CHAPTER NINE

"Now drink your tea and turn the cup upside-down on its saucer. When the last of the tea has drained away, give it to your partner," Ronaldo commanded.

Steven and Connie obediently drank their tea and swapped cups. "So, what do you see in mine?" Connie asked.

Steven looked down at the mushy fry bits in the bottom of the cup. They very clearly formed a sword, and he told her as much. "I believe that means you're destined to be really good at fighting with a sword," he deduced, flicking through the book in front of him. "What about mine?"

Connie held it out to him and he peered down at the diamond in the bottom of the cup. "I don't think we need any help interpreting this," she commented.

"I'll be the judge of that." Ronaldo swept over and grabbed the cup from her, then gasped theatrically and dropped it. "Gasp! My poor boy, you have… the Sneople!"

"That was obviously a diamond," Connie said with disdain. "And did you just actually say the word 'gasp'?"

"Young lady!" Ronaldo said pompously. "You clearly have no regard for the truth! Snake people, or "sneople", have infiltrated the highest levels of the Ministry For Magic." He adjusted his glasses and leaned in closer. "In fact, it's rumored that He-who-shall-not-be-named, is, in fact himself, a snake person, or "snerson"!"

"I know," Connie said flatly. "I read the books."

Thankfully, before the argument could progress any further, the bell rang. Steven grabbed his book and shoved it into his cheeseburger backpack and walked out of the tower, straight through Lars. "Hey!" Lars objected. "Watch where you're going!"

"Sorry Lars," Steven apologized, hurrying on.

He jumped onto a passing staircase and stepped behind a tapestry. As he did so, Pearl ran past, holding a pair of socks aloft. "Master has given Pearl socks! Pearl is a free Pearl!"

He ignored her and carried on walking until he reached the portrait of Rose Quartz. The figure sat serenely, her eyes closed… snoring softly. Steven cleared his throat loudly. "Ahem!"

"Oh, hello Steven." His mother opened her eyes and smiled at him. "You've grown so much since I last saw you."

Steven shrugged awkwardly. "I turned someone into a zombie and almost died trying to get him home. I guess realizing how fragile life is finally made me grow up."

"Oh, is that how it works?" Rose looked surprised to hear this. "I thought humans just called that puberty."

"I suppose it was kinda similar," Steven conceded. "Anyway, can I come in?"

"What's the password?" Rose asked.

"If every pork chop were perfect," he answered at once.

Rose smiled and the portrait slid aside. "Goodbye, Steven. It was nice talking to you again."

"Bye mom." He stepped into the common room and looked around, and smiled softly when he saw Peridot sat in front of the fireplace, writing in her diary.

"-Date 9 22 2. I told Steven about the gem mutants, he took it better than I expected," she muttered as she scribbled away.

"Hi, Peridot," he interrupted, tapping her on the shoulder. She slowly turned around to face him, and the smile slid off of his face when he saw the diamond pupils in her eyes. "Wha-?"

With surprising speed, she leapt to her feet, grabbed the collar of his robes and slammed him against the wall. "I'm coming for you, Rose Quartz," she said in the voice of Yellow Diamond. "And when I-"

And then suddenly he was on his back in a dim, rocky tunnel, and there was a ringing pain at the side of his head. He winced and slowly sat up, and then froze rigid as he heard the clattering of too many feet on stone, and something further down the tunnel moved. He scrambled to his feet-

And then once again, he was on his back, but this time, he was in his bed at his father's house. He blinked up at the ceiling, feeling slightly disorientated, and then rolled over to look at time on his phone, where he discovered that he'd managed to sleep for exactly forty minutes. "Aww, come on!" he whined, thumping his pillows in frustration. He flopped back down and screwed his eyes shut. "Gotta go to sleep, gotta go to sleep… how am I supposed to do the ceremony if I don't get any sleep!?"

I bet Peridot's happy about that.

Connie's voice echoed in his head and his eyes snapped open again when he finally figured out what had been bothering him. Peridot wasn't happy about that. Because she didn't know.

He frowned to himself, trying to figure out if it actually mattered. He hadn't told her why he wanted to talk to Garnet or why he was staying at his dad's, but he'd been gone for more than an hour now, so it was possible the other gems had mentioned it, right? True, they hadn't been around when he and Peridot had returned after their most-definitely-not-a-date, but they knew he was staying at his dad's, so maybe they'd come out of the Temple and explain things to her? "Stop obsessing over it and go back to sleep," he said aloud to himself. "Maybe not back into the freaky Harry Potter dream though."

