Disclaimer - I do not own Naruto or Fairy Tail

00000000000

By Any Means

Chapter 11 - All Roads Lead to Rome Pt 1

Opening - No Pain, No Game by Nano

0o0o0 2 and a Half Months Later 0o0o0

"Do you think the guild is finished yet?" Lucy pondered aloud as the train pulled into the Magnolia train station.

Natsu feebly groaned in response.

Lucy smiled wryly. "I can't believe you get sick every time we take some kind of transportation."

"Aye, it must be a Dragon Slayer thing," Happy pitched in.

"Maybe." Lucy looked up as she heard the conductor announce that passengers could now exit the train and began to collect her things, helping the miserable Natsu to his feet. "Come on you lug, let's get you to Sakura."

"Uuuugh," Natsu whined as Lucy helped him walk off the damnable mode of transportation.

Once on the station platform, Natsu dropped to his knees and began hugging the ground. "Never again…" he whined, causing Lucy to sweatdrop.

"And how are we going to do missions if you never take the train again? Stop being such a baby!" The blonde then grabbed Natsu by the scarf and started dragging him in the direction of the guild while Happy flew along overhead.

A few minutes later, Lucy stared up at the small castle that had taken the place of the guild. "W-wow," she mumbled. 'That's a little outrageous, isn't it?! What happened to the original plan?!'

"Stop inner-monologuing and let's go inside!" Happy exclaimed excitedly above them.

The doors slammed open as Natsu kicked his way in. "Naruto! Fight me!"

"Hey flame-brain, don't go kicking in the doors! We just got those fixed!" Gray called out, sneering at Natsu's barbaric behavior.

"Why don't you try putting some clothes on before giving advice?" Mira said with a smile, eyes closed.

"Gah! Not again!" Gray began to hunt around for his clothes.

"Fufufufu… Gray-sama," A blunette mumbled from outside the guild building, holding onto Gray's shirt.

Back inside, Gray shuddered as a feeling of impending doom swept through him.

Lucy in the meantime looked around the guild in awe as she made her way over to the bar where Sakura, Cana, Tenten, Mira, and Levy were all at. Once seated Cana smiled slyly at her.

"Soo… you keep going on missions with Natsu. Are you two going out?" Cana asked as she lowered her wine barrel.

"W-w-w-w-w-w-what?! W-why would you think that?!" Lucy panicked, her face flushing.

"Oooh someone's blushing. Was it all the times he's rescued you? Or perhaps those rippling abs?" Tenten chuckled as Lucy reddened even more.

"Hey, leave Lucy alone! Stop teasing her just because she likes Natsu," Levy spoke up in defense of her friend.

"Levy!" Lucy cried at the betrayal, before looking nervously over at Sakura who had stars in her eyes.

"So does this mean you'll take him off my hands? You'll keep him in line and prevent him from going on rampages on missions?"

"Um…" Lucy looked away, her look a combination of embarrassment and guilt.

"Damn it Natsu! You destroyed half the town on your last mission!" Makarov screamed off in the background.

Sakura's head met the bar top with a loud thud. "Ugh."

Mira giggled at her friend's reaction. "Don't worry Sakura. Once Lucy has him wrapped around her little finger he'll do whatever she says."

"Not you too, Mira!" Lucy moaned, tears pouring from her eyes.

A loud shout, drew the girls' attention to the rest of the guild.

"Sasuke!" Natsu screamed trying to get the other mage's attention. "Fight me!" He ran at the raven-haired mage, but was easily sidestepped and left to crash into Elfman. The big man grabbed Natsu and swung him around, before chucking him into a table, throwing a group of guild members' drinks into the air.

Sasuke completely ignored the commotion caused by the Dragon Slayer and walked up to Mira at the bar. "...Hn."

"Alright, I'll mark the mission as completed then," Mira said, pulling out the mission log.

"You went and did the mission without us?! Sakura and I have been waiting all morning for you!" Tenten complained, a kunai suddenly dancing across her fingers.

"Hn."

