Notes:

Thank you LxLawliet for the review on the first chapter! It made me smile :)

I had so much fun writing this I just had to drop the next chapter. I'm terrible at waiting a reasonable amount of time between posts. Also, it's not like I have much else to do, because of... certain world events...

Also, I've decided on present-tense for the story, so the first chapter doesn't match perfectly with prose but that's alright. It will be more consistent from now on.

Okay, I'll shut up now. Thanks for reading!

Well, this is interesting, to say the least.

I'm in Hunter x Hunter.

My name is apparently Portabella Mushroom, I've got some shockingly pink hair, and in my hands are a few boxes of Choco-Robots and zipper pouch full of Tampax. Oh, and I'm sitting on top of a shipping crate in a swaying ship, and did I mention that I'm two feet away from Leorio Paladiknight?

He's just as hot in person, I might add. Curse the creation menu for making me thirteen- if not for that, I don't know what would have stopped me from sauntering over to him and throwing out my best pickup line. What a shame, what a shame.

I've immediately deduced exactly where I am, right smack dab in episode one. Kurapika's there too, lying in a hammock with a book in his hands and his legs crossed, and I've spotted Gon brandishing medicinal herbs to a seasick man earnestly.

Anyway, one thing leads to another, and suddenly we're standing in a row military-style in front of our red-nosed and 100% tipsy captain of the ship.

"I'm Gon!" says the little greenie boy. He's literally the most adorable thing I have seen in my entire previous life that I have to wonder what my reaction will be when I see Killua. Probably some severe hyperventilation.

By now the tampons and chocolate have been shoved into the pocket of my tennis skort (that's the great thing about tennis players, they know a good pocket), so there's nothing for me to hold onto anxiously as the introductions continue. Kurapika introduces himself with his elegant, pretentious-but-endearing voice, while Leorio's proclamation is the polar opposite.

It's my turn now. "I'm Portabella." I cringe, silently hating myself for such a stupid name. Even my real name is better than this.

"Why do the four of you want to become Hunters?" the captain asks, hands in his pockets. I panic slightly- I haven't thought this through all the way- but then of course Gon steps in with his whole speech about his deadbeat dad.

And then things spiral. Leorio's yelling at Kurapika for honorifics, Kurapika's going on about his dead family, then it's Leorio's thing on the economy and I just barely manage to squeeze in something about life goals before Leorio and Kurapika stalk out of the captain's room indignantly.

I'm stuck between following and staying with the green baby, but curiosity gets the better of me and I silently tip-tap behind them.

The main deck is a stormy mess, but still I can make out Leorio and Kurapika squaring off even despite the giant waves crashing around us. Men are running out of the ship's cracks, pulling down the sails, while I'm just frozen in place, hoping the water doesn't reach my skirt pockets because a soaked tampon is no use.

I actually can't hear the two over the sound of the water, but that's just fine for me. I already know what they're saying, it's ingrained in my mind from my countless rewatches of the exam arc.

This knowledge is also the reason why I turn at just the right moment to see Katzo, that guy from the first episode and first episode only, swinging from a rope and then thrust off the side of the ship.

I don't even know what to do other than run forward as both Leorio and Kurapika reach for the flying Katzo. Gon dives off the side of the ship in perfect form, and Leorio and Kurapika grab a leg each. I'm behind them, helping the ship's crew hoist the four back onto the ship.

And guess what? Water does get all over my skirt.

When the storm finally clears, I stand awkwardly next to Kurapika as Leorio lectures Gon. He's such a dad that it's adorable and my little fangirl heart thumps wildly in my (very flat, thirteen-year-old) chest.

"You are so thoughtless." Kurapika sighs, arms crossed, chip on his shoulder.

I decide it's finally my time to throw myself into the plot. All of this time and I haven't said a word to the main characters of my favorite show? But I take too long deliberating on word choice, because Gon says "But you did catch me, didn't you?" and I realize I've lost my golden chance to slide in some solid lines.

