El Tigre copyright Jorge Gutierrez and Sandra Equihua
The MASK copyright Dark Horse Comics/New Line Cinema
The MASK of Miracle City
Chapter 07: Dr. Chipotle Jr.
Mask Was Speeding Downtown, When He Passed By a Taco Hut.
Mask Stopped, Ran In Reverse And Stared At The Hut.
"TACOS!
I LOOOOOOOOVE TACOS.
Mask Speeds In a Blurr Of Motion To The Hut.
"Welcome To "Taco Belle", May I Take Your Order, Sir.
"YES!
I WOuld Like 75 Soft Tacos, EXTRA SPICY And, 50 ROOT BEERS TO GO WITH IT!
The Employe Stared At Him As She Typed The Order.
"O-Kay, That All Comes at "$5800.78"...Plus Tax.
Will You Be Paying With Cash, Check or Credit?
Mask Quick Changes Into General Custard And Blows a Bugle.
{DUH DUH DUH DUH-DUH-DUUUUUUUUH!}
"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE...It.
"Ha...funny.
The Employe Slid The Card And Gave Mask His Order.
Mask Carried His Load Of Food To a Table, Ready To GET HIS GRUB ON.
At The Same Time, Dr. Chipotle Jr. And His Guacamole Monster Were Running Down The Street, Holding Bags Of Cash From a Bank They Robbed.
"HA! HA! HA! HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Dr. Chipotle Jr. Has Been Most Sucessful Today.
Father Will Be So Proud Of Me, That I have Robbed FIVE BANKS IN A ROW!
The Monster Laughed.
Meanwhile, Back At The Taco Hut.
"Ooooooh...I Am Going To Savor EVERY BIT OF THIS!
Chipotle Jr. Ran By AT That Moment The Guacamole Monster Steps On Mask's Table, Destroying His Lunch.
As Mask Stood Frozen At What Just Happened He Wipes Off The Taco Sause And Stares At The Camera.
"In Case You Realise, Folks...THIS MEANS WAR!
Mask Runs After Chipotle Jr.
Then, He Comes Back, Staring At The Camera.
"See How I Made a LOONEY TOONS Reference, Just Now?
Mask Chases After Chipotle Jr.
Chipotle Jr. And The Guacamole Monster Ran Down the Street.
"NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW!
The Guacamole Monster Stops.
"Why Did You Stop?
The Monster Points At a Giant Road Block.
Mask Then Appears From Behind, Dressed In a Police Uniform.
"Okay, Licence, Please.
"What?
"I SAID: LICENCE, PLEASE!
"I DON'T HAVE ANY-
"NO LICENCE!
Mask Leaps Up To Chipotle Jr.
"DO You Mean To Tell Me That Your Are Terrorising the City With a Guacamole Monster Without a "TERRORISE-THE-CITY-WITH-A-FOOD-BASED-MONSTER" Licence?
"Uhhh...No?
Mask Brings Out a Notebook.
"Name?
"Doctor Chipotle Junior.
"Dr. Chili Fries...
"CHIPOTLE!
"Isn't That What I Said?
"NO!, You Said "Chili Fries"!
"OOOH...I WOULD JUST LOVE SOME!
Tell Me, Do You Have a CHILI FRIES MONSTER, Somewhere?
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
"Okay...
ONE TICKET FOR SPEEDING.
ONE TICKET FOR DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY ONE TICKET FOR IDENTITY CRISIS ONE TICKET FOR BEING THAT UGLY ONE TICKET FOR USING A GUACAMOLE MONSTER "WITHOUT-THE-SMARTS-TO-RUN-A-LITTLE-RED-WAGON."
"HEY!, WAIT A MINUTE!
Mask Stares Down At Chipotle.
"No, YOU LISTEN TO ME!
You Make Me Sick, So Just STAY RIGHT THERE AND DON'T MOVE!
Chipotle Jr. Freezes.
"Gee, Officer...
How Long Do I Have To Stay Here?
"TIL YA' GET A CLUE, SHORTY!
HA! HA! HA! HAAAAAAAAA!
Mask Changes Back To Normal And Speeds Around.
Chipotle Jr. Realises He's Been Tricked, And Gets Angry.
"Ooooooh...IT'S THAT IDIOT, THE MASK!
GUACAMOLE MONSTER, CRUSH HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!
The Monster Punches The Mask Hard.
When He Removes His Fist, There Is Nothing There.
"WHAT!
WHERE IS HIS SPLATTERED REMAINS!
Then, a Whistle Is Heard.
Chipotle Jr. Looks And Sees a Girl With Blue Hair And Red Goggles.
"Hey There, Cutey.
Chipotle Jr. Go GA-GA.
He Runs And Hold The Girl In His Arms.
"Oh, Frida...My Love.
Your Radiant Beauty Is Un-Comparable...
