Author's Note
Alright, back with the next chapter, with more detentions for your reading pleasure. I've had a decent month, got to see the second Avengers. It was awesome! (Elevator's not worthy.) Also been rereading Nura: Rise of the Youkai Clan, or Nurarihyon no Mago, depending on how you like your title. They had the second season on Netflix and it reminded me what a good series that was. Of course Bleach has been interesting, what with Yhwach of the thousand eyes and his feng shui ruining of the palace. I don't really care for the seeming canonization of Memories of Nobody, I didn't like that movie much, Hell Verse was so much better (Vasto Lorde rampage).
Anywho, enjoy the chapter!
The door to one of the teacher's rooms squeaks open, though the room's occupant doesn't look up, instead he continues to scribble away on his piece of paper.
"I suppose I should move up the reiatsu control lessons." Urahara off-handedly comments.
"It would be for the best." Yoruichi replies, jumping up onto his desk. "I doubt Ichigo will learn control well enough before he's finished these detentions, but it should at least help."
"I must admit I am curious as to what kind of detention could rile him up like that. Kurosaki-san may not be the most level-headed person in the world, but he does know how to behave himself. Care to explain?"
"It's more torture than it is detention." Yoruichi says, causing Urahara to actually look up from his papers. "That toad of a woman is making them write lines with magic quills that carve what they write into the back of their hands." She explains with disgust. Yoruichi is by no means a stranger to harsh discipline, but it wasn't a mindless torture that served no purpose besides causing pain like this was.
"That is quite nasty." Urahara replies, theories as to how such a phenomena could be made running through his mind, though he curbed himself in before he got to other applications.
"That's not even the worst of it. Their hands heal some after each line, a bit of relief to make the last cut as painful as the first." Yoruichi huffs, unable to help but be slightly impressed by thoroughness of it as a torture, unable to resist thinking how such tools could have been useful in her onmitsukido days.
"Hmm. I think loophole lessons will have to prioritize over reiatsu control." Urahara murmurs. "It would probably be best if Kurosaki-san is not thinking about those quills or reining in the power that could squish Umbridge-san while in such a bad mood. But enough with cover problems, I think I've figured out where one of our targets is hiding. Would you go check it out, my dear Yoruichi-san?" Urahara asks, trying for a charming grin.
"And you're not going yourself because…?"
"I have a cover to maintain and Hirako-san spending time in Soul Society strains it enough as is. So pretty please?" Urahara asks, fluttering his fan.
"Don't' worry, I'll go. It'll be fun, besides, there's really not much to do in this school anyways." Yoruichi replies.
The next morning when Orihime, Uryu, and Ichigo showed up for "spiritual arts" lessons, Shinji took charge of Uryu and Orihime while Urahara pulled Ichigo aside.
"I heard about your detention last night from Yoruichi-san." Urahara says, gauging Ichigo's reaction.
"Look, Geta-boushi, if you've got a solution, just share it." Ichigo growls.
"It's not a solution per say, but it should help. Take advantage of the loopholes in her instructions."
"Loopholes?" Ichigo asks in disbelief. "Do I look like Ishida?" he asks, thinking back to the obscure loophole the Quincy claimed would allow him to help Ichigo and Chad rescue Orihime in Hueco Mundo. "I don't think this is that simple."
"I beg to differ. The biggest problem you face with sitting through that detention is keeping your temper in check, correct?" Getting a nod from Ichigo, Urahara continues, "Then what you need is a distraction or outlet for that temper. So the rule is to write lines until Umbridge-san calls a stop, yes?" Another nod. "Did she say anything about writing or doing something besides those lines?"
"No, and I don't see where you're going with this. It's detention. You do the assigned task." Ichigo says.
Urahara sighs. Getting Ichigo to understand and use the underhanded art of loopholes was going to be a chore. "I'll walk you through finding a loophole. First, take that rule at face value. Write lines until told to stop. Could you sing a song while you write lines?"
"Why would I sing while writing lines?" Ichigo asks, confused.
"It's an example, Kurosaki-san, just go with it. Could you sing?" Urahara says, slightly exasperated.
"I… guess?" Ichigo says uncertainly.
"Yes, you could because Umbridge-san has not explicitly forbid it, nor do any of the school rules." Urahara feels a small grin tug at his lips as a look of understanding takes Ichigo's face. "The trick to loopholes is to discard any unspoken or implied rules and to take advantage of what's taken for granted. Think you could do that?"
