A/N: First thanks for the reviews.

Promise things will eventually pick up. Sorry if folks are out of character they are coming out the way they are in my head these days.

Maybe more tonight if I do not have to skype with co-authors on my RL work.

Chapter 2: What hurts the most?

The trip to Vegas was long. True to her word Jade had not slept the night before. Grissom had more than once to ask for patience from some unknown being. Jade was a great student, extremely ADD at times, and the lack of sleep plus the excitement had her acting like a never ending ball of energy. He missed having that energy level, god he felt old. He had not slept either, but for very different reasons. He could not stop thinking about …not going there. He rubbed his eyes to stave off the headache that threatened to come. He hated traveling.

He looked over at Jade, sitting next to him in the black town car. She had her headphones jammed into hear ears. She played the music at the highest level, always. He warned her about her hearing and she laughed him off. Jade knew about his mom being deaf but did not know about Grissom's troubles with the similar defect. He could hear the music. It did not sound horrible, but he would never tell her that. She had tried to show him how great music was, but he was not that guy. Gil closed his eyes, wishing the headache away. The music was calming…the lull of the traffic jam and the soft notes emitted from the young woman's headphones shifted his state of consciousness into one of sleep.

"Doc, wake up" Jade called to him. She had a thing about touching people or being touched. She called one more time, "Doc wake up we are here."

Gil heard her the second time and slowly opened his eyes, looking confused for a second. Where was he?

"You fell asleep." Jade offered to his confused face. "We are at the hotel now."

Gil put a fake smile on his face, "Sorry." He got out of the town car and grabbed his bag. He offered to take Jade's but she glared at him. She was stubbornly independent, just like…not going there.

"How long since you've been back?" Jade asked. It was an innocent question. She knew little of his life outside of his career.

"It has been awhile." Gil answered dodging the question.

Once inside they walked up to the reception desk and checked in. They were lucky, rooms next to each other. "How about we freshen up and than we go out a grab a bite to eat? I know a good diner you will love?"

"Sure. You know me and diners." Jade sad with a smile on her face.

Gil laughed, a real laugh, "You only drag me to one every conference."

"What can I say there are the fancy pants restaurant people,"

Gil added, "Like me"

"Yes. And there are diner people. I'm a diner person."

"How do you know I'm a fancy pants restaurant person?" Gil asked feeling like an idiot saying fancy pants restaurant, but Jade had a way of making him come down a level or two.

"You just look like it. Doc random quotes."

"Says random movie and music girl."

"You' feeling ok?"

"Why?" Gil asked worried she would see he had a headache starting.

"You have not spouted off some random quote in awhile?"

"Last time I tried, someone stuck their fingers in their ears and started to say 'I'm not listening to you'"

Jade laughed and asked, "Who was that?"

"I do not know." Gil smiled his headache was weakening. "Go get ready."

"Yes Sir Doc Sir."

Gil shook his head as he closed the door to his hotel room. He needed a shower and a change of clothes. He quickly unpacked the items in his carry on. Looking at the pill bottles, he wondered if he should take one of the sleeping pills and slip it in Jade's drink. The girl needed to sleep tonight, but he was sure she was too nervous to sleep. Shaking his head, he knew he would never do that to anyone. But it was an idea.

Looking out his window he saw the strip he had walked down a few hundred times in his life. The hotel across the street had once been the scene of a murder-suicide. He had worked it with Catharine, who had been shocked to find out the husband killed his wife after losing all of their money at the table, and than jumped off the building and killed himself.

The memories this town held. Sometimes he missed it, but most days he knew he made a good decision when he left the job. He would always miss…not going there.

The water was warm; he felt the tension leaving his body. It would be ok. It was highly unlikely in a town this size he would run into anyone he knew. For the lab visit he could let Jade go by herself, just to be safe. She wouldn't mind. She would probably make a joke about not needing a babysitter.

Getting out of the shower, he quickly toweled off and found the jeans and shirt he left out to wear. Quickly dressing he sat down on the bed and closed his eyes for a minute, must have been longer because the next thing he knew there was a knock on the door.

