New day, new chapter.
As always, thanks for the favs and reviews. Special thanks to Harbinger of Chaos for offering tips on how to put links on here. I'm gonna try them today, and I'm probably just going to try and stick a link on my profile and make that work. archiveofourown (_dot_) org /users/Sulla_of_Rome
Author's Note:
Before we get to the story today, I do want to address a few things. Grimm2967 complained about 'racism' and accused me of being a racist in a review. Normally I would like to leave these things by the wayside, but in the charged climate these days and the fact I would hate to get my story taken down, I am going to address some of this. This is, of course, not to mention the very real danger that these days the accusation of "racist" can get you hunted down, you and your family left jobless, homeless, or as was the case of a Jessica Doty-Whitaker, literally being hunted down and murdered (her crime was simply saying 'all lives matter').
One of the greatest problems I see in fiction these days is that everyone assumes the author of a story believes everything their characters say (and do). Because Luke Blackwolf says or believes "racist" things, therefore I, the author, must be a racist. I would like to point out that Ron Stoppable is a feminist. Does this also make me a feminist? Heather is an anti-feminist. Does this make me an anti-feminist? Astrid is a raging drunk. Does this make me a drunkard (I don't even drink). Luke Blackwolf slaughters hundreds of law enforcement agents in the course of this story...have I now slaughtered people?
Characters can be separate from the author who writes them. Good characters, have good and bad attributes, can believe things that are true or false, act on that information, and live their lives accordingly. One of the big complaints I have, and have seen others have over the years, is that all too often these days "the characters are the author, what they say is the author's beliefs, and thus the author must be held accountable to these things." And that has led to situations like we have across the industry, where all the characters think the same thing, believe the same thing, act the same way, and...they all turn into the same person, just wearing a different costume. Or, if there is some diversity in characters, those who "think the wrong things" are automatically the bad guys, with no redeeming qualities, and can just be tossed aside as meaningless chaff.
One of the best comic book stories out there is Watchmen. One of the things that makes it such a good story is that each of the characters has a different perspective, a different point of view, a different morality, and all of those things influence the story. Rorschach arguably had some pretty offensive views, even for back in the day...he's also regarded as one of the most moral and heroic characters in that story. And he wouldn't be who he is/was without those 'offensive' views.
As to "slandering a religion is racism" I'm not entirely sure how to address that without being a pedantic asshole, but here goes. If "slandering a religion is racist" then every atheist out there who has ever said a single bad thing about Christianity is a racist. I can imagine the fury that statement is going to evoke in people. Islam says that all Pagans must be put to death for a number of slanderous reasons (including the belief that Pagans aren't even human, but the spawn of pigs and dogs, the most unclean of all animals), so by that logic, Islam is racist. Given that the "negative" things said about Islam (among others) are based on Luke's interpretations of his Religion, I could say that Grimm is being a racist for slandering said religion, but I won't. I could also point out that Islam, as a religion, isn't tied to race seeing as it has faithful of all races, just like Christianity does, but again, I'm trying not to be pedantic here.
Grimm also said he was offended by me comparing Muslims to Nazis (involving the Jew example?) and that he'd never heard of anything in Islam that approved of rape and torture. My guess is he hasn't read up on Islam that much, but I will give him that he is technically correct in that Islam doesn't say "you can rape non-muslim women." And I say technically, because they don't call rape. But it is allowed, under "Malak-ul-Yameen" or 'right-hand-possessions'. Basically, Slaves. You can't rape your slave, because it is your possession and you may do with it as you please. When you combine this with the theological belief that Allah has given the entire world over to the Muslims to rule...well, you do the math. It's not rape, because consent never mattered. Horrifying and alien as that thought is to us Westerners. As to the torture, well...just do any degree of digging into the criminal justice or war practices of any practicing Muslim nation on the planet.
As for comparing Muslims and Nazis, well, Nazis killed 6 million people in the holocaust. Muslims enslaved over twice as many people from Africa as the Europeans did, and where Europeans used everyone for manual labor and nominally allowed them to have families and children (depending on location and master), the Muslims near universally castrated the men and used the women as sex slaves. In addition to that, Muslims enslaved large numbers of Europeans on top of that, a massive portion of which was sexual slavery. Slavery, as a practice, carried on in the Muslim world until the 1960s, and rumors are carries on privately to this day. Slavery is generally considered one of the most inhumane, barbaric, and immoral practices on the planet. I will leave it to you readers to make moral judgements about which of these things is the more horrible, large scale murder, or massive scale enslavement, mutilation, rape, and death, sometimes at the owners hands. And that's not even counting the millions they put to the sword.
To quote Geralt of Rivia: Evil is evil. Lesser, greater, middling. It's all the same. I'm not judging you. I haven't only ever done good in my life. But if I have to choose between one evil and another, I'd rather not choose at all.
