(BELLA'S POV)

I was on my way to another party. It was at the home of Johnathan Chase. He was not only one of our firm's largest clients, but was one of my first clients. This was one party that I couldn't avoid. His estate in Hartford, Connecticut was large and grand, one of the most beautiful I'd ever seen. My driver headed silently away from the city lights. The snow was falling heavily and I could hear the slush under the tires. The drive that would normally be forty-five minutes would be pushed closer to an hour with the weather. Unfortunately, that meant I had more down time. There wasn't a lot of business I could accomplish using my phone on a Sunday night. I closed my eyes, lay my head against the car window and let my mind weave back through the holiday.

I had told Edward I was going to Forks, but the more I thought about it on the drive back to my apartment that night, the more I was convinced it was a bad idea. It was selfish of me, but after everything I'd been through with Edward the last two months, it seemed a little masochistic to spend a holiday in a place where I was surrounded with memories of him. The last thing I wanted was to keep my mask on around Jake and Charlie.

I wondered if, as a peace offering, I should ask Charlie about flying out to see me, but I wasn't sure that he and the big city would get along very well. And even though I missed Jake terribly, he came with his own set of problems. He was still the only member of the pack who hadn't imprinted on anyone and the air between us was always so heavy with what Jake wanted from me.

I wanted to get out of New York City like crazy, but once I ruled out Florida with Renee and Forks with Charlie, I had no idea where to go. Then it hit me. The firm had a cabin on a 50 acre estate in Montana. Mr. Hathaway had often suggested that I stay there for a weekend. I knew it was a long shot that it wasn't being used for Thanksgiving, but it was worth a try.

When I called Mr. Hathaway, he was pleased I wanted to use it. He had his secretary call me and amazingly enough, none of the associates were staying there. She was very efficient. I told her I wanted the next flight out, and she booked me on a plane that was leaving at 2:10 a.m. Then, she arranged for a car to pick me up in Great Falls and asked if I wanted staff there to prepare my meals and take care of my needs. I flinched and said no. I was perfectly capable of heating my own frozen pizza. I threw some things in a bag and rushed off to the airport.

The next afternoon, the car pulled up in front of the cabin. It was beautiful. And huge. I carried in my one bag and stood in awe at the massive great room. I didn't feel alone. There were dead animals mounted on every wall staring back at me.

The kitchen was fully stocked. I was told there would be a car, although I didn't foresee me having to leave this place for any reason. I went to the garage and when I saw it, I knew it was a vehicle that Simmons would appreciate. It was black and sleek and when I walked around to the back and saw the Jaguar emblem with an XJ next to it, I knew Simmons would be salivating.

I came back in and plopped down on one of the many couches. This was a good thing. It was a chance for me to just be Bella. I didn't have to worry about walls or fortresses. I didn't have to think about looming shareholder meetings, final drafts, or corporate budgets. And I didn't have to think about seeing a stunningly beautiful angel every time I turned around.

I checked my watch and saw that the meeting between Simmons and C-CORP would have been over at least an hour ago. I called Simmons and made him go over every last detail with me. I even grilled him on a few points, and he had all the right answers. From what I could surmise, the meeting had gone very well. So well, in fact, that Edward and Jasper probably wouldn't have to stay for the rest of the negotiations. After next week, everything else could be taken care of by Harry Banks and his legal team. My throat tightened. Just one more week in that conference room and then he would be gone.

I got off the phone and reminded myself that it was a good thing. I was the one that had made this happen. I had hastened the process to get him out of my life. I halfway wished I wasn't so good at my job.

There was one more call I had to make, and it would be highly unpleasant. I had to tell Jake I wouldn't be in Forks for Thanksgiving.

When I heard his voice again, I felt that painful tug at my heart. How easy would life be if I loved Jacob Black? This human thing would have been a breeze.

He took it about as well as I thought he would. He told me that Charlie would be really disappointed, but after a few of my feeble explanations, he admitted that he'd seen STAR Magazine. He was sure that I was spending the holiday weekend with Thomas Vaughn and accused me of being too chicken to tell him the truth.