He closed his eyes again, trying to pretend he'd convinced himself everything was fine, but it was too late. His brain refused to sit down and shut up and let him sleep again. Instead, it kept bringing up the niggling worry that if Peridot didn't know about the planned room ceremony, she might think that it was her fault he wasn't sleeping at home. Which was… technically true, actually. Surely it wouldn't bother her though? She'd just be glad to be out of the bathroom, right? "Shut up brain," he muttered to himself. "There is no problem here. Go to sleep. I'll even accept the freaky Harry Potter dream if you wanna go there again." Actually, he wouldn't mind that. Until Peridot had been possessed and he'd suddenly wound up what appeared to be the Kindergarten Of Secrets, it had been kinda fun.

He rolled over and closed his eyes, trying to imagine himself back there. Peridot-as-Ginny, writing in her cursed diary in the Gryffindor common room, this time with a lot less Yellow Diamond possession. Maybe he could just skip forward to the latter half of book six, where the kissing began. And ignore the bit after that, where Snape killed Dumbledore, where the starring roles would probably be played by his mom and Pink Diamond. He let out a small snort of laughter at that thought, but the smile quickly slid off of his face as the Kindergarten Of Secrets popped into his head again. Somehow that bit just felt extra weird, and that was taking into account the whole general weirdness of the dream in the first place.

Still. It probably wasn't important.

xxx

Peridot froze. It can't see me if I don't move, she thought irrationally as she stared up at the enormous, dark, furry creature that seemed to be made entirely out of legs and eyes, all of which seemed to be fixed upon her. Of course, she knew that wasn't true, and sure enough, it lunged towards her with a vicious snarl. She squeaked in alarm and leapt back out of the room, lunging desperately for the hand pad, but her brief delay had cost her, and before the door could close completely, several of the corrupted gem's spidery limbs shot through the gap and began forcing it back open. Peridot didn't wait to see if it would succeed, she turned and ran as fast as she could.

Obsidian, she thought, picturing the glassy black gem in the middle of the corrupted gem's face as she sprinted back towards the control room. Back on Homeworld, Obsidians were medics. Their healing powers weren't quite the same as Rose Quartz gems, but they were still effective. Well, except for this one, which was going to kill her instead, unless she managed to find some metal she could use to fight back. The panel Steven had pulled off of the computer a few years earlier blipped into her mind, and she recalled seeing it on the floor a few minutes ago, still where he'd left it. It wasn't much, but it would have to do.

She almost ran straight past the turning, which had appeared sooner than she expected, forcing her to skid to a halt and backtrack, but before she'd gone more than a few paces, she realized it was the wrong way. It wasn't one of the tunnels Homeworld had built, this one had been clawed out of the rock, presumably by the corruption itself, and she had no idea where it went or whether it was even still passable. She couldn't risk running into a possible dead end, so she spun around at once and ran back the way she'd just come, desperately hoping the monster had gone another way.

It hadn't. As soon as she shot out of the tunnel, it charged at her and lashed out with one of its many legs, sending her flying down the hallway. She slammed painfully into a wall and fell to the ground, briefly stunned. When she came to, head pounding, she made to stand up and almost fell over because for some reason, she was already on her feet. Behind her, the monster roared in triumph and began to stalk lazily towards her, taking its time, apparently sensing her weakness and she turned and stumbled away on wobbly legs.

Had it thrown her past the right turning? She pictured the map in her head and tried to work out where she was, but it was a little difficult when the whole tunnel was spinning around her. She blinked a few times and finally everything stabilized and she spotted the correct turning up ahead. Putting on a little more speed, she darted into the entrance, bounced off the wall and almost fell over again. Behind her, she heard the clattering of legs on stone increase in tempo as the monster picked up speed too. Stay calm, she told herself grimly, listening to the noises as it tried to follow her. It seemed to be having trouble changing direction, so she immediately plotted a new route back to the control room, one that was slightly longer but had a lot more turnings.