"Come on Doc I'm starving. You need to feed me before midnight or I'll turn into a gremlin." Jade's voice called through the door.

"Ok ok." Gil said, getting that movie reference. Once he opened the door he saw Jade, "That is what you are wearing?"

She had on a t-shirt that any math geek would realize was saying shit got real. "Why yes Doc this is what I am wearing. I am making up for the monkey outfit you are forcing me to wear tomorrow."

"You cannot present in jeans and a t-shirt." Gil said feeling his headache come back. Sometimes Jade was a bit too much.

"Says you." Jade said knowing that she was likely getting on his nerves. "You know a person much wiser than you once told me that you could do whatever the hell you wanted if you were good enough. I mean he gave his address to the entire field wearing torn jeans, and a Grateful Dead t-shirt"

"Well when you get as famous as he is, than you can wear whatever you want to present"

Rolling her eyes Jade grumbled, "Let's go. Food time. "

They got in the taxi the doorman called for them. In the taxi music started to play, Gil knew it as Jade's cellphone. Gil tried to remember the singers name. It was not the band who made the song famous. Jade hated them, she ranted about it once when someone accused her of liking that group. It was a singer of a band Jade loved. Staind that was the group, and the signer was Aaron Lewis. The only man Jade said she would willingly marry.

What hurts the most
Is being so close
Having so much to say
Watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been?
Not seeing that loving you
Was what I was trying to do

"Sorry do you mind?" She asked not wanting to be rude. Gil was one of the few lucky people she cared to show respect to.

"No go ahead. I need to check my email anyways." Gil said pulling out his own phone, trying to give her some form of privacy.

"Hey Jamie." Jade said, the smile on her face was clear in her voice.

Gil frowned, hoping Jade thought it was an email and not that he knew she was talking to her Ex. Gil only meant the man once and he did not like him. Jamie was around 44 and Jade was only 29. The age was the main problem Gil had with the man, that would make Gil a hypocrite. No it was Jamie himself. Jamie was a manchild, who may be devoted to Jade, but he was not right for her. Jamie was an undereducated truck driver who would only drag Jade down. Gil was sure Jamie had on more than one occasion pressured Jade to give up her dream because people like her did not get PhD's they did not go to graduate school.

"Yeah we are in Vegas now. Doc is taking me to a diner." Jade's smile faded.

Gil wish he could hear the other side of the conversation. He knew one reason Jamie was the ex- was because of Jade's devotion to her work, and he suspected her relationship with Gil was one that upset Jamie.

"Ok." Jade said trying to keep her anger at bay. "I'll call you when we get done eating. "

Gil continued to look through his emails, it was nothing but junk. Journal request he write a manuscript for their special issue, undergraduates who had questions about the exam, parents of the undergraduates wanting to know why little Johnny was failing the class.

"Anything good Doc?" Jade ask hanging up the phone without saying goodbye to Jamie,

"nope not really." Gil answer pocketing his phone a few seconds later. "Did you tell your mother about the trip?"

"Fuck no." Jade answered. "So what else are we doing while we are here?"

"We are having dinner and then going back to the hotel to get some rest."

"Come on Doc. You may have spent years here in Vegas, but this is my first time being sober enough to remember and I want to do something."

Gil looked at her, how could she still have so much energy. "Maybe we can do something later."

"Hey lets go get breakfast." Greg asked Nick bouncing around excited about something.

"Ok. If you calm down." Nick said laughing at his hyper friend. "How much coffee have you had."

"Not enough. Someone has been getting into my stash again."

Nick ignored the young CSI's statement. It was more likely Greg was drinking it and forgetting about how much coffee he actually consumed. Nick saw Sara walk in with one of the swing shift CSI's that was filling in, "Sara want to go grab some breakfast?"

Sara frowned, "Can't. I need to finish processing this evidence, and than I am going home to sleep."

"Rain check?" Greg asked he liked Sara, but he knew he never had a chance with her.

"Of course my dear." Sara said smiling.

"Dudes breakfast." Greg said walking towards the doors.