"Jerk." Tenten grumbled as she continued to toy with the kunai.

"I can't believe he did that," Lucy whispered to Levy. "How could he leave them behind?"

"He does that a lot actually. Master used to berate him all the time but he keeps doing it anyway. Its just how he is. Besides, he always marks it as his team completing the mission so Sakura and Tenten get paid as well," Levy whispered back.

"Still, I can't believe Mira's with him…" Lucy trailed off as a bottle flew out the guild wide brawl behind them and smashed on Mira's head.

Sasuke sighed at the sight of his girlfriend smiling stupidly as she bled profusely behind the bar and casually drew his sword. "Hn. Idiots." He then turned toward the mass of fighting mages and jumped into the fray.

Several variations of "You stabbed me!" were heard moments later.

"I'm not healing those moro-" Sakura was cut off as another bottle smashed into her face. Sakura's eye twitched rapidly as a cut formed above her left eye. "... THAT'S IT! COME AND GET YOUR MEDICINE IDIOTS! SHANNARO!" in a flash of pink and red, Fairy Tail mages were flying into the air. Cana and Tenten smiled at each other as they joined in themselves.

Lucy, Levy, and Mira were the only ones not involved in the fighting, and were hiding behind the bar.

"Well… I guess everyones in a good mood," Lucy pointed out as a chair smashed into the bar wall just to the right of them.

"I wonder how long before Master puts his foot down?" Levy questioned covering her head with her hands as a mug shattered nearby.

"I think he already has." Mira stated as Makarov's voice rang throughout the guild.

"What are you idiots doing?!" A giant figure covered in shadows loomed over everyone.

All the fighting came to a halt at that, mages laying everywhere and most still frozen in the motion of punching or kicking.

"Can't you morons go one day without trying to destroy the guild?" As his body shrunk, the Master continued. "If Erza were here she would be disappointed in all of you. We just finished rebuilding the guild!"

BOOM!

The back wall of the guild exploded as a figure was thrown through it. Rolling to a stop, the blond quickly regained his feet, sword in hand. "Alright, I'll give you that point. But I'm far from done Erza!"

"Bring it, Naruto!" Titania's voice echoed from outside the guild.

Eyes glinting, Naruto leapt at the wall, cutting his way through it and making a second hole, before a loud explosion rocked the whole guild again.

Makarov stared in shock at the destruction, mouth on the floor. Everyone rushed outside to watch the weekly fight between the two mages, leaving Makarov alone among the rubble.

As they arrived at the training field, Naruto and Erza were locked in a battle of strength, each trying to overpower the other.

"I'm not going to let you win this time Erza."

"Hoh? Big words from someone who hasn't beat me once."

"Only because you keep limiting our fights to swordplay! If I could use all my skills I could beat you no problem!"

"Is that so? Then show me how strong you are!" Erza taunted as the two broke apart.

Naruto smirked as a magic seal formed around his hand. "Great Gale Tumbling Down The Mountain!"

Everyone sweatdropped at the name only to be shellshocked as a tornado formed from the green magic circle and shot toward Erza.

"Hmph. You think that's enough? Even freshly repaired, my Adamantine Armor can withstand something of that magnitude." The redhead smirked as the attack impacted against her shield, causing a large dust cloud to be thrown up, but otherwise doing no damage.

Part one of his plan a success, Naruto took the opportunity provided by depriving Erza of her sight. He held his sword up, left hand coming up to rest on the blade as a another magic circle flared into life in front of him. "Roar of the Nine Headed Hydra!"

Amid the sounds of groans and hands slapping foreheads, wind began coalescing into a dense mass in front of the blond's magic circle. The mass rippled once, twice, before exploding violently. Nine reptilian heads made of wind shot out, each making a beeline for Erza's last position. The wind serpents let out a terrible screech as they flew, causing the Fairy Tail members to cover their ears. Because of this, they missed the female voice from inside the dust cloud.

"Dance, my blades."

Just as Naruto's attack pierced the dust cloud, there was a flash of light and everything within a ten meter radius of Erza, including the wind attack, was immediately annihilated by the dozen spinning swords surrounding Erza, who had requipped into her Heaven's Wheel Armor.