Virtually every thing I have mentioned in this story is factual, even if they are horrific or offensive, and yes, I have at least one character who is "racist" because of how his personal morality views these facts, how he deals with them, and how that affects him as a person. Good or bad, right or wrong, sane or insane, characters at the end of the day are people, and this whole world is filled with all kinds of people and all kinds of stories. The best stories, to me, are the ones that show us not just ourselves, but the people around us. Those we can identify, and those we cannot, so that we might learn to be more than just ourselves. Sometimes, that does involve people and things that we would rather not see, would rather pretend does not exist, because they challenge our views. Challenge us, because to acknowledge them and acknowledge our reactions to them, forces us to reconsider both our world view, and ourselves. This can be uncomfortable, very uncomfortable, because often enough if we are true to ourselves, when confronted with such things, we can sometimes find ourselves at odds with family, friends, society, the morality we were raised with, and so forth. The Grooming Gangs I've mentioned before in the story are an interesting example, because I have seen it go both ways as people try to deal with it. Some become "racists." Some in their efforts to avoid the great evil of being racist...have actually rationalized the rapes as okay.
Sometimes we come out unchanged from that challenge. Sometimes we do change. Years ago, I read a story here called "Never Cut Twice," which was about Naruto leaving his village and working with Itachi and Kisame of the Akastuki. It changed my entire world view, not because the characters were like me, but because they were different, and saw things differently than I did. And I learned from them. One of the things I learned was that often enough, the very things that make our enemy "the bad guy" are the very same things that make us the "good guys." Americans liked to believe we were the heroes because we'd come swooping in out of the sky, killing dictators and liberating peoples while only killing a few civilians...but that the terrorists we fought were evil because they came swooping in out of the sky, killing soldiers and civilians to liberate their people from our oppression. It was the very first step on the road to the morality Luke presents: An action is an action, it can be good or ill, but it must be good or ill for all equally. And in learning that lesson, I managed to escape some very bad things that were happening to me, emotional and psychological abuses from those I loved and trusted. But that could never have happened if I didn't go to a place that was different, alien, and showed me some pretty awful and world shattering things that showed me how innocent and ignorant I had been. In a way, this story is my attempt to carry on that work, and that legacy. To tell a good story that doesn't shy away from the bad things in the world, or the fact that good people can do bad things, bad people can do good things, and at the end of the day...everyone has a story, even if you don't like what that story shows you. Even if, to quote a classic movie, "the problems of three people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world."
Grimm wanted me to "cut out the racism," but the truth is what he considers "racism" is merely factual things that happen, and some people's very real reaction to those things. Returning to the Grooming Gangs in England I mentioned. A very common response to people mentioning that happening is to call those who talk about it negatively "racist." Okay, maybe those who are against it are racists. Maybe they're not. I'm not really in a position to say one way or the other, but what I can say is this. Silencing it, "cutting out the racism," doesn't make the problem go away. It doesn't stop the abuse, or the rape, or the pain. All it does, all "cutting out the racism" does...is to hide it so you don't have to face the reality of what is happening, even if that reality is happening in a fictional story. Unfortunately, that is exactly what happens a lot in the real world. I've seen the phrase thrown around "Silence means consent." Ignoring the obvious Bill Cosby jokes that could be made, while I'm not sure I 100% agree with that statement, there has been a lot of "silence" and "consent" to many of the things Luke and the Jarls have mentioned. I do not give my consent to these practices, not if it means being silent. If that makes me, personally, the author, a racist, well...who is the better person to be? A racist who speaks against evil, who advocates for the innocent, who, in some small measure, tries to help people that are ignored? Or the non-racist or anti-racist who sits back and consents to allowing rape, murder, theft, abuse, torture, and other violent things to happen to people simply because calling it out would be "racist"? I leave it for you to decide.
Anyways, I'm sorry for waxing on and dragging all this stuff out when everyone just wants to read a story about a girl, her owner, and the people they meet along the way. I...wanted to say it though. So if you've read it, even if you don't agree with it, I would be grateful if you considered my words with an open mind.
Fair warning, this chapter isn't exactly a happy one, but ironically enough this chapter and the next kinda relate to this authors note, even though I wrote them months ago.
Chapter 25
The trip took eighteen days. Shego hadn't realized that ships traveled so slowly, but the average speed was about 13 knots. It gave them time to get to know their escort, which consisted of four ninjas, Tanaka,the team leader an older man with twinkling eyes. Sasaki, the young man who had collected them from the van. Inoue, a young woman with hair died honey brown and big innocent eyes. Lastly there was Matsumoto, a cocky young man who wielded an extra long katana called a nodachi.
The six of them spent many hours training in the ships hold, and Shego found herself in turns fascinated and frustrated by everyone's ability to instantly appear and disappear while fighting. She also found out that Ron was something of a legend among the younger ninjas and the two young men were eager to test themselves against him repeatedly.
