression of that last verse then we will be ready."
"I still can't believe you have written so many awesome songs in what like a month?" Callie nods.
"When inspiration hits it sort of just writes itself."
"So I take it you have been plenty inspired lately," Jo says wiggling her eyebrows making Callie chuckle.
"I think you have been spending too much time with Alex and Cristina," Callie says shaking her head. "Speaking of which, I better go wash this stink off me so we can go get Alex." Callie gets up from the floor.
Callie makes her way through the house when a banging against the front door makes her jump. She uses the towel hanging over her shoulder to wipe her face before answering the door. Callie opens it to find a very cranky looking Aria on the other side.
"What's for breakfast?" Aria asks pushing past Callie into the house.
"Um... lunch, it's one."
Callie follows her into the living room where Aria has made herself comfortable on the couch. She watches her sister flipping through the channels, her hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail and her large baby bump is covered by a flowing purple shirt, just because she is pregnant doesn't mean she can't look good. She has told Callie repeatedly.
"You look really nice today."
Maybe start with a complement not to set her off Callie thinks. After Aria reached the seven months she has become a real delight to be around.
"What's that supposed to mean?! That I look disgusting every other day but today I just got lucky?" Callie puts her hands up in surrender. Aria drops her head back against the back of the couch. "Sorry I didn't mean to snap at you but mom is driving me crazy!"
"She is just excited about their first grandchild," Callie says with a smirk rubbing her baby bump but Aria slaps her hand away.
"I told mom once the baby is born she and dad are on the first flight back to Miami."
"You put your foot down," Callie says understanding her sister's need to take control.
"On a frikkin' land mine! That lead to two hours of her crying about how we don't want her to be part of the baby's life." Callie smiles at her poor sister but she is just really glad that it's not her. Her mother has a way of taking over and driving everyone crazy. Her dad should get a Nobel Peace Prize for living with that woman. At least now she knows where Aria gets her love for the dramatics from.
"I am sorry I can't stay and compare emotional scars with you but I am actually on my way to the hospital. You are welcome to come with me or stay here if you want?"
"Do you have ice cream?"
"I think there are some in the freezer."
"Then I am staying." Callie should have guessed. "Why are going to the hospital anyway?"
"I need to take Alex for his check-up."
"Why can't Alex go by himself it's been three months since the shooting?"
"Because he can't drive his arm is in a sling." Callie deadpans.
"You just want to see Arizona."
"So what if I do? She has been working nonstop and when I do I see her she is half asleep."
Callie gets up and goes upstairs to shower and change. After feeling refreshed she goes back down to see Aria on the couch with a bowl of ice cream on her lap her eyes glued to the TV.
"Aria I am heading out if you need anything just call or you know go home." Aria just waves over her shoulder.
-x-x-
In the last couple of months, Callie has spent more time at the hospital than she ever thought possible. Looking around the now-familiar halls not spotting Arizona anywhere she heads over to the nurses' station finding the redhead resident sitting behind the desk.
"Hey, Reed."
"Hi, Callie." She greets the singer happily. "I was just reading about you." The doctor says holding up the gossip magazine.
"It's all lies I promise."
"It's about Derek Shepherd's movie, it says it's coming out soon?"
"Yes, the premier is in a couple of weeks," Callie says remembering receiving the invites a few days ago.
"That is so awesome!" Reed says excitedly. "Oh, you are probably looking for Arizona?"
"Yes please." Reed points to the room.
"She is in there with a patient."
"Thanks, Reed."
She makes her way to the room, leaning against the doorway smiling when she hears her girlfriend telling the little girl a very intense story.
"Did the lions get in the house?" The girl asks as Arizona places a band-aid on her arm where she just removed the needle.
"They clawed and they chewed at the wall trying to get in. The doors rattled and the windows cracked and then... his teeth broke through the door!" The little girl jumps in the bed.
Laughter from the door makes Tatum's head snaps to the door her eyes going wide when she sees Callie.
