Lisa
We fall asleep, and when I wake up, Jennie is on her side, hugging my chest. I normally don't cuddle with a girl after sex. It's not that I'm against the idea. It's just that the girls I've been with in the past usually assume I don't want that so they get up and leave. And I don't like them enough to ask them to stay.
I pop my head up to check the clock by my bed. It's only three. Jennie doesn't have to leave for work until five. I have two more hours with her. Maybe we could do it again. Sex with her was freaking awesome and not just because it's been forever but because Jennie knows what the hell's she's doing.
The sheet's pulled back, leaving me a view of her naked body. Over the years I've seen a lot of naked girls, but Jennie's body is better than any of them. It's perfect. My eyes wander over the curve of her hip down to her round little ass. I run my hand lightly over her shoulder, feeling her soft skin.
My touch wakes her and she stretches her arm out. "What time is it?"
"Just after three."
She rolls onto her back. "I should start cleaning."
"You don't need to clean. The place looks fine."
"I'm sure not all of it does. And your mom paid for the service. I have to at least clean for an hour."
"My mom has no idea if the place is clean. She's in L.A. and she never comes here."
"Never?" Jennie flips onto her side, facing me. "Your parents don't come to visit?"
"They come once or twice a year, always during football season. Other than that, no. They were here a couple weeks ago but left after a day. They work a lot. It's hard for them to get away."
That's not the real reason but it sounds better than the truth, which is that they don't give a shit about me.
"That's not an excuse. You're their daughter. They should come see you more often."
Reaching around her waist, I pull her closer. "Let's not talk about them." I kiss her. "And forget about cleaning. I want you right here. In my arms. In my bed."
"About that." She places her hand on my chest, holding me back. "We probably shouldn't do that again."
"Why not? I mean, you liked it, right?" I've never asked a girl that. I always just assumed she did. But with Jennie, I want to make sure. I want to please her. Make her happy.
"I definitely liked it, but we're just friends and I don't really do the friends with benefits thing."
"We're more than friends." I slip some loose strands of her hair behind her ear.
"Not really. We just met."
"But we've spent a lot of time together. I've told you things I haven't told anyone else. And you went to the doctor with me, which I haven't let anyone else do. So to me, we're more than friends."
"Then what exactly are we?"
"We're dating."
"We've never even gone on a date."
"That doesn't mean we're not dating. And technically, hanging out here could be considered a date."
"Could we go out now that you're using the crutches?"
My gaze drops down to her arm, my hand running up and down it. "Not yet. I'm not ready to."
"Lisa, you have to get out of this house. And for more than just doctor's appointments."
I let go of her and stare up at the ceiling. "Just let it go, okay? I'm not getting into this. I told you I'll go out when I'm ready, and I'm not fucking ready."
She scoots away from me and covers herself with the sheet.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"I don't like it when you get this way."
"What way?"
"When your mood changes like that. One minute you're fine and then suddenly you get really angry."
"It's because of my leg, not you."
"I still don't like it. It makes me uncomfortable."
I sigh. "Jennie, I'm sorry. I'll try not to do it anymore. And if I do, you can call me on it like you did just now." I reach for her. "Now will you come back over here?"
"I need to do some cleaning."
"Nobody's going to know if you cleaned or not, except for me, and I'm the one telling you not to. Now get over here."
She lies beside me, her warm body pressing against mine.
"God, you feel good," I say, wrapping my arms around her. "Can you just stay here every night? Maybe I'd finally get some sleep." I chuckle but it's not funny. I haven't slept a full night since before the crash.
"You don't sleep?" she asks.
"Not more than a few hours."
"Because of the accident?" she asks softly.
How did she know that? How did she know it still haunts me? I try to hide that shit. Act like everything's fine. Like I'm over it.
"Maybe you should talk to someone. Like a counselor."
"I don't need a fucking counselor," I say, my jaw tightening.
"You're doing it again." She looks up at me. "You're getting angry."
"Sorry. I just don't like counselors. I don't like talking to people about it."
"What about me? Could you talk to me about it?"
