You guys are much too kind! I think your reviews are getting better, if that's possible. You are disscussing things with me and critiquing the characters and laughing and crying with Bella. I am so sad this story is ending. I don't want to let you all go!
(Edward's POV)
I was pacing around the hotel room. Jasper had left hours earlier. He'd had enough of my torment. My mind kept switching back and forth between everything that had happened. My emotions flashed from fury, to disbelief, to sorrow, and then back to fury again. There was just too much to take in.
The words reverberated through me. "I set you free." Free. I would never be free of her. Long after this world stopped spinning I would be somewhere . . . existing . . . still tied to Bella.
Apparently I had completely misread everything. I was so sure after the night I'd stayed with her by the fireplace and listened to her call my name over and over that it was only a matter of time before we were reunited. To lay by her through the night was more than I ever thought I would have again. It was exhilarating, thrilling, and beautiful. It was my heaven. Being that close to Bella now that she was no longer a child sent such stronger feelings of passion coursing through me than I thought I was capable of.
And then there was our dance Friday night. I had wanted her in every imaginable way. She had wrapped her arms so tightly around my neck and her heart was absolutely flying. I was so sure that she was feeling the same intensity, the same yearning.
Instead she tricked me, stole my company from me, and told me to get lost.
Bella and werewolves.
No. It was absolutely inconceivable. I had left to keep Bella safe and she had become best friends with a pack of werewolves? No. No. NO. Dirty, unpredictable DOGS! My muscles seized every time I thought of it. I was grunting my disgust. And in that picture Bella had been holding Jacob's hand... I clenched my teeth in fury.
She and Jacob had spent every day together for a year and a half? That was longer than I'd had with her. Maybe she had pulled away from Thomas' kiss not because of me, but because of Jacob.
She never would have turned to Jacob if I hadn't . . . I never would have let her out of my sight if I had known. . .
I was a complete, absolute, unadulterated idiot.
And my hours of pacing had done nothing to alleviate my desperation.
There was something else about that picture of her and Jacob Black. In it, I once again saw the Bella I had known. The look in her eyes in that picture was a stark reminder of how much Bella had changed and I finally had to admit that this was all my fault. It was not her, but myself, I should be angry at. It was my choices that had set this all in motion.
Even though I was sure Alice had already told him, I had to make the call to Carlisle and inform him about what had transpired in the conference room. He was disheartened at the turn of events, but true to his nature, he ended up trying to make me feel better about everything. He said we could start over somehow and make the family even closer through our efforts. He was in Belgium and offered to come and take over, but I emphatically declined. I would see this through. None of this would be happening if it weren't for my stupidity.
In the middle of the night, after hours of pacing, I finally resolved to go see Bella. I didn't know if it was the right decision after all she'd said to me today, but it certainly couldn't get any worse. I took the stairs and easily got into her apartment.
She wasn't there.
I stared out her large window at the cityscape wondering where she could be in the middle of the night. Please don't be with Thomas or Jake, I begged. I felt so heavy. So alone.
As I sat there in the silence, I felt a new kind of fear. I had maybe two days left in the conference room before my authority as acting CEO was stripped from me. My days with Bella were numbered. I yearned to spend every moment I could with her so that I would have as many memories as possible after she sent me away. After all, these memories were going to have to last a long, long time.
I walked around Bella's apartment and could see that she had not brought one part of her past life with her. Everything in this place was new, modern and hard. She seemed to have thoroughly turned her back on her past life. She had tried to forget it all.
I sat down on her couch and looked out at the night. Everything about Bella seemed tenuous and uncertain, but there was one thing of which I was absolutely sure. Even after all she'd done, after all the manipulations and contemptible things she had subjected me to, I still loved her completely. I loved her fully and totally.
I waited for her all night. She never came home.
The next morning, Jasper and I sat in the conference room as I anxiously waited for Bella's grand entrance. No matter where she'd spent her night, I had to tell her how I felt. If I had to stand on the table and declare my feelings for her in front of everyone in this room, I would do it. She could do whatever she wanted to with that knowledge.
Exactly on time, Michael Simmons walked in to the conference room and announced that he was in charge of the meeting. Anxiety clouded my judgment, "Where is Ms. Swan?" I blurted out.
"She's involved in some pressing matters of business," he answered nonchalantly. "She sends her regrets, but I'm sure we'll have a productive meeting today regardless of Ms. Swan's absence."
My eyes narrowed suspiciously. Bella hadn't let herself be out of the loop on one minuscule detail, and all of the sudden she was going to miss a whole meeting? I wasn't buying it. Something was wrong. I pressed through his mind for more, but he had become very good these last weeks at keeping me out.
My lawyers, Harry especially, seemed quite relieved to have her gone. Jasper glanced at me with surprise. My mind went through possible reasons for her not attending. Perhaps she wasn't feeling well or there was an emergency of some kind. Perhaps Hathaway had demanded she be on another assignment. Perhaps she had gone somewhere with Thomas. Maybe she had gone to be with Jake. My insides tightened painfully at every possibility.
I forced myself to pay attention to the proceedings. Simmons proved to be a very astute and intelligent man. I could see why Bella had him lead her team. At the rate it was going, I would have one more day in the conference room.
It was about two o'clock in the afternoon and we were close to finishing. Harry was in the middle of a lengthy speech, when I suddenly heard my name.
Mr. Cullen, if you can hear me, touch the side of your face.