It took a while for me to convince him that I wasn't marrying Vaughn, but just the fact that I was dating at all upset him. Apparently, he'd been taking comfort in my ability to reject any man that came within ten feet, but it wasn't until he suggested that he come for a visit that I started to get nervous. I couldn't imagine having Jake and Edward together in New York City at the same time. In desperation, I told him I would try to come home for Christmas.

The hope in his voice filled me with guilt. He tried to make me commit, but I danced around the issue and told him I would call again soon.

I could tell in his voice he didn't believe me.

I hung up, shaking my head at myself in disgust. If I lived to be ninety-two, I still wouldn't understand why I had the most foolish heart in the world.

The weekend was good and quiet. There was a vast library with a limited edition copy of Pride and Prejudice. I spent a lot of time in front of the massive fireplace reading. There was also a huge movie collection and I watched a few that I'd heard people in the office talking about over the years.

But mostly, I thought about Edward. Not in the helpless "how-am-I-going-to-get-through-this" kind of thinking that I'd been so good at over the last few months, but in a grown up common sense way of thinking. I decided I wanted Edward and I to have a nice good-bye. If he wasn't too angry with me, I thought it would be good for both us if we parted on friendly terms. The last memory of his leaving had haunted me for too long. I wanted this to be something I could look at years from now and remember fondly. I could fall apart later, when he wasn't around. Then, I would get back to business as usual.

As my plane lifted out of the Great Falls airport, my mind was much clearer about many things. I vowed I would stop being such a wuss and end things with Thomas immediately. I had to let him go find who he was really supposed to be with, because it certainly wasn't me.

I also decided I was ready for my future. When news of my promotion at Whitmore-Hathaway became public, I was going to be busier than I'd ever been. I would be traveling around the world and living a life most people could scarcely conceive. I would have all the money I would ever need, and then some. I would have the cars and the private jets. I would have the yachts and the parties. This was what many people dreamed of getting their whole lives.

But I never wanted it. I lay my head back on my seat in the plane, knowing that all the things that were being handed to me, I never cared about. If I just could have had my vampire and lived in a tiny house miles and miles from anywhere, I would have traded it all. In a heartbeat.

When I got in the taxi, I checked my messages. Vaughn had called. No time like the present to get this over with, I decided. I called him and flinched at how happy he sounded at my return. He met me at my building and gathered me up in a huge hug and put his face in my hair as he told me how much he had missed me. I really was a monster. A stupid, can't-seem-to-love-the-great-guys-who-want–you-and-won't-leave-you, kind of monster.

"How was Thanksgiving with your dad?" He asked.

Here it comes, I thought. "I didn't go to Forks," I admitted. "I ended going to the Firm's cabin in Montana."

He blinked at the surprise and then his face fell. "You'd rather go to a cabin alone instead of spending Thanksgiving with me?"

"I needed some time alone," I admitted. "I had a lot of thinking to do." I stared at him and tried one more time to fall in love with him. No such luck.

"Thinking." He swallowed hard. "That's usually a bad sign."

I sighed and looked into that kind, handsome face. "Vaughn, I don't need five dates to know how I feel."

He slowly closed his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

He put his hands gently on my shoulders. "Bella, is this because of that stupid article? Look, I know we haven't talked about children, but I don't expect you to leave your career and start having kids right away. Your career is one of the things I love about you." He was shaking his head now. "Don't throw this away, Bella. We're great together. I'm in love with you and if you need more time to be sure, then you've got it. I don't need a decision after five dates."

I placed my hand on his cheek. "You are far better than I deserve," I said softly. "But what you're looking for is someone who is capable of falling head over heels in love with you." I shook my head sadly. "That girl isn't me, Vaughn. It will never be me."

He gripped my hand on his cheek and his eyes became fierce. "This is about Edward Cullen, isn't it?" he said accusingly.

I stammered for a moment and he started in. "I was furious at the way he danced with you at the Governor's Ball, but I believed you when you said you were over him." He put his hands on each side of my face. "Are the two of you back together? Did he tell you he loves you and that he wants a future with you?"

