just more "competent DADA teacher" scenes i can't use. The sections deal with Hagrid's Care Of Magical Creatures class specifically.
"Wonder what Hagrid's got for us," said Harry.
"Whatever it is," said Ron, "it's bound to be more interesting than whatever Hermione's doing in Divination."
"Right," agreed Harry as the paddock came into view. There was Hagrid. There was their Defense teacher. And there was... a very odd-looking girl.
She was white tinted blue. Her skin was a pale white with a faint blue tint. Her hair was long enough to hang around her hips and it was white with bluish edging. Her lips were considerably more blue and ice-blue eyes looked over the approaching students with a certain wariness.
Despite the heat of early fall around them, there was snow on the ground around her.
"Greetings class," called out Hagrid as the last stragglers arrived. "Today we're talking about a couple of magical creatures - though some would call Miss Oyuki here a Class Double-X Beast, in her homeland she's considered a Being. Nice to have a friend like her."
"What's so special about some deformed-" began Draco Malfoy.
A snowball hit him in the face, interrupting whatever he was about to say.
Harry blinked, then a slow grin appeared on his face.
Draco wiped the snowball off his face. "You'll pay for that! When my father hears-"
Another snowball hit him in the face.
"Christmas has come early this year," said a delighted Ron Weasley.
"Bit of a learning curve, that one," said the Defense teacher to Hagrid.
Spitting out snow, Draco glared at the girl. He hadn't seen her move, but where else could that have come from. This time he held an arm in front of his face to block. "You have no idea who you are-"
Two snowballs hit, one on each side of Draco's head, simultaneously. Many of the accompanying Slytherins immediately started moving AWAY from the boy despite the usual House solidarity.
"-dealing with," finished Draco. "When my-"
There was a loud "foompf" sound as suddenly enough snow to half-bury the Slytherin was suddenly dumped on the Malfoy heir without an apparent source.
Hagrid turned to the Defense teacher. "You know. You might just have something there."
"I am the Heir of the Noble House of Malfoy and -" began Draco.
Another load of snow coalesced out of thin air as Harry watched with a gleeful expression and dumped itself on Draco Malfoy. Now he was completely buried.
"Okay," said the Defense teacher. "Lesson one for today. If you don't know what you're facing, be polite. Particularly if the magical creature or being is capable of understanding human speech."
The snow pile began breaking apart as Draco fought his way out, wand out and held in a shaky hand. "You shall rue-"
There was an odd sound as ice formed around Draco's wand and upper arm.
"Mister Malfoy, you just escalated the situation," said the Defense teacher. "If this were my class I'd be deducting points."
"You suppose I should?" asked Hagrid.
"It's your class," pointed out the Defense teacher.
"My father will..." began Draco.
Ice formed around his mouth but left his nose alone.
The girl with the snow asked something in her native language.
"Can I get her name?" asked Harry Potter, sticking his hand up. "I want to send her something at Christmas."
"Ami Yukino, though she goes by Oyuki as that is a common name for her kind," said the Professor.
"Right," said Hagrid. "Oyuki here is a 'yukionna' or snow-woman from Japan and related areas. They be kind of like the veela in that they intermarry with humans. They have power over cold, as Mister Malfoy here can prolly attest."
"MFFFFFFFFF!" declared the shivering Draco Malfoy.
"Ah, quit yer bellyachin'," said Hagrid. "She coulda frozen the blood in yer veins, causing ya to burst like some overripe pimple. She didn't though. Just a bit o' demonstration. Ah, lass. If ye could free him? I think the wee lad is a bit chilled at the moment."
"Awwww," over-dramatized Harry. And, strangely enough, Daphne Greengrass did the same thing.
The ice around Draco's wand hand and mouth started dissolving. Draco glared at everyone, strangely enough his glare at Greengrass was more hostile than the one he turned on Harry Potter.
"Might want to cast a couple of warming charms on him," suggested Hagrid. "Now. Can anyone tell me how ye should approach a yukionna if ye run into one in the country?"
Draco opened his mouth.
"Besides Malfoy there," appended Hagrid.
"Hello, I'm Harry Potter, and I think that was a lovely demonstration," said Harry, still grinning.
"Tha's right," said Hagrid. "Be polite. In general, being polite to anything dangerous and capable of understanding human speech is a good first approach."
MUCH later:
"What's on today's lesson plan, Hagrid?" asked Harry, idly wondering why Draco Malfoy was even bothering to show up since he apparently had ZERO interest in actually caring for anything. Actually, Harry mused to himself, he rather doubted Draco Malfoy had the capacity to take care of a muggle houseplant.
"Oi, got something special for ye," said Hagrid. "These ain't common either. Everyone say hello to Hissa."
"That's a runespoor," pointed out Daphne Greengrass.
"Yes, yes it is," agreed Hagrid.
