Fifty: Turtle's Torment

Author's Note: Out late after helping Marinette prepare for the fashion show, Chat encounters an agitated Carapace roaming the night skies of Paris long after hours.

Much to my chagrin, even with the help of my peerless seamstresses, Marinette and I wound up working around the clock prepping for the fashion show I had committed us to; at one point, somewhere around three in the morning on Tuesday, I'd lost track of just how many outfits I had put on and taken off. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd eaten, let alone enjoyed a cup of coffee. Seeing myself in the three-way mirror, I noted the puffy eyes and hint of dark circles around them that my makeup artist would work overtime to hide in just a few hours' time.

I stepped off the raised platform and wandered over to Marinette. At that hour, there were just a handful of people in the cavernous design studio at House of Gabriel, and I leaned down to put my chin on her shoulder. For a moment, we were alone. "How are you doing, Princess?" I asked as I nuzzled her ear with my nose.

"Adrien," Marinette emphasized without looking up, "you're getting a little too familiar."

Startled, I belatedly realized I was standing there in Gabriel boxer briefs, not feline ears and a domino mask. I took a respectful step back and reached for my robe, reminding myself as I knotted the belt that we still had a bit to go before our civilian selves could be an official couple. "Sorry," I whispered as I leaned around her again. "I'm more tired than I realized."

"You're forgiven," she laughed quietly as she made a final adjustment just as one of my seamstresses appeared. "That's it, Julie," she sighed as she sat back. "Last one."

"On it," the small grandmotherly woman said as she whisked the outfit from my girlfriend's hands and disappeared into the darkened space.

I looked after her. "Is that truly the last one?"

"Yes," Marinette said as she pressed the back of her hands to her eyes. Dropping them, she looked to me a bit impishly and lowered her voice. "I haven't had to do alterations for you since that Kitty Section outfit I made years ago. You have quite the physique now, kitty."

I smiled. "Aw, you noticed."

"I had, yes," she said, smiling her private smile for Chat. "On more than a few occasions, actually."

As tired as I was, every feline fiber in me suddenly wanted to wrap her in a hug and spirit her away somewhere where she could review said physique more closely. Sadly, Adrien just continued to smile. "I'm… going to change and head home then, Marinette," I said somewhat loudly, playing to the small crowd. "Unless you need me?"

"No, I'm good for now. I'll see you tomorrow at the Grand Palais."

"Today, I think," I laughed.

"Don't remind me," she sighed.

Not long afterward, I was sitting on a chimney a few blocks from House of Gabriel, watching the moon slowly sink into the horizon. Transforming back to Chat had brought with it the requisite rush of adrenaline, and I knew going home to try and catch some shuteye wasn't really an option. So, instead I sat, tail swishing gently as I enjoyed the muted early morning sounds of the city I loved. When I'd been younger and still cooped up in the mansion as a teenager under Father's control, more nights than not had been spent roaming the city from dusk to dawn; on a few, I'd barely make it back to my bed before Nathalie would appear to awaken me for the day. Tired as I might have been the morning after, those evening prowls had been a much-needed outlet from the lockstep life Adrien had been expected to adhere to without question or complaint.

Now that I had a place of my own – and person I very much wanted to spend time with – I rarely spent nights out and about solo. It was therefore more than a little nostalgic sitting there, but not as much as I would have expected – for I was defelinely a happy kitty these days, unlike that teen from so long ago.

So much had changed for that lonely teenager. I sighed contentedly, thinking of all of the evenings I'd spent over the past year curled up on the couch with Marinette, holding her close and simply enjoying the delightful peace of being at one with the universe. Long had it been Chat toying with the ribbons in her hair; only recently had a certain supermodel replaced said feline, though in truth, Chat still appeared more nights than not. Especially when a round of purr therapy was required after a particularly long day for my girlfriend.