It was Simmons. I made no indication that I'd heard him. Was this another trick? I decided to play along for the moment. I was extremely uncomfortable with a human knowing I could read minds. I casually ran my fingers lightly over the side of my face.
Good, I don't have much time, and if Bella finds out about this, I'm worse than fired. I will be dead in a dumpster somewhere.
I grinned at his accurate interpretation of Bella's anger.
Look, this is none of my business, but could you please tell me if you have feelings for Bella? Just touch your face again if you do, and you want to continue this conversation.
I took a moment to ponder what my next move should be. This could very well be another trick, but then, there wasn't much more that I could lose at this point. Besides my family, Bella and C- CORP were all that mattered to me, and I had already lost those.
I looked straight at him so as to leave no doubt in his mind. I bore into him with my stare as I leaned forward in my chair and put my hand up to the side of my face. He took a deep breath and swallowed as if he was gaining courage. His next words threw me.
Mr. Cullen, Bella loves you.
My chest caved in with the shock.
She is in love with you and from what I can see she has been in love with you for the last seven years.
I was sitting up in my seat looking directly at him, not daring to believe what he was saying, but still urging him with my eyes to keep speaking.
You really hurt her. She is terrified of getting close to you. She's very certain that you don't love her and believes that when this is all over, you will leave, just like before.
My body was tingling. It felt almost as if something was coursing through my veins again. I wanted to break through the table, grab Simmons, and demand he tell me everything.
Where are you Bella? I wondered furiously. Getting to her was all I cared about.
"Bella will be attending a party this Sunday night and you now have an invitation, Simmons continued. You are being given this one opportunity to talk to her and work this out."
Could this really be true? I was having a hard time putting my thoughts together. I looked straight at him and nodded a faint yes. He nodded back and continued.
"I will have the invitation delivered, and Mr. Cullen, she went out with Thomas Vaughn because I tricked and coerced her. I thought it would help her, but nothing has. Before Thomas, the last guy she was with, well . . . was you."
Jasper leaned towards me, clearly alarmed at my change of mood. I was faintly aware that Harry had finished his elongated dissertation, but the meeting went on for another excruciating thirty minutes. I strained with the effort of perusing Simmons' mind, but he gave me nothing else. When he adjourned the meeting, I bolted up, straining to use human speed, and met him at his chair.
"Where is she? I quietly demanded. "I'm not waiting until Sunday."
He stuttered and stammered and I read perfectly where Bella was.
"She's in Forks?" I snarled.
Simmons eyes widened. "Look," he said. His eyes were darting around the room, wondering who would be the first to inform Bella that we were breaking the rules of no contact. "She needs some time alone," he whispered. "This has all taken quite a toll on her."
A brief image of her sitting under her desk crying came to me. I winced at the scene.
"I need to see her now," I insisted."
He put out a hand to calm me down. "I know Bella pretty well, or at least I thought I did until you came along," he muttered. "But she's pretty upset right now. So upset that she didn't care about missing this meeting today. That is definitely a first for her. If you follow her to Washington, she may just turn and run. Give her a few days to calm down. Trust me. She needs a break in the worst way." I started to protest, but he put his hand out to stop me again.
"She gets back Sunday afternoon. She will not miss this party."
The thought of her alone on that reservation with a pack of werewolves was eating away at my insides. But, what if I really did blow any chance of getting Bella back? Could I risk it? What if something happened to her? I laughed in scorn at myself. She had apparently done well enough keeping herself alive for seven years without my help. But the plane ride alone. . . with her luck, not even the black box would survive. It went against everything for me to leave her there. After this, I vowed, I would never let her get so far away from me again.
"Very well," I sighed. "I will be waiting for that invitation. Thank you."
He nodded his head. "You'll have it before the end of the day."
I walked into the hall to meet Jasper as a grin spread over my face.
Bella loved me. She loved me.
"What's going on?" Jasper muttered under his breath.
I slapped him on the back and said brightly, "It looks like I'm going to another party."
Jasper was looking at me quizzically as we walked towards the elevators when I suddenly heard another message in my head.
"Don't hurt her again. She'll never love anyone else."
I saw Simmons standing in the doorway to the conference room and I walked back and faced him, squaring my shoulders.
"I won't make the same mistake twice," I stated with conviction. "I love her more than anything. I always have." He nodded once, then walked past me and down the hallway.
Years ago, Bella had given me a gift.
When I became a vampire, I'd had no choice in the matter. I could have taken Carlisle's road, but I didn't. For 10 years I chose to be a monster. The images of what I did still haunt me. They always will. Even though I eventually found my way back to Carlisle and lived his life, I knew deep inside what I really was, the instincts I constantly fought against reminded me of that daily. But then one night in the tiny town of Forks, a beautiful, trusting, innocent girl called out my name in her sleep, and I was changed forever.
She saw something in me that I couldn't see. I was lost. And Bella found me.
When I said good-bye to Bella, she'd had no choice in the matter. It was all me, taking her destiny into my hands and changing it. Just like me, she had found a way to survive. To go on. I had killed and drank the blood of humans, all she had done was become a cut throat business woman. I saw who she really was. I knew what was inside her heart. I knew it's every beat and flutter. No one knew her heart better than I did.
So now, I would do all I could to save Bella, just as I was saved by her. I would tell Bella everything. I would leave absolutely no doubt in her mind how fiercely I loved and lived for her. And I would somehow convince her that I was not capable of ever leaving her again. I would then spend the rest of my days trying to make it up to her.
Bella and I for eternity. It was all I was fighting for now.
Oh Edward...I love you so much!
We are nearing the end...