Nick followed behind, "I'm driving. You have had too much coffee my friend."

"Let's go onwards and forwards." Greg called back.

Sara laughed as she watched the two walk out of the lab. It was likely going to be a long morning. She still had evidence to catalogue and go through. There was a rush on everything because it was the second tourist this week to meet an untimely end. All signs indicated it was another robbery gone wrong, but something was a bit off. Sara had not yet figured out what made her think twice about what seemed the obvious answer. There was just something there.

The new DNA technician had the radio playing, it was that country song that played constantly. Sara rolled her eyes, she hated the song it reminded her of Grissom and today was not the day. She was dreading having to see him again. Maybe she could hide in the back. Maybe they would not invite her to have dinner with him or lunch or whatever. Maybe the god she didn't believe in would take pity on her this once.

It's still harder getting up
Getting dressed
Living with this regret
But I know if I could it over
I would change every way
all the words I say in my heart
That I have left unspoken

"How are you today Laura?" Sara asked trying to make small talk with the lab tech.

Laura looked up from her work, "You are bringing me more work?"

"Sorry." Sara said forcing a smile. "No rush. I am going to be here awhile anyways."

"Thanks Sara." Laura said truly appreciative.

"See you later." Sara said dropping the evidence and leaving to go finish her work so she could go home. She was bone tired.

Catharine stopped her in the hallway, "Hey Sara."

"Hey Catherine how is the case coming?"

"Good. Have you seen Nick and Greg?"

"They finished their case and went out to breakfast."

"Ok thanks." Catherine stopped remembering what the previous day had been, "You ok?"

'Yeah why?"

"Nothing. Just wondering" Catherine answered. "How is the case? We are getting some heat over these robberies gone wrong."

"Just passed the last of the DNA evidence off to Laura, and am going to give Hodges the trace evidence."

"You sure you do not want someone else to work the cases with you?"

"No I'm good. If another body drops than I might need someone." Sara said. She recently had taken to working by herself if given the choice, but she could not let her own need to seclude herself from others to effect the clearance of a case.

"You sound like you expect another body to drop?" Catherine said more as a question than a statement.

"I don't know something is just off about the case." Sara answered, she really had no idea why she felt that way.

"Finish passing off the evidence, than go home Sara you look exhausted." Catherine said feeling for the woman before her. She knew it had been a hard few years for Sara.

Before Catherine could walk away Sara asked, "Did you know Grissom is in town?" Sara asked searching the blondes eyes to see if she had any idea. He had to contact someone, he was not that big of jerk, Sara hoped. To just drop in and not say hello to any of his old friends or his ex-wife.

"No." Catherine said, "Did you two talk?" Catherine asked hopeful. She really had hoped Grissom and Sara would have worked out the problems with their marriage, but it did not happen, but a girl could hope right.

"No." Sara said hiding her emotions deep inside, "I was at the Uni picking up some work out of my mailbox and there was a flyer. He is giving a talk on campus."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

"What a jerk." Catherine said. "If I had his number I'd give him an ear full. What time is the talk?"

"I don't remember." Sara lied not wanting to tell Catherine she knew Catherine would go only to lecture Grissom about dropping out of contact with everyone.

"Find out and let me know."

"Will do." Sara said lying some more, "Well I got to go. I want to get out of here sometime today."

Catharine walked away feeling the anger build in her. Grissom was not that much of a jerk. She had not heard from the man she had considered one of her closest friends in years. She missed their talks. Shit she even missed doing all of his paperwork.

Nick and Greg arrived at the diner unscathed, despite Gregs driving. Nick enjoyed Greg's company the kid was a bag of hyper most of the time, but he at least did a good job and he cared about the work.

"Pancakes. I need pancakes." Greg said as he walked in. He stopped so suddenly Nick ran into the back of him.

"What the…" Nick said noticing what Greg was looking at.

"no Way, Is that…"

"Grissom." Nick said calling out to his old mentor.

Grissom turned around, his back to the door. He smiled at seeing his old team members, his eyes scanned for one in particular.