Seeing his attack rendered totally ineffective, Naruto squinted at Erza. "...Are those wings made of swords?"

The redhead nodded, a smug look on her face. "They are. One can never have too many blades." Naruto nodded along, only to pale as Erza summoned even more swords from her Requip space. "Now...how will you deal with this?!" Erza flew forward, her blades all following ready to impale the blond.

"Isn't that too much?" Lucy questioned, worried for her fellow blond.

"Go Erza! Kick his ass!" Natsu yelled. Lucy sweatdropped.

"Woo, go girl! Stab him once for me!" Tenten cheered, causing everyone to back away from her slowly.

Sasuke, on the other hand, frowned. "When are you going to stop playing around, Dobe?"

As Erza called out her attack name Naruto smirked and snapped his fingers.

"Blumenblatt!"

The swords following Erza slammed into the ground, throwing up another cloud of dust. This time, she quickly dispersed it with a single swing of her swords, revealing her target had disappeared.

"What was that," she muttered, staying on alert as she scanned her surroundings.

"What was what?" a voice asked from behind her. Spinning around while swinging her sword, Erza cleaved through nothing but air.

"Ooo, jumpy aren't we?" the voice cackled out, from behind her again.

Not falling for it this time, Erza slowly turned around, noting Naruto's relaxed stance. "How are you evading my attacks?" she asked, genuinely curious.

Rubbing the back of his head, Naruto glanced away for a moment. "Uh...shit. I didn't think anyone'd ask. Alright, play it cool. You got this."

"It's my shu-" A chill ran down his spine, like someone was giving him a death glare. He coughed before continuing. "Shu...shukuchi! Yeah, my master taught me it when I was learning martial arts."

The hidden shinobi all deadpanned at his blatant lying.

Fortunately, Erza just nodded her head. "I see, a high speed movement technique. I have just the armor for that."

"You what now?"

A flash of light, and the Heaven's Wheel Armor was replaced by a skimpy cheetah print bikini getup with cat ears, paw gauntlets, and even a tail.

Seeing Erza reveal so much skin, half the guild suddenly blushed. Naruto himself was extremely flustered as he was trying-and failing to block his view with his hand.

"W-w-w-what are you doing?!" he squeaked out, unable and unwilling to completely block his view.

Proudly, the redhead thrust her chest forward,right hand brought up in a thumbs up. "This is the Flight Armor. I just recently managed to pick it up. It raises my speed to the max in exchange for lowering my defense a bit."

Sighing, Naruto slowly returned to a ready stance. "You're not even embarrassed, are you?"

A glint in her eye, Erza responded with a smile. "What for?" She crouched in a ready position before disappearing from sight.

Swiftly dodging back, Naruto evaded the sudden uppercut from Erza, before the two flashed out of existence together. Most of the guild could only see them when their weapons clashed and their momentum was halted briefly.

"Oh dear. Do they really have to be so serious?" Mira asked, placing her hands on her hips. Sasuke glanced sidelong at her for a moment, before going back to the fight, his eyes expertly tracking the high speed battle.

"...hn."

"Wait, can you two follow them?" Lucy asked, amazed that anyone could keep up with the disappearing duo.

"Well, when you're an A-Rank mage or above, fights at this speed are pretty much normal," Sakura cut in, opening up her first aid kit.

"What's that for?" the blonde asked.

Hooking a thumb over her shoulder back in the direction of the fight, Sakura answered with a sigh. "Watch."

"HEY YOU TWO, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" A massive arm swiped through the air, swatting Naruto out of the sky as he made another attack on Erza.

"Master," the redhead nodded, Requipping back to her normal armor.

Picking himself up out of the crater he made, Naruto glared at the hulking form of the guild master. "Oi, old man! What the hell do you think you're doing, interrupting our spar?"

"WHAT AM I DOING? YOU DUMBASS, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO THE GUILD!" Makarov bellowed, before pointing one meaty finger at the large holes in the building's walls.

