(Bella's POV)

I was pushing through the crowds. I was in a tunnel. Everything echoed. I was caged in. The bodies were too close, too warm. I had to get away from the hordes of people.

"Bella!"

Simmons caught up to me on the stairs. I gripped the railing for support.

"I don't understand," he murmured, trying not to make a scene. "Why did you let "C" leave so quickly? That meeting barely lasted five…."

His voice trailed off and I looked up to see a mixture of surprise and grave concern written on his face. I didn't understand, until I felt something on my cheek. I ran my fingers across it and realized I was crying.

"I've got to go," I whispered furiously.

He took me by the arm. "Bella, are you okay? Where are you going?"

I didn't answer. I pushed past the couple in front of me and stumbled my way into the lobby. I didn't stop until I was outside. I could smell a recent rain. I closed my eyes and let the cool, night breeze blow at the sticky perspiration on my face.

Cars were honking. People were rushing by. Everyone seemed to know exactly where they were going, but I was frozen. I didn't know where to go. I didn't know what to do.

I was lost.

After a few minutes of staring blankly into the distance, I realized I was cold. My coat…it was still inside the hotel. And there was no way, no way at all, I was going back in there. I wrapped my arms around my middle and in a numb stupor, wandered in the direction of my apartment. Numb. Numb was good. I'd been there many times. It was safe. It was a sheltered place.

I don't know how long it took me to get to my lobby. I don't know how long I drifted. I walked in and was greeted by bleary-eyed Oscar, the night doorman. At the sound of my name, someone jumped up from a nearby sofa.

"Bella!" Vaughn cried out. "I was so worried!"

He came towards me quickly.

"Are you alright? I couldn't call you. You didn't have your phone." He held up my purse and coat, then touched my cheek. "You're freezing." He wrapped my coat around my shoulders and shook his head. "Why were you wandering the streets of Manhattan after midnight without a coat?"

"Thank you," I whispered. I reached out for my purse and saw that I was still wearing the charm bracelet he'd given me.

"Bella, you're trembling." His voice was becoming increasingly concerned. "What happened while you were talking to that Cullen guy? Did he do something to you? Because if he did, I swear, I will…."

"No." My voice was smaller than I'd intended. "He didn't do anything."

The silence was deep between us for a time and then very cautiously he said, "I...I don't think this Edward Cullen is just a past acquaintance."

I closed my eyes. I hadn't heard that name anywhere but in my dreams for so long. To hear Vaughn say it now was far, far too much for me to handle.

"I need to go upstairs," I breathed.

I walked to the elevator and he followed me. After I pressed the button, he reached for my chin and gently turned my face to look at him. "Let me at least get you safely up to your apartment," he begged.

I flinched and he pulled his hand away.

"I'm going to call you next week, okay?" He reassured me. "It's such terrible timing, but I have to leave in the morning for the game in Tampa."

I nodded. He stood there silently, perhaps waiting for more.

He was disappointed.

The elevator door opened and I moved inside.

The last person got out on the 47th floor, and apparently, that was exactly how long I was able to hold it together. I slid down into a corner of the elevator and began to sob. I found my way to my door and tripped my way into my apartment. I cried, I screamed, I hit a wall and hurt my hand. I ended up in front of my large window, sitting on the floor, and staring out at the night.

I had sometimes fantasized how I would act if I ever saw him again. I had planned on being callous. I imagined that I would laugh and roll my eyes in a flippant manner as we talked about the good ol' days in Forks. I'd planned on giving him the impression that I'd barely even thought of him over the years. I had promised myself that he would never, ever know how much he hurt me.

I had failed miserably.

I'd been angry, defensive, and biting in my remarks. I winced at the dramatic comment I'd made before I stormed out of the parlor. He didn't care one bit about what kind of human I'd turned out to be. I wished I could take it all back. If only I'd had some advance warning. I would have been prepared. I would have been ready…..maybe.

As soon as I'd seen his face tonight, I'd realized why I had not been able to move on. His beauty was woven into every part of my life, from my dreams, to my drive to constantly work, and how I treated everyone around me. I thought I had committed every part of him to perfect memory. But I hadn't remembered exactly how impossibly long his eyelashes were, I had also forgotten precisely how the light played with his hair. My memory was nowhere near accurate on the angle of his chin, and the roundness of his lips, and how his shoulders, even in a tuxedo, looked so powerful and steady. And yet, somehow, even after all this time, his voice had remained the loudest and clearest sound in my head.

I was still desperately in love with him.

For the past seven years there had not been one time that I'd laid in bed at night and not thought of him. For the past seven years there had not been one time that I'd watched the sunset and felt twilight upon me that I didn't think of him. Every time it had rained I'd thought of him, every time I heard a love song playing in the elevator, every time I tripped, every time I saw a Volvo, every time I heard a piano, every time I saw a couple together, every time I felt my heart beating, every time I thought of wildflowers in a meadow….every time I cut myself…. every time I touched cold stone.

I couldn't believe that after all the times I would have given anything to see him again, that I had just left him there and walked away. Maybe, part of me wanted to be the one to walk away from him this time. He had seen me in my dress after all and had told me how beautiful I looked, and the way my heart fluttered at that thought, made me so angry that I started on another crying jag.

I was going to have to see him in two days. How would I do it? Not ever seeing him and knowing he didn't love me, was apparently just as hard as knowing I would see him and that he didn't love me. And I had no idea how many miles I was going to have to run to get my mind off of what was happening in Ireland.

I was officially giving up on C-CORP. I was sure that Carlisle and the whole Cullen family had put much care into building it. I could never take it away from them. I loved them too much.

Besides, if I went through with this, Edward would have to remain in town at least a month or two for meetings. I couldn't bear to see him all those times and then have him leave. I didn't have enough faith in myself and the person I could be around him. I had a reputation that I wanted left intact after this was all over.

I wanted him gone now. Yes, I wanted him gone now. Somehow, I needed to try and forget he was ever here and get back to business as usual.

I was on my knees with my forehead resting on the carpet, my arms pulled tightly around my middle. I thought that Valentino probably never intended for his dress to be treated this way. I didn't have the strength to get to my bed. All I could do was hold myself tight and attempt to keep myself together. I was afraid to go to sleep. I knew who would star in every dream.

So as the night crept on, I made a new plan. I would tell Mr. Hathaway that I was no longer going after C- CORP and that my designs had changed. I would find a bigger and more successful company to take down to appease him. I started to breathe easier when I knew there would be no Monday morning meeting with Edward and then realized I had no idea how to get a hold of him or any of this team. I guessed I would have to put Simmons on that.

You can do this, Bella, I told myself. You can do this. I hoped that if I repeated it enough, it would sink in. And as the sky lightened, I actually did feel better. I would never have to see Edward again. I would make sure of it.