"Yeah," a dark grin spreads over Ichigo's face, "yeah, I think I could."
'Oi, Zangetsu! You still got that list of tortures for the toad?'
'Sure as hell do! This is gonna be fun!' The blade spirit cackles in crazed delight.
'Yes. Yes it is.'
When Harry and Ichigo showed up for detention that night, Umbridge was waiting for them, a piece of parchment in her hand.
"Before we start, I would like to ask what the meaning of this is, Mr. Kurosaki." Umbridge says turning the paper around for them to see. Written in what was now a rusty brown looking ink are lines of 'I must respect my superiors.' It was the end of each line that caught Harry's attention. After each repetition of the sentence was a smiley face with horns and a jagged-toothed grin, easily insulting and twisting the meaning of the written lines. Harry glanced over at Ichigo, but the other's face was blank.
"Meaning of what?" Ichigo asks calmly. "You told me to write 'I must respect my superiors' until you called a stop, so I did."
Harry can't help but stare at Ichigo now. Last night he had been angry enough to punch a stone wall, now he was acting as if Umbridge wasn't even a bother. It didn't make any sense. Harry himself was hardly ready to speak with the toad without insulting her and Ichigo had been in a worse mood about it. What had changed?
Umbridge frowns at Ichigo's purposeful ignorance of the additions he'd made to his lines. She had expected a cocky retort, not a calm skirt-around of the problem. "The smiley faces, Mr. Kurosaki. Why are they here?"
"Oh, those." Ichigo says as if he'd just noticed them. "I thought they'd make the lines look better." He says with false innocence.
"I see." Umbridge skeptically replies. She's quite certain he meant them as an insult. "Well, no more of them. Am I understood?"
"Wakarimasu (I understand)." Ichigo replies. Receiving a stare of confusion he answers again, "I understand."
"Alright, both of you get to work." Umbridge says, believing the matter to be resolved.
Harry and Ichigo sit down and begin writing their lines again.
Harry can't help but peek at Ichigo every now and then, still trying to uncover the secret to his sudden calm in Umbridge's presence. He barely stops himself from making a sound of surprise when he spots what appears to be the answer: Ichigo is not writing lines. Instead he is calmly doodling away on his parchment, the lines still being cut into the back of his hand. Aware that staring too long could get him in trouble, Harry looks back to his own parchment, mind scrambling to explain why Ichigo would risk more detentions just so he could doodle, in his own blood. The insanity of it kept Harry peaking at Ichigo throughout the detention.
As the night progressed, Harry had to give Ichigo credit for the diversity of his doodles. The only thing they constantly featured was a toad with a bow and the words "I must respect my superiors," everything else was in constant flux. There was the toad being crushed under a rock with the line etched on it, the toad boiling in a pot with the line floating in the water, a man with long hair shouting the line as he shoot the toad with a bow while some thing with many eyes watched on, the toad being beaten by poorly drawn rabbits while one held up a sign with the line, the toad being run over by a boar with a bow and the line written on its side, the toad getting wacked over the head with a cane by a strangely dressed man shouting the line. The variations went on and on.
Eventually Umbridge called a stop, had them show her their hands once again, and then dismissed them. Harry followed Ichigo's lead in rushing out as quickly as possible, not wanting to be caught in the room when Umbridge discovered what Ichigo had done, not to mention that he didn't want to spend any longer than necessary in her presence. About halfway down the corridor they heard her shriek of outrage and started running. They only slowed down once they'd put a couple of floors between themselves and the toad.
"You're… crazy." Harry panted, slightly jealous that Ichigo didn't seem the least bit tired after their brief run.
"And what makes you say that?" Ichigo asks, a knowing grin on his face, still feeling a sense of pleasure from drawing some of the ways that Zangetsu had come up with for torturing the toad. He had stuck to the more ridiculous ones that couldn't really be carried out in real life, but were none the less satisfying in their absurdity.
"She's going to give you more detention." Harry replies instead, trying to be stern and failing as he reveals in the small strike against the toad.
"On what grounds?" Ichigo asks, casually strolling off down the corridor with Harry easily falling in line. "I was faithfully serving my detention of writing lines. I even went above and beyond by making them more appealing to the eye." Harry stares at him before they both burst into laughter at the absurdity of it.
