Sorry for the long wait. Junior year is killing me and it's only October. I am going to die during AP/SAT/SAT II/ACT season…gah! But none of you care about my academic life. So as an apology for the long wait, I tried to make this chapter longer. Yes, not including these notes, the chapter is 4,471 words!
Just a side note, I added to the summary. Hopefully now it's more interest-piquing. And just a shout out to spaztack, a guest reviewer, you have the longest, most enthusiastic, idea-filled reviews I've ever gotten in my months here on fanfiction. Virtual instant ramen to you for being so awesome! And of course, virtual ramen to everyone who's reviewed this story. I appreciate each and every one very much and I thank you for taking the time to write them J
And now, what many of you have been waiting for…the prank!
One fine October afternoon, the entire Akatsuki was gathered in the library. Wait…the entire Akatsuki? As in Deidara, Hidan, and Tobi along with Kisame, Kakuzu, Sasori, Itachi, Yahiko, Konan, Nagato, and Zetsu?
It was a special occasion. Zetsu was (finally) going to tell the pranking team (wizard civilians included) Umbridge's schedule so that the color-changing and transfiguring of her office could commence.
The entire gathering of wizards (and one witch) stared at Zetsu. "Is that your natural appearance?" Fred finally asked.
"As in, non-pranked, non-spelled, you were born like that natural?" George clarified.
"Yes," Zetsu said.
The twins looked at each other. "Wicked!" they exclaimed.
Kakuzu coughed impatiently. "Well, Zetsu? Spit it out."
"The professor normally leaves her office to return to her quarters at around eight o'clock, if she doesn't have an appointment," Zetsu said. "From there she goes to bathe, filthy b-, and then reads for an hour before she goes to sleep. Really very dumb and boring."
"And it took you how many weeks to figure this out?" Kakuzu asked.
"You do the math, miser," Zetsu snapped. "I didn't see you out information-gathering."
"Cool. Thanks, man," Lee Jordan said. "So, I see some new faces here. Who are red, orange, and blue?"
"I'm Yahiko," Yahiko said. "These are Konan and Nagato. We're your alibi coordinators, for our people, at least."
"Alibi coordinators, huh?" Fred asked. "Sounds good. Hey, Hermione, did you take care of the communication spell?"
"Yes," Hermione said. "Once I cast it, we will have two hours to project our thoughts onto our left wrists. Look." The genius witch said a long incantation and waved her wand over them all. "Now, um, Harry, think something that you want to say to us all."
"Uh, ok." Harry closed his eyes. "Done."
"Now, everyone, look at your left wrists." To everyone's amazement, in neat letters were the words, Harry Potter: Did it work? Then the words, Hermione Granger: Yes, it did! appeared as well. Then the words, Hidan: This is so Jashin-damn awesome! We're going to kick Umb-'s f- a-!
The entire Akatsuki sweatdropped. "Hidan, you're going to have to censor your thoughts," Konan said.
"Or, better yet, we can just exclude him from the spell," Nagato said.
"I think that's a good idea," Hermione said.
"How do we make the words go away?" Ron asked.
"We just have to project more words," Hermione said.
Itachi Uchiha: Ah. I see. This will be most useful, appeared. Then, Fred Weasley: So when do you all want to do this?
Zetsu: A Friday evening would be a good. She tends to leave earlier on those nights. Everyone nodded. George Weasley: So we are good on what we're doing?
Immediately Hermione recited, "Fred, George, and Lee will distract Peeves. Harry, Ron, and I will take care of the major office work. Deidara, Tobi, and Hidan will distract Filch and Mrs. Norris. Itachi, Kakuzu, and Sasori will get the Marauders Map and watch out for any unexpected trouble. Kisame will watch for anyone coming to Umbridge's office, and Zetsu will watch Umbridge somehow. And Konan, Nagato, and Yahiko will come up with alibis."
"Thank you, Hermione," said Lee. "So, is everyone good for this Friday?"