Nights were spent in their cabin, making love as quietly as they could, though that never stopped knowing looks and hidden smiles in the morning. The crew largely ignored them, though when a storm hit the boat about halfway through the trip, they were grateful when their little group stepped in and helped battle the way through the storm. The cargo was kept safe, and no one was injured thanks to Ron tackling one of the crewmen out of the way of a swinging pulley. Shego watched with joy as Ron was hailed as a hero and plied with drinks by the grateful crew.
Finally they arrived in Japan, bidding farewell to the hardened crew of sailors, and their ninja escorts smuggled them to Yamanuchi.
When they reached the top of the long, winding mountain path, they were greeted by a very old man with long white hair and beard, and a lovely slim young woman at his side.
"Stoppable-san" the old man said with a shallow bow, "We are glad you have made it safely too us."
Ron returned the bow, though his was a bit deeper. "Master Sensei, thank you for your hospitality in our time of need," the blonde man said respectfully.
"It is our honor to aid the Monkey Master," Sensei sad, giving Ron a kindly smile, he turned to Shego. "And you must be Shego-san, Stoppable-san's peto."
She bowed to him, going lower than her Master had. "I am grateful for your aid to my Master," she said softly. "And for your kindness in sheltering us."
Sensei practically beamed at her. "I had heard from your reputation that you were a very harsh woman. I am happy to see that Stoppable-san has been able to soften your life and bring you peace. It is a rare talent he possesses." The old man said happily. "Come, there is fresh tea and refreshments for you, and your rooms have been prepared."
They fell into step behind the old man, the young woman moving to walk on Ron's other side. "Hey Yori!" Ron said happily, "How have you been?"
"I have been well, Stoppable-san, though deeply worried about you." The young woman said, and Shego instantly could tell the girl had feelings for her Master. "When word reached us of Global Justice's plan to arrest you, we sent ninjas to your aid, but they arrived hours too late. When we learned of the massacre we feared the worst, especially since you were not in their custody."
"Yeah, we had some...help," Ron said, nervously.
"So we learned." Yori looked deeply troubled. "We were deeply troubled to find whose company you were in, and feared the worst. Especially as the months dragged by with no word from you."
They were lead to a small building off to the side and slightly behind some of the main buildings, and were informed that due to Ron's status, they were being given the small house. It was honestly about half the size of the trailer, but they were grateful for the honor it represented, and the privacy it would no doubt provide. It was simple, with a porch, living area, kitchen, and bath. Ron quietly explained that the living area also served as the bedroom. There was a tray with tea sitting on a low table in the middle of the room. Sensei made an offering gesture with his hand. "This shall be your home while you are here. Please, feel free to refresh yourselves after your journey, and we shall talk more over dinner."
The couple gratefully accepted, and after Sensei and Yori had departed, Ron showed her how to set up the futons. They unpacked, changed, and used a water basin to freshen up. Shego lay down on the futon to relax before dinner, giving Ron a loving smile, and fell asleep.
Dinner was a simple affair, as the ninja's did not believe in extravagance. Rice, fish, a few traditional Japanese vegetables. It was light, but filling and Shego found the change refreshing. They dined with Sensei in his private chambers, joined by Yori who did the serving.
"You have been touched by a great darkness, Stoppable-san" Sensei said as dinner wound down. "It has caused you much harm."
"Yeah," Ron said, picking at his rice, "It's been pretty rough, dealing with it." He turned a loving gaze on Shego. "I don't think I could have made it without her love and support."
"One of our rescuers is bonded with something mystical they said," Shego blushed as she continued, "He and Ron got into an argument and Ron mentioned his fallen lover. Supposedly the emotional trauma caused the bonded creature to attack Ron."
"I see," Sensei said, sounding troubled. "And do you know the nature of this creature?"
"No," Shego said, "the only one who may fully know is Blackwolf, the man bonded with it, but he hasn't even told his companions if he does."
Yori's troubled expression only deepened. "It is terrible luck that you came into contact with such a man," she said softly. "We know of him and his creature. You are very lucky to be alive, Stoppable-san. He is a man who brings only death and suffering."
"All things have their place in this world Yori," Sensei gently chided, "And had it not been for the help of Blackwolf, Shego and Ron would be in a far worse situation. The damage can be healed."
"I'm glad to hear it," Shego said, feeling relieved. She'd noticed a crazed, fearfulness flicking at her Master since the hardware store, and she'd woken up in the night to hear him repeating that chant again and again.
Yori didn't look pleased, but she did relent. "Stoppable-san, what have you been doing during your time in hiding?" She asked.
Ron and Shego blushed. "Oh, you know, nothing," Ron said nervously, "They set us up in this little trailer in the middle of the woods. No tv, no internet. We mostly just trained and read and you know...stuff..."