Harry's good mood leaves when they reach the common room and he realizes that he's still got a mountain of homework to attend to. Instead of going to bed as he sorely wished to do, Harry sat down and got to work, Ichigo joining him. It was late when they finished and Harry ended up asleep fully clothed.
The following day passed in a blur of tiredness. Soon enough it was time for the third detention.
"I suppose you think this is funny, Mr. Kurosaki." Umbridge says, brandishing Ichigo's lines and doodles. Harry has to muffle a snicker upon seeing them again. "I believe I told you last night not to doodle."
"What are you talking about?" Ichigo asks with false innocence. "You just told me to stop adding smiley faces to my lines. I didn't use any smiley faces last night."
Umbridge glares at him. "You will be serving an extra detention with me for this."
"Why? I wrote my lines. You never said I couldn't doodle before now and it's not against any school rules." Ichigo says, sounding affronted.
Umbridge swells up with annoyance, displeased that he had sound reasoning to squirm out of the punishment. "I suppose you are right, so I suppose you won't have an extra detention, but absolutely no more doodling!" she demands.
With that out of the way, Harry and Ichigo got to work. They had been writing for two hours when Harry stopped writing, 'I must not tell lies' failing to heal on the back of his hand. Umbridge looked up at the decrease in noise and smiled when she saw both boys' hands freely bleeding.
"Ah." Umbridge said in a soft, satisfied manner, coming over to look more closely at Harry's hand. "Good. That ought to serve as a reminder to you, oughtn't it? You may leave for tonight. Let's see how you're doing ."
"Do I still have to come back tomorrow?" Harry asks, drawing Umbridge's attention back to him as he picks up his bag with his left hand to avoid using his stinging right.
"Oh, yes." Umbridge says, a side grin on her face. "Yes, I think we can etch the message a little deeper with another evening's work. Now your hand, Mr. Kurosaki."
Ichigo puts down his quill and offers up his hand. Umbridge's eyes bulge in surprise and fury, for the back of his hand was an unintelligible mess. 'I must respect my superiors' was only slightly visible among the mess of symbols sluggishly bleeding on a backdrop of other misaligned scratches.
Umbridge turned to look at his parchment and found that every other line on it was written in Japanese characters, making them completely illegible to her, not that she needed to be able to read them. It was rather obvious from last night's antics that they would be insults or threats.
"Mr. Kurosaki!" Umbridge yells, rounding on him.
"What? I was practicing my kanji between lines. There's thousands of kanji, so it's important to practice them." Ichigo replies, his innocent act ruined by a light of mischievous glee in his eyes.
"There will be no more writing in other languages during detention." Umbridge says, voice carefully controlled. "Am I making myself clear, Mr. Kurosaki?"
"Crystal." Ichigo replies.
"We'll get the message to sink in yet, I think, Mr. Kurosaki. You may go as well." Umbridge dismisses, believing that Ichigo's unruly behavior has run its course.
Ichigo shrugs and grabs his bag with his right hand, a move that scoffs at the state of his hand, saying 'Pain? From these little things? I don't think so.' and together, Ichigo and Harry leave the classroom. Although as soon as they're out of sight Ichigo switches his bag to his left hand, shaking the right out and sending droplets of blood flying.
"You're insane and she's evil. She's an evil, twisted, mad, old –" Harry rants, Ichigo calmly walking at his side, "Ron?"
"Nani? (what?)" Ichigo asks, confused as to how the toad was a 'twisted, evil, mad, old Ron,' at least until he spotted the ginger haired boy behind one of the statues at the top of the stairs clutching a broomstick which he was now trying to hide behind his back.
"What are you doing?" Harry asks, curious as to what would have his best friend in the corridors at night with his new Cleansweeo Eleven.
"Er – nothing. What are you doing?" Ron asks, trying to divert the topic from himself, causing Harry to frown.
"Going back to the dorm, but if you two want to stay and chat, feel free. Oyasumi (goodnight)." Ichigo replies, sweeping past, leaving the two friends alone.
"Come on, you can tell me!" Harry presses, unreserved in asking now that Ichigo has left their company. Harry liked the Japanese teen well enough, but he wasn't willing to make Ron talk about private stuff in front of him. "I won't tell anyone. What are you hiding here for?"
"I'm… I'm hiding from Fred and George, if you must know." Ron says, looking a little embarrassed. "They just went past with a bunch of first years, I bet they're testing stuff on them again, I mean, they can't do it in the common room now, can they, not with Hermione there." Ron says in a fast and feverish way.