There was a collective 'yes.'
"Good," said George. "Then we'll all meet here and go from there!"
l l l
That Friday evening, eleven miniature S-rank ninjas and six wizards met in the back corner of the library. When they all had sat down, Harry asked Sasori, "I've been meaning to ask you what you did to make Malfoy look like he wants to rip your head off."
Sasori snorted. "Remember the morning when he and his minions came into the Great Hall hung over, got in a boatload of trouble with Professor McGonagall for underage drinking, theft, general misconduct, and missing curfew, and lost Slytherin six hundred points in one go?" Harry nodded.
"Wait- that was you?!" Lee asked. "Oh my gosh, man, you're bloody brilliant!"
"A true Weasley prankster, this one is," Fred and George agreed.
"That's my danna, un!" Deidara said proudly.
Kakuzu drummed his fingers impatiently. "Are we keeping Hidan out of the communication spell?"
"Yes," Nagato said.
"Alright," said Harry. "Here's the Marauders' Map." Holding his wand on a blank piece of parchment, he said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." A map of Hogwarts appeared. "We are here," Harry told Itachi, Sasori, and Kakuzu. "Umbridge's office is here. All the little labeled dots are people. All you guys have to do is tell us who is where when and what to look out for. If someone comes over here, just tap the map with your wand and say 'Mischief managed' and it will go away."
"Hn," Itachi said with a nod.
"I think we're good," Fred said.
"We'll be on our way, then," said Yahiko, walking away with Konan and Nagato. "Guys, feel free to use your all your skills. Deidara, make sure Hidan and Tobi stay anonymous to Filch."
"What did he say?" asked Ron.
"He said a good luck blessing," Itachi lied.
"Ok, I'm saying the spell. Hidan is staying out of this?" Hermione double-checked.
"Yes," Kakuzu said.
"Ok." Hermione said the incantation and waved her wand. On everyone's wrist appeared, Hermione Granger: All set.
"Good," George said. "Everyone, check the map and disperse!"
l l l
Fred, George, and Lee glanced at the Marauder's Map. "Hm…methinks I see a wee poltergeist named Peeves floating around near the trophy room," Fred said to his teammates.
"Methinks I agree with you," George said with a nod.
"Plan of action?" Lee asked.
"Head out, ambush him, and do a nice Waddiwasi up his nose in honor of our only good Defense teacher," Fred said.
"I like the way you think, brother mine," George said.
"Me too, but in a less archaic way," Lee said. "We're outta here!"
"See you all at the victory party," Fred cheered.
As they headed out to the trophy room, Lee turned to Fred and George. "I never asked you guys why you agreed to let a bunch of first years in on this prank," he remarked.
"I take it you're asking us now?" George asked.
"Yep," Lee said.
"Well, a while ago, Itachi, the one with the black ponytail, caught us scheming in the library," Fred said.
"Unwilling to ruin his first year innocence with lies, we, the brilliant second coming of the Marauders, decided to let him in," George said.
Lee looked at them. "Then why are all his little friends in on it?"
"Well…" Fred looked at George. "Actually, you see, we meant to keep him from squealing, since in his infinite first year innocence, he might have, ah, given away what we were doing."
"He heard us from across the aisle of books, you see," George said, "And we weren't being loud, either."
"Knowing there was something special about him, we took him under our wings," Fred finished.
Lee continued looking at them. "Can they handle not getting caught?" he asked.
"The little buggers are going to be our legacy, you see. You have the original Marauders, bless their eminences' souls, wherever they might be, then you have us, the second coming of the Marauders, and then you have them, spread out nicely throughout the four Houses, the perfect plotters."
"We're going to make sure they liven up this place and make life for certain pink toads and anyone else like said pink toads living hell," Fred said cheerfully.
"You've certainly thought this over," Lee said.
"What else do you expect…" Fred started.
"…From the second coming of their grand eminences, the Marauders?" George finished.
