"Sorry I'm a bit late," said the oddly dressed man. "Was investigating something I'd heard about. Professional interest."

"One normally shows up on time for an important job interview," stated Professor McGonagall. "If not early."

"As I said - professional interest," said the man. "You wanted a competent Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor. So when I heard there was a curse on the position, I had to investigate."

"No one has been able to find it before now," stated Dumbledore, looking down at the scroll in front of him.

"Oh, I found it," said the man. "Very clever work, finally found it in the offices. Gradual influence, dark thoughts and intents as a primary effect, secondary is the usual sort of bad luck curse. If the influence portion didn't take for whatever reason, the secondary effects would start ratcheting up as time went on. Best you could likely manage is a one-year term without one or both hitting the target."

Professor McGonagall put down her bottle of Irn Bru. "You found it?"

"It's tied to someone's life - so as long as they avoid death it'll be a stone cold to remove," stated their DADA candidate. "I'm planning on writing the details up and sending it all on to Amelia Bones. I'd think a couple of Unspeakables might be quite interested in it."

"You found it but didn't remove it?" asked McGonagall. "Why are you leaving it?"

"The muggles have something called a 'temporary tattoo'," said the DADA candidate. "Did up one that mimics the code needed to avoid being a target."

The two watched as their DADA applicant rolled up the sleeve of his trenchcoat and then the sleeve underneath, revealing a skull and snake image.

"That's the Dark Mark," said McGonagall. "Except the snake normally isn't smiling, have bug-eyes, or wear a sailor's hat. Nor does the skull normally have waggling thick eyebrows while rolling his eyes."

"Well, I may have made a few artistic modifications," stated the trenchcoat-wearer. "It was entirely too emo for me. Or goth. I don't goth."

"Be that as it may, I think we should go over your qualifications," said McGonagall. "It says here that you have no actual teaching experience and that you are recovering from injuries that were inflicted in the field?"

"South America," stated the trenchcoat-wearer. "Vampires, an eldritch abomination masquerading as an Aztec god, and worse."

Minerva McGonagall blinked. "Worse?"

"Clowns. I hate clowns. Also mimes, but these were clowns."

"Ah, quite so," said Minerva, clearly not understanding but apparently deciding it was too troublesome to probe further on that.

"What sort of 'eldritch abomination'?" asked Albus Dumbledore.

"Cthulhoid entity, type IV," said the trenchcoat-wearer.

"Ah," said Albus Dumbledore. "Those are nasty."

"I had help," said the DADA applicant.

"I have a pensieve," pondered Albus aloud. "It might do for your qualifications if we could see that."

*** (much later scene)

"Hmmm," I said, nodding as I pondered the Goblet and one of my students and the possible repercussions.

"What?" asked Harry Potter, sounding flustered.

"You were doing that 'hundred-meter stare' thing again," explained Hermione Granger.

"Oh," I said. "Just a moment." A quick gesture and some paperwork appeared on the nearest table. I quickly pulled out my pen and began scribbling things out. "You said his middle name was 'Marvolo', right?"

"Uhm, what are you doing?" asked Harry.

"Oh, filling out paperwork to indicate a 'Tom Marvolo Riddle' has some remedial classes to take," I told the children. Since I was currently the Defense Against The Dark Arts instructor, that WAS within my authority.

"You're bringing Lord Voldemort back to Hogwarts?" asked an incredulous Harry.

"No, I'm making him a student again," I said. Then I made another quick charm, summoning paperwork from wherever it got stored. As an instructor, this also was within my authority.

"Why would you do THAT?!" asked Hermione Granger.

I quickly took the signature off the essay and transferred it to a slip of paper, then sent it over to the Goblet of Fire. "That's why."

"I don't get it," said Ron Weasley.

"What was the second rule of magical combat that I put forward on the first day of class?" I asked. Teachable moment and all.

"You said 'any advantage you can steal or borrow or make - is a fair advantage'?" asked Harry.

"No," corrected Hermione. "It was 'use the environment to your advantage' - but I... oh."

"Right," I told the three. "Not much chance of it happening, but if his name comes out of that cup and he doesn't show - he'll lose his magic. Which would certainly give Harry here an advantage later on, wouldn't it?"