Jade just watched the seen wondering who the goofy guy in the front was and the handsome man behind him with the Texas accent. She guessed someone Grissom used to work with.

Nick and Greg walked up to the table, "Mind if we join you?"

Grissom looked at Jade. He did not want to make her feel uncomfortable with all of the strange people around.

"Fine with me." Jade said scooting over to let one of them into the booth next to her. Just her luck it was the goofy one.

"Jade this is Nick" Grissom said indicating the Texan, "And Greg" the goofy one.

"Guys this is Jade one of my graduate students." Gil introduced everyone.

"What are you doing in town?" Nick asked, wondering why Gil had not called anyone to let them know he was coming to town. No one had heard from the old supervisor in a long time. Not since the divorce. Did he think Sara got everyone in the divorce?

"We are each giving invited lectures at UNLV." Grissom answered.

"Really." Greg frowned, "Sara never mentioned it".

"How would Sara know?" Gil asked.

"She is teaching classes there now." Nick answered glaring at Greg for bringing up Sara.

Jade just sat back taking in everyone. She had no idea who Sara was, or who these people where. Being a intelligent person she inferred they were likely people from when Doc worked in Vegas.

Gil rubbed his neck, a nervous tick he picked up somewhere. "I did not know that." Grissom felt bad now, he had not known. If he had, he probably would have turned it down. He didn't want to make things harder on Sara or himself.

"So how have you been? Really. No phone calls nothing." Nick said saving everyone from the uncomfortable turn the conversation had taken.

"Good. I got a position at a decent university out East." Gil laughed, "I know who would have thought I would move out East."

"How is Gil as a professor?" Nick asked wanting to bring the weird girl into the conversation.

"His undergrads either love him or hate him." Jade asked joining the conversation.

"Do you study Forensics?" Greg asked looking at Jade. He could not help but notice how cute the girl before him. She had short brown hair that looked very much like she just crawled out of bed and called it a day. But she could pull it off. Here hazel eyes were piercing when she choose to look someone in the eye. It felt like she was looking through him into his soul. Yeah he knew he was getting weird here, he couldn't help it. Was she Sara's replacement? Gil said she was a student, but hadn't Sara also been one of Grissom's students.

She snickered, "Um hell no."

"What's wrong with forensics?" Nick asked wondering why Greg was looking and acting weirder than usual.

"Nothing if you like boring." Jade answered, "Sorry just not my cup of tea." Jade felt like she put her foot in her mouth, a place the appendage probably be charged rent for.

Gil stepped in to save her, "Jade is a sociologist she prefers the challenge of understanding society."

"Really." Greg said, "The soft sciences."

"It is only called a soft science by the weak minded because they are not up for the challenge." Jade replied, her answer a bit more cutting.

Greg thought for a second a mini Grissom responded, she had the same tone when she was annoyed by someone. "Really give me an example of something that will blow my weak mind?"

Gil smiled, he knew she could do it. "So how have you been Nick?"

"Good. The labs it seems is always busy these days." Nick answered ignoring the conversation happening across the table. "Grissom really no call?"

"Sorry I just did not want to rip open old wounds for anyone." Gil said feeling the coward. In his mind, the divorce meant Sara got Vegas. He did not want to hurt her anymore than he already had over the years. If he could avoid her and the people she worked with she would not have to deal with the pain of his leaving her, which he was sure she was over by now. If he was honest, he didn't want to deal with the pain it brought him. He loved Sara with his entire being, and he couldn't help but keep hurting her.

"Well you have been missed." Nick said with a soft smile, "You better call Catharine before you leave. She finds out you were here and did not even bother to call or visit, well I wouldn't want to be you."

Gil shivered a bit thinking about the high-pitched annoyed voice he would get as soon as Catharine tracked him down, and she would. By the sound across the table Jade had managed to impress Greg. He was asking her something about South American nations homicide rates. "I will make sure to do so. We just got into town today." Gil said, hoping Nick would interpret it he was not going to completely ignore his old friends, but that he just had arrived. He knew it was weak, but a guy can hope right.