"Nothing less!" Lee said with a grin. "Hey, if I get another tarantula, do you think we can sic it on Umbridge?"
"You, my friend, are brilliant," Fred said. "And now we have arrived at the trophy room. Hang on…"
On their forearms appeared Fred Weasley: Is Peeves still there?
After a moment came the reply. Sasori Akasuna: Yes. Be quick.
The trio looked at each other, silently confirming their plan before heading in. Lee reached to open the door while Fred and George took out their wands. Lee pushed. The door creaked open, and the three walked in.
Fred Weasley: It's too quiet. You sure he's in there?
Sasori Akasuna: Positive. In fact, he's quite close. Nine o'clock, if I have your orientation correct.
"Waddiwasi!" George whispered, firing a ball of lint to his direct left. The ball hit the air, which shimmered to reveal Peeves.
"Aw, drat!" the mischievous spirit cackled. "I was going to wait for you to walk into my traps, but I guess I'll just have to let them loose all at once!"
"PROTEGO!" the three shouted as a barrage of water balloons came flooding down.
Lee Jordan: Think we can keep him busy long enough?
George Weasley: Sure we can! The three of us can play his game easily. After all, we are the second coming of the Marauders. If we couldn't do this, then what do you think they'd think of us?
Kakuzu: That you converse too much when you're engaged in combat.
Deidara: No one asked for your opinion, you old prude, un. Beat him up good, guys, un!
As the water balloons stopped coming, the three looked at each other.
"That's it?" asked Fred.
"Just getting started!" Peeves cackled.
The trio grinned. "Bring it on!" George said with a grin.
l l l
Deidara's four mouths grinned as prepared to wreak havoc. "Ok, Hidan, Tobi, you've got your materials, un?"
"F- yeah, whaddaya expect, blondie?" Hidan said.
Deidara's eyes narrowed. "Don't call me that, un," he growled.
"Blondie," Hidan said snidely. Deidara was about to snap at Hidan when Tobi interrupted him.
"Tobi is a good boy. Tobi has everything!" he said cheerily. "What does Tobi do now?"
Deidara scratched his head. "Well, we could set off some of these dung bombs in that haunted bathroom, un."
"Hell yeah," Hidan said. "I have some f- s- to settle with that chakra b- who haunts that s-hole."
"Fine," Deidara said. "But if she sees you, you're the one answering to Leader, un."
"What-f-ever," Hidan said with a snort. "Come on, blondie, idiot, let's go f- some stuff up."
"I'm the leader of this team, un!" Deidara snapped. "I call the shots."
"Like f- hell you are, blondie," Hidan said.
"Wanna take that to Leader, un?" Deidara demanded. Hidan for once didn't say anything. "Didn't think so, un. We both know that Leader and his new friend could kick your sorry a- any day, un."
"Yours too, f-," Hidan snarled.
"Tobi's ears are bleeding!" Tobi cried. "Tobi is hearing too many bad words!"
"Shut up!" both Gryffindor ninjas snapped at him. Tobi yelped and hid behind a corner. They didn't notice words appearing on their forearms. Tobi: Tobi says help! Tobi is hearing too many bad words from Hidan because Hidan and Deidara are fighting.
A familiar (if shrunken) astral projection appeared. "Leader, sir, un!" Deidara exclaimed. "Er, what brings you here?"
"Technically I'm not here," Leader said. "I want the two of you to behave. You're here to attract Filch's attention, but not to get caught. Am I clear?" Both Deidara and Hidan nodded, though Hidan rolled his eyes and muttered something most likely rude and explicit under his breath. "Good. Carry on." Leader's hologram disappeared.
"Tattle-tale, un," Deidara growled at Tobi.
"Tobi was just being a good boy," Tobi said apologetically.