"...oops?" Seeing the old man about to blow a gasket, Naruto began to panic.

"Wait wait wait, it's not my fault! Erza was the one who started it!" he pled.

Nodding the Requip mage stepped forward next to the blond. "It's true master. I initiated the spar, and it was my negligence that allowed us to get so close to the guild building. If anyone is to be punished, punish me." She spread her arms, leaving herself completely undefended. "Please, hit me!"

Makarov, along with most of the guild, looked askance at Erza. "But, I… He…" The guild master slowly shrunk back to his regular size, his head in his hands. He groaned, before throwing his hands into the air. "AH, fine! Whatever! Just fix the damage already. And Mira, get me a drink-No, a dozen! I need to forget all about today!"

The two smiled at each other before laughing as Sakura came up to them, her first-aid kit in hand and a scolding ready to tear them both a new one.

0o0o0 The Next Day- Front of Lucy's House 0o0o0

"It was amazing Mr. Shimura. Both of them were so fast! I don't know how the others were able to follow where they were moving to." Lucy spoke excitedly as she sat on the ledge kicking her feet back and forth above the river cutting through town.

"Ah to be young and full of energy. Sounds like it was quite the sight to see Lucy-chan. Of course, it's not surprising that our fabled Titania could move so fast," Danzo said as he kept a steady eye on his line in the slow moving water.

"That's true. She is pretty amazing isn't she? Of course Naruto was pretty amazing too. I wonder who would've won had Master not interfered?" Lucy pondered as she noticed the fishing line begin to sporadically move about. "Oh! You got another one!"

Danzo smiled as this would be the fifth fish hooked since the blonde had come out to sit with him. "Oh my Lucy-san you must be a good luck charm!" Reeling the line back in, a struggling fish broke the surface and was soon landed. "I don't know how I'm going to eat all of this fish myself, haha."

"I'll have to bring that stupid cat around sometime to help you out." Lucy looked at her watch and nodded. "Anyway I have to get going Mr. Shimura. I'll see you later!" She quickly got up and grabbed her purse and began heading in the direction of the guild waving goodbye.

Danzo raised an arm and waved goodbye as well.

It was a number of minutes later that Lucy found herself walking past her favorite book store that she saw them.

Sitting in a combined stroller were two toddlers completely unattended. The first had a tuft of spiked purple hair while his more than likely sister had short straight silver hair. Both appeared to be fascinated with the bustling streets of Magnolia. Walking up to them Lucy couldn't help but wonder where their parents were. "Hey there cuties, where did your parents go?" Lucy smiled as she caught both of their attention and curiosity.

"Their father is inside picking up some new books to read. It is my duty to watch the pups while he makes his purchases," a voice said from behind Lucy, causing her to jump and turn in shock.

She saw no one besides a small pug wearing a blue jacket with a strange face printed on the back and a blue bandanna wrapped around his head. "Hello? Who said that?"

"I did of course!" Lucy heard the words come from the pug but refused to register it had said them. "Now I know what you're thinking." The pug jumped up onto the stroller before raising his paw and showing her the soft pads underneath. "These must be the softest looking dog pads you've ever seen. Well, you'd be correct. You may touch them."

Lucy blinked a few times at the outstretched paw. "A talking pug… it's a talking pug that wants me to touch its paw. And I thought Happy was as strange as it could get."

"Well are you going to touch it or not?" the dog asked impatiently.

"Oh! Er… you see… the thing is-" Lucy was at a loss for how to get out of this weird situation.

"Come on, they're reall-Gah!" the dog cried out as the young boy had reached up and grasped the wagging tail above him. "Dang brat. If you weren't Kakashi's pup…" Pakkun growled.

The boy seemed to give a mischievous grin, as if knowing he'd annoyed the poor dog. "Why can't you be more like your sister?"

"Kamui giving you trouble again Pakkun?" the new voice brought everyone's attention to the front of the store where a tall silver-haired man was now standing, a bright orange book flipped open in one hand and the other holding a shopping bag. He held a disinterested look, a face-mask covering the bridge of his nose down, wearing a long sleeved navy blue shirt and khaki pants.