"You two really caught me." Gon says, his innocent smile shooting a damn arrow through my heart.

"I helped, you know." I mumble under my breath. My own voice surprises me. It's a much higher pitch than I'm used to and simply screams pre-pubescence. Will I have to go through puberty again in this dumb little body?

More and more consequences of my own stupidity.

"Yes, you helped." Gon's addressing me? My heart hammers and I turn to him. I keep forgetting this kid's grown up in the wild, he's probably got ears like a hawk. "Thank you, Ms. Portabella!"

I don't even have time to formulate a response because here comes Katzo with profuse gratitude all over his minor-character face. "Thank you, Gon! You saved my life!"

"It wasn't me alone." Gon says, and I have to look away from his face because I feel like it's sparkling. "You were saved because of their help too!"

I'm not even sure if I'm included, since all I did was tug on Leorio's hand as an entire crew helped them off the side of the ship. But the sentiment reaches Kurapika and Leorio, as their expressions change drastically and their eyes widen. Katzo's bowing now, and even Kurapika looks a little flustered.

"No, that's all right." is Kurapika's response.

"It's nothing. I'm glad you're safe!" Leorio chooses, blushing and making a face so cute it puts Gon's all-star smile up to the test. GODDAMNIT WHY AM I THIRTEEN NOW. YOU HAD ONE JOB-

I clear my throat, half-hoping to clear my brain while I'm at it, but the others seem to take it as me preparing to speak, and suddenly I'm put on the spot.

"Thank you, Katzo!" are the words that stumble out of my mouth, but then I realize that I've literally just thanked this man for nearly flying off the ship to his death. Wait, no- "I mean, not that I'm thanking you for almost dying or anything- uh, I'm just saying, thank you for bringing them together!"

Trust me, the words sounded just as stupid out loud as they look written down, especially in that squeaky tween voice I now have.

"I mean, uh, they were fighting before, but your presence really, um, helped them out?" I'm pretty sure that adding on to it is just making things worse. I'm literally right here in the Hunter x Hunter-verse, right in front of two of the most attractive people to exist in all of fandom history (and one adorable child) and I can't even say a coherent sentence.

Lucky for me, each of the characters seem to interpret what I'm saying differently. Kurapika's nodding slightly, and Gon's still got that smile etched on his face. "Right!" Katzo says ecstatically, "I'll get back to work then."

"I was being rude." Kurapika turns to Leorio in apology. "I apologize, Mr. Leorio."

Now Leorio's blushing, all like "What's this all of a sudden?" and "Just Leorio's fine" and "I was wrong too."

Seeing this scene play out right in front of me reminds me of LeoPika fics I've read and I have to look away to burn the thoughts right out of my brain. This is doing me absolutely no good at all. Holy hell, I will not be able to survive Gon and Killua.

Oh my god, what if I meet Hisoka.

It's not a what-if, it's a thing that is going to happen. This is all real. I'm in Hunter x Hunter. I'm in-

Gon has a cute little grin on his face and it takes every last unoccupied brain cell not to reach out and pinch his little grinning cheeks. Why, why do I have to be such a fangirl? This is only going to get worse, I can just tell.

"You said your name was Portabella?" Leorio asks me, and I ignore the way my heart is beating a drum rhythm. He's talking to me! Okay, it's not exactly my 'real' name, but that version of me isn't exactly real any more, either. She's dead, and what's left is my consciousness in this pathetic body.

"You can call me Be-Bell-a" I squeak, barely able to articulate.

"Yes, Portabella." Kurapika says formally. Wow, he's completely ignored the fact that I've literally just allowed them to use a nickname. Goes to show he's as cautious as always. "I apologize for not listening earlier, I was preoccupied with Leorio."

Not listening? Oh, so nobody was listening to me talk about my reasons for becoming a Hunter after all. That's both relieving, and a little annoying.