"Whatever, un," Deidara said. "Here's the bathroom. Let's do this, un! Hidan, set smoke tags on the ceiling. Don't be seen by the chakra girl, un. Tobi, plant the dung bombs in the toilets. Don't be seen either. I'll leave a couple of super low-grade gifts, and then we're good to hide out and make some art, un!"
The three ninjas got to work. Hidan, heeding Leader's orders, kept an eye out for the chakra girl as he climbed up the walls to plant the smoke tags. Tobi teleported from toilet stall to toilet stall, dropping dung bombs into the dishes.
Tobi: Should Tobi flush them?
Deidara thought. Deidara: Yeah, un. Be careful, though. I think I sense chakra in one of the toilets near the end.
Kisame Hoshigaki: So it's not a speech impediment.
Deidara: What, un?
Sasori Akasuna: Your 'un.' It's showing up on this dialogue, and you're not speaking, so it's not a speech impediment.
Kakuzu: Perhaps it's a brain impediment.
Deidara fumed. Deidara: I'll get you for that one, miser, un!
Kakuzu: I'd like to see you try.
Deidara: You just wait! Frustrated, the Iwa pyro crafted a handful of tiny clay ants infused with minimal chakra, enough to make a bang without doing too much damage. He had a feeling that both Leaders wouldn't appreciate having to cover up a blown up bathroom. Deidara: Are you two ready, un?
Tobi: Tobi is ready! Tobi is a good boy. Should Tobi flush the toilets now?
Deidara: Not yet, un. On my mark. Hidan- oh, wait, un. He's not on this. Out loud, Deidara hissed, "Hidan, un!"
"What the f- do you want, heathen blonde?" the Jashinist asked.
"You ready, un?"
"F- yeah," he said. "I'm ready to trigger this s- at any second."
"Cool, un," Deidara whispered. "Let's climb out, and then we can activate everything from outside, un. I'll rig the toilet handles so we can flush them all at the same time from outside, un."
"Tobi can!" Tobi whispered cheerfully.
Deidara wasn't quite sure whether to trust the one-eyed menace, but nodded. "Be careful, un. We don't want to alert the chakra girl."
"Tobi will be quick," Tobi said as he teleported from one stall to the next. A few minutes later, he was ready. "Tobi will teleport us." And before he got an affirmative from either of his teammates, the three disappeared in a swirl of blackness.
l l l
Zetsu was doing was they were best at – stalking. Today, they were stalking a pink toad-like woman. For some reason, Leader-sama was following what Itachi-san had suggested and was taking part in a prank. Zetsu did not see any real value in this, but they did as Leader-sama ordered. That was their purpose.
Today, the pink toad-woman had, as he had predicted, retired early from her office and headed to her rooms. She was really quite boring, Zetsu agreed. She ordered people around, got angry in a most amusing way when they disobeyed or defied her, and in her free time wrote letters, graded papers, and read. She was currently sitting in her room reading a letter from the Ministry of Magic.
There was an explosion in the distance. Zetsu, partially embedded in the ceiling, cocked their head slightly. It seemed that Deidara and his team had done their part.
Deidara: Art is a bang, un!
Sasori Akasuna: Keep dreaming, brat.
Deidara: Someday I'll prove you wrong, my danna.
Hermione Granger: What's a danna?
Sasori Akasuna: It's something of a nickname or a term of endearment.
Hermione Granger: I see.
Tobi: Tobi is a good boy! Tobi made the toilets spit dung!
Zetsu nodded to themselves. Deidara's team had done well.
The toad-woman looked up. "What on earth?" she muttered. "I'm going to have someone's head for this misconduct." She tossed some powder in her fireplace, making the fire turn green, and shouted, "Filch!"
A minute later, the janitor (and his cat) climbed out. Zetsu blinked. This place never ceased to amaze them. For all the wonders of the Chakra Lands, this place had new and intriguing things that ninjas could never imagine. The plants here were great conversationalists. But they were letting their minds wander.
"Filch, do you have any idea what that explosion was?" the toad-woman asked.