"No," I gasped painfully.

"That's right. And he never will. If he cared about you, he would be here right now fighting for you just like I am. I'm offering you everything he won't give you, Bella. Please don't tell me it's over."

I gazed into those blue eyes one last time and took a step away from him. "It's over. Good-bye Thomas."

I turned and headed for the elevator. I hit the button and when I looked back, he was gone.

In one week, I had tricked Edward out of his company, backed out of Thanksgiving with Jake and Charlie, and dumped Thomas Vaughn, the Sexiest Bachelor Alive. The day was still young, I was sure there was a kid I could push off a bike, or puppies I could drown. There really had to be a special place for someone like me.

The car hit a pothole and slowed. It drew me out of my daze. I realized we were turning down the long drive to the Chase Estate. I checked my watch and realized we'd been driving for almost an hour. I'd been completely lost in my own world.

My driver dropped me off in the large circular driveway and I gave him instructions to return at 9:30 p.m. I took a breath before ringing the doorbell. I was back to reality.

This party was a very fancy affair. It was a birthday party for Johnathan Chase, being thrown by his wife. I was wearing a gown that was dark purple satin with a halter top, bare back, and tight at the waist. It glided down to the floor and shimmered as I walked. I wore my hair up and let a few curls fall down here and there.

I was greeted and sent into the living room where the drinks and hors d'oeuvres were being served. There was a band playing soft jazz and the lights were turned down low. I saw some business associates in the far corner and made my way there. Apparently, talk had reached their ears about the buy-out of C-CORP. They were intrigued at the money involved and I stayed tight-lipped about the details as I guided the topic in other directions. The first rule of business was never to talk about the deal until it was signed in blood. Besides, I just couldn't think about Edward at the moment.

The party moved into the dining room and to my disappointment, I was placed between two men that in the past, had been less than subtle about their intentions towards me. I cringed and sat down, trying to pay attention to the conversation going on across the table.

The guy on my left was a stockbroker and had proven to be as aggressive off the stock exchange floor as he was on it. Three times during dinner he put his hand on my thigh. After swatting him away for the third time, I wondered if it would make too much of a scene if I sank my fork into his arm.

The man on my right, was a lawyer for an investment client of mine. He was awkward in the way he flirted with me and it just made me uncomfortable. He asked me out every time he saw me, and I was running out of ways to turn him down without coming right out and saying that he disgusted me and I would rather pull my fingernails out one at a time than go on a date with him.

I spent the meal swatting away "The hand" on my left, and enduring goofy jokes on my right. I was beyond relieved when the dinner ended and the party was shifted to the inside pool area for presents, cake, and dancing.

The pool looked lovely. Floating candles covered the surface and multi-colored lights hung from the glass ceiling. I watched as the fluffy, light snowflakes fell onto the cold glass and clung there.

The band began to softly play and I shrank back against the wall. As lovely as it all was, I was not going to stay for the dancing portion of the evening. I checked the time. It was 9:00 and my driver would arrive at 9:30. I went looking for Johnathan Chase so that I could thank him for the lovely evening. I spotted him across the pool and as I made my way through the crowd, "The hand" stepped in front of me. His put his arm around my waist and without asking, started guiding me to the dance floor. I planted my feet and was about to tell him off when his fingers suddenly stopped digging into my ribs.

"I don't think she wants to dance with you." The velvet voice rang in my ears.

My eyes shot up, and there he was, looking more like a Greek God than anyone in a tuxedo had a right to. I glanced to his left and right and didn't see "The Hand" anywhere. I turned my head and looked harder. "The Hand" had simply disappeared.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I breathed back.

His eyes turned into liquid toffee and he seemed to take in all of me at once. Then touching my elbow gently, he gracefully backed onto the dance floor and pulled me to him.

I could feel the chill of his body through his tux and smell his scent swirling all around me as he breathed inches from my face. He took my right hand and held it in his own. He then placed his other hand on my bare back and I inhaled sharply at his ice-cold touch. He didn't remove his hand. He just let his fingers gradually lower to the small of my back where my dress kept me from feeling the direct chill, and pulled me tighter to him.