The captain chuckles from behind us, holding his flask. "I like the four of you!"

I'm still surprised that I'm included, but I go along with it, because that's just what self-inserts do, I guess, and I'm not taking any chances.

"I'll take responsibility to take you four to the nearest site of the review committee." the captain says.

"Really? What about the test?" a delighted Gon asks the captain, who turns around uber-dramatically.

"I told you, it depends on my mood. The four of you… have passed."

I don't know why so much relief floods me at his words since I kind of already knew this. Also, each of the three's faces upon hearing this are utterly screen-shot worthy. I really miss my phone.

I'm humming Departure! lightly under my breath as the four of us depart the ship at Dolle Harbor. It's still a lot to be so close to the three, like there's a radiance that emits from them and I shouldn't be permitted so close. I also feel ridiculously dressed- the anime girl aesthetic had seemed like a good idea until right about now.

It's hurting my heart, all of it. Every step in this brightly-colored world, every side glance I shoot towards Gon, literally everything initiates the fangirl alarms inside of me. It's right about now that I'm realizing that Gon is taller than I thought. We're about eye level, which sort of makes sense since I'm thirteen in this universe, but it still puts me out of perspective. Everything's just so big and real, and I feel so small.

I would have thought I'd be a little happier about being inside of an anime, but really there's just a gnawing anxiety. I feel stupidly omniscient, too, since I know exactly what's about to go down and they don't.

And honestly, I just feel kind of sad. It was one thing to watch Gon, Leorio, Kurapika, and Killua make connections and then split apart on-screen, but I was starting to be positive that watching it in person would absolutely break me. And what if I had to stick around all the way through the Chimera Ant arc? There's no way I can survive that one, both emotionally and physically.

And I hadn't even considered this yet, but it only made sense that I'd be spending the rest of this life in this universe. What happens when we reach the end? Will it lapse into manga territory, where I'd be totally lost, or will it just… end?

And… do I have the capacity to change anything?

I mean, I've read a few fics with this concept. A fifth, always female OC who tags along for the ride. And usually, their presence can change the course of the story.

Well, if that's the case, I just have to make sure that everyone stays together!

That's possible, right? If I can just force Leorio and Kurapika not to leave after the Save Killua arc, then boom, easy. If I can't do that, then keeping Killua and Gon together at the end of the Election arc has to be possible. But what if the rules of this universe prevent that from happening? Are there even any rules to this universe?

"Portabella, why do you want to become a Hunter?"

The question comes out of literally nowhere and I have to catch my breath again when I realize it's Kurapika, and he's speaking to me! Is he finally interested in me? Me? Okay, well, obviously he's not, but still.

"I don't actually have a choice." I offer as my answer, succeeding in being truthful and vague at the same time.

"I see." Kurapika replies with a nod. The gesture is polite and formal, and he doesn't follow up with any more questions so I assume that I've bored him. I'm remembering now how short his hair is in this arc. I kind of liked it a little better when he grew it out, not that I'm complaining or anything. Even just being able to look at Kurapika like this is a dream come true.

But looking at Kurapika brings up memories of my sister, and suddenly I remember that I have died. It's like up until now, I haven't considered how my death might have affected other people, but all too clearly now I can picture my sister, sobbing when she sees my dead body. And she never cries, especially not when it's related to me. We'd been feuding all of our lives.

The only thing we'd ever had in common was Hunter x Hunter. No, really. It's like a drug, Hunter x Hunter. We would belt Departure! together at midnight as we waited for the show to start. We would send each other fanart and Hunter x Hunter-related videos. Even though I was watching it for the fourth or fifth time when I started her on it, every minute was just as enjoyable as that first time.

And Kurapika was her favorite character. Her lockscreen, her wallpaper, that choppily printed picture hanging at her desk.

The day before I died, we were just starting the Chimera Ant arc. Meruem wasn't even born yet. Would she finish it, now that I'm gone?