"The pup is too much like his mother if you ask me." Pakkun glared at the small boy.

"And who is this?" Kakashi asked finally looking at Lucy.

"Ah… right my name's Lucy. It's nice to meet you!" Lucy introduced herself.

"And how can I help you Lucy?"

"Er… I was walking by when I saw your kids by themselves with no one around. I was concerned about them."

"I see. Well thank you for being so concerned."

"It was nothing. I'm just glad nothing bad happened." Lucy smiled as she looked back over at the two children. "They're both beautiful. What's your daughter's name?"

"Rinka. As you can tell she's not as rambunctious as her brother is," Kakashi pointed out as Kamui once more attempted to get a hold of Pakkun's tail, while his sister merely sat there staring at the spectacle.

"I can tell." Lucy laughed at the comical sight of Pakkun trying to convince the toddler not to grab his tail. "Anyway, I'm now running a tad late, so I better get going. I hope you enjoy your visit to Magnolia!" With that Lucy took off back toward the guild leaving the weird family she'd run into behind.

0o0o0 Fairy Tail Guild Hall - Front Door 0o0o0

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

Lucy had never heard such silence outside of the Guild before. It was practically unnerving. Nervously she opened the giant doors and called out, peeking her head in, "H-hello? Where is - Kyah!"

She was suddenly pulled into the near pitch black hall and rapidly pulled along to the basement. "What's going on? Who is that?"

"Lucy be quiet!" Lucy recognized Sakura's voice in the near perfect darkness.

"Sakura what's going on?" Lucy whispered quietly.

"It's hard to explain to someone new to the guild but… well, let's just say an old guild member is returning today and we don't want to be around when that happens." Lucy was shocked by the fear evident in the older girl's voice. "It was pandemonium this morning. Everyone scrambled to get a job and out of town as fast as they could. This is probably the most job requests we've authorized in a single day in all of Fairy Tail's history."

"What!?" the blond whisper shouted.

"You don't understand Lucy! She's even more terrifying than Erza!"

"Natsu you dumbass! SHUT UP!" Sakura screamed only to immediately cover her mouth as her eyes widened.

"Yeah listen to Pinkie, I'm not that terrifying!" a new voice Lucy had never heard before called out from the darkness.

Everything became deathly still. For a solid thirty seconds nothing happened.

"Every man for himself!" Elfman cried as screams and cries rang out. A stampede of terrified mages rushed to escape the guild.

Lucy was grabbed by someone, she wasn't sure, but from the warmth emitting from the hand holding her she was positive it was Natsu.

A sudden light burst from the front doors, causing everyone to freeze in place. "What is going on here!?" Stepping out from the light came Erza and Naruto. "Why are all of you screaming your heads off?"

"Red! Its been so long! And from the looks of things you've got a nice boy toy there!"

Erza froze mid-step at the sound of the voice. "An-Anko?"

"The one and only!" The newly revealed Anko stepped out into the light a big smile on her face. "Man is it good to be home! By the way why are the lights out? Master not recharge the lacrima lights again?"

Naruto took one look at Anko and shook his head disbelievingly. "Anko? You couldn't mean Anko Mitarashi?"

"Oh? You've heard of me boy toy?" Anko asked as she turned to get a closer look at whom she was assuming was Erza's boyfriend. Blond hair, blue eyes, whiskers like a cat… Whiskers?

"It couldn't be! Is that you Whiskers?" she exclaimed as she pulled him into a bone-breaking hug.

Naruto deadpanned as he managed to wheeze out, "Yep, that's the crazy bitch Anko I know."

Everyone tensed up at that, waiting for Anko to kill him. Anko shoved Naruto back and laughed, "I see you're still just as disrespectful as always you little bastard!"

"I'm not little anymore! I'm taller than you, you freaking psycho!" Naruto shouted causing more of the guild members to go stark white in shock from Naruto's statement.