"There's really nothing to say. It happened and I can't go back and change it. I just have to live with it."
She sits up, resting on her forearm. "Lisa, there's nothing you could've done. It wasn't your fault. It was an accident. That guy had too much to drink."
"Which is why I should've stopped him. Jimin was one of my best friends." I stare up at the ceiling. "And I let him drive. I knew he'd been drinking and I let him drive."
"You couldn't stop him. He was already behind the wheel and you were in the back seat."
How does she know all that? She must've read the papers. They went into detail about the accident, including how Somi was impaled by a tree branch. They didn't mention how she saved my life, probably because they couldn't prove it. But I was there, and I know for a fact Somi saved me that night. Her body protected me. And yet I don't feel lucky. I feel sick, knowing she died because of me. Because she was on my lap instead safely belted in her seat.
"I don't want to talk about it," I say.
Jennie lies back down. "If you ever do, I'm always here. Sometimes just saying stuff out loud can make you feel better."
But I'd rather keep it inside where it belongs. It's my own hell to deal with, not anyone else's.
"So..." I kiss her. "What should we do now?"
"I don't know." She smiles. "We're in a bed. There's only so many things you can do in a bed and we've done them both."
"Doesn't mean we can't do them again." I reach over and pull her on top of me.
She glances back at the TV I have hanging on the wall. "Or we could watch TV."
"Is that really what you want to do?" I ask as I kiss her.
She doesn't answer, her hips circling over me, making it clear what she wants. I want to flip her over and thrust inside her but my damn leg won't let me, so I let her take the lead again. It's not that I'm complaining. Like I said, she knows what she's doing, and this way I get to admire that beautiful body of hers.
Afterward, we lie there quietly, not feeling the need to speak or do anything more than just be next to each other. It's nice. Peaceful. I feel calm. Relaxed. I feel that way a lot when I'm around her. Like I can be me and not the Lisa everyone else expects me to be. The star athlete who always has to be on. Always pretending that football is all that I am, when in reality I'm more than that, at least I think I am. Truthfully, I don't know who I am without football, which is depressing. And stressful. And yet when Jennie's around, that stress seems to go away.
I smooth her hair as she lies on my chest. "Stay with me tonight."
"I have to work late."
"Just come here after work."
"I can't. If I did, Mino would be all over my case about it. I told him we're just friends."
"So tell him we're more than that. You're an adult. You don't have to report to your brother."
"It's not that simple. He's very protective and he...well, he doesn't trust you."
"He doesn't even know me."
"No, but he knows who you are and he knows your reputation."
"Which is what?"
"That you sleep around."
"I don't sleep around. Just because I haven't had a lot of long term relationships doesn't mean I have one-night stands every weekend."
"But you've had them before."
"Well, yeah, but that's true for every guy on the team. You drink too much and you end up going home with someone. That's not what this is, Jennie. I'm not using you for sex. I like you. A lot."
"And I like you, but Lisa, we both know this isn't going to last."
"Why wouldn't it?"
"Because you're graduating next year. And after that you'll be a professional athlete, traveling all the time. And I'll still be here, or maybe I'll be back in school. The point is, we're heading in different directions. And I'm okay with that. I never planned for this to continue beyond the summer."
"I don't want to limit it like that." I run my hand under her chin, my thumb skimming over her mouth. "I really like you, Jennie. You aren't like other girls. I feel like I can be myself around you."
"We still have different goals. We're still heading in different directions."
"That doesn't mean this can't go beyond the summer. I want to keep seeing you. Getting to know you."
She's quiet, her head lowering back on my chest.
I smooth her hair. "Let's just try this. Without worrying about what comes next. Will you do that?"
She looks up at me. "Okay, but if we're dating, we should go out, even if it's just to get something to eat. We can't spend all our time in this house."
I sigh and rub my hand over my face. "I'm not ready."
"Everyone knows you hurt your leg. I don't see what the big deal is."
"People are watching me. Wondering how fast I'm healing. When I'll be able to play again. It's too much pressure. It's just easier to stay here."
"You can't hide in here forever. You'll be back in school in August."
