Author's Note
Happy Aniversary to this story! *rain of confetti* It's been a year to the day since I started posting this story and my what a year. It's amazing that in this time I've gotten 363 favorites and 538 followers for this one story. You guys make me feel so special! So thanks to those of you who have been here from the start and welcome to those who have found their way in this deep. Kanpai to this next year of updates!
Anywho, here's the chapter. Enjoy!
The Daily Prophet that morning did indeed have what could only be the article that Percy had mentioned in his letter. In fact, it was plastered across the front page. Once Hermione had flattened out the newspaper on the table, they could see the picture of Dolores Umbridge giving her fake, sugary smile to all.
"Please tell me that's an article about how the toad is an absolute failure as a teacher and that they're going to get rid of her." Ichigo says upon seeing the picture.
No one replies, but the headline tells the story:
MINISTRY SEEKS EDUCATIONAL REFORM
DOLORES UMBRIDGE APPOINTED FIRST-EVER "HIGH INQUISITOR"
" 'High Inquisitor'? What does that mean?" Harry asks, his half-eaten toast slipping from his fingers as he leans over to get a better look as the article.
"It sounds disturbingly like she is getting a promotion." Uryu says, pushing aside some of the dishes so he can see the paper from across the table.
Hermione pales a bit at the thought before looking down and beginning to read aloud:
"In a surprise move last night the Ministry of Magic passed new legislation giving itself an unprecedented level of control at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."
"Damn it." Uryu curses, realizing that he was right. More power to Umbridge was not a good idea.
" 'The Minister has been growing uneasy about goings-on at Hogwarts for some time,' said Junior Assistant to the Minister, Percy Weasley."
"Yeah, 'cause he's a paranoid ass." Ichigo comments, remembering the talk of Fudge's fear of Dumbledore pursuing his job.
" 'He is now responding to concerns voiced by anxious parents, who feel the school may be moving in a direction they don't approve.' "
Uryu snorts. "They only feel that way because of all the slander the Ministry has been throwing against Dumbledore-sensei."
"This is not the first time in recent weeks that Fudge has used new laws to effect improvements at the Wizarding school. As recently as August 30th Educational Decree Twenty-two was passed, to ensure that, in the event of the current headmaster being unable to provide a candidate for a teaching post, the Ministry should select an appropriate person.
'That's how Dolores Umbridge came to be appointed to the teaching staff at Hogwarts,' said Weasley last night. 'Dumbledore couldn't find anyone, so the Minister put in Umbridge and of course, she's been an immediate success –"
"She's been a WHAT?" Harry says loudly.
"A success? Says who?" Ichigo questions a bit more calmly.
"Wait, there's more." Hermione says grimly.
"–an immediate success, totally revolutionizing the teaching of Defense Against the Dark Arts"
"Yeah, by not teaching anything at all." Ichigo mumbles in annoyance.
"and providing on-the-ground feedback about what's really happening at Hogwarts."
"Does that include her torture of two students?" Ichigo angrily questions.
"It is this last function that the Ministry has now formalized with the passing of Educational Decree Twenty-three, which creates the new position of Hogwarts High Inquisitor.
This is an exciting new phase in the Minister's plan to get to grips with what some call the 'falling standards' at Hogwarts,' said Weasley. 'The Inquisitor will have the power to inspect her fellow educators and make sure that they are coming up to scratch."
"How could people believe that is necessary when she's the only new teacher?" Uryu questions.
"Professor Umbridge has been offered this position in addition to her own teaching post, and we are delighted to sat that she has accepted.'
The Ministry's new moves have received enthusiastic support from parents of students at Hogwarts.
'I feel much easier in my mind now that I know that Dumbledore is being subjected to air and objective evaluation,' said Mr. Lucius Malfoy, 41, speaking from his Wiltshire mansion last night."
"Riiight. Because the toad isn't biased against the old man at all." Ichigo says.
" 'Many of us with our children's best interests at heart have been concerned about some of Dumbledore's eccentric decisions in the last few years and will be glad to know that the Ministry is keeping an eye on the situation.'
Among those 'eccentric decisions' are undoubtedly the controversial staff appointments previously described in this newspaper, which have included the hiring of werewolf Remus Lupin, half-giant Rubeus Hagrid, and delusional ex-Auror 'Mad-Eye' Moody.
Rumors abound, of course, that Albus Dumbledore, once Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, is no longer up to the task of managing the prestigious school of Hogwarts."
Snorts went all around the paper at what they all felt to be a ludicrous statement. Dumbledore was far from senile, keeping an intelligent twinkle in his eye even as the Ministry tried to wear him down.
" 'I think the appointment of the Inquisitor is a first step toward ensuring that Hogwarts has a headmaster in whom we can all repose confidence,' said a Ministry insider last night."
Uryu frowns at this as it implies that Dumbledore will be removed from his position, soon.