"You'll always be little Whiskers to me Whiskers. Hell, I remember helping Kakashi change your diapers!"

"Shut up! Just shut up!" he shouted desperately, looking at all the guild members who were still there.

"Aww, is someone embarrassed because his girlfriend is here?" Anko said looking over at the still shocked Erza.

"She's not my girlfriend!"

"He's not my boyfriend!"

Both Naruto and Erza said together, Erza finally coming out of her stupor, both blushing at the accusation.

"Oh, I see. Keeping it a secret then. Gotcha!" Anko winked.

"Sweetheart, I told you not to terrorize the guild when you arrived. At least wait until I was done shopping," a distracted Kakashi said as he rolled the stroller carrying his two children into the guild, stopping as Anko squealed at the sight of them.

"Oh my babies!" The purplenette launched herself forward, almost bowling over the stroller as she began to smother her children with affection.

"Babies?" the entire guild paled at the sight.

"Oh Anko-sensei they're adorable!" Tenten squealed appearing next to the mother. She leaned in and picked up Rinka who stared back at her.

"Jiiiiiiiiiiiiii..."

Tenten felt unnerved by the staring child. "Uh… Sensei why is she just staring?"

"Oh she does that. Just like her daddy!" Anko said proudly.

Meanwhile, Mira and most of the females had leaned over the crib and were making silly faces at Kamui, who was laughing and clapping while Sasuke looked on uncomfortably.

"Oh he's so cute!" Bisca cooed while throwing a look over at Alzack.

"He looks just like you Kakashi!" Macao said as he and Wakaba had walked up to congratulate the father who was standing next to the stroller still, reading his orange book.

"Hmm? Oh yes. Thanks." Kakashi hadn't even looked up from his book.

"So cold..." Macao said depressed at the dismissive attitude Kakashi gave off.

"Is that the new Icha Icha?" Wakaba asked, taking notice of Kakashi's book.

"Yep." Kakashi continued reading.

"And you're reading it out in the open?" Wakaba asked in surprise.

"Mhm." Kakashi turned the page.

Wakaba joined Macao in depression. "So cold…"

"You know it's not nice to be so dismissive like that Kakashi-nii," Naruto said walking up and subtly packing away the copy of the new Icha Icha Kakashi gave him.

"It's been a long time Naruto," Kakashi said taking a look at the young man out of the corner of his eye.

"Mm, it has," Naruto replied. "I'm guessing Jiraiya told you eh?" he asked scratching the back of his head.

"He did. Though I'm still surprised you're here. Have you become a Fairy Tale mage?" Kakashi asked.

"Well, about that…"

"Why's everybody just standing around here?" the diminutive master of Fairy Tail asked as he stepped into the guild hall.

"Old man Makky!" Anko called out with a wave, sparkles in her eyes.

Makarov froze at the sound of the she-devil. "Oh god. Please no. I thought for sure she'd be gone for another three years. She's like Natsu, Gray, Tenten, and Erza all rolled into one. Please God, strike me down where I stand!"

Anko was waving her hand in front of the catatonic Makarov's face. "Hello, Earthland to Makky… I think I broke him."

"Down honey, give the master some space," Kakashi chided from behind his book.

Hearing Kakashi's voice, Makarov snapped out of his funk. "Kakashi my boy, how are you? And - wait, did you say honey?"

"He sure did! Kakashi and I got married a year ago!" Anko said happily jumping onto Kakashi who let her do as she pleased. "And look, we have kids!" she chattered on, hoisting her two babies in her arms.

"K-k-kids?" Makarov sputtered.

"Yep! This is Rinka," she nudged the silver haired girl who started staring at the old man, "and Kamui!" she lifted the smiling mini kakashi with purple hair.

Makarov promptly fainted.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Sakura is Master alright!?" Mira asked as Sakura finally came out of the infirmary and back to the bar where Anko had settled to continue showing off her children.

"He'll be fine. Honestly, he's faking to avoid accepting the fact Anko is back, married, and has children. I swear he's more of a child than a guild master." Sakura sat down and accepted the mug Mira handed her. "So has either of them-"

"And that's when 'Kashi suggested we try infiltrating the slave ring!" Anko's voice cut in over their chatter as she regaled the other guild members with tales from their mission.