"Calliope," Arizona says smiling at her girlfriend, Callie slowly makes her way into the room smiling at the little girl. "Tatum this is Callie, Callie this is Tatum." Arizona loves the awestruck look on the kids' faces when they see Callie.
"Hi."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Tatum," Callie says shaking her hand making the little girl giggle.
"I have all your songs on my phone," Tatum says proudly.
"Really?" Callie says surprised as Tatum nods. "What is your favorite song?" Tatum squints and tilts her head to the side thinking really hard.
"Know I love you," Tatum says having made up her mind on Callie's newest released song.
"Do you want to know a secret Tatum?" The little girl's eyes shine thinking about the possibility of sharing a secret with the singer. Callie leans forward making sure to whisper loud enough that Arizona can hear. "I wrote that song about Dr. Robbins." Tatum snaps her eyes to the blonde doctor.
"Really Dr. Robbins?"
"It's true Tatum."
"That is so cool!" The two laugh at the little girl's excitement.
"Okay, I think that's enough excitement for one day. You need to get some rest little miss."
"But I want to talk to Callie?" Tatum brings out her best pout.
"Sorry munchkin but the doctor has spoken," Callie says ruffling her short blonde hair.
When Arizona is finally able to wrestle Callie out of Tatum's room she grabs Callie's hand pulling her to her office. Once they are safely behind the closed door Arizona waste no time claiming Callie's lips with her own, both immediately melting into the kiss. When they finally pull apart they rest their foreheads together just enjoying being close to each other.
"Not that I am complaining but what was that about?" Callie asks running her hand soothingly up and down Arizona's back.
"It's been a crazy day and I just needed... I just needed..." She doesn't need to finish her sentence because Callie already knows.
They stay locked in each other's arms for a few moments before Callie speaks.
"That story you were telling Tatum I remember it all happening a little differently." Arizona lets out a chuckle stepping out of Callie's arms.
"Why ruin a good story with facts?" She says with a shrug before sitting down on the couch pulling Callie with her. "That's why I love Peds. They believe in magic. They play pretend. There is fairy dust in their IV bags. They hope and they cross their fingers and they make wishes. And that's what makes them more resilient than adults. They recover faster, survive worse, they believe. In Peds, we have miracles and magic. In Peds anything is possible." Callie smiles at the passion with what her girlfriend is talking about she leans over dropping a kiss on the blonde's cheek making her blush.
"Maybe we should get Alex some of that fairy dust."
"I'll ask Tatum if we can borrow some of hers."
Arizona watches the way Callie stares out of the window her mind clearly a thousand miles away. She takes her hand squeezing it. Callie looks over at her.
"Eli called."
"Oh." After the shooting, they have somewhat agreed not to talk about Leah as it brings up memories of a night they both very much would like to forget.
"She is going with the insanity plea."
"Well, I am not arguing with that because she is one buckle short of a straightjacket." Callie nods Leah is definitely a member of a crazy town. "Hey, where is Jo?" Arizona asks not wanting to dwell on the Leah subject too long.
"With Alex, I am starting to think those two have something going on."
"Must be the sling that makes all the girls swoon." Callie narrows her eyes at her girlfriend.
"Arizona Robbins have you been checking out his sling?"
"Never." She says with a naughty smile.
"I am keeping my eyes on you." She says pointing her finger at the blonde. "I think I should send Jo to go get us some tacos or something because the food here is ratchet."
"It's not that bad." Callie raises an eyebrow at her. "Okay yeah, it's pretty bad."
"So tacos then because I am starving?" Callie asks taking out her cell phone to call her assistant.
"Did someone say tacos?" They look up to see Alex standing at the door.
"I swear it's like he is Beetlejuice. Say food three times and he will appear."
"How did your checkup go?" Arizona asks.
"Good I can almost get this stupid thing off." He says adjusting the strap over his shoulder. He hands his newest set of x-rays over to the blonde who immediately takes them out to examine them.
"It's really healing nicely." Callie takes the x-rays from Arizona and also inspects them.
"Cal, do you even know what you're looking at?" Alex asks taking back his x-rays in his free hand.
"Nope, but I find it humorous." Arizona just rolls her eyes at the singer's lame joke while Alex just looks confused.