Shego thought she detected a well hidden, but knowing look in sensei's eyes. "Stuff, Stoppable-san?" He asked enigmatically.
"Yeah," Ron said, blushing harder, "You know, stuff."
"Hmmm," Sensei said speculatively. Yori looked back and forth between the two men. Then she blushed. It made her look rather pretty, Shego thought.
"I look forwards to seeing the results of your training, Stoppable-san," Yori said.
"It would be my honor to show you," Ron said happily, his good mood returning. "Tomorrow morning?"
"It would be my honor," Yori said, giving him a shy smile.
Normally, Shego might have worried about the other girl trying to put the moves on her Master, but after all the months of being his pet, she knew he would have no eyes for anyone but her. She leaned against him and nuzzled, watching the other girl. Yori blushed, and looked both slightly jealous, and slightly sad, though she hid it well.
The conversation drifted from there. Ron was curious as to what had been happening at the school. Yori asked about Ron's life before they went on the run. Shego wanted to know if the ninjas knew who was behind everything.
She was disappointed in the answer. Despite their best efforts to dig there were no true leads. While the people who sponsored the law were known, it had become clear that they were doing it on behalf of some third party, yet every attempt to find them resulted only in dead bodies, mysteriously wiped records, or deadly traps. It cost something to say it, but the old man admitted that the Blackwolf's method of 'kill everyone, the guilty party is probably somewhere in the pile' was probably going to have more success than them at their current rate.
It wasn't all bad news though. In preparation for trouble he deemed inevitable, Sensei had actually begun to set up legal protections for her shortly after they discovered Ron had taken her in as his pet. She and Ron thanked him deeply for that. Sensei merely replied that it was his honor.
Eventually they parted and returned to their home. Both of them longed for each other, but even as their petting became heavier and heavier, they fell asleep in each others arms. The fact that for the first time in months they were completely and utterly safe, or at least felt that way, was too much to overcome, and the stress and wariness they'd lived with for months faded away, leaving them deeply, soul crushingly exhausted.
"Stoppable-san, do you wish to be healed of your injuries?" Master-Sensei asked several days later. He watched Ron calmly, his bushy brows hiding his eyes almost as well as his long beard hid his mouth.
"Of course, Sensei!" Ron asked. There was a tightness to his eyes, his jaw. They'd spent the morning training with Yori. It had been an exercise in reminding Shego why she'd basically put a stop to their training. Her master had alternated between freezing up, and reacting with vicious instinct. Yori hadn't been injured, thankfully, but that was due more to the woman's superior experience than it had been any mercy or weakness on Ron's part.
"Are you sure, Stoppable-san?" Sensei asked placidly, "You say you do, but your actions say otherwise."
"What, you mean at practice this morning?" Ron said, flushing, and looking more upset. "I'm sorry, okay." He crossed his arms and huffed out a breath. Shego started edging towards him, but Sensei made a small gesture and she froze where she, beside the tea serving set that was between the two men.
"It is not your sorrow I want," Sensei said. He moved slowly, deliberately, as he made the tea. "And I was not speaking of what happened during your training with Yori-san."
"What then?" Ron asked, voice tight. Shego could see his love and respect for the old man warring with the feelings of fear and rage that had driven her into being his animalistic pet rather than his loving girlfriend. His every instinct was screaming that Sensei was a threat, just like she had been outside of being a helpless pet.
"I am speaking of your anger," Sensei said gently, still working on the tea. Japanese tea was really complicated, Shego was finding out. "You say you desire to heal, but you refuse to release your anger and the fear that causes it."
Ron clenched his jaw and said nothing. Shego wanted nothing more than to go to her Master. She could calm him, take away the pain, if only briefly.
"When you were attacked," Sensei asked gently, "You were angry with Luke Blackwolf, were you not?"
"Yes," Ron said, his voice little more than a hiss.
"He had done something to offend you. Had he insulted you?" Sensei asked calmly.
"He's a fucking anti-Semite!" Ron snarled. Shego twitched. "He'd spent the entire weekend talking shit about my people!"
"And you found a way to hurt him," Sensei said softly, "And you wanted to hurt him."
Ron glared at Shego. She wilted. Sensei had pulled her off to the side the other night and asked her about what had happened. She knew Ron respected the man, and the Master Ninja was offering to heal her love. She'd told him everything he'd asked, and then some.
"Why do you glare at your peto, Stoppable-san?" Sensei asked gently, placing a cup of tea in front of her master. "Has she hurt you? Has she betrayed you in some way?"
Ron's jaw clenched hard and he tore his gaze away from her. She crumpled. Maybe she had done the wrong thing.