"No, ma'am," the janitor answered. "But I will investigate right away."
"Good," the toad-woman said. "Bring the perpetrator to me so that I can make sure he pays his dues."
"I wouldn't do otherwise," the janitor assured her. "Shall I take the Inquisitorial Squad?"
"Do," the toad-woman said. "And be quick. The perpetrator won't hang around.
"Of course," the janitor said. "Mrs. Norris, come." Stepping into the green fire, he said, "Slytherin common room!" and vanished. The toad-woman returned to what she was doing, mumbling about disruptive students and required discipline.
Zetsu pursed their lips and held out their forearm.
Zetsu: Watch out. The janitor is on the move; stupid bastard he is.
l l l
"I still can't believe you got us involved with these young fools," Kakuzu grumbled to Itachi as they watched the Marauder's Map with Sasori.
"It is an educational experience," Itachi said.
"How?" asked Kakuzu.
"We now know that there is a way to make moving maps, that there is a way to silently communicate, and that there are such things as invisibility cloaks," Itachi said.
"The problem is making them," Sasori said. "Sharingan the stuff, and then give me the information when we get back to our dimension, and I'll study them in my workshop." Itachi nodded.
"Well, what do you know? We're going to have trouble," Kakuzu said, looking at his forearm. "That janitor's on the move, says Zetsu. Probably after Deidara and his bunch."
"Probably," Sasori agreed. Sasori Akasuna: Brat, the janitor's on to you. Get out and come back here.
Deidara: Sure, un.
Sasori nodded to himself. "That's taken care of," he said. There was a swirl of blackness, and Tobi, Deidara, and Hidan all appeared.
"Danna, un! You wouldn't believe the artwork we made with that bathroom! The chakra girl freaked out but couldn't find us since Tobi had teleported, un. By the way, Tobi, I can't believe I'm saying this, but good job, un. Your teleporting technique is really handy."
"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi chirped.
"Yeah, yeah, no f- thanks to the guy who f- climbed all over the Jashin-damned ceilings and s-," Hidan grumbled.
"Of course not, you moron," Kakuzu said.
"F- heathen miser," Hidan muttered. "So what the f- is up?"
"Zetsu reports that Filch is on alert," said Itachi. "Just stick with us for now and pretend you're studying. Oh, and Hidan?" The Jashinist turned to him. "Silencio."
Hidan tried to ask what Itachi had done, when he realized that he couldn't speak. He immediately launched into a dramatic, obscene, and somewhat comical mime demanding that Itachi return his voice.
"Absolutely not," Kakuzu answered, guessing what his partner wanted to say. "Is that how it goes, Uchiha? Silencio?"
"It would appear so," Itachi said.
"What's Filch doing, un?" asked Deidara, looking over the map. "He's in the Slytherin common room.
Sasori squinted at the map. "A couple of people are joining him…oh, hey, it's the prat and his gang, and some others."
"How many?" Itachi asked.
"Nine, including the janitor," Sasori said. "Chances are they're looking for whoever blew up the bathroom. Brat, how much damage did you do?"
"Minimal, un," Deidara said.
"What do you define as minimal?" asked Kakuzu.
"Most likely not what you do," Sasori muttered.
Suddenly, Tobi tapped the map rapidly. "Tobi sees them! Tobi knows they will go to the bathroom, so they'll pass Kisame-shark!"
"What?" Itachi leaned over Tobi's shoulder.
"Oh no!" Tobi started to wail. Itachi hastily covered his mouth so the librarian wouldn't come to investigate.
"Hush, Tobi, it'll be alright," Itachi said. "We'll send them a warning, and they can get out of there, ok?"
"Ok!" Tobi said, immediately snapped out of his depression. "Itachi knows best!"
On their forearms appeared Tobi: Kisame-shark, watch out! Tobi saw the meanie and his kitty and their friends coming.