Jo soon arrives tacos in hand, all of them digging in. Arizona had no idea how hungry she really was until she actually ate. The three women and Alex sit in her office making small talk while they eat their tacos. All too soon for Arizona's liking, it's time for them to leave and for her to go back to her tiny humans.
Callie sends Jo and Alex ahead so she can spend just a few more moments alone with the blonde. They slowly make their way to the elevator, Arizona hanging onto Callie not ready to let her go just yet.
"So what are you guys going to be doing for the rest of the day?"
"We are heading over to the studio to try and get the new song recorded. How about you, have any idea of what time you might be home?" Arizona opens her mouth to reply but before she can her resident interrupts them.
"Dr. Robbins sorry to interrupt but the test results came back for the Martin's kid." Arizona smiles apologetically at Callie before taking the results from Reed. Callie smiles at the cute look on her girlfriend's face as she is concentrating on the tablet screen.
"Looks like my day just got a lot more complicated." She says handing the tablet back to Reed. Callie lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry Calliope."
"Hey don't apologize it's your job." The elevator dings. "Well, that's my signal to leave." She leans over giving Arizona a quick peck on the lips. "Go work your magic I'll see you later babe." She steps onto the elevator. "See you around Reed."
"Bye Callie." When the steel doors close Arizona turns back to the redhead.
"Come on Dr. Adamson we have work to do."
-x-x-
After leaving the hospital Callie heads straight to the studio. Luckily everything is falling into place and the progress on the new song moves along swiftly. The new album might just be ready on time for the release date.
"All right everyone that is it for today, great job." Sounds the voice through the recording booth. Callie takes off her headphones and hangs them over the mic stand.
"Cristina I think you can pick up the beat a little more on the bridge and April, Lexie I think you can tighten up the vocals a little more in the end." Everyone nods quickly writing notes down on their sheet music.
"Callie?" She hears Jo's voice. "You have a visitor." Callie looks through the window seeing her mother waving excitedly at her.
"Great." She mumbles to herself before putting on a fake smile.
"You forgot your lunch or something Torres?" Cristina asks busy packing away her stuff.
"No, she wants to talk about Aria's baby shower tomorrow." She says with fake excitement.
"Rather you than me," Meredith says.
"Yeah I don't see what there is to celebrate, I mean we come into this world naked, wet, and afraid and then it just gets worse," Cristina says with a shrug.
The door opens and Lucia Torres steps inside immediately pulling her daughter into a tight hug.
"Callie!"
"Hey, mom." She says warily.
"You ready to go sweetheart?" Lucia asks releasing Callie from the hug.
"Almost I just need to grab my stuff." She motions to her bag spotting her drummer and bass player snickering at her. "But do you know what I just remembered? Meredith and Cristina are always talking about how much they love baby showers." Their snickering immediately stops.
"Really? Then you should come with us." Lucia says excitedly at the idea of more shopping buddies.
"Oh no Mrs. Torres we can't." Meredith quickly says.
"Yes, we already have another appointment."
"With who?" Callie asks with a devilish smile.
"Our..."
"Accountant," Cristina says.
"I didn't know you had an accountant."
"Oh yes, we have been with him for years."
"Where did you find him?" Callie smiles watching the two women squirm desperately trying to think of something and enjoying every moment of it.
"The bank."
"Really? Maybe I know him what is his name?"
"Oh, I don't think so... Mr. Banks." Callie lets out a snort but finally decides to take pity on them.
"Let's go, mom, they clearly have a very important appointment with Mr. Banks at the bank they need to get to."
Planning a baby shower with her mother is nothing short of torture. After her mother bought everything remotely related to a baby shower they dropped everything off at Callie and Arizona's house for the shower the next day.
-x-x-
After a restless night of having to sleep alone, Callie is woken at the ass crack of dawn by her mother arriving and ready to get started on decorating the lounge for the baby shower later that day. Since Aria and Mark still want to keep the baby's sex a surprise and Arizona is the only one that actually knows but she refuses to tell anyone no matter how much Callie tries, they have decided on teal and grey decorations.