My ruminations were interrupted when my feline eyes caught an unusual movement on the rooftops below my perch. Night vision revealed a familiar but unexpected figure working his way along the spine of the apartment block — well, lumbering might have been a better description. Smiling, I snagged my baton from it's resting place at the small of my back and leapt in his direction.

Landing a few meters to the side of Carapace, I leaned on my baton like a walking stick and grinned. "Turtles aren't normally nocturnal," I observed. "Does the Fox know you're out and about?"

Cap smiled a bit. I'd made enough (intentional) noise helicoptering toward him so as not to surprise him. "No," he replied with a slight trace of embarrassment. "I may have taken a page from a certain feline friend of mine and decided to get some fresh air."

A frown creased my masked visage. "I hope I'm not rubbing off on you," I said as I folded myself against a brick wall and idly twirled my baton. "Absent boyfriends are not the most welcome. And if I'm not mistaken, that fox of yours is rather of fond of you and prefers her turtle to be present."

Carapace looked away and then back. "You're not wrong," he laughed.

My green feline eyes search his begoggled ones, and I nodded slowly. "You were looking for me, weren't you?"

"Yeah," he replied. "You are a hard Chat to find, even with the tracker," he laughed again, and my eyes fell on the small turtle phone that normally fit snugly into his shield. A very recognizable pawprint logo was illuminated on the small map. "This is actually the fourth night I've been out here. I should have asked Al—"

I cleared my throat.

"-Rena about your habits," he added, correcting his mistake in mid-sentence. "She used to chart what nights you were more likely than not to be roaming the night skies of the city."

My masked eyebrows went up. "She defelinely kept better tabs on me than I realized. Kindly tell her I don't caterwaul at the moon anymore. Not since Marinette became part of this kitty's life."

"I realize that now," he said as he snapped the phone shut and slid it back into his shield. "And I don't mean to intrude by any stretch."

"I know," I smiled as I put a paw to my best friend's shoulder. It was a little hard for me to reconcile the fact that while I knew who was under Carapace's mask, my own secret had yet to be shared with the guy who had been at my side since my first days at Dupont. "What's on your mind?"

Carapace sighed. "I want to marry Rena," he said, correctly staying in character this time.

I rolled my eyes. "No kidding. Haven't you been engaged for, what, two years now?"

"Four," he corrected quickly. "Originally, we wanted to finish with college, and then it was getting established in our careers."

"Sensible."

"Yeah," he said, fidgeting. "We've pushed the date of number of times now."

I watched his face, and could see he was deeply troubled. "Something's changed? Recently, I'll wager?"

Carapace looked at me, nodding. "I forget how you can do that," he smiled. "Yeah. What happened to us a few months ago has put some serious brakes on the whole thing, man. Both of us love each other, you know?" he said, his smile faltering. "And that thing Manon did, where she used it against us. Against Rena." He looked at me, his eyes full of pain.

"We're well beyond that, Cap," I said softly. "LB and I both know you were fighting it the whole time."

"This life we lead," he said, partially ignoring me while waving his green-gloved hands at the night sky. "We can't be a couple and do this, can we? Not when it means that loving her – and being loved by her – could put us into harm's way!"

"Sure we can," I answered. "I mean, I've loved Ladybug from the day I met her. Love can't truly be used as a weapon."

"That's exactly what Manon proved to me," he said morosely. "That it could be. And I never want to hurt Rena or see her hurt like that ever again."

I nodded slowly, recognition dawning. "You want to give up your Miraculous."

His eyes shot to mine. "I want both of us to retire," he said softly. "I feel like I can't go through with marriage unless we do." Carapace walked to the edge of the roof. "Except… I know how much it means to Rena to be part of the team. Asking her to give it up is almost as bad as the prospect of getting her hurt because she can be Rena."

"It's not exactly a zero-sum game, Carapace," I said after a moment. "One doesn't mean the exclusion of the other." I put my paw over his shoulder. "And giving up your Miraculous, while noble, is no guarantee that Rena will never get hurt – in love or in any other way."

