Honestly, I feel like everything I write for this story sucks, is boring, is short, or all of the above. (Feel free to tell me otherwise). I think it has something to do with the gaps between writing sessions. Anyway, I'm back and school has started. It's kinda ironic that I have less work now than I did during the summer.
So, you all voted, with a grand total of…six votes. Three were for Draco v. Sasori, two for the prank, and one for Draco trying to bully Itachi. So here you go!
Thank you to spaztack for suggesting the 'watching' of trouble-prone ninjas.
After getting their wands, it was not unusual to see the two Ravenclaws, Kakuzu and Sasori, in the library with their Hufflepuff friend Itachi. The three of them being more inclined to learning (Konan never left Leader and Nagato's side) as opposed to, say three certain other ninjas *coughcoughHidanTobiDeidaracoughcough*, Leader tasked them with learning everything they could possibly learn with their wands so that they could give the entire group lessons. One fine Tuesday afternoon, while they were all working on various spells, Itachi noticed a certain Slytherin prefect casually stroll by their table and glare at Sasori for the twenty-seventh time since they'd entered the library. He turned to look at Sasori, who, feeling the Uchiha's somehow tangible gaze, looked up.
"That Slytherin prefect has been watching us for some time," Itachi murmured in their native tongue. "Particularly you."
Sasori sighed. "He has made it his life's goal to annoy me," he told the red-eyed boy.
Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Why?" he asked.
"I made him look like the fool he clearly is, and he wants to get even with me," Sasori said shortly.
"Hn," Itachi said, satisfied. He turned back to his work, not bothered. Sasori could handle a fifteen-year-old civilian.
When they left the library, Itachi quickly noticed that he was being tailed rather poorly by three people. He pretended not to notice. Then he heard someone whisper something – a spell probably. Itachi knew he was supposed to lay low, but his shinobi instincts kicked in automatically, and he discreetly sidestepped the spell. He heard another spell whispered, and he sidestepped again. Then he heard an annoyed voice hiss, "You idiots! You couldn't hit a flobberworm if it was lying dead in front of you!"
There was another spell shot. This one was better aimed than the other two, and Itachi was forced to whip around and cast a shielding charm.
"So the little 'Puff has done his homework?" Itachi kept his face impassive as the Slytherin prefect who had been watching Sasori came out with two larger boys.
"Who are you and what do you want?" Itachi asked, keeping his shielding charm up.
"I'm Draco Malfoy, and these are Crabbe and Goyle. I want you to be my messenger, 'Puff," the prefect said.
"Does being a messenger involve shooting spells at me?" Itachi asked. "Is it necessary for me to report to a teacher that you have attacked me within the walls of the school?"
Malfoy's eyes narrowed. "You won't if you know what's good for you," he said, leveling his wand at Itachi. "Crabbe, Goyle, keep watch. This shouldn't take long."
Itachi kept his shield up warily. "If you're just asking questions, why are our wands out?"
"Speak with respect to me, little 'Puff," Malfoy said. "Now, I've noticed that you're close to a certain Ravenclaw named Sasori."
"Hm?" Itachi raised an eyebrow.
"I want you to bring a message to him. Tell him to meet me in the Quidditch pitch after dinner tonight. We have a score to settle," Malfoy said.
Civilians here are very childish, Itachi decided as he listened to Malfoy's request. A fifteen-year-old wanting to settle a score with an eleven-year-old? Childish indeed, not to mention quite foolish. What is there stopping me from reporting him? "Hn," he said out loud.
"Is than an affirmative?" Malfoy asked.
"Yes, sir," Itachi said after a moment.
"Don't think of informing anyone else but Sasori," Malfoy said as he motioned for Crabbe and Goyle to come back. "I'll have people watching you."
If they all tail as poorly as you, it'll be of no consequence to me, Itachi thought. "I understand, sir," he said. He allowed the shield spell to dissipate before turning to leave.