Lucia was able to use her powers of persuasion to rope in anyone she can get her hands on to help. Jackson and Mark are in charge of decorating the high to reach places, Carlos is moving tables around and Jo and Callie are busy inflating balloons with helium.
"Callie stop playing around." Lucia chides her daughter while she aligning the tablecloth with military precision.
"I'm not playing," Callie replies in a very high pitched helium voice.
"Can't you take anything seriously?"
"Why we are blowing up balloons that are shaped like bunny ears, not invading a country."
"I think we need more glitter," Mark says walking over to Lucia.
"Why on earth do you need so much anyway?" Callie asks tying another inflated balloon.
"It's for the onesie decorating station."
"Well, there is more glitter here than in a Las Vegas dressing room so I think you are good."
"How do you even know what onesie decorating is?" Jo asks handing another balloon to Callie.
"While you figure out your glitter situation I'm going to go to the bathroom." Callie holds the balloon to her mouth inhaling the helium. "I'll be back." She says in her best high pitch Terminator impression. Everyone starts to laugh as Callie walks out of the room but Lucia just shakes her head.
"It's like working with a five-year-old."
"A five-year-old that paid for everything," Callie calls over her shoulder.
When Callie comes back down the stairs her mother ushers her out of the door and into the car telling her they need to go pick up the pastries for the party. After loading half of the bakery into Callie's car they are finally on their way back to the house. Lucia looks over to her daughter spotting the pink box on her lap.
"What is that?" She asks motioning to the box.
"Donuts, I got some for Arizona I thought she might enjoy it when she gets home."
"Look at you being a good housewife waiting at home with baked goods." Callie stares at her mother with her mouth hanging wide open in shock.
"What? We are not... what?"
"Oh come on Callie when are you going to put on your big girl pants and ask that girl to marry you?" Callie can't believe she is having this conversation with her mother. "How long have you two been dating now?"
"A year."
"And you love her like she is the reason you breathe kind of love?"
"Yes." Callie answers without hesitation.
"Then what is the hold-up? Get married and start a family you are not getting any younger." Callie frowns at her mother.
"Hey, Aria is making you a grandmother doesn't that mean the pressure is off of me and Arizona? I'm just doing my part to keep your grandchildren population at one for the moment because I don't think you and daddy can afford any more grandchildren."
"So what if we like to spoil our grandchild a little."
"A little? You bought Aria and Mark enough baby stuff to fill the Grand Canyon and two medium-sized canyons, and the kid isn't even born yet!" Lucia just rolls her eyes.
When they finally get back to the house Callie sneaks off into the entertainment room wanting to escape all the craziness. When she turns on the light she almost jumps out of her skin when she finds Carlos hiding away in the dark. She just gives him a sympathetic smile before joining him. Soon Callie turns on her gaming consoles and suddenly it turns into hours of teaching her dad how to play.
"Kids today are spending way too much time in front of their televisions playing these ridiculous video games." He says annoyed dropping the controller on the couch after dying yet again. "In my day we didn't have this mind-numbing technology."
"Yeah, but you had other stuff like dinosaurs and Moses." Carlos gives his daughter the stink-eye just when he wants to speak the door opens and a tired Arizona walks in. "Ah saved by the pretty girlfriend."
"I thought I might find you two here," Arizona says collapsing in Callie's lap. Callie immediately wraps her arms around the blonde kissing her forehead. "Hello, Carlos." She mumbles into Callie's neck.
"Hello, Arizona." He says with a smile, since their first meeting he has really grown rather fond of the blonde.
"Why aren't you helping your mom set up the baby shower?"
"We were but we just needed a little break."
"I get that," Arizona says through a yawn.
"What's that smell?"
"A two-year-old threw up on me." Callie starts to untangle herself from Arizona.
"That's nice."
"Yeah, I think I am going to go shower." Arizona kisses Callie before leaving.
Carlos looks at Callie smiling. The singer sees him out of the corner of her eye as she starts the next game.
"What?"
"Nothing, you just look happy Mija."