"Classes don't start till September. By then I'll be off the crutches."
"But don't you have to go to football practice in a few weeks? Even if you can't play, don't you still have to be there?"
"I don't know."
Actually, I do know. She's right. I'm supposed to be there, but I don't want to be. I don't want to sit on the sidelines watching my team practice without me.
"Are you hungry?" I ask, changing the subject. "We could go find something to eat. My girlfriend stocked the fridge." I smile at her, loving the sound of calling her my girlfriend.
She smiles back. "So now I'm your girlfriend?"
"Yeah, so tell your brother. Then maybe he won't make such a big deal about you staying over."
"I didn't agree to stay over."
"Then I'll have to keep working on that." I kiss her. "So what do you think? Are you hungry?"
"I could use a snack. And then I really should clean something. I feel guilty for not doing anything." She turns and gets out of bed.
"You work too hard."
She just laughs, but it's true. She works harder than anyone I know and she doesn't complain about it. It's admirable, and another reason I like her.
We find some leftover pizza in the fridge and each have a slice. As she's rinsing off the plates in the sink, I come up behind her and kiss the side of her neck. "Spend the weekend with me."
She shakes her head, smiling. "I can't. I have stuff to do."
"Like what?"
"Laundry. Get groceries. Clean the apartment."
"Those things don't take long. Come on. Stay with me, at least for a day. And maybe Friday night?"
She spins around. "I could probably make Friday night work. And I'll spend Saturday with you. But Sunday I have to go home and do stuff."
If that's all she'll give me, I'll take it. I just want to spend time with her. I'm finally feeling like I have some life in me again instead of dragging through the day. And it's all because of Jennie.
Friday night, I wait for Jennie to get off work. It's almost midnight, which is usually when she leaves. I wish I could drive. I'd go pick her up. I feel like she's not safe walking to her car this late at night. She said the singing cook guy walks her out, but if I'm remembering him correctly, he's so out of shape most anyone could take him down.
My phone rings. It's DK, one of the guys on the team.
"DK, what's up?" I answer. "How's your summer?"
"Freaking awesome. Spent last week in Miami. It was hotter than hell but I drank and got laid so all in all it was a good trip." He laughs. "How about you? Been doing anything?"
"Not really."
"Coach been by?" he asks in a tone that implies he already knows the answer and is testing me to see if I'll lie.
"Yeah, he's been by. I just haven't been in the mood to talk to him."
Coach shows up here at least once a week but I never answer the door. I don't want to deal with him.
"He's just trying to help, Lis."
"By pressuring me?" I huff. "Real fuckin' helpful."
"He's not pressuring you. He just wants to see how you're doing. You know he cares about his team."
"I'm not on his team. Not anymore."
"You're still part of the team. You can still throw the ball."
"Lot a good that does me. I can't run. Can't even walk."
"How soon before you're off the crutches?"
"I don't know yet. I just started using them last week." I hate talking about this so I change the subject. "So what else is new?"
"Not much. I'm having a party when I get back into town. Did Jackson tell you?"
"Yeah, he mentioned it."
"The whole team's invited. You better show up. And bring your new girlfriend."
"Jackson told you about Jennie?"
"Yeah." He chuckles. "He said you were in love. I told him he's fuckin' nuts."
"He's just being an idiot. I'm not in love. I've only known her a week." And yet I already feel closer to her than I've ever felt to anyone else.
"He said she's your maid."
"She's just doing that until she goes back to school."
As I say it, someone knocks on the door. Jennie must've got off a few minutes early.
"DK, I gotta go. Jennie's here."
"Late night booty call?" He laughs. "Leave it to Lisa Manoban to get laid even with a broken leg."
It's not worth telling him that's not what this is. He wouldn't understand. To him, dating is about sex and nothing else.
"I'll talk to you later," I say as I open the door for Jennie.
"Yeah, bye. And hey, don't forget my party. You've gotta at least show up for an hour or two."
I end the call and smile at Jennie, trying not to laugh at her red and white plaid uniform. It looks like she's wearing a tablecloth. And yet she still looks hot, her hair in a ponytail, the dress showing off her legs.