He slowly began swaying to the music. "Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?" he murmured.

I nodded my head.

I was using all my concentration to keep my weak knees under me. I was going crazy inside. Every sense was on alert. I was tingling. I felt electric.

I searched for a topic of conversation, anything to keep me from falling deeper. "I wasn't aware that you knew Johnathan Chase," I said.

"Who?" he asked.

"The host of the party," I replied breathlessly. "We're celebrating his birthday tonight."

"Oh sure," Edward said confidently, "Johnathan and I go way back."

My eyes narrowed skeptically. "I find that interesting."

"Why is that?" he asked innocently.

"Because Johnathan's company specializes in red and white blood cell exploration. He is the top blood researcher in the country."

Edward's eyes blazed with surprise and then he slayed me with his crooked grin. "Okay, you got me," he admitted. "I'm crashing this party with the sole intention of talking to you."

I found it impossible to breathe or swallow. I knew I couldn't do this again. I was painfully aware of my limitations. "Edward, we talked about this."

He took my hand and led me into a far corner of the dance floor. He opened the door to a small room used for pool supplies and I planted my feet. It was dark in there, and we would be all alone. I pulled harder, but he gently lifted me and set me down inside. There was just enough light from a vent above the door to see his face and I could see that his eyes were shining brilliantly. As the door clicked shut, I heard his voice. It was rougher than normal

"No, Bella. You said you set me free. But I never agreed to it, and I never will. You're going to listen to me for a change." His hands came softly on each side of my face.

"There are some things you need to know," He growled, moving closer to me. "You said I never looked for you, but I did come back. Three years after I left, I went back to Forks." His voice tightened. "Bella, I read the note you left for me."

My head was spinning. He came back? I would have been twenty-one and working like mad on my Masters.

"Charlie...he never told me . . ." My voice trailed off.

"After I read your note, I asked him not to tell you." He smirked in derision. "He was only too happy to comply."

I was in shock that he had actually come back on his own. I thought of all those nights I'd lied awake staring at my window hoping in vain that he would return.

Still, three years? Why had it taken three years? And why did he come back? Guilt again?

As if he could read my mind, he dropped one hand to my waist and pulled me against him, "I ended up in the slums of Brazil after I left you. At first, I tried to make it day to day, then hour to hour, then finally minute to minute without you."

His breathing was heavy by my ear and I felt myself grip tight to his arms. He missed me? He was trying to stay away? . . Then it hit me, and my heart sank as I remembered him saying I wasn't good for him. That's why he fought the urge and apparently won for three whole years. I hadn't been then, and certainly wasn't now, enough to keep him. Our spheres were still nowhere close to touching. He was with me tonight, but at some point in the future I would wake up alone. What would a seventeen year old exquisite piece of perfection want with a clumsy, twenty five year old human? I had to keep up my protection. I had to put up the wall to keep from dying inside.

I tried to pull away, but his iron grip held me fast. The tears were pooling in my eyes. His lips moved on my ear as he murmured, "Bella, I love you. I have always loved you."

He loved me? My fingers tightened on his arms as the words hung in the air. In the darkness, I watched his eyes gaze intently into mine. I shook my head in disbelief and felt the tears falling down my face. "You never could have left," I gasped accusingly, "If you loved me half as much as I loved you."

He looked directly into my eyes, and spoke slowly, "It was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I see that now. But, you were in constant danger from my existence. I had to put your needs before my own. I had to leave and give you the chance at a real life."

I was choking on my emotion. "I had a real life," I snarled. "With you."

His teeth were clenched with yearning to make me understand. "I didn't see it as a real life for you, Bella. All I saw was how selfish I was to keep you." He sighed and closed his eyes. "Alice tried to tell me, but I wouldn't listen. I was so haunted by Jasper's party...I couldn't see anything else. I just wanted you to have the life you would have had if you'd never met me."