"Don't you start too? I already had the 'get your ass in gear and propose' talk with mom today."
"Well, your mother is a smart woman Calliope." Callie pauses the game leaning back into the couch running her hands over her face.
"Look I love Arizona more than I ever thought possible and I do believe without a shadow of a doubt that she is the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with." Carlos just nods telling her to continue. "But she just started a new very demanding job and I can't be adding to that right now. She just needs me to be there for her and support her at the moment."
"How long?"
"What?"
"How long have you had the engagement ring?" Callie's eyes go wide.
"How...?"
"I know you Calliope, sure right now might not be the best time to propose but what if tomorrow something else happens and the next day and the next day and..."
"Okay, I get it." She says stopping his rambling. "I'll think about it." Carlos pats her knee.
"That's all I am asking Mija." Callie picks up her controller playing the game again.
"Since Christmas." She says after a moment.
-x-x-
A freshly showered Arizona steps out of the bathroom just as Callie walks into the room.
"Feeling any better?"
"Much," Arizona says sitting down on the side of the bed while drying her hair with a towel.
"I got you something." Callie places the pink box on the bed and Arizona immediately recognizes it.
"I love you so much right now." She dives into the box taking a donut out, moaning at the delicious taste.
"So..." Callie says nervously fidgeting with her hands in her lap.
"So?" Arizona asks around a mouth full of the donut.
"How was your day?" Callie asks sheepishly.
Arizona sighs dropping the half-eaten donut back into the box. "You mean did I have any surgeries today." She cleans her hands with a little more force than is needed, she and Callie have been having this argument for days now.
"Arizona you have been cleared for surgery for two weeks now but you are still refusing to set foot in an OR." Arizona gets up from the bed starting to pace as Callie watches her. "I am just trying to understand what the problem is."
"You want to know what the problem is?" She stops her pacing to look at Callie directly. "I am a pediatric surgeon, that's what the problem is Callie." Callie looks at her confused. Arizona takes a deep breath readying herself for the talk they are about to have. "When I told you about Emma I told you that I quit after I had a breakdown in an OR." Callie nods, every second of that night having been burned into her mind. Arizona turns around not being able to look into those brown eyes without wanting to just breakdown and cry. She looks out of the window looking out over the backyard. "It was about a month after... Emma died and was doing fine. At least I thought I was. I was halfway through an open heart surgery on a six-month-old baby boy when it happened. Thank god Teddy was there or else I don't even want to think about what could have happened." She turns back to look at Callie. "So yes the problem is that I am a pediatric surgeon. Parents put their kids' lives in my hands every day. And if there is even the slightest chance that I am not completely ready then I am not going to step into that OR. I am not going to let some piece of paper dictate whether or not I am ready to operate or not. I need to be sure, I can't let something like that happen again."
Callie is silent chewing her bottom lip before letting it go with a sigh.
"I'm sorry. You are right, I have no idea what that kind of pressure is like to have on your shoulders. You will do this at your own pace." Arizona gives her a grateful smile.
"Thank you." She gives Callie a slow kiss falling on the bed next to her.
"I guess I have played hooky for long enough. I better go check on them before my mom decides to destroy our house."
"Okay, I'll come with you."
"No sweetie you stay here, we still have a few hours before the actual shower starts and you just worked a double shift and you are on call all weekend you should get some rest."
Arizona doesn't even protest any further already half asleep. Three hours later and the baby shower is in full swing. Arizona doesn't even recognize her own lounge with all the decorations covering it. The house is full of Aria's friends and family all of them excited about the first Torres baby, some even asking when Callie and Arizona plan on starting their own family. Arizona is helping Callie put out some organic vegan anti-who-knows-what snacks.
"Looks like Aria is having a good time," Arizona says motioning to the smiling younger Torres surrounded by a mountain of gifts while everyone ooh and aah at each one she opens.
"Aria is always happy when she is the center of attention." Arizona slaps Callie's arm making the singer chuckle before she slips into Callie's side. "Have your mother ever thought about starting her own party planning business she is kind of a natural?"