"Do you wish to hurt her, Stoppable-san?" Sensei asked gently. "Do you wish to punish her for speaking out of turn against her Master?" Ron didn't say anything, just reached for his tea with a shaky hand. Sensei gently held his hand out to the side, pointing at a wall. A rack rested there, with everything from thin bamboo rods to sticks to staves. "If your peto has offended you, then please, take up one of those instruments and punish her as you please."
Ron froze. So did Shego. She looked at the implements. Ron had never beaten her. No one had, not like that. Would he want to? Would she accept it if he did? She loved him more than life itself, but...to allow him to abuse her like that. It wasn't like when he spanked her as punishment. That was loving correction. This...this would be the opposite.
It would be what Kim would have done to her. The kind of thing that would leave her a broken, abused animal that cowered before its owner. She would give anything to help Ron get better, but...that... It made her think of an old song, 'I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.'
"Sensei," Ron growled, "You can't be serious."
"Of course I am, Stoppable-san," Sensei said gently. "It is tradition for those in charge to chastise those under them who fail or betray them. From our largest corporations to our crime bosses. Our samurai would even demand the life of those who failed or betrayed them, to regain their honor." His hand shifted, indicating a rack with different swords. "We ninja are believers in tradition. If you deem it necessary, you could demand the life of your peto in exchange for her actions that have angered you, and no one here would think less of you or consider the action wrong. She is legally an animal, no one outside of here would think it wrong if you put your pet down."
Shego was frozen, terrified. Maybe coming here was a bad idea. She looked to her master, and felt her fear grow at the look on his face. It was furious, hurt, and betrayed. His eyes cut to her and she whimpered like the dog she was. She lowered herself so her breasts were crushed against her thighs, her hands pawed up, whimpering as she looked up at her Master. Master loved her, master pet her, made love to her, wanted to marry her, right? He didn't want to beat and kill her, right?
Ron's hand clenched into a fist and he slammed it repeatedly into the tatami mats they were sitting on. He kept pounding and pounding, crushing the material as a cry of rage and pain tore out of his throat. Sensei calmly sipped his tea.
After a bit, Ron was kneeling there, panting. His knuckles were busted and bleeding, the mat was seriously damaged, his tea was spilled. Tears were falling from his eyes, and even with his face half hidden she could see the anger, the pain, the guilt, that scarred his features.
"I...don't...want that..." He said, brokenly. "I...couldn't live with myself if...I hurt her."
"Yet you hurt her everyday," Sensei said calmly. "You hurt her with your pain, your anger, and your fear. You hurt her with your refusal to heal."
"But...I'm not refusing!" Ron yelled, looking up at the old man. "I'm not! I accepted all of Heather's healing, I'm here to accept your healing!"
"Stoppable-san." Sensei said calmly. "If you are cut, and someone stitches up the wound, it will heal. But if after it has been sewn shut, you take a blade and cut open the stitches and the wound again, will it heal?"
"No, Sensei," Ron said, confusion adding itself to the emotions warring on his face. "It would remain open, maybe even become worse."
"Indeed, Stoppable-san, you are very wise," Sensei said, sipping calmly. "So why then, do you insist on slicing open your wound?"
"I...don't understand, Sensei," Ron said softly.
"Your hatred of Blackwolf," Sensei said, setting his cup down. "You hated him because he spoke of his dislike for your people. You sought to hurt him because of this. When that proved ineffective, you sought to challenge his beliefs. When that failed, through his certainty in himself, or because you chose to fight over things which you knew little beyond you believed them right, you tried again and again." Sensei folded his hands in his sleeves. "And when that failed, you brooded in your anger towards the man."
Ron said nothing, but Shego knew from her Master's expression that Sensei had hit the mark. She'd thought their debates had merely been Ron being bored and wanting to find something to call Blackwolf on. But Luke's arguments made sense to Luke, and had clearly been examined to the point he was satisfied with them, even if no one else was. He also never took them personally, and if Ron failed with what facts he knew and went for emotional arguments, Blackwolf had been absolutely unmoved by them, assuming he didn't counter them. Hell, the most average man in the world not only hadn't been bothered by her sarcasm, he'd occasionally bantered back and forth with his own sarcastic remarks. Her Master had always walked away frustrated, but she hadn't realized he'd actually been fighting with Luke.
Fighting, and losing, as far as he was concerned. And it had weighed on him. A lot. Maybe she should have stopped it.
"Your resentment for him is a knife that opens your wounds again and again, Stoppable-san." Sensei said gently. "Every moment you hate him, every moment you spend brooding over what he is and what he did and how powerless against it you were, is a blade that carves into you."
Ron snorted out a breath. "So what?" He asked, "I'm just to forgive and forget? To get over it? To ignore his hate? The very hate that put my people into camps and murdered them?"
Sensei gave a very long, very tired sigh. Shego stayed curled up where she was. She was starting to see what Sensei had meant about Ron not wanting to heal.