I was stunned with this confession, but I fought back, not yet daring to hope this was all true. I shook my head furiously. "How dare you make that decision on your own! And how dare you leave me thinking that for the last seven years you didn't love me!"

I tried again to pull away. He moved his hands back up to my face and his eyes softened.

"Bella," he whispered gently. "If you want to leave after I'm finished explaining myself, then I will let you go, but not until I am done."

His thumbs moved back and forth on my face as he purred, "Bella, I have loved you every moment of everyday. I have been in Ireland trying to figure out how to be part of my family again. Ever since I left you it has been very difficult for me to be around them, to have any sort of purpose or direction."

He gripped me almost desperately. "I had made peace with myself that you were happy and living life as you would have before I met you. I imagined you happy and that you had forgotten all about me." He grit his teeth and growled. "Then when I saw you at the top of those stairs with that Thomas character. . ."

His fingers twitched and tightened reflexively on my face. "I knew I wanted you to only be with me. To belong to me, and no one else. This time without you has been unbearable, desolate even. I need you and the light you bring into my life."

His nose brushed mine and his lips were so close." Edward, I can't….." I whispered harshly. "You say you left to protect me, but what has changed?" I swallowed hard. "At some point you'll leave again."

He growled slightly and his forehead rested on mine. "Bella, I will never leave you again. I give you my solemn vow. I can't bear to be away from you." He laughed darkly. "I follow you every morning on your run and I've followed you on every painful date you've had with Thomas. I watch your light go out at night and I sit and stare at your window." He exhaled sharply. "I even flew to Forks for Thanksgiving."

I was grasping so tightly to him. Could these things he was saying actually be true? Could he really feel this way? If he really loved me all this time, hope was going to start to creep back into my heart. And more than anything, I was afraid of feeling hope again.

"You went to Forks?" I whispered.

"You weren't there," he admitted painfully. "I had no idea where you were. I went to the airport and waited all day until I saw that you'd made it back safely."

His hand went into my hair. "Bella, I can't survive unless I'm close to you. I need you beside me. I want you more than I'll ever want anything." His hands were back on my face again. "I love you, Bella. I never stopped. I never will."

His thumb wiped under my eye. "You are accomplished, and intelligent, and have far outgrown me in every way. I can't imagine what you would possibly see in me now. I'm not worthy of any of the heartache and sacrifice it would take to be with me, but it's too much for me to have you go the rest of your life believing I don't love you, that I didn't love you then. You will always be the most important part of my life."

There was silence. I stood motionless. It was as if when he spoke, he had been describing how I felt about him. My heart was screaming. To my heart, the last seven years didn't matter. All I wanted was to hold on to him and never let him go.

Edward loved me, and I was found.

I felt his cold hand travel to my chin and he pulled my face up to his. "Bella," he whispered hoarsely. "Is there any chance that you could still care for me, that you could love me?"

So many words were fighting to make their way out. My arms didn't stop until they were encased around his neck. My hands went into his hair and I pulled myself up to him and brought my lips so close to his that I could already taste him on my tongue. My heart was screaming the answer. Somehow I found the voice to whisper, "Yes. Yes, Edward, I love you. I'll never stop loving you."

All the air went out of him as his lips pushed hard against mine. His hands tightened on my face as he whispered my name and kissed me harder. My heart exploded. I was completely overtaken by desire and longing for the love of my life. My fingers wound tight in his hair as our lips moved hard against each other, pushing and holding as we struggled to get as close to each other as possible. There were no rules. No matter what I did, he never stopped me. He had never kissed me this way. Over and over, his lips pushed hard against mine, and I had to pull away, gasping for air, before I could start kissing him again.

"I'll never let you go," he growled. His voice was ferocious and strong. He kissed with so much intensity that it was as if we were one. He then held my head steady as his lips parted for a moment and his scent was so potent, so intoxicating. I was heady and dazed for an indescribable moment when he sighed and backed me up against the wall.