The first thing Itachi did was inform Leader. He did it through Konan, who slipped a note to Leader via her paper. During their afternoon meeting, this time held on top of the Ravenclaw tower with a couple of invisibility illusions, Leader made the announcement.
"Sasori, you've been challenged by a certain Slytherin prefect to, and I quote Itachi, 'settle a score'. You are to meet him in the Quidditch pitch after dinner," Leader said. "What did you do this time?"
"Nothing," Sasori said with a sigh. "Am I to accept this challenge?"
Leader thought for a moment. Then he said, "Yes. Don't tell anyone. We will accompany you secretly to make sure he doesn't pull anything that will require the revelation of your shinobi skills."
Sasori nodded. "Understood, sir."
"Bash his f- head in," Hidan advised. "Lord Jashin looks with f- favor on those who make their victims suffer."
"Thank you, Hidan, for bringing me to the other point of this meeting," Leader said. Nodding to Itachi, he said, "Itachi here has done a marvelous job of keeping Tobi out of trouble. Since Tobi isn't the only Akatsuki member who is prone to causing trouble, I'm going to arrange other 'watchers'. Kisame, since you're in the same house as Hidan, you're going to be his watcher."
"So I've just gotta keep our resident Jashinist under control? No problem, Leader, sir," Kisame said, grinning toothily. "Am I under any restraints?"
"Yeah," said Leader. "No blood. Civilian-level physical violence is allowed, but nothing beyond that."
"Sure thing, Leader, sir," Kisame said.
"Mind you, that means keeping his mouth under control," Leader warned.
"Yes, sir," Kisame said. "Oh, I'm going to have fun with this…"
l l l
After dinner, Sasori and the rest of Akatsuki headed out to the Quidditch pitch. The others hid themselves among the bleachers while Sasori went out to wait. And wait. And wait.
Is the brat going to show or not? Sasori wondered as he impatiently tapped his foot. The fact that Akasuna no Sasori absolutely loathed waiting was well known to the select few who had the fortune (or misfortune) of knowing him. When half an hour had passed, Sasori turned to head in.
"Danna, you're giving up, un?" Deidara asked as he hopped down to his partner.
"The brat's not going to come," Sasori said. "He obviously wants me to come across something tonight, and I'm not going to fall for it." Deidara frowned when he heard Sasori refer to Draco as a brat.
"Well, then," Leader said as he jumped out onto the Quidditch field. "This was useless. While we're here, I guess we can practice with those brooms. Kisame, Deidara, you guys fly more often than we do. Where're the brooms kept?" Kisame dutifully dragged Hidan with him as he fetched the brooms.
When everyone was in the air, Sasori floated his broom slowly out of Tobi's way to avoid being killed. He sighed. He might be from the Land of Wind, but he was a shinobi who liked having both feet on the ground.
"Hey, Danna, un!"
Sasori looked up as Deidara skidded to a stop in front of him. "Hello, brat. Come to tease me about my aversion to flight?"
"Well, I could, un, but I was actually going to talk to you about that prefect," Deidara said.
"What about him?" Sasori asked. "He's spoiled, childish, and possibly more of a brat than you."
"…That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about, un," Deidara said. "Why does he get to have the title 'brat' too? I'm your brat, un!"
Sasori raised an eyebrow. "You are upset because I'm giving Draco the same derogatory nickname as you?"
Deidara colored slightly. "No, un! It's just…I'm your brat, not him. He's just an annoying civilian."
"…I wasn't aware that you considered yourself mine, brat," Sasori said. "It won't work between us, you know. I'm almost twice your age, despite our looks, and even though you do quite a good job at looking feminine, I have no romantic interest in you whatsoever."
Deidara turned red. "That's- that's not what I meant, un!" he exclaimed hotly.
"Really? You seem like a jealous girl if you ask me," Sasori said bluntly.
Deidara flushed more before turning and flying away. Sasori just chuckled, amused. "Silly brat," he called after him. "I know what you mean. No civilian can replace a competent shinobi partner." He heard Deidara sigh with relief, though the embarrassed blonde did not respond to him.