Well, that's depressing as hell. I'm dead, and there's nothing I can do about it now. Might as well enjoy myself while I'm here. So I snap back into reality and leave my sister behind. I'm sure she'd understand.

Leorio's waving a little piece of paper, and the four of us are gazing at a large map. "You see, the exam is supposed to be held somewhere in Zaban City. Now, we're here, and the tree is there, which is the opposite direction of Zaban."

"Could you have misheard the captain?" Kurapika gently asks Gon. He'd explained about cutting through to the tree, so they've spent a few minutes trying to figure out what to do. Kurapika's tone is noticeably friendlier towards Gon than it was to me and now I'm sort of sulking. I can't expect everyone to like me immediately, of course, but I guess those fics I've read have given me a different impression.

"I don't think so." Gon shakes his head, leaving me to marvel at the gravity- or lack of it- in his hairstyle. I want to touch it, like I really want to touch it, but that would probably be extremely creepy of me to do so I lock my hands together behind my back. "He told me I should go towards that cedar tree."

Leorio grumbles to his slip of paper, scratching the back of his head as he mutters about the notice's vagueness. Kurapika's got his arms crossed again.

"Our task is to find the site using only limited information. This is another test to determine if we're worthy of the Exam."

I mean, sure, go off Kurapika, but Leorio seems a little annoyed. I smirk, so desperately wanting to drop in my intel, but still unsure if that's a bad idea or not.

"I think I'll check it out for myself!" Gon announces. "Find out what the captain was talking about."

"Oi, oi. Are you serious?" Leorio begins, but Gon's already walking away. "The bus to Zaban is gonna leave any second! We need to be on it when it does! Hey!"

He doesn't even turn around, just waves and waves. Even from the back, Gon is so freaking cute and my heart is going to explode holy cow.

"Geez, the kid's too trusting for his own good." Leorio says, and while I agree, it's not like I'm going to protest it because that's what makes him so adorable. "You can't trust everyone all the time. Oi, Kurapika, come back!"

Now Kurapika's walking away too. "I'm intrigued by the captain's advice, but even more so by Gon's behavior" are his exact words.

"All right, whatever. See ya! It wasn't long but it was nice knowing ya." Leorio says to Kurapika's back, then looks down at me as if remembering that I exist. "I'm going to the bus."

He starts to walk off, and already I'm offended that he doesn't even consider what I'm going to do. Just kidding, I'm not actually that offended, since he's so hot. Still, watching his retreating back makes me want to tell him oh-so-badly.

You know what? I'm going to. Screw the narrative. This little teeny-tiny action isn't going to change too much, anyway. I'm a self-insert, I can do whatever I want, and what I want to do right now is stop Leorio from walking away.

"Yo, Leorio!" I call to him, and he turns back around. I'm dazzled yet again by his face, because oh my god is it gorgeous. I have to remind myself again that for some stupid reason I'm thirteen now, so these thoughts should begone before they even enter my head. "The bus is a trap!"

"A trap?" Leorio repeats. "Why would you know?"

"It's a common rookie trap! The bus never reaches Zaban city." I take a few steps backwards in the direction of Gon and Kurapika, trying to entice Leorio to pick this direction also. "Becoming a Hunter isn't as easy as getting on a bus…"

He makes his decision in a split second. "Fine, fine! Hey, wait for me!" Leorio takes off in an awkward run, breezing past me. It's a tiny little action on my part, but I somehow feel satisfied that I've ever so slightly affected the plot.

Maybe I really could keep this group together.

"It's just, I knew you guys would be lonely without me." Leorio says once we've caught up to the two. He flashes me a small grateful smile, causing my heart to twirl a few dances. "That's why I figured I'd stick with you guys a little longer."

I still feel like a hasty add-on to the group, but even so I keep silent. I'm a little scared to speak too much, since despite my ambitious goals of keeping this group in one piece, I'm terrified of changing the narrative too much.

Summary: I'm an idiot.