"But what have you got your broom for, you haven't been flying, have you?" Harry asks.
"I… well… well, okay, I'll tell you, but don't laugh, alright?" Ron says, turning red with embarrassment. "I-I thought I'd try out for Gryffindor Keeper now I've got a decent broom. There. Go on. Laugh."
"I'm not laughing." Harry says, causing Ron to blink. "It's a brilliant idea! It'd be really cool if you got on the team! I've never seen you play Keeper, are you good?"
"I'm not bad." Ron replies, relief filling him to have his best friend's support. "Charlie, Fred, and George made me Keep for them when they were training during holidays."
"So you've been practicing tonight?"
"Every evening since last Tuesday… just on my own, though, I've been trying to bewitch the Quaffles to fly at me, but it hasn't been easy and I don't know how much use it'll be." Ron says, starting to look nervous. "Fred and George are going to laugh themselves stupid when I turn up for tryouts. They haven't stopped taking the mickey out of me since I got made prefect."
"I wish I was going to be there." Harry says with bitter longing, cursing Umbridge as they set off together down the corridor.
"Yeah, so do – Harry, what's that on the back of your hand?" Ron asks taking notice of a splash of color when Harry absentmindedly reached up to scratch his nose.
Harry tries to hide his hand, but fails as Ron grabs his arm and brings the offending hand into clear view, staring at the words engraved into the back of Harry's hand.
"I thought you said she was giving you lines?" Ron says accusingly, horror and concern written all over his face.
Harry hesitated in answering, but Ron had been honest with him and Orihime already knew, so Harry told Ron the truth. He told Ron about the hours spent carving up his own hand at Umbridge's demand.
"You wouldn't believe Ichigo though, he's doodled and wrote insults in Japanese! I can't believe she hasn't given him more detentions." Harry says.
"How'd he manage that?" Ron asks in awed disbelief.
"Said he was doing his lines and that she didn't say he couldn't do it and that there weren't any rules forbidding it. I still can't believe she let him get away with it like that."
"How was that doing his lines?"
"Well, he'd write his line once for each time he did something besides that, so it was kinda true."
"Blimey, he really is crazy, doing all that in his own blood. Anyways, you should go to McGonagall, say something. The old hag's sick. She can't be allowed to do something like this!"
"No." Harry says resolutely. "I'm not giving her the satisfaction of knowing she's got to me."
"Got to you? You can't just let her get away with this!"
"I don't know how much power McGonagall's got over her." Harry says.
"Dumbledore, then, tell Dumbledore!"
"No." Harry says flatly.
"Why not?"
"He's got enough on his mind." Like avoiding me, Harry thought. It still chaffed him that Dumbledore hadn't spoken to him at all since June. He wasn't going to help from a person who was no longer acknowledging him.
"Well, I reckon you should –" Ron began, but was cut off by the Fat Lady urging them to quit standing around talking in front of her portrait.
Friday was hardly any nicer than the previous days. The only good thing was that it was the last day of the week and, as Harry had thought about it and realized, there was a slight chance of seeing the tryouts from the window in Umbridge's office.
At five o'clock, Harry and Ichigo reported to Umbridge's office once more for what Harry truly hoped was the last time. The parchment and quills lay ready for them.
"You know what to do." Umbridge says, smiling sweetly at them.
Umbridge made sure to watch Ichigo carefully this time, periodically looking for any irregular movements of his quill that would indicate that he was once more doodling his lines or adding Japanese writing instead of just plain writing the lines. However, there was nothing special to see. Harry was actually semi-grateful that Ichigo was drawing her attention, it gave him more chances to glance at the tryouts, not that he ever really got any idea of who was trying out.
Eventually Umbridge called a stop. By the time she did, their writing had become liberally spotted with the drip of blood off the backs of their hands. This time Umbridge started her check with Ichigo. She looked at his hand and upon seeing the mess of illegible bleeding lines on it, she snatched up Ichigo's parchment and stared at it with growing horror. Harry had to crane his neck to get a good view, but it was worth it. The lines had still been written, but this night's unconventional method was poetry. Harry read as quickly as he could, trying to see just how well Ichigo had mangled the detention before Umbridge took it away. They read:
What to do with a Toad
Take a toad with an ugly bow
And beat it blow after blow
For all it said was "I must respect my superiors"
Stick it in a pot
Leave it there to rot
Still, "I must respect my superiors"
Kick it like a ball
Watch it bounce off the wall
Still, "I must respect my superiors"
Hit it on the head
Do it with a brick of lead
Still, "I must respect my superiors"
Exorcise the thing
Let the Bwahahahas ring
Still, "I must respect my superiors"
Cut it in two
It will cease to bother you
No more "I must respect my superiors"
Respect and Superiors
I can't believe I'm doing this
Must we mangle our hands to write lines?