A few minutes passed and there was no response. Kakuzu tried. Kakuzu: Kisame, get your a- out of there- the janitor's coming with a bunch of Slytherins. Then Leader. Yahiko: Hey, Kisame! Are you there? You ok? You need help over there? Hello?
"Shoot, this isn't good," Kakuzu muttered as he arbitrarily knocked Hidan out and propped him in a chair to make him stop his ridiculous, attention-attracting mime.
Itachi turned to Tobi. "You may have to bail them out of there, ok?" Tobi nodded. "Good. Now, if you do, you cannot be seen by Harry, Hermione, and Ron. Do you understand?"
"Yes! Tobi is a good boy! Tobi will not be seen appearing by Harry, Hermione, or Ron," Tobi said, nodding eagerly.
"Don't go yet," Sasori said. "Let's get an assessment of the situation." He leaned over to look at the map.
"Wanna call Leader, sir, un?" Deidara asked.
"Do it," Sasori said, waving him off. Deidara made the hand-signs, and his eyes went blank. As Kakuzu estimated about how long it would take the troublesome Slytherins to reach Kisame, he plugged his ears to block out Deidara's mumbling in their native language.
"Leader, sir, says to send Tobi to warn them, un," Deidara said when he'd snapped out of his trance.
"Hn," said Itachi. "Tobi?"
"Tobi is a good boy! Tobi is going!" And in a swirl of blackness, the one-eye ninja disappeared.
"I guess he's not kidding when he boasts about being the ultimate escape artist, un," Deidara said.
"Well, the ultimate escape artist better not screw this up," Kakuzu said. In his chair, Hidan, still unconscious due to his partner's arbitrary bashing, fell over. His partner didn't bother to prop him back up.
l l l
Kisame poked his head into Professor Umbridge's office. "How are things going in there?" he asked.
"Quite well, thank you," Hermione said. "Harry and Ron are almost finished turning the walls neon, and I've just complete the transfiguration of all her cat items into dog items."
Kisame looked around and grinned a toothy grin. "Wicked!" he exclaimed. "She's gonna have a heart attack when she comes in here whenever she comes in here. So after they finish, are you guys done?"
Harry shook his head as he finished saying a spell. "Nope," he said. "Hermione's got a spell to wipe all traces of us being here. See, the portraits can squeal, and I wouldn't put it past Umbridge to know how to communicate with her cat stuff."
"But isn't it dog stuff now?" asked Kisame.
"When she transfigures them back, they may remember us," said Hermione. "Ron, you all set?"
"Yep," Ron said. "Just the finishing touches…"
Kisame sensed Tobi's chakra. He turned.
"What?" asked Harry, concerned. "Did you hear someone?"
"Lemme check," Kisame said. He went out into the hall and closed the door. "Tobi! What if someone had seen you?"
Tobi frantically waved his arms. "Tobi is a good boy, don't worry. Leader, sir, sent Tobi to warn Kisame-shark. Kisame-shark wasn't answering his messages, and none of the invisible three did either. Tobi is supposed to tell Kisame-shark that the nasty Slytherins are coming."
"S-," Kisame hissed. "Uh…how much longer do I have?" He checked his wrist, and sweatdropped at the amount of messages he'd missed. A new one appeared. Kisame Hoshigaki: Heh, sorry about that, guys. How much longer have I got till the trouble comes?
Itachi Uchiha: Estimate, about three minutes. They're traveling fast.
Kisame hissed in annoyance and rapped on the door before poking his head in. "Stay in there, guys. Slytherins are coming. I'm gonna do my best to avert attention, but be prepared to bolt with that snazzy invisibility sheet you've got."
"Roger that," Harry said.
Kisame closed the door. "Ok, Tobi, scram. Hide in the rafters or something, but get out of here. I've got a plan."
"Ok, Kisame-shark! Tobi is a good boy." And Tobi disappeared.
"When did he start calling me that?" Kisame wondered as he idly tapped his foot and schooled his face to look bored.