"You should stop by the lab tonight." Nick paused wondering if he should add it would be safe Sara was off, but decided against it. He respected his former boss, and as part of that respect he would ignore the latent information he got from reading between the comments made by Gil.

"Actually, Jade wanted me to see if she could get a tour of the lab." Gil said continuing on to explain, "She is working on a research project for me exploring a BJS survey sent out to labs. She had some questions about it, and wanted to see how a lab worked so she could better understand the pitfalls in the survey."

"We could probably arrange that." Nick said, "Notice would have been nice."

"I kept forgetting to call." Grissom said, and it had been mostly the truth. He did forget to email someone to set up the tour. He would not have called because he did not want to end up seeing people he knew from those days. Not that he minded the dinner, he was avoiding her. He had hoped she would have moved on, like she had talked about, but he knew better.

"How about tonight?"

"Tonight what?" Greg asked.

"Jade here wanted a tour of lab."

"Oh. But I'm off. She would not get the chance to have my awesomeness to help her through the boring tour" Greg said smiling at Jade.

"We probably shouldn't tonight. We got our lectures tomorrow morning, and than lunch with the UNLV folks" Grissom said.

"Too bad Friday is when a lot of the weird stuff comes in" Nick said . "Saturday than."

"Works for me." Jade answered smiling. The weird guy next to her may not be that weird after all.

"Than it's settled. I'll set it up." Nick stated.

"And you will get the awesome tour of the lab from me." Greg said smiling. He would like to spend some more time with the girl. "What are you doing this afternoon?" Greg asked looking at Jade.

"Sitting at the hotel waiting for Doc to want to go do something." Jade frowned, remembering their conversation earlier.

"How about I give you the native Las Vegas tour? You should see more than just our fine crime lab while you are here." Greg offered, hoping Jade would take it.

"Don't you need sleep?"

"Nah I'll get sleep when I'm dead."

"Sure." Jade answered really wanting to go out and do something, and she was not tired yet.

Gil was awaken from his state of slumber by the noise coming through the walls. Music, of course, Jade must be back. What time was it? Reaching blindly for his cellphone in the dark, he clicked a button to light the display 3:13 am. Grabbing a pillow he put it over his head to block out the noise. He was exhausted, he passed on a sleeping pill so that he would not feel groggy in the morning.

His eyes shot open when he heard a familiar voice through the wall. No that was not happening tonight Gil thought getting up from bed. He found a pair of pants and pulled them on. Grabbing his room key he walked out going to the door next to his banging on it.

"oh shit." He hard from inside and a giggle that followed.

The door opened a few seconds later, Jade was leaning against the frame to stay standing, "What up Doc?"

"Greg time to go home." Gil said trying to hide the anger in his voice.

"No problem Grissom." Greg said not too far behind Jade. "Jade and I were just listening to some music." Greg said quickly after, he had not, they had not planned on doing anything.

"What?" Took Jade a second to catch up to Grissom's thought process, "Really Doc, really you thought. Oh God no." Jade said falling into a fit of laughter, yeah she was a bit wasted. "Sorry Greg, but no. never."

Grissom looked a bit embarrassed by his assumption. "Either way someone has to get up in a few hours and be able to present without looking like they are hangover. Since all I had was a beer tonight, I don't think I'll have that problem. I cannot say the same for someone else."

Jade looked a bit sheepish, she knew she should not have drank so much, but she had fun hanging out with Greg. They went to a club and she danced and drank with him, lost count of how much she drank. "I'll be fine I have the perfect hangover prevention plan."

"Really what is it?" Greg asked.

Grissom walked away than to tired to deal with this, and feeling like an old fool. First what gave him the right to stop them if they had been planning on having sex. It was not like he was dating Jade or she was his daughter. She was a grown woman, two consenting adults and all that good stuff. He sighed when he heard Greg say goodnight to Jade, and the hotel room door slam shut. Tonight was going to be a sleepless night now, Grissom knew he would be up most of the night cycling through his mind trying to understand why had he felt the need to stop them, and that was what kept Grissom up most of the rest of the night.