This was going to take a while.
Ron had spent the week after that session alternating between loving her and being pissed off with her because of everything she'd told Sensei. Her Master and the old man had sessions every day, but she'd gone to him terribly scared and upset because Ron wasn't getting better and she missed her loving Master. Not to mention she was worried that the hardware store had reinfected her Master. Sensei assured her that hadn't happened.
Still, she sneaked up to the room where Ron and Sensei were talking to listen in. It had been requested she not come to sessions for a while after that day, and she was willing to respect that. Still, even dogs got curious.
"Stoppable-san," Sensei said gently, "Tell me about the hardware store."
"What's there to tell?" Ron said sourly. "Blackwolf shows up, drags us out of the trailer, tells me his plan is to save Shego for himself, maybe he'll save me! Then he drags us into this hardware store, tells us to go secure the back. We manage that, and then Shego leads me up into the ceiling and...everything goes dark."
Her Master paused and she heard them messing with the tea set. Silence dragged on for what felt like forever. She curled up on her side and tried not to whimper.
"Then it was just darkness, maws, fangs, and terror," Ron half whispered harshly. "I could hear screams. And the Voice. It was the most evil thing I'd ever heard in all my life."
Shego reflected. She'd heard...Blackwolf talking, and sure it had been sadistically playful, unlike the man, but she wouldn't have called it evil. Then again, she'd been hanging out with villains and criminals for years, so maybe her perspective was different. She'd seen evil. Blackwolf certainly could be a monster, but he wasn't evil.
"And how did that make you feel?" Sensei asked. "To be saved by something evil."
"Sick," Ron said raggedly. "Horrible. Sure, Global Justice has been hunting us for months, and yes they helped declare Shego an animal...but they're...they're..."
"You still believe they are good?" Sensei asked gently. "And feel you have aligned yourself with evil against good?"
"Yes," Ron said brokenly.
Shego quailed. Ron really felt that way? GJ considered her an animal. They wanted her dead. They'd spent the last several months trying to butcher her and imprison the love of her life. And Master still...considered them the good guys? He considered the people who had saved them to be evil? Sure, she wasn't entirely sure how she felt about Blackwolf, but he had saved them, he was strong and committed, he had been his best to be polite to her and indulge her master, and she could admire that. She had grown to consider Astrid and Heather actual friends. If they were evil to him...did he consider her evil as well? Sure, he'd said she wasn't a bad person...but that had been back when they were still in his world, when she was legally his pet. That had been months ago.
Fear gnawed at her belly, and tears pricked her eyes. Suddenly she understood why Sensei had asked her not to come. Ron wouldn't say these things in front of her...and hearing him say them only hurt her. She shouldn't have come here.
She tore out of there, no longer caring for stealth. Savagely, she wiped at her eyes as she charged out of the building. Yori gave a startled yelp as she ran past.
A couple hours later Ron found her, curled up and hiding in rocky cave above the school. She'd stopped crying a while back, but she couldn't bear to go back down to the school. To the Master who thought she was evil.
"Shego?" Ron asked softly.
"Go away!" she growled, curling up tighter, her back to him. He walked softly over to her, his hand gently coming to rest on her shoulder.
"I SAID GO AWAY STOPPABLE!" she snarled, twisting around to glare at him.
"Sheila..." Ron said softly, looking hurt.
"Don't you 'Sheila' me!" She snarled, twisting around to be on her knees in front of him. "We wouldn't want you to associate with evil, now would we?" She jabbed her finger savagely into his chest. "After all, that's what I am, right? Global Justice are the good guys, and they want me dead! The only reason they'd want that is if I was a bad person, if I was evil!" Another savage stab. "Maybe you should just wash your hands of me, be clean, turn good. I'm sure you could get that Yori girl to warm your bed. Hell, maybe she can be your pet instead!"
She started working on her collar, trying to unbuckle it. He didn't want her. He wanted to be one of the 'good guys' and that meant not having evil people around him. So be it.
His hands gripped hers, stopping her from getting it unbuckled. She thrashed and snarled in his grip. "Get the fuck off me, Stoppable!" she snarled.
"No!" Ron growled, tears in his eyes. He bore her down to the ground. "I promised to spend my life with you and I'm not breaking that promise or throwing you away." His hands were iron bands on her, his weight pinning her.
"Fuck you!" Shego snarled. "I heard you talking to Sensei! How much you hate being associated with evil! Well I'm fucking evil according to you, Stoppable!"
"N-no you're not!" Ron said, struggling to keep hold of her as she thrashed about. "You're not evil Shego!"
"No?" She snarled, snapping at his throat with her teeth. "Why not? I've killed people. I've stolen a fuck ton of shit. I've tried to take over the world." He dodged, pulling back to look at her. "Name me one thing that Blackwolf, or Astrid, or Heather, have done that I haven't done! So if they are evil, then I am fucking evil too, Stoppable!"