"Wizengamot elders Griselda Marchbanks and Tiberius Ogden have resigned in protest at the introduction of the post of Inquisitor to Hogwarts.
'Hogwarts is a school, not an outpost of Cornelius Fudge's office,' said Madam Marchbanks. 'This is a further disgusting attempt to discredit Albus Dumbledore.' (For a full account of Madam Marchbanks' alleged links to subversive goblin groups, turn to page 17)."
Hermione finishes reading and looks around at the others, finding similar looks of disgust directed at the article and the meaning it holds.
"So now we know how we ended up with Umbridge! Fudge passed this 'Educational Degree' and forced her on us! And now he's given her the power to inspect other teachers!" Hermione says, breathing fast and eyes bright with indignant fury. "I can't believe this. It's outrageous…"
"The Minister guy should get a new name. He's an insult to the absolute goodness that is real fudge."
"That doesn't make any sense, Kurosaki." Uryu says, wondering if he even wanted to know what was going on in the hybrid's head.
"Sure it does, Ishida-kun!" Orihime replies. "Fudge is supposed to be sweet and make you really happy, but the Minister is being mean and making students miserable. His name should be 'Brusselsprouts' because no one likes them."
"You can't just change his name to match a bad food." Ichigo argues back. "Then you just think about rolling him off the table and to a dog or something. If you want a good insulting name it's gotta have a bit of truth to it. Take calling pinky up there the toad for example." Ichigo says, pointing at Umbridge.
"Right! So then it should be…"
"Uhh…"
Everyone seems to be at a loss as to how to reply to the argument of what Fudge's name should be changed to.
"Okay then. Um, back to Umbridge and her new job?" Harry half asks, not sure if he should laugh at the ridiculous debate or join in.
"Well I can't wait to see McGonagall inspected." Ron says happily with a gleeful grin. "Umbridge won't know what hit her."
"Well, come on." Hermione says, having realized the time and leaving her seat. "We'd better get going, if she's inspecting Binns's class we don't want to be late…"
Umbridge was not inspecting their History of Magic class, though it was still dull to the point of sleep inducement. Nor was she in the Potions class in which Snape gave a lecture on the poor quality of the essays that had been handed in, saying that most would have failed their O.W.L.s with such a performance.
Besides receiving a D on his essay, which according to Fred and George was not the worst he could do (though their counsel was dubious), Harry felt that it was an acceptably alright morning. He had managed to avoid having Snape vanish his potion again and Umbridge had not been around his classes, yet.
This changed during Divination. Umbridge showed up in the classroom and spent most of the time shadowing Professor Trelawney, to the Seer's apparent discontent. Harry would have felt bad for her, if she hadn't gone and interpreted all his dreams, even one involving eating porridge, as signs for early and gruesome death after being forced to 'See' for Umbridge. It was just hard to feel sympathy for someone who was announcing your horrible death-to-be to the whole class.
When Harry and Ron made it to their Defense Against the Dark Arts class after Divination, they found Umbridge already in the classroom, humming and smiling to herself as they entered. The boys tell Hermione, Uryu, and Orihime about what had occurred in their Divination class, but before any of them can inquire further about what happened Umbridge calls the class to attention.
"Wands away." Umbridge says, directing it at the few foolish students that still held out hope that she would allow them to use magic. Silly children. "As we finished chapter one last lesson, I would like you all to turn to page nineteen today and commence chapter two, 'Common Defensive Theories and Their Derivation.' There will be no need to talk." Umbridge instructs, taking a seat at her desk while smiling in self-satisfaction.
The class dully groans in response and turns to page nineteen. Many wonder if that's all this class will be. Open the book and read the chapter. The monotony of it would be worse than History of Magic. But this attempt at absolute boredom is broken by a hand in the air.
Hermione's hand has made its way into the air once more.
Umbridge notices the girl's hand in the air and in an attempt to avoid the fiasco of last week's 'debate' gets up from her seat to confront Hermione a bit more privately. The soft scrape of Umbridge's chair is heard by all in the silent classroom, gaining the attention of the other students, leading them to peak over the edges of their textbooks. Umbridge bends down and whispers in a way that would have gone unheard were the class not deathly silent, "What is it this time, Miss Granger?"
"I've already read chapter two." Hermione replies, barely whispering at all in response to Umbridge's attempt for discretion.
"Well then, proceed to chapter three." Umbridge tells her, sounding annoyed that she had gotten out of her seat for something as simple as that.
"I've read that too. I've read the whole book."
Umbridge blinks, surprise written all over her face, before regaining her composure almost instantly. "Well, then you should be able to tell me what Slinkhard says about counterjinxes in chapter fifteen." Umbridge inquires, sure that she has caught Hermione in the middle of a bluff.