A minute later, a band of Slytherins came down the hall. "Hey, you!" called one. "What are you doing?"
"I was waiting for Professor Umbridge to come back," Kisame said, trying his best to look like a clueless eleven-year-old. "I had don't understand the chapter that we're working on, and I need her help."
"Kid, it's Friday," said a girl. "The professor goes off duty early on Fridays. Ask someone from your House."
"Oh, ok," said Kisame. "Sorry."
"First years," someone muttered. "Did you see anyone come running this direction a little while ago?"
"No, but I heard an explosion," Kisame said with as much innocence as he could muster. "I didn't want to check it out, though, because I didn't want to get in trouble."
"'Puff," whispered another Slytherin. Kisame internally sneered at the fact that these civilians guessed his House wrong based on only one of his reactions. "Get out of here, kid, and come back Monday."
"Ok," Kisame said, and he headed off. When he knew they were gone, he turned around and went back. Kisame Hoshigaki: Danger averted, all clear. Immediately the door opened and invisible Harry, Ron, and Hermione came out. "Man, that's just creepy," Kisame said, motioning vaguely in their direction.
"Mission success!" Ron whispered excitedly. "Can't wait to hear her rant about that when she discovers it."
"I'm sure it'll be very entertaining," Hermione said. "Now, I think we go meet everyone back at the library."
l l l
The group gathered in the back of the library, hidden from view.
"What's wrong with Hidan?" Lee asked.
"Don't ask," Sasori said as he pushed the still-unconscious ninja upright. "It's better this way." No one asked again.
"Our battle with Peeves was a success," Fred said.
"We gave him waddiwasi that would make Lupin and their eminences, the Marauders, proud," George added.
"And we even cleaned up after ourselves," Lee said.
"The toad-lady does not suspect a thing, clueless b- that she is," Zetsu said.
"Thank you, Zetsu, but we didn't need to hear that last bit," Yahiko said. "Restrain yourself."
"Our apologies, Leader-sama. But I don't mean it. Don't disrespect Leader-sama's wishes!" Zetsu fell silent at the withering look that Nagato was giving him.
"The spelling of the room is complete, with many clashing colors and a lot of dogs," said Ron. "It's a bloody masterpiece, if I do say so myself."
"And there are no traces, either," said Hermione.
"Man, I can't wait to see Umbridge's reaction," Fred said with a grin. "Thanks a lot, you guys."
"Yeah, we couldn't have done this without you," Harry said.
"Actually, we probably could have," George remarked.
"I mean, we are the protégés-in-spirit of the great and wonderful Marauders," Fred agreed with a nod. Turning to Zetsu, he said, "You'll have to teach us how to spy as well as you do someday."
"Someday," Zetsu said with a nod. "Not."
"Well?" asked Kakuzu. "Are we done here? I've got money to collect."
"Miser, un," Deidara said.
"It's proof that I have a brain," Kakuzu said.
"And I don't, un?" Deidara asked.
"Precisely."
"Well, enough of that," said Fred. "We're done, for now. All that's left to do is to wait and see our results!"
I know that Zetsu addresses the others with Japanese honorifics while everyone else has been English-ified (an example of this is the Akatsuki members minus Zetsu calling Yahiko some variation of Leader instead of Leader-sama). Zetsu doesn't because he's not really human, and therefore whatever translation spell affected the ninjas when they were transported doesn't work the same on him. So he can speak English, but still holds onto Japanese honorifics. And yes, he refers to himself as two entities, even though everyone else (including me) refers to him as only one. Oh, and because he's Zetsu, he only refers to the ninjas by their names, and calls everyone else by titles. Umbridge = toad-woman, and Filch = janitor.
To EpikalStorms, who suggested a sudden moment of Tobi-ness that ends up being brilliant or life-saving, Tobi saved the day by noticing that the Inquisitorial Squad would pass Umbridge's office