"Please don't go putting any idea in her head," Callie begs.
Beep-Beep-Beep
"No, not now," Arizona whines looking down at her pager. "911." She says to Callie apologetically.
"It's okay, the tiny humans of Los Angeles need your awesomeness."
"I really am sorry," Arizona says grabbing her coat and car keys.
"Go!" Callie says pushing her out of the door.
-x-x-
Arizona runs into the ER still trying to get her lab coat on when she sees Reed examining a little boy.
"Adamson, what do we have?" She asks grabbing a pair of gloves from the table.
"Nine-year-old boy with severe abdominal pain. Parents brought him in after he collapsed at a soccer game." Arizona reads over the cart quickly before approaching the boy.
"Hey I'm Dr. Robbins can you tell me your name?"
"Kyle." He says through gritted teeth.
"Kyle I am here to help you. Can you tell me where it hurts?" He points it out his face scrunched up in pain.
"Dr. Robbins can you look at this for a moment," Reed asks calmly not to spook the young boy or his parents. Arizona smiles at them before looking at the image on the ultrasound Reed is pointing to.
"Adamson I need you to call up and get an OR ready." The redhead nods.
"What is going on?" The mother asks scared.
"It appears that Kyle's appendix is inflamed and we need to operate right away."
"You are going to cut open my baby?" She grabs Kyle's hand protectively.
"Kyle is going to be fine I assure you that this a very routine surgery and we are going to take good care of him." The mother nods. "Adamson page Dr. Johnson to perform the surgery." She says to the redhead as she approaches her at the desk.
"Dr. Johnson is already in OR 2."
"Dr. Kenneth?"
"Out of town."
"Then whoever is available."
"Dr. Robbins you're the only Peds surgeon available." Arizona freezes, no there has to be someone else. She feels the panic starting to build inside of her. She is not ready, not yet. "Dr. Robbins?" Reed's voice snaps her out of her thoughts.
"Book the OR." She says handing her back the tablet. "I just need..." She walks as fast as she can to the nearest empty on-call room.
Closing the door behind her she leans her forehead against the cold wooden door. Digging her phone out of her lab coat she dials the number with trembling hands before placing it to her ear.
"Dr. Teddy Altman aka surgical rock star speaking."
"Teddy," She says her voice cracking.
"Arizona what's wrong?" Teddy immediately picking up on her friend's panicked filled voice.
"I-" Her throat closes up unable to get anything else out.
"Arizona I need you to talk to me, tell me what's going on."
"Surgery."
"You're doing your first surgery since being back?" Arizona nods but then realizes that Teddy can't see her.
"Yes."
"Okay, that's not so bad."
"I can't do this Teddy!" Arizona says finally losing her hold on the panic inside of her.
"Hey! You are an amazing surgeon, you can cut circles around any other surgeon in that hospital. And if you ever tell anyone this I swear I will break your pinky but I am kind of jealous of you."
"What?"
"Seriously, every time we had to operate together you were always thinking five steps ahead and your technique is flawless." Teddy insures her friend.
"Then why does it feel like I have no clue what I am doing?"
"Because something bad happened and now you are scared. But that's good because if you're not scared you're not paying attention."
"What if I make a mistake?" She asks in a whisper.
"I am not going to lie to you it could happen. We are all just human and we make mistakes. But you studied and worked your perky little ass off for years to be the best possible surgeon you can be and not make mistakes. And if by some microscopic chance that something does go wrong, then you will pick yourself up and learn from your mistake so you can do better next time."
"I am scared, Teddy." Arizona finally voices.
"That is just the nerves talking, we just need to calm them down. What helps you relax, where is your happy place?"
"Callie." A small smile pulling at the corner of her lips just thinking about the singer.
"Well, there you go."
"Teddy it's not like I can sneak Callie into the OR."
"I know you will think of something." Arizona actually smiles at that.
"Thank you."
"You know I always have your back. Now go rock that surgery."
-x-x-
Callie is sitting on the couch with Mark and Aria in their house. After the baby shower, she offered to help them get everything back to their place. Mark has an arm wrapped around Aria's shoulder while the other is placed protectively on her baby bump.