Let Us Run Away Together And PLOT OUR REVENGE ON THE CITY.
Chipotle Jr. Then Tries To Kiss "Her."
"Awww...I Bet You Say That To All The BLUE HAIRED, GOGGLE HEADED GIRLS.
Chipotle Jr. Looks To See a Green Face...It Was THE MASK!
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mask Give Chipotle Jr a "Bugs Bunny" Kiss.
Chipotle Jr. Spits Repeatedly As Mask Laughs At Him.
"SUCKER!
Mask Spins Around, Removing The Frida Costume And Wig.
"SOMEBODY STOP ME!
Chipotle Jr. Growls At Mask.
"Ohhh, Cheer Up Dr. Chimpanzee.
"CHI-POT-LE! Screamed Chipotle, With "Subtitles"
"Whatever, Cheeta.
Chipotle Jr's Face Turnes Several Shades Of Red.
"GUACAMOLE MONSTER, FINISH HIM!
The Monster Approaches Mask.
Mask Holds Up a Stop Sign, The Monster Stops.
Mask Then Quick Changes Into a French Chef.
"TODAY, ON "STEEL CHEF"
WE WILL INSTRUCT ON "1001 DIFERENT WAYS TO PREPARE GUACAMOLE"...
Today, WIll Will Do WAY #87...First, You Have To WHIP IT INTO SHAPE.
Mask Takes Out a Mallet.
"HA!, IT TOO SMALL. Said Chipotle.
Mask Grins He Reaches for a Button With a Caption That Read "In Case Of Giant Monster"
Mask Presses The Button, The Mallet Increaced In Size.
Mask Then Starts Wacking The Guacamole Monster Repeatedly.
Mask Breifly Pauses.
"For Those Of You At Home...
It Sometimes Help For You To Pretend The Guacamole Your Beating Is Someone Your Don't Like.
An Annoying Neighbor a Cousin That Visits Twice a Week That Teacher That Gave You Detention For Chewing Gum In Class That Guy That Borrowed Money From You, But Never Payed Your Back Or, (And My Personal Favorite I Might Add) Your FIRST HUSBAND or WIFE.
Mask Continues To Wack the Monster Until It's Flattened.
"Now, AFter Beating The Guacamole Senseless.
Your Now Ready To Mix It Up.
Mask Takes Out a Giant Blender And Tosses The Guacamole Monster In It.
He Turns The Dial To "TAZ-MANIA" And Start's Spinning The Monster.
Soon, The Bell Rings And The Monster Is Spit Out.
The Guacamole Monster Is Now a Puddle of Goo Mask Zips Around And Molds It Into a Birthday Cake.
"Now, For The Candles.
Mask Places Lit Sticks Of TNT On The Monster/Cake.
They Explode, Plattering Guacamole All Over The City.
"PERFECTO!
ZEE MANIFIQUE.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, GREEN HEAD!
YOU...WILL...PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Mask Zips To Him.
"You Take CASH or CHECK?
Chipotle Wailed In Anger.
Mask Then Takes Out a Tommy Gun-Like Weapon.
Only, It Has The Caption "Churro Blaster 5000" ON It.
"no...No...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
NOT CURROS!, I AM ALERGIC THE CHURROS!
"Hasta La Vista, Shorty. Said Mask, In a Terminator Voice
Mask Begins Shooting Churros At Chipotle Jr, Who Runs Off Screaming.
Mask Chases Chipotle All Over Town, Until He Corners Him In An Alley.
His Back Against The Wall, Chipotle Is AT The Mercy Of The Mask.
"No, Please...DON'T!
Mask Edges Closer He Fires a Shot, But Nothing Happens.
"Oh, COME ON!
I CAN'T BE OUT!
Mask Looks AT a Meter On the Gun.
It Read: "Yes, Idiot...Your Out."
Mask Smiles.
He Throws The Gun Away.
"No Problem...
I Still Have ONE MORE SURPRISE.
Mask Reaches Into His Coat.
Chipotle Jr Shivers In Fear.
Mask Pulls Out...a Christmas Present.
"Here You Are.
Chipotle Takes The Present He Reads The Card Attatches To It.
'To: Chilly Willy.
From: The Mask.'
"CHIIIIIIIIIIIII-
Awww, Forget It.
Chipotle Jr Notice The Box Is Ticking.
"Word Of Advice: It's NOT A CLOCK.
The Present Explodes Shooting Chipotle Jr Into The Air.
"!
Chipotle Jr. Crashes Into a Factory.
a CHURRO FACTORY.
"!
Mask Laughs Hystericly.
"Ooooooh...SOMEBODY STOP ME!
Mask Then Spins Into a Tornado And Races Off Into The City.
Mask Then Returns Briefly.
"And The Moral Of The Story Is This Folk: Don't Mess With Mask's Tacos.
HA! HA!
Mask Tornado Spins Away Into The City.