For the next few minutes, she raced along tunnels, almost making herself dizzy as she twisted and turned and backtracked upon herself, but her plan seemed to be working and she could hear the sounds of the corruption fading into the distance. And then finally, she spotted the sickly green glow of the control room up ahead and her heart soared with relief. Soon she'd be out of here, and she could go back to the house and tell the Crystal Gems-

Without warning, something wrapped around her ankles and yanked tight, and she hit the ground with a whump that knocked all the air out of her. Her chin hit the floor and she almost bit her tongue in half. For a split second she lay there, disorientated, wondering what had just happened, then she felt herself being dragged backwards. She managed to roll over and spotted what appeared to be sticky cords wrapped around her ankles. And further down the tunnel stood the corrupted gem, reeling the cord into its abdomen like a fisherman with a particularly tasty catch. It had been toying with her, she realized with dismay, it had known where she was headed all along and taken a different route to catch up and ensnare her. And as soon as it was close enough, it would probably bite her head off with its razor-sharp teeth.

She pawed at the ground, trying to find something to grab hold of or fight back with, but there was nothing but grit and dust beneath her fingertips. Lots of grit. It was a good thing she was wearing jeans, she randomly thought, then realized how silly it was to be concerned about road rash when she was about to die-

Jeans! They weren't part of her light projected body! Immediately she kicked off her shoes, reached down and unbuttoned her fly and struggled out her jeans, holding onto the waistband for as long as possible. At the last moment, she let go, and the monster fell backwards, and before it could recover, she was off again. The power source appeared up ahead, and without altering her speed, she let herself drop to the ground and skidded beneath the low-hanging vein before dropping the few feet to the ground, where she landed on her ass with a painful thump. But there was no time to stop and lick her wounds, she could hear the corruption's roars of frustration getting louder behind her. Thankfully, the panel was just a short distance away, and using her metal powers, she floated it over towards her as she struggled back to her feet, and half-climbed, half-fell onto it. Then, holding on as tightly as she could, she flew out of the control room and back up to the slope, just as the power source exploded behind her.

She shot out of the tunnel like a rocket and almost crashed into a cliff, but managed to put the brakes on just in time, and floated back down to ground level where she immediately hid behind a couple of large rocks. She quickly scanned the floor of the Kindergarten in the twilight until she spotted the broken injector drill that had fallen on her a few years previously, then she settled down and waited.

She didn't have to wait for long. Only a few seconds later, the long legs of the corrupted gem poked out of the hole in the ground and scrabbled around for purchase. As soon as it was securely anchored, the bloated body rose up out of the ground, and it looked around with its many eyes for some sign of her.

"Here's a sign, you overgrown tarantula!" she hissed under her breath. And before it could react, the broken legs of the injector whizzed through the air and impaled it in three different places. It let out an unearthly howl, and exploded into black smoke. When the smoke cleared, Peridot peeped out of her hiding place, just to make sure it really had been defeated, and then limped forward and bubbled it. "Some medic you are," she grumbled, and made to tap the top. Then she paused. Where on Earth would the bubble even go? The beach house didn't feel much like home, so she couldn't be sure it would actually safely arrive there and not on the hillside where the barn had been. For a brief moment she entertained the thought of builders accidentally popping the bubble and running away screaming and demanding their money back from Andy, but the far more sensible part of her pointed out that Steven might not be very happy with her if she deliberately sicced a corrupted gem upon his uncle, so she sighed, gingerly held the bubble and began limping slowly towards the warp pad.

She was just a few steps away when the warp pad suddenly lit up, and when the light faded, she was surprised to see Steven standing there. "Peridot! Are you all right!?"

"What are you doing here?" she asked, ignoring his, quite frankly, rather stupid question. "You're supposed to be asleep."

"I had a weird dream where I was suddenly in a tunnel in the Kindergarten," he rapidly explained. "It was bothering me and I decided to come and check on you and you weren't at the house and I thought maybe you might be here."

"What?" Peridot said blankly, not understanding a word he was saying. Then, deciding it didn't really matter, she shook her head and immediately wished she hadn't. "Ow."

Steven was by her side at once. "What happened?" he asked, his eyes flickering down to the bubble in her hands. "Why are you even here?"

"Corrupted gem," Peridot said woodenly, holding out the bubble so he could see it more closely. "I… I don't know where it'll go."

"Let me." He took the bubble and tapped it, and watched as it vanished. "Come on, we should go back too." He took a step back towards the warp pad and then paused as she stumbled along slowly beside him. "Do you need any help?"