"Hey." I give her a kiss.
She pushes me away. "Don't get too close. I smell like chicken."
"I told you, I love fried chicken." I kiss her again.
"Good, because I brought you some leftovers." She holds up a paper sack. "Fried chicken, biscuits, and potato salad."
"You didn't have to do that."
She shrugs. "You kept saying how much you like their food and you never go there so I thought I'd bring you some."
"Thanks."
She takes it to the kitchen and puts it in the fridge. "So who were you talking to?" She turns to me. "Sorry. I shouldn't ask. It's none of my business."
"It's fine. It was DK. He's a friend of mine. He's on the team with me."
"Is he in town?"
"No, but he'll be back in a few weeks."
"Is that when they start practice?"
"Yeah. It's coming up fast. Seems like school just ended and now it's time for practice again." Not wanting my mind to go back to football, I pull her toward me and give her a kiss. "Long night?" I ask because she looks tired.
"Yeah. It was really busy." She pushes on my chest. "You gotta let me go. I stink. I need to take a shower and change clothes. Oh, my bag. I forgot it. It's in the van."
"I'll get it. Just need your keys."
She hands them to me. "It's in the back seat."
"Does your brother know you're staying here tonight?"
"No. I told him I'm staying with my friend, Jisoo She works nights with me at The Chicken Shack. She's a hairdresser during the day. She's a single mom and has the cutest little girl. I told Mino that Jisoo had an early morning hair appointment and needed a babysitter so I offered to stay overnight. I've done it before so he didn't question it."
"Why didn't you just tell him the truth?"
"I will eventually. I just wasn't in the mood for a lecture. Anyway, I gotta go shower."
"Go ahead. There's towels in the cabinet."
She smiles. "I know. I do your laundry, remember?"
"That's right. You probably know where things are more than I do. I'll go get your stuff."
I'd like to shower with her but it wouldn't work with the cast. I need this damn thing off, and soon.
When she's done, I'm waiting for her in bed under the sheets. She's only wearing a towel as she slinks over to me, a sexy smile on her face. When she reaches me, I kiss her as I undo her towel, letting it drop to the floor.
"You weren't supposed to do that," she whispers over my lips.
"I'm pretty sure I was." I toss the sheet back and pull her over me and kiss her again.
"You're not wearing anything," she says, her body pressing against mine.
"I sleep naked."
"Always? Or just because I'm here?"
"Always. I like the feel of the sheets against my skin." I run my lips down her neck. "But I like the feel of you even better."
Before I even have a chance to warm her up, she takes hold of me and rolls the condom on and guides me inside her. She must've worked herself up in the shower because she's slick. Warm. Perfect. I grab her ass and she leans forward, her chest hovering over my face. I sit up enough to reach her breast, my tongue flicking her nipple.
Her eyes are closed but I see her smile, so I do it again, then take her nipple in my mouth.
"Lisa," she breathes, her head tipping back. Soft moans follow.
I love the sounds she makes. Other girls yell and scream, which I guess isn't bad, but I get more turned on with the sounds Jennie makes. Or maybe it's just her that turns me on.
A few minutes later, I'm making my own sounds. Cursing and groaning, digging my hands in her ass as I come. She's right there with me, and as she comes down from it, she falls forward on my chest, breathing heavy.
"You tired?" I ask, kissing her head.
"Yeah. Long day. But that was a good way to end it."
I gently roll her off me, but keep her in my arms as she falls asleep.
Then I drift off myself, and sleep soundly for the first time since the accident. I don't wake up until seven, which is the latest I've slept in months. Even before the accident, I'd wake up at six and go to the gym to work out.
"Is it time to get up?" Jennie asks, her voice groggy like she's half asleep.
"No. It's early. Go back to sleep."
She turns on her side, her back to me. I wrap my arm around her, holding her warm body against mine.
I like this. Too much. Like Jennie said, this was only supposed to be temporary. A cure for our loneliness. Meeting each other's needs. But it's turning into more than that. More than I think either one of us is ready for.