"So are you guys ready to see your gift?" Callie asks breaking the comfortable silence that has settled around them.
"You already gave us a gift or should I say gifts," Aria says.
"I know but there is one more surprise left."
"I am always game for more free stuff." Aria slaps Mark on his arm.
Callie gets up and motions for the other two to follow her. She stops in front of the white nursery door.
"Okay I know you already finished the nursery, but I felt that there was still one thing missing."
Without explaining Callie opens the door. They all three-step into the teal room decorated beautifully with white furniture. Mark and Aria look around until Aria stop in front of the back wall looking at the new addition, a bookcase filled with every children's book imaginable.
"One of the most memorable moments from when I was a kid is that every night no matter what daddy would always..."
"Read us a bedtime story." Aria finishes with a fond smile.
"Yes, even when he had to work he always made sure we got our bedtime story." Callie watches as Aria runs the tips of her finger across the names of the different books. "I had everyone here today bring their favorite childhood book. Also on the inside, there is a little note from them to the baby."
"Callie this..." Aria turns around to look at her sister, her eyes brimming with tears. "Thank you, Callie." She steps forward pulling her sister into a tight hug, Mark also following her.
"I have to admit the top shelve are mostly books from Arizona and me. Trust me I learned my lesson about taking her into a bookstore, it took me three hours to drag her out of there."
"I think it's perfect," Aria says once again admiring the books.
"Honestly Cal when you brought us up here I thought you had created a baby rock-out room," Mark says making the two sisters laugh.
"It did cross my mind. Maybe when the kid is older we can reconsider that option."
-x-x-
Arizona is standing in the scrub room the cold water running over her hands while she looks through the window into the OR where they are busy prepping Kyle. Turning off the water she looks down at her shaking hands.
"Everything is set, Dr. Robbins." Arizona just continues to look at her hands. "Dr. Robbins?"
"Yes, um thank you, Adamson." The redhead nods before going back into the OR.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
She keeps repeating to herself. With one last deep breath, she steps into the OR. Every eye is on her watching her getting gowned and gloved. She walks over to the operating table looking down at the sleeping boy. She feels her hands starting to tremble again.
"Nurse music please." The nurse presses play and Callie's angelic voice fills the OR. Closing her eyes Arizona lets her girlfriend's voice soothe her, almost instantly feeling safe and calm in the only way Callie can make her feel. Opening her eyes she sees her hands still and all her nerves have vanished. She holds out her hand. "Ten blade."
-x-x-
Arizona pushes her key into the door thankful for the full moon for the extra light. Opening the door she steps into the dark house. She drops her keys and bag onto the table before moving into the house. She hears something crunch, she looks down to see she has stepped onto a stray piece of wrapping paper, bending down she picks it up dropping it in the recycling. Moving through the house she finds Callie fast asleep on the couch. Leaning down she places a kiss on her forehead.
"Your back." She mumbles half asleep as she lazily opens her eyes looking at the blonde. "How did it go?"
"I had a nine-year-old boy with acute appendicitis."
"Ouch," Callie says rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Is he okay?"
"I had to remove his appendix but he will be just fine."
"That's great I am glad he..." Callie stops her tired mind catching up to Arizona's words. She sits up straight looking at her. "You-you operated on him?" Arizona nods a smile forming on her lips.
"I did." Callie pulls her into a bone-crushing hug.
"Babe that is amazing." She pulls back smiling proudly at her. "How did it feel being back?"
"Terrifying." She admits honestly. "But after the first cut, it was like I never left." Callie gently caresses her girlfriend's cheek.
"You did it." Callie kisses her. "I bet you are feeling pretty badass right now?"
"A little. But I had my awesome girlfriend to help me through it." Callie looks confused but decides not to comment on it. "Do you know what this badass would like right now?" She asks suggestively. Callie rolls her eyes already knowing what Arizona wants.
"Your donuts are in the kitchen." Arizona wraps her arms around the singer leaving a wet kiss on her cheek before bouncing off to the kitchen.