"Please," she admitted, and gratefully leant against him as he swept her up into his arms and strode the few paces to the warp pad, eager to leave the oppressive site. Glancing around in the darkness, Peridot had to admit she was beginning to see what the others found so creepy about it.

As soon as they materialized back in the beach house, Steven walked over to the sofa and gently put her down. "Where does it hurt?"

Peridot couldn't help smiling as déjà vu washed over her. Hadn't they just had this conversation a few days ago? "Everywhere," she said again. "I suppose I should've mentioned that before, we could've warped straight to your mothers fountain."

"Um, yeah." Steven cleared his throat self-consciously and sat down next to her. "Actually, I have an idea," he said, beginning to blush. "Um, a couple of years ago, I let Connie drink from my juice carton, and it healed her eyes, so I was thinking…" He blushed harder. "Can I kiss you?"

"What?" Peridot stared back at him with wide, startled eyes. That was a question she'd never imagined him asking. OK, that was a lie, that was a question she always imagined him asking, she just never imagined him asking it anywhere other than in her deepest fantasies. Just how hard had she hit her head? She reached up and touched the side of her head and winced at the sickly jolt of pain that shot through her. "Ow."

"It was the most pleasant way I could think of to say 'may I spit in your mouth'", Steven quickly backpeddled. "Ingesting it seems to work differently, so I thought…"

"Oh." She tried not to look as disappointed as she felt, reminding herself that he was still offering to kiss her. "Then yes, you may kiss me."

"OK!" Steven squeaked. He licked his lips and took a deep breath to steady his nerves, then gently cupped her face and leaned forward. Her eyes fluttered closed and her lips parted and choirs of angels sang in his head because holy shit this is actually happening, I'm really going to kiss Peridot! And her lips were softer and sweeter than he could've ever possibly dreamed and he knew at once that he'd completely fallen for her.

Meanwhile, Peridot shoved the fact that he was only doing it to heal her back into the far recesses of her mind so that she could concentrate on memorizing every detail to cheer herself up with when she was alone again. Which, knowing her luck, would be in twenty seconds time when he noticed it had worked and left to go back to his father's house again.

Finally, reluctantly, Steven broke the kiss and sat back, noting with satisfaction that the cuts and bruises on her body had healed. "There. All bet-" He stopped abruptly when a tear rolled down her cheek. "Peridot?"

"What?" she snapped, a little more harshly than she'd intended.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes. Fine. Never better." She quickly wiped her face and folded her arms defensively. "You can go away again now."

Steven sighed, guessing at once what was bothering her. "I forgot to tell you," he said quietly. "The gems agreed to try the room ceremony again tomorrow morning, and I wanted to stay at my dads so I could be sure I'd get a good night's sleep so it would work."

"Oh." Peridot bit her lip, suddenly feeling very silly. "I-I see. Then um, then you really should go. I'm sorry to have disturbed you."

"It wasn't your fault," he tried to reassure her. "I think I must have ended up in your body for a moment when you hit your head, and it woke me up."

"Sorry," Peridot said again, but Steven was already shaking his head.

"It's not your fault I lost control of my dream powers," he said firmly. Then he paused. "But why were you even in the Kindergarten in the first place?"

Peridot flushed and turned away. "You really want to know?"

"Uh-huh," he said at once.

"I thought… maybe I could live there," she admitted.

"What!?" Steven jumped to his feet, scandalized. "But you can't! It's dangerous and creepy and-"

"I know!" Peridot interrupted. "But we have to face facts, Steven, this isn't working!" She jumped up as well and waved around at the interior of the beach house. "There simply isn't space for both of us here!"

"The ceremony-" Steven began again.

"Might not work," Peridot finished. "You, Amethyst and Pearl couldn't concentrate last time, what are the odds that all three of you will be able to manage it this time? And what happens then? Are we going to keep storing my possessions in the Temple, where I can't get to then? Am I going to keep living in your bathroom until you finally pass out from complete exhaustion!?" She shook her head vehemently. "Andy's already sold the land the barn was on, so I can't go back there. The Kindergarten was the next best place. It has space enough for all my shoes," she added sarcastically.

"But you can't go!" Steven protested wildly. "You just got here! You're a Crystal Gem, you should be here!"