I never thought I would feel this. I'd been prepared to spend my whole life looking back on what it felt like to be in his arms, and yet, here I was. It was every dream, every hope, every silent wish. I couldn't get close enough to him. I couldn't express how much I lived for him. I ached for every second he would give me. I couldn't be parted from him now. I would never be able to let him go.

He paused and then kissed my bare shoulder. "Please," he whispered breathlessly, "Let's leave this party. Let's go somewhere we can be alone.

"My place," I managed.

"Perfect." His inhumanly delicious breath enveloped me.

My arms were still in a vice grip around his neck and he grasped onto the back of my dress.

"Now," he snarled.

His lips were still brushing over mine as I whispered, "I need to tell Johnathan good-bye."

He kissed me in a way that should be illegal, and then his eyes, wild and black, found mine. "I'll wait for you by the side entrance," he said roughly. "I brought my own car."

Somehow, I tore myself away from him. He opened the door for me and I again heard the music and the loud conversations. I'd been in such a trance that only Edward had existed for me. My legs were trembling as I hurriedly made my way through the crowd, looking for Johnathan.

I found him near the bar and thanked him for the gracious invitation to his lovely party and as quickly as I could without seeming obvious, I grabbed my coat and purse and made my way to the side entrance.

The crowds were thick and many stopped to make conversation with me. I smiled and kept walking, apologizing for having to leave. I passed the dance floor and continued weaving through the tight swarm of people, moving ever closer to the paradise of that side entrance.

I was twenty feet from the door when Steven Maxwell, the head lawyer for the company I'd acquired back in September, approached me. There was a strong smell of liquor on his breath.

"Well, hello there, Ms. Swan," he sneered, full of contempt.

I was impatient. I just wanted to get to Edward. I was trying to push past him as I said flatly, "Get lost Steven."

After I'd beaten him in the conference room, he had called me and asked me out. My refusal at his advances seemed to make him angrier than taking his client's company.

He raised the corner of his mouth maliciously. "That was a tactic I'd never thought of myself, but I must admit, that given the chance I would gladly give it a try".

I turned back. "What are you talking about?"

"There's a rumor spreading through this party that the guy you were hot and heavy with in the shadows over there was the CEO of C-CORP," he slurred. "Word on the street was that they were planning to invoke one last ditch strategy to stop the sale and from what I just witnessed, that strategy appeared to be working." He leaned in conspiratorially and I cringed away from his breath. "Can't really ruin a guy's life if you're involved with him now, can you? He plays as dirty as you do, Isabella."

My eyes widened with shock. It couldn't be . . . but it had to be.

Of course….My middle was on fire.

And I was an utter fool.

It was just like any other time Edward had used his "gifts" to lure in the prey. And I deserved it. After all the things I had put him through, he'd finally found the ultimate trick to play on me. How could I be so stupid? I felt my life slipping though my fingers.

I stumbled away from the side entrance. My jaw was clenched painfully and I could feel the panic, horror, and embarrassment rising and incapacitating me. I looked at my watch and had to blink furiously to see that it was 9:40. My driver would be waiting for me at the front entrance. I pushed through the people and ran towards the dining room. If Edward heard that conversation, he would be right behind me.

Once I hit the carpet, my heel caught in the heavy loops and I fell. I was back in the forest again. Stumbling. The only world I ever wanted was again taken from me as the hole grew and spread, much larger than it had ever been before. I picked myself up and stumbled towards the front door. The snow was swirling around me as I reached the entrance, but my coat hung limply at my side. The car pulled up the circular drive and as my driver came around to open my door, I stumbled in and fell limp on the seat.

The tears threatened. I angrily wiped at them. The last time he left me I was a scared little girl.

But not anymore.

I, Bella Swan was taking complete control now. In less than 24 hours this would all be over, and Edward Cullen would never have a say on what happened in my life ever again.

I squared my shoulders and growled at the driver to get out of this place.

I had a job to do.

I had never lost, and I was not about to start now.

Bella, wait! NO! You are such a fool! Tomorrow is the last chapter guys! I appreciate you hanging in there. It all comes together tomorrow, JUST WAIT! Love you all . .