After a half hour of waiting, Konan alerted everyone that three older students were approaching. "Finally," Sasori said. "The prat took long enough."
"Everybody, take cover," Yahiko ordered. "These challengers may be civilians, but they most certainly will be able to cause trouble." Everyone but Sasori hid in the stands while Zetsu put away the brooms.
"I've been waiting for a long time," Sasori remarked when Draco and his two minions came into view.
"So you actually showed?" Draco asked.
"Clearly," Sasori said. "Prat."
"What did you just call me?" Draco asked, raising his voice slightly.
"Prat. A friend of mine dislikes me calling you brat, so you are prat," Sasori said. "How will this challenge arranged?"
"A wizard's duel, of course," Draco said haughtily. "All matters of honor are to be settled in a duel."
"Wonderful," Sasori said. "What do we do?"
"I forgot you're just a first year," Draco snorted. "You bow, and then we duel."
"With wands?" Sasori asked.
"What else?" Draco asked. "Bow." The two bowed. "And now we duel. Expelliarmus!"
Sasori dodged. "Incendio," he muttered, concentrating his chakra into his wand. A stream of fire flew at Draco.
"Protego!" Draco answered. "Confringo!"
Sasori leaped out of the way as three great balls of fire hit the place where he'd been standing. "Diffindo!" Sasori body-flickered behind Draco, sending a severing charm at him.
Draco didn't react in time, and was cut by the low-level offensive spell. "Serpensortia!" he shouted angrily.
Sasori's eyes widened slightly as a snake flew at him. So civilians at this one's pathetic level could summon animals. A quick twitch of a chakra string sent the snake back at Draco. Draco responded by levitating the snake and sending back at Sasori. Sasori was quick to lop off its head with a hidden kunai. "Locomotor Mortis!" the de-aged puppet master said, flicking his wand. Draco shielded against the spell and sent a "Furnuculus" at Sasori.
"This is getting tiresome," Sasori remarked as he dodged. "Can't we settle this with a spar or something? Dodging may be an art, but it is more the brat's style than mine."
"Confundo!" Draco answered. Sasori dodged again, and body-flickered again behind the prefect.
"Stupefy," he muttered. Draco fell, unconscious. "I win."
At that, Yahiko's orange head popped up. "Ok, guys, let's cover this up! Knock out the other two, and, um…make it look like they passed out from drinking too much sake!" Kakuzu and Hidan were more than happy to oblige.
"That was completely pointless," Sasori said as Deidara joined him.
"Well, you sure showed him, un," Deidara said.
"I suppose. But it was still pointless. I could be researching magic theory right now."
Deidara blinked. "I guess, un."
"Zetsu, get me that weird alcoholic drink the civilians call 'Fire whiskey'," Yahiko ordered. Zetsu sank into the ground and returned a few minutes later with a full box of bottles. "Good. Now make them drink some of it, and then knock the stuff around to make it look like they got into a fight and passed out here."
When all was said and done, the Akatsuki left, with Hidan stealing a bottle of the stuff and Itachi contemplating how to take the Confringo spell and apply it to the Uchiha's Grand Fireball Technique.
The next day, the entire Akatsuki (with, maybe, the exception of Kakuzu and Nagato) tried to hold a straight face when the three Slytherin fifth years staggered into the Great Hall looking shabby and hung-over.
Sasori and Deidara's interactions may be interpreted as pleased.
I am aware that I've been referring to Draco as Draco when I'm writing from Sasori's perspective, and that I'm referring to him as Malfoy when I'm writing from Itachi's. It's because Sasori's more easily annoyed than Itachi, and therefore is referring to him on a more informal first name basis to annoy him. Itachi, on the other hand, if he was speaking Japanese, would be referring to Draco as Malfoy-san because he's politer. Therefore, when he interacts with Draco, he thinks of him on a family name basis.
Got any ideas, comments, or encouraging remarks? Leave a review! Even if you don't, leave a review! Maybe I'll update faster. Who knows? Anyway, the prank is next!