"No..that's...you're not a..." Ron stammered. His eyes shifted and he refused to look at her.
"Not a what, Stoppable?" Shego snarled. "Go ahead, say it. Say some sort of justification that lets you insist I'm not just like the people who put their lives on the line to save us!"
"You're not a racist!" Ron yelled, slamming her against the ground.
"Oh? Is that it?" Shego growled. "So someone can go around, beat people up, steal their shit, kill them, turn them into animals to be slaughtered, hunt them down, try and rape them, and they're the good guys. But someone can go around, fighting rapists, murderers, traffickers, slavers, but because they're a 'racist' that makes them evil?" She twisted and then Ron was on his back and she was looming over him. "Well then I guess I am pretty damn fucking evil, because not only have I beaten people up, stolen their shit, killed some, but I can be pretty fucking racist myself, Stoppable!"
Ron quailed under her. "W-what?" he asked softly, fear in his voice.
"You fucking heard me!" Shego snarled, getting into his face. "I told you, back when I worked for Draken, I met a lot of people. Dispossessed, who'd lost everything and turned to crime and villainy to support themselves. Rhodesians and South Africans and even a couple Nazis." She forced him to look at her. "Do you know what the blacks down there do to Whites? Slaughter and rape them. Boil children alive, cut their faces open, rape them in front of their parents. Put them in tires filled with gasoline and light it on fire."
"I've worked with Palestinians too," She said, her voice vicious and cutting. "Do you know how your beloved Israelis fight them? They shoot to cripple, Stoppable. Not to kill, not to drive them back. They shoot below the waist to paralyze, cripple, and maim, and then they turn around to the world and say 'look how good we are, we only killed a few people!' as if they didn't just ruin the lives of hundreds or thousands. Men. Women. Children. Doesn't matter."
"You remember Astrid and Luke talking about England?" She leaned in close, refusing to let him look away from her furious gaze. "About all those Muslims kidnapping, torturing, and raping those underage girls? I knew about it. Everyone in the Villain community does. And you want the truth? I fucking cheered when I found out that Blackwolf went in there and made at least a few of them pay for what they fucking did to those innocent children!"
"So if you can hear about those things," She snarled in his face, "If you can look on the pain, the suffering, the brutality, and you don't hate those that do it, but instead you would rather hate those who do hate it simply because they hate the people who do it then you are not worthy of being my Master! Because I refuse to be the loyal dog of to a Master who thinks I'm evil and who thinks the people who want me dead are good."
He let go of her hands, laying there limply and broken. She blinked, fighting back tears. Her hands came up and pulled off her collar, throwing it on his chest. Then she stood up and walked away, trying not to let him see how utterly broken she was.
She spent the next few days crashing with Yori. Admittedly, she hadn't given the young woman a choice, and it was incredibly rude of her. Yet, as much as she was angry and hurt at Ron...she still loved him. Wanted him to come back to her, offer her the collar and their future back. And she didn't want him seeking comfort in the young ninja's arms.
Sure, it probably wasn't nice to cock block him, but well she was evil.
Yori put up with it. In fact, after Shego had broken down crying over the whole affair the young ninja had been remarkably sympathetic and hadn't gone off to claim the now available young man.
"I'm sorry I forced myself on your generosity," Shego said softly one afternoon. The two of them were alone in the baths. Yori was washing her back for her, which was odd. She still hadn't gotten used to Japanese bathing.
"It is understandable, Shego-san," Yori said, "Though I must say I am not as amused by your American style cock-blocking, as you put it." Shego twisted around and saw the young ninja giving her an impish smile.
Shego sighed and sagged. "I suppose it is rather unfair of me, isn't it?" she said softly. Small, strong hands worked her back, reminding her of baths Master would give her. It made her heart ache. She'd been hot tempered. Maybe she should apologize.
But apologizing would be admitting she was wrong, and she didn't feel wrong. Hasty, yes, but wrong? If that was how Ron really viewed things then it would forever be a wedge between them. A wedge that would slowly but certainly drive them to hate each other.
"Stoppable-san loves you very much," Yori said, "It has hurt him very deeply to fight with you and lose you, Shego-san."
"I know," Shego said softly. "It hurts not to be with him. But...but if he thinks I'm evil then it would just tear us apart someday..."
"Stoppable-san is young, and innocent," Yori said, "innocent people often have simple views of things." The young ninja sighed. "And while it has been tempting to go and comfort him, to take the chance to have him myself, I know from what you've said, that eventually I would find myself in either the same place you are now, or spending my life lying to him."
Shego turned around, surprised. "What do you mean?" She asked softly.