Carapace looked at me. "That's easy for you to say," he replied sharply. "It's not your girlfriend out there fighting the worst Hawkmoth can throw at us."

It's not easy at all, my friend, I thought. Knowing I'm usually the only thing between girl I will love until my dying breath and her own demise makes me keenly aware of that.

He wasn't wrong, perhaps, for it had only been a short while that I'd known Marinette was Ladybug; at some level, though, it didn't truly change how I'd felt about protecting my partner. And how deeply I cared for her, despite her ostensibly loving someone else. Thankfully that someone else had been me all along. No, I knew very well how he felt; I chastised myself for not realizing sooner that he'd find himself in a similar position with respect to Rena.

Some friend I am.

Despite wanting very badly to correct him, I instead choked by my impulse to reveal everything and smiled a warm Chat smile. "It really isn't," I replied. "I care immeasurably for all members of our team." I leaned in confidentially. "And don't tell Marinette, but some part of me still loves Ladybug. It would kill me if I ever let her get hurt. Or worse."

Carapace looked at me. "You don't think we should retire?"

"I think it's up to each of you what you do," I said. "But know this: Ladybug wouldn't have chosen either one of you if she hadn't felt you were up to the immense responsibility of being a holder. More than that, she's defelinely aware of how you feel about each other." I paused, smiling a bit. "I can't speak for LB, but I know her well enough to say that she likely feels your love for each other is an asset to the team. Not a liability."

He considered me for a moment. "Would you do this if you were married? With kids?"

That caught me for a moment. "Yes," I said after I thought about it. "Even if Marinette agreed to marry me, and we had kittens together – yes," I said with more certainty. "I will be Chat Noir until I'm not able to be effective any longer. And my hope is that is a long, long time from now."

"You wouldn't worry about putting your family in danger?" he asked.

"Of course I would," I replied. "But as Chat Noir, I'd-" I stopped, masked eyes widening. "Dude," I said softly. "Is that what this all about?"

I'd never seen Carapace – or Nino, for that matter – blush as deeply as he did in that moment. Even with night vision, it radiated like a small supernova. "Yeah," he said very, very quietly as he looked away in embarrassment.

"How far along is Rena?" I asked.

"Three months," he said.

I did the math on a paw and couldn't help the sly Chat smile. "You must have been quite… excited… to see Rena after we freed you from Manon's control."

His face darkened again. "We… uh, well… you have to understand. It had been weeks since we'd been able to be with each other – in the same apartment!" he hastened to add, realizing he was starting to sound like a rather bad romance novel.

"Clearly you made up for lost time," I chuckled.

"Yeah," Carapace replied, his face taking on a slight look of satisfaction. "Except we got rather carried away. It's my fault, really-" he looked back at me. "I can't do this with a kid," he finished quietly.

"Sure you can," I said. "Parents for millennia have had to balance kids and work."

Carapace arched an eyebrow. "I don't consider superhero duties work," he said.

"I dunno," I laughed. "I think any parent is a superhero at the end of the day. Fighting Hawkmoth is a piece of cake compared with what you're about to go through."

"Very funny," he chuckled, looking more relaxed than he had in a bit.

I held up my fist for a mutual bump. "Congrats, dude. I had no idea foxes could mate-"

"Hey!" he said, smacking my arm. "That's my future wife you're talking about."

"Sorry," I laughed deeper. "But like I said, it is up to you. If you want to relinquish your Miraculous, I'm sure Ladybug would understand. Especially if there are pups coming."

"Hey!" he cried out again. "They could be turtles!"

"I think I'll side with Rena on this one," I chuckled. "Come on, let me buy you a drink. There has to be a bar still open somewhere in Paris that we can celebrate in."

"I highly doubt anyone will serve a cat and turtle," Carapace observed.

"At this hour?" I pointed out. "We will be far from the strangest customers."