"-explained why they were back yet," Sakura finished, before tossing back her booze in one go. "Nevermind, I guess Anko's doing that now."

Mira chuckled. "She started about half an hour ago once the girls finished fussing over the children."

"-and then they told us they were going to sell us to the highest bidder in Midi! Midi of all places!" Anko continued, signalling for another drink.

"Wait, I thought you said they only dealt in women?" one guild member asked.

Anko nodded. "That's right."

"But you both infiltrated the slave ring."

Another nod.

"...Kakashi's not a woman… Is he?"

Anko did a spit take, her beer flying into the guild members face. "Gyahaha! Oh god, my sides! Gahahaha!"

Kakashi, from a table off to the side where he was sitting with Naruto and Sasuke, decided to give his two cents. "Hey, I make a very respectable woman, I'll have you know."

Sakura sighed, forehead thumping on the bar as everyone broke out in laughter. "Idiots, the lot of them."

"KAKASHI! FIGHT ME!" Natsu screamed, hands alight.

"Can it charcoal breath. You can't even beat me, how do you expect to beat an S-Rank mage?" Gray asked, butting in and slamming his forehead into Natsu's.

"What was that you damn stripper!?"

"...You two are getting along, aren't you?" An ominous voice spoke from behind them, causing both mages to pale.

"... Y-yeah, we are. Just messing with my best bud Natsu." Gray nervously replied, too scared to look behind him to confirm Erza readying to dole out punishment.

"A-aye!" Natsu confirmed, pale and shivering.

"-and that's when I found out I was pregnant!" Anko continued proudly, already back in storytelling mode.

Sakura's head thumped the bar again while Mira watched with a smile.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"So what is it that you want Naruto?"

It was late now, everyone having left the guild and gone home leaving just Naruto and Kakashi in the empty guild hall. The two had been alone for the past hour reading their individual copies of Icha Icha when the silver haired man had spoken up.

"Hmm? You say something Kakashi-nii?" Naruto asked, peeking up from his book.

"You heard me just fine." Kakashi set his book down and gave a serious look to the younger man.

Naruto sighed and closed his as well. "I've been waiting for you. Got to say I didn't expect you to have gotten married and have kids. That complicates things a bit."

"Complicates what?" Kakashi asked, carefully keeping his tone neutral. If what Naruto was asking endangered his family...

"Let me be blunt. I want - no, need your help, Kakashi."

"Need me for what?"

"Shadow Heart's revenge." Naruto stared into Kakashi's eyes, waiting for his reaction.

"...So it is you. The one that's been doling out justice dressed as a Shadow Heart mage." Kakashi said after a minute of silence. "That's what you need me for? To seek revenge on Fiore after 13 long years of making sure Tenten and Sasuke are safe?" Anger bled into kakashi's voice. "To risk my children's lives to make countries that had a legitimate reason to be afraid of Shadow Heart pay for all the blood spilled?" Kakashi's voice had risen to not quite shouting at this point, before he suddenly quieted.

"The time for revenge has long since passed Naruto. You need to let this go, and let it go now... or I will stop you."

Naruto stared Kakashi straight in the eyes, determined cobalt staring into steely gray. Into the tense silence, the blond uttered a single name. "Kyosho no Issan."

"Come again?" Kakashi asked, not understanding.

"Kyosho no Issan." Naruto paused for a moment. "Every single crime, event, tragedy, attributed to Shadow Heart in those last years… The failing trust on both sides and the rising flames of war… All of it can be traced back to them."

"What are you talking about Naruto? Are you saying some rogue group set Shadow Heart and Ishgar against each other?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"That's…" 'Impossible? No Kakashi, think about it. How Minato was getting so frustrated at the supposed lack of documentation of missions, the missing shinobi that were presumed dead only to hear rumors about them later...' The veteran shinobi shook his head, almost unwilling to believe what his sensei's son was telling him. "How do you know?"