Yori gave her a small, sad smile. "I am a ninja," she said softly. "We are assassins and spies. We steal and kill, much like you did Shego-san. If a mission required it, I would even have to use my body to seduce my target. You did it for a price, I would do it for a price and for my nation. Do you think Stoppable-san, with his American-style views on love would be happy to know I had slept with other men or women while with him?"
Shego's mouth twisted in a grimace. "No," She said softly. "He wouldn't take that very well at all."
"So, you see," Yori said, sadly, "I would have to lie to him. Lie, so he would look at me with those innocent, loving eyes, and feel horrible for every lie I told him till it ate away at my soul." The young ninja looked at her hands. "That is why, as much as I resent you for shoving yourself into my rooms and preventing me from seeking him, I am also grateful to you for doing so, Shego-san."
"Here are those reports you were asking about, Shego-chan!" Inuoe said, the large breasted ninja setting a stack of papers in front of Shego with a smile. "Your friends have been very busy!"
Shego set aside her tea and picked up the first bundle. Yamanuchi had student's everywhere, even if they were few in number comparatively, and they all sent back reports of anything and everything they thought would be useful to their school.
The first report was about an encounter between Heather and some GJ agents in Chicago. It seemed the big tittied goth had been stalking a vampire that had attacked some of the local Kindred, along with multiple other residents of the city. GJ had assumed that they could take her after the fight with a dozen agents. She'd only killed three of them, but she had been using an ax and that had lead to a lot of severed limbs. The ninja's thought she had been injured, but they weren't sure to what extent.
Then there was a report about Astrid, who had apparently managed to get home to her boyfriend. GJ had thought him to be merely a crime boss with some sorcerous talents, and had tried to work out some sort of anti-magic counter measures. He had apparently taken out the agents who attacked him with vials of acid and some sort of grenade. Astrid had apparently not taken the attack on her lover well and slaughtered the remaining agents in a berserk fury.
There was a small report about one of the Jarl Henry, who had apparently done something involving a folkish kindred and a bargheist. The ninja made a note that he had also taken one of the girls to his bed after the event, making special note that the girl had been actively hostile to him, but he had spoken some poetry and she'd become compliant. The ninja reporting it hadn't been sure of any significance, but noted this was the second time in his observations such events had taken place.
There were also reports on people potentially behind who had declared her an animal. Unfortunately, none of the ninjas had been able to ascertain who was behind it. It was disappointing, but not terribly surprising.
Then she got to the report of what had happened at the hardware store. No ninjas had been there, but there was apparently one highly placed in GJ and had access to the after action reports.
Will Du had had his arms and legs removed and spent a while in a coma. The first wave of had consisted of nearly sixty agents, including Kim's 'anti-Shego' task force as Shego liked to call it. Of the three members of Team Impossible, two of them were dead, the third heavily injured. Kim was apparently the least injured person at the store, but she was undergoing serious psychological treatments and had sustained multiple broken ribs. Of the original sixty agents, forty were dead, the remaining twenty badly injured, with most of those injuries being mauls rather than cuts.
The second wave had been scrambled as an emergency and consisted of about forty agents. They hadn't fared much better, suffering only fifty percent deaths. Everyone was a mess and reports were uncertain as to how many of them would be ready for active duty again or when. It had been so chaotic and devastating no third wave was managed.
All video of the incident was corrupted, or classified so high that the ninja couldn't access it at all.
The final report was one involving Blackwolf himself. Apparently he'd been good on his word to be a distraction, and had been spotted during their cruise. GJ had tried to make a massive strike force to take him out, but half the agents absolutely refused to go. They were disciplined, harshly, demotions, suspensions, reassignments to the worst duty stations. It didn't matter.
They'd been the lucky ones. Those that had gone, understaffed and driven to a frenzy of vengeance, had attacked him in an abandoned factory. Be it luck, or an actual trap, they'd fallen into his hands in a way that worked to his absolute advantage. He hadn't used the Archleone, just breaking them up into groups of four to six agents, and slaughtered them with the same systematic tactics he'd used in England. Small rooms, small numbers, where they hindered each others ability to fight.
He'd left a surprising number of them alive, but GJ was going to be shelling out a fuck ton of money for artificial limbs and psychologists. It was strange though, because before that his attacks had been all about killing, but now he was slowly leaving more and more of them alive. Given she knew his views and motives hadn't changed, Shego wondered what could have sparked this evolution.
The elder Stoppables were furious with GJ, and had been campaigning to get the charges dropped against their son. So far, there hadn't been much luck, but multiple law suits had been filed and lawyers were working greedily for their paychecks. Even the Possibles had come forwards in nominal defense of Ron. Kim was reportedly not happy about this and had stopped speaking to most everyone in her family accept her Father.
Shego tried not to give in too much to the sadistic pleasure that made her feel. Still, it was something to distract her from the heartache of being parted from the man she loved. That hurt too much to think about.