"Finally, a beast worth studying," declared Draco Malfoy.
"Runespoors are sometimes used as pets or guardians or both," Hagrid informed them. "It's the third head ye got to worry about. Poisonous and all. Also a bit of a sharp tongue to him."
"It's poisonous?" asked Ron, who'd been leaning forward and now was most definitely not.
"Right-e-o," said Hagrid. "Snakes are generally either constrictors, which grab their prey with their bodies and then crush them, or are poisonous. Excepting in Australia o' course."
"Australia?" asked Ron, still eyeing the runespoor.
"Everythin' in Australia is either dangerous, poisonous, or sheep. And there be at least one magical species that's all three. Sometimes." Hagrid nodded to himself. Magical creatures WAS one of his passions after all.
Ron started picturing a poisonous and dangerous killer sheep and decided not to go to Australia.
"Hello there," said Harry to the three-headed snake, remembering that he'd spoken to that one at the zoo.
"Runespoor can't talk, Harry," said Hagrid. "Though Hissa here is a pet and magical guardian type. Actually on loan from Professor Sinistra - didn't know she even had one till we gots to talkin'. She can prolly understand a few things by now, I expect."
"'A few things' he says," grumbled the runespoor far left head. "Poor Hissa, everyone misunderstands."
"Except Mistress," countered the runespoor's middle head.
"Can I get a nap yet?" added the third head.
-another session altogether-
"A Meliae!" exclaimed one of the Gryffindor girls, clapping her hands excitedly.
"Five points to Gryffindor," said Hagrid happily.
The guys were staring at a very shapely woman with green skin and hair nodded and gave a thumb's up at the Gryffindor who'd identified her.
"Meliae are fairly rare," said Hagrid. "Most of 'em are found in Greece. Like kitsune and veela and yukionna and sirens and such, they tend to get in with human families. Anyone want to hazard a guess why wizard families are usually glad to have 'em?"
"Isn't it obvious," offered Malfoy. "As servants to a noble wizard family."
There was a cracking noise and there was quite suddenly a tree there and a startled yelp from Draco who was now ten feet up in the branches. Fifteen feet. Twenty feet.
"Oi, that be enough, Ivy. He got an idea I think," said Hagrid. "Oi. Mister Malfoy. Professor Snape wanted me to remind ye that Slytherin is supposed to be about cunning."
Daphne Greengrass stepped forward and addressed the Meliae. "Hello, Ivy. I'd like to apologize for Draco here. I think his parent dropped him on his head when he was a child."
"Hey!" protested someone up a tree.
"As to your question, Professor," said Daphne. "Meliae are Greek nature spirits. So they'd likely dwell in a garden or around a farm and their magic would allow for bountiful crops."
"Excellent, Miss Greengrass is it? They got talents especially useful for that sort o' thing." Hagrid nodded. "Now. Who needs a demonstration?"
There was a loud thud as Draco landed on his buttocks.
"I don't think further demonstrations will be entirely necessary," said Daphne Greengrass drily.
-later that same year-
"Unicorns, Hagrid?" asked Harry, doing his best to ignore how most of the girls were cooing and trying to get the attention of the silvery beast in the paddock.
"Well, I was talkin' to that Perfesser who was suggestin' I work me way up to interestin' stuff like hippogriffs and lamia," said Hagrid.
"Seems to be working," commented Harry.
"Enough!" said Draco Malfoy."I'll show this beast who is..."
WHAM!
Harry blinked. "That's..."
"Oh. Daphne Greengrass be working extra credit with the Defense Professer," said Hagrid. "Apparently in Japan there's a number of gals who know that spell. Doesn't do permanent damage."
"She imbedded Draco Malfoy into the ground with an enormous mallet," said Harry.
"Yer point?" asked Hagrid.
"She did it very well, but she could use a little work on the follow through," commented Harry.
"You know, that's a very scary spell," noted Ron. "I hope Hermione never learns it."
-end of year-
Harry's conversation with Ron trailed off as he noted that the paddock at Hagrid's hut had been altered.
"Blimey," commented Ron. "What's up with all the teachers? And the Headmaster? And, ain't that Draco's dad?"
"That's my Aunt Amelia," commented Susan Bones, waving a little uncertainly at a woman with a monacle who looked VERY serious.
"Professors from Divination, Defense, Transfiguration, Charms," summed up Daphne Greengrass as she and her friend from Slytherin edged closer. "Potter, you have any idea what the extra security's for?"
"It's near the end of the term, so I'm guessing we've got a really really dangerous creature here today," said Harry, checking around. "Look. They've got wards and runes up around the paddock. What do you suppose that white stuff is they've encircled the paddock with."
Daphne craned her neck forward and squinted. "The white line looks like salt. The reddish black I'm not sure of."
"Cold iron," said Tracey Davis. "Cold iron flakes and shards. My family sold some to Hogwarts last month."