"Because I was almost killed by one of their members, Momochi Zabuza."

Kakashi's eyes widened. "The Devil of the Hidden Mist? But he was…"

"A missing-nin? Presumed dead years ago?" Naruto's eyes hardened as he recalled his fight with the man. "Let me assure you, he's still alive and kicking."

"Naruto… Zabuza wasn't - isn't one to let his opponents survive. And he always ensures they don't."

"I'm alive," the blond shrugged flippantly. Seeing Kakashi's serious look, the blond grinned. "I must have impressed him."

Things still didn't add up for Kakashi. "Then how? And how do you know he's a member of this Kyosho no Issan?"

"Because I'm not dead. He had me dead to rights. And yet… he didn't kill me. He let me live, Kakashi, as an... insurance plan, of sorts. Even the Devil of the Mist thinks something's off with this group he's joined." Naruto grimaced as he spoke in half-truths. "I'm alive because there's no one else to stop them otherwise. No one who knows the truth about what happened 13 years ago, and no one who can protect Ishgar from tearing itself apart. Shadow Heart was the only threat to them. The only ones that could stop them."

"But Shadow Heart was defeated by a mage coalition, surely-"

"It's going to take more than power to defeat them Kakashi. It's going to take every bit of skill and grit and ruthlessness we shinobi possess to oppose them. They don't play by the mage's rules, they don't even play by Shadow Heart's rules. Anything goes with them. Anything Kakashi."

"And what? You expect to be able to stop them with just you and me? I admit we could do some damage, especially if you were able to fight the Mist's Devil but do you even know their numbers? Their location? Who's in charge? What are their plans?"

Naruto looked off to the side, acknowledging his lack of critical information. "I only know what their main goal is."

"And that is?"

"To rule Ishgar."

"That's impossible." The older man replied flatly. "The Kingdoms would band together and stop them."

"Not if the Kingdoms have already destroyed one another." Naruto responded just as quickly. "Wake up Kakashi. The threat is very real, and their plans are already in motion. We've managed to stymie them a bit in Bosco, but they've had free reign in the other Kingdoms. Just look at your mission in Midi. Slavers freely selling innocent women as they please with no fear of the Rune Knights stopping them. Pergrande has already taken much of Sin and Enca, Joya has adopted a policy of extreme isolation, Desierto has been reduced to little more than roving bands of bandits and nomads… the list goes on and on, Kakashi."

Kakashi's brow furrowed. 'I'd heard tidbits here and there from Jiraiya-sama, but this...'

After a few more moments of silence, Kakashi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "So what do you need this old man for Naruto?"

Naruto dared to hope. "Does this mean you'll help?"

"I agree to nothing until you tell me everything you know. You know very well, information is power, and I refuse to make a decision while in the dark. I have a new family to consider now."

Naruto nodded. "Alright Kakashi-nii. So let me tell you about my buddy Shikamaru…"

0000000000

Ending - Black Board - Nano

0o0o0o0o0o0

Oh look we're alive! Only a month or two late….

We're late, we're late. We're late for a very important update. But we are alive, and the update is out!

And we're officially in Arc 2 now!

Review Replies:

In general, we saw some questions about Naruto's swordmanship. The whole point with that is that Erza thinks he's a swordsman, when he isn't. He's a shinobi, so having a proper sword fighting form was never high on his list. He was focused on getting the blade to the target, and making up for any deficiencies with sheer speed and agility.

Not to mention his skill is more in short blades, which require one hand versus a full katana that requires two.

The whole ErzaxNaruto fantasy scene is entirely Ronin's fault. I think it's a bit jumping the gun, but hey, Erza can fantasize if she wants to.

Yeah once it was posted, kinda realized how much of the gun was jumped. We have plans to fix it soon and make Erza less… lustful for Naruto.

LOGICAL RELATIONSHIP PROGRESSION.

^ that. Anyway we'll see you all in the next chapter!

That's all for now folks, please come again!

And make sure to review and let us know what you all think! It helps us a lot.