Peridot's eyes flickered over to the note, still hung from the fridge door, and she scowled. "I'm an inconvenience," she corrected him. "The Crystal Gems would be happier if I wasn't here."

"I wouldn't," he said at once.

"You'd certainly sleep better," she pointed out.

"I don't care!" He lunged forward and gripped her hands desperately. "Please, don't go. I love you!"

Peridot opened her mouth, but no words came out. She had been stunned into silence. She closed her mouth, licked her lips and tried again. "I'm sorry, I must have hit my head harder than I thought-"

"I love you," Steven said again.

"Yes. That's what I thought you said." Her legs suddenly felt very unsteady and she sat down heavily on the sofa again, glancing down to see if perhaps her various leg injuries had magically returned, and belatedly noticed that she wasn't wearing any pants. Of course, she'd abandoned them back in the tunnel. She'd find time to be embarrassed about that later, right now she was too busy trying to think clearly. It wasn't the first time he'd said he loved her, of course, but last time, they'd been convinced they were about to die and he wanted her to know in the quickest way possible that he cared about her and didn't blame her. There was no reason for him to say it now. So why was he saying it?

"Because it's true." She hadn't even realized she'd asked the question aloud. "I love you," he said once more.

"Stop saying that," she whispered as it began to dawn on her that he really meant it, and quite possibly not in a platonic way either, which was really interfering with her ability to think rationally.

"I can't, I think I'm stuck." Steven sat down next to her and laughed a little hysterically. "I love you. I can't stop thinking about you. You're brave and smart and curious, and I've loved hanging out with you these past few days, seeing you try new things and coming up with ways to help the team." His laughter quickly died away and he bit his lip and looked hopefully at her, but she seemed to be frozen and he felt his hopes rapidly slipping away. "I-I'm sorry, but I had to tell you. If you just wanna be friends, that's fine, I accept that, and if you want to leave, that's fine too-"

"I love you too," Peridot interrupted. This time it was Steven's turn to freeze. He gulped and opened and shut his mouth a few times, then tried to discreetly pinch his arm, and Peridot laughed. "I love you, Steven," she said again, and suddenly understood why he'd kept repeating it. It just felt so good to finally say the words aloud, and she laughed again, full of joy. "I love you!"

The words finally sunk in, and Steven's eyes lit up with delight. He leaned over and hugged her tightly, his own laughter joining hers. Then he kissed her again, and this time she felt nothing but happiness. "Does that mean you'll stay and give the room ceremony another try?" he asked when they broke apart.

All at once, Peridot felt her good mood beginning to fade away. "Yes… but what if it fails again?" She frowned a little as she spoke. "I don't want to go, but you have to admit, this situation is unsustainable."

"If it fails, we'll try again," Steven said simply. "And again and again and as many times as it takes to make you a room-" He suddenly paused, mid-speech, and flailed his hands as inspiration struck. "Oh! Oh! I've got it!" He leapt to his feet and gestured wildly over at the far wall. "If we can't make you a room in the Temple, we'll make you a room in the house!"

Peridot stared at the wall as well, and a slow smile spread over her face. "It's the perfect solution."

"I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner." Steven narrowed his eyes and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Possibly because of the sleep deprivation."

"Speaking of which…" Peridot stepped in front of him and folded her arms sternly. "You really should return to your father's house and go back to bed."

"Awww." Steven pouted. "I'd much rather stay here and kiss you instead." But he had to admit, she was right. He hadn't thought to leave a note or anything for his dad, and now the adrenaline was wearing off, he was starting to feel the exhaustion creeping up on him again, and as Peridot stretched up on tiptoe to meet his lips, he had to clench his jaw so he wouldn't yawn in her face. "All right, I'll go. And I'll be back first thing in the morning," he promised.

"And… and what happens then?" she asked tentatively.

He tilted his head in confusion. "The… room ceremony? Or building one, whichever."

Peridot shook her head. "No, I meant… what happens with us?"

"Oh." Steven thought for a moment, but his mind had gone blank. Pretty much every single romance film or novel he'd seen or read ended when the couple got together, and they lived happily ever after offscreen. "I don't know," he admitted. "I guess we'll find out."

XXX

And we will find out, because I have sequels planned! A couple of one-shots and one or two longer, plottier ones, and I hope you'll stick around to find out what's in store for the happy couple.