Respect is not being shown to us as students
My person is being harmed in a "safe" environment
Superiors who treat others poorly get overthrown
Respectful Haiku
Demanded of me
Respect for superiors
And so fell the toad
It was hard not to laugh at the thinly veiled insults he had aimed at Umbridge. Each one had somehow incorporated his line of 'I must respect my superiors' and even had a title.
"Mr. Kurosaki, what is this?" Umbridge asks in a soft, angered voice.
"My lines." Ichigo answers, face straight. "I thought they were boring and you already ruled out drawing. Since I like Shakespeare I thought I'd make it poetic. Help make the message stick better, ya know?"
Umbridge pursed her lips and looked about ready to scream. She had finally realized that it wasn't just a bored disrespect for detentions that had led to Ichigo's mangling of his punishment, but a willful and deliberate act of defiance against her authority. She supposed she could give him more detentions, but that string of logic he'd first brought up on the third night could well be argued, and more than that, the boy seemed nearly unaffected by this method of punishment after the first night. No, it would better to wait for him to slip up again in her presence, something she was sure both boys would do, and make sure he was correctly punished then.
"Let's see if you've gotten your message yet, shall we, Mr. Potter?" Umbridge says softly, stretching out her stubby fingers for his arm.
The moment she grabbed him pain seared through his scar, causing him to jump up and wrench his arm out of her grip. A wide, smugly satisfied grin stretched her face.
"Yes, it hurts, doesn't it?" Umbridge says with mock sympathy.
Harry's heart was pounding in his chest. Was she talking about his hand or did she know about the pain in his scar? Was she somehow like Quirrell?
"Well, I think I've made my point. You may go."
Harry grabbed his bag and left as quickly as possible. He took off sprinting down the hall, trying to remain calm as thoughts of Voldemort and Umbridge and his scar hurting all intertwined. He really hoped that what happened didn't mean what he thought it meant.
"Matte, Harry! (Wait, Harry!)" Ichigo calls, grabbing Harry's shoulder to make the other boy slow down. "You alright?"
"Wha- Er, yeah, I'm fine." Harry says, not wanting to talk with Ichigo about his scar.
Ichigo raises an eyebrow, but doesn't push.
The rest of their return to the common room is not nearly so rushed, though Harry barely kept his pace below a jog. It was a surprise to come back to a party in the common room, but Harry was glad to hear that Ron had been made the Keeper for Gryffindor. Since Ron was busy celebrating, Harry told Hermione about what had happened with Umbridge, refusing her advice to go to Dumbledore about it. After declining to help her make more elf hats, Harry went off to bed.
Meanwhile, Ichigo had shoved his way through the partying students to Orihime. The moment she saw his hand, she grabbed it and pulled him to a corner where she could heal it without anyone seeing.
"[She's horrible.]" Orihime pouts, running her fingers over his perfectly healed hand. "[She shouldn't be allowed to do something like this.]"
"[I know, but we just have to deal with her until we're done here.]" Ichigo says, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. "[And I'm nothing if not tough.]" He says with a wistful grin, thinking back to the much more debilitating injuries he's taken while fighting without going down.
"[Promise you won't get in trouble with her again?]" Orihime asks, knowing that any promise Ichigo makes he does his best to keep.
"[I promise I'll try.]" Ichigo says with a gentle smile.
"[Good.]" Orihime says, giving him a hug. Then they part and go off to bed.
Author's Note
So what do you think? I personally like these detentions better than the first, but that's me. Before I get any complaints, yeah the poetry might be a stretch, but I had fun doing it and I think the Quincy half of Zangetsu could manage to fuel that as intelligent insults. Also, fanfiction here does not like making stanzas stand out. What to do with a Toad is three line stanzas always ending with the detention line.
Also got a bit of foreshadowing to dealing with why the Bleach crew is actually here. Not entirely sure when I'll expand on that though since I'm just making this up as I go for the most part :P
Please comment/review to tell me how I did.