"Father?" asked Draco, upon seeing his father there.
"Right," said Hagrid as he stepped forward. "Now, none of you disturb those lines of dust."
"Or the wards, runes, or other protections we've put up," said Professor Vector, the Arithmancy teacher looking even more severe than usual.
"Perfesser," said Hagrid, nodding to the Defense teacher.
A gesture and a flickering image began to appear in the paddock.
"An illusion?" scoffed Draco. "You're putting on this show for an IMAGE? Clearly the senility of the staff..."
"Draco, my beloved son," said Lucius Malfoy. "Shut up."
Draco turned pale and shut up, clearly completely shocked by the statement.
"This here is an image of something called an Elder," said Hagrid. "Since our Defense Professor is the only one to face one around here, he's doing an image of one. It'll take a wee bit because it's a tricky thing. Now, the BAD thing about this is that just showing you lot the image might cause the Elder to take control of the image and manifest a bit of itself."
"An elder what?" asked one of the Slytherins.
"They're called a buncha names," said Hagrid. "Many-angled-ones. They That Came Before. Outsiders. Elder Gods. Beyonders - though that gets confused with something else altogether and was mainly used back in the 1920s or 1930s or so."
"It's a cat," said Ron, very disappointed.
"This is one of the more innocuous ones," said the Defense teacher. "This one, if it does appear, we can placate and send on. It's also hideously powerful or completely not - depending on how much of itself it sends into our universe."
"'Placate'?" asked Daphne.
"This one fancies itself the god of pranks and mischief," explained Dumbledore. "Not to say it wouldn't be considerably dangerous."
"How is THAT supposed to be dangerous?" asked Draco, forgetting his father's instructions. "Professor McGonagall's animagus form looks scarier."
The cat-image's head swiveled towards Draco and cocked to the side.
"Oh crap. I didn't do that," said the Defense teacher.
"Seriously?" mocked Draco, ignoring the look his father was giving him. He would prove himself in front of his father! "That little kitten wouldn't even-"
There was a sudden sound as if the universe itself had passed wind.
Draco blinked as he was suddenly INSIDE the wards and the paddock.
"Draco," said Lucius with all the intensity he could. "Sign no deals. Make no promises. Do not threaten. Do not beg. It would be best if you said or did nothing at all."
"What could an illusion of a kitten with a plaid collar do?" asked a disbelieving Draco. "Spit a hairball on me?"
"Would you prefer a different appearance then?" asked the kitten. "I can do that."
"Everyone look AWAY!" yelled Albus Dumbledore, who was not nearly so senile that he couldn't see what was about to happen.
Naturally, half the students followed the order.
A quarter merely closed their eyes.
There were a lot of screams and gagging noises from those who did neither and were merely curious about what was going on.
"I TAKE IT BACK! I TAKE IT BACK!" screamed Draco.
"Oh. You're no fun," said the Being. "Maybe I could borrow a line from that other universe. Hmmm. Do you want to be a magical girl?"
"NO!" declared Draco.
"Did you drop a golden axe or a silver axe?"
"NO!" repeated Draco, who had his eyes closed and ears covered and was discovering that he could STILL hear this thing talk.
"You could become Prince?"
"Really... NO!" declared Draco, realizing he'd almost fallen for that even if he didn't know that Prince was a muggle singer.
"Gonna be a tough sell. Say, since you're the only child of the once-bigger clan - how about fertility? So you can bear lots and lots of kids when the time comes."
"That doesn't sound so bad," admitted Draco.
"NOW!" declared one of the teachers.
FWUMPF!
Every student suddenly found themselves wiping pie off their face.
There was a brief laugh and the cat-image faded away.
"Why were we even doing that?" grumbled Lucius Malfoy, tossing back a gulp of a particularly strong alcoholic beverage after asking the question.
"Because our Defense teacher brought to me evidence that an Elder had somehow manipulated the timestream already," said Dumbledore. "We did go over this before, and that it would be of benefit to caution the children here not to accept any offers from either the Fae of either Court or of Elder Things that might be interested."
"I don't see why they would," said Malfoy, who could admit that while he would never normally be sitting amicably with the likes of his current company - they did indeed have some fine brews in their larder.
Snape set his own glass firmly down on the table. "It's the Dark Mark among other things. There are reasons soul-magic is actively discouraged and filed under the category of Things Best Undisturbed. There are precedents. The Fall of Ur, for example. Even though the Unspeakables at the Ministry meddle in some of those forces - there are borders even they do not cross."
-note-
(in case anyone was curious, i was thinking that having Draco turning into a rabbit furry would be sufficient with genderbending him and having his family put Draco under lock and key (and out of the series) was a second possibility.) Just as well i'm not going there, i suppose. i'm pretty sure someone's done something similar somewhere in the stacks of HP fanfics.