"He says that counterjinxes are improperly named." Hermione answers, ready to recite whatever answers Umbridge could possibly want. "He says 'counterjinx' is just a name people give their jinxes when they want to make them sound more acceptable."
Umbridge's eyebrows rise in surprise and she feels a grudging respect for Hermione's well given answer.
"But I disagree."
The respect vanishes instantly, replaced by suspicion, annoyance, and the slightest hint of anger. Umbridge's eyebrows go a little higher, her gaze cold. "You disagree?" she questions, her tone making it apparent that it is a loaded question.
"Yes, I do." Hermione firmly replies, having given up her barely a whisper voice to speak clearly for all the class to hear. "Mr. Slinkhard doesn't like jinxes, does he? But I think they can be very useful when they're used defensively."
"Oh, you do, do you?" Umbridge says, also leaving the whisper behind as she straightens up. "Well, I'm afraid it is Mr. Slinkhard's opinion, and not yours, that matters within this classroom, Miss Granger."
"But –" Hermione begins, ready to argue.
"That is enough." Umbridge says, voice sharp. She returns to the front of the class, who by now had dropped the pretense of reading, and stood before them, all of her previous cheer gone. "Miss Granger, I am going to take five points from Gryffindor House."
Mutters circulated the classroom at this.
"What for?" Harry asks angrily, ready to go another round with the toad for his friend.
"Don't you get involved!" Hermione urgently whispers to him, concerned about what will happen to Harry if he does get the toad to engage him.
"For disrupting my class with pointless interruptions." Umbridge smoothly replies as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I am here to teach you using a Ministry approved method that does not include inviting students to give their opinions on matters about which they understand very little."
"Then help us understand it more."
Umbridge starts in surprise, looking around to see who had spoken. The task was unexpectedly easy as the culprit had his hand raised and a determined look in his eyes.
"And what would you mean by that, Mr. Ishida?" she asks.
"How can you expect us to understand matters of defense more than a little if all we do is read about it? Things are best understood in one of two ways: when one directly experiences it, which you have already made quite clear is not going to happen, or by hearing and debating the multiple facets and opinions on the subject. There is no absolute truth in opinions. If you intend to deny us the chance to speak of our own experience and insight so that you might provide your own informed opinions and convince us otherwise, this class will have very little impact. You are a teacher, help us find more meaning to the words in a textbook, or are you so underprepared that you can't even do that?"
Umbridge's eyes bulge at the thinly veiled insults directed at her. They were much harder to refute than Mr. Kurosaki's refusal to accept her as a teacher because they weren't explicitly aimed at her, rather they targeted any teacher using methods like hers. Her brows furrow and anger lights her eyes. He was playing a game of politics with her. It had been years since she'd actually had to play at politics. After she had become one of Fudge's trusted lackeys such things were unneeded. Her position under Fudge only required the slightest cleaning of words to achieve most anything she wanted.
"I believe you will find, Mr. Ishida, that it is quite possible for students to learn from reading the textbook and keeping their opinions to themselves." Umbridge replies, confident in her answer. The said students feel much more swayed by Uryu's elegant argument than Umbridge's stout refusal, something the toad barely seems to notice. "This is the Ministry approved curriculum. I understand that previous teachers for this subject may have allowed you more license, but all of them, with the possible exception of Professor Quirrell, who appeared to have at least restricted himself to age-appropriate subjects, would have passed a Ministry inspection."
"Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher," Harry says loudly, fed up with Umbridge's dismissal of two very intelligent individuals and ready to try the stubborn and angrily insulted route again, "there was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head."
Harry's angry comeback created an absolute silence. The class waited with baited breath.
"I think another week's detention would do you some good, Mr. Potter." Umbridge says sleekly.
This week's worth of detention was slightly more miserable than the last, mostly because Ichigo wasn't there to creatively insult the toad, not that the carrot-top wasn't perfectly happy to teach Harry a plethora of cusses that he could mentally aim at the toad while he carved I must not tell lies deeper into his hand. It helped Harry keep his silence during the detentions. He absolutely refused to give Umbridge even an inch, even if it meant enduring torture in utter silence alone with his thoughts.
The worst part of the second week of detention was Angelina's reaction the morning after he'd been assigned the damn things. She had corned him before breakfast and had shouted at him loud enough to draw Professor McGonagall's attention. Unfortunately for Harry, McGonagall did not come to his aid, rather she berated him as well, leaving Harry feeling even worse.
'Damn stupid toad.'
Author's Note
I know, it's kinda a short chapter, but I really wanted to post on the story's one year anniversary. It's not too bad, right? We'll see if I can't get another chapter out before the end of the month. No promises.
Now a quick shameless plug. I started a drabble series for before the main storyline of Bleach but after Isshin left Soul Society about things, mostly Isshin and the things he has to adapt to, but I plan to have some Masaki and Ryuken based chapters. Anywho go check it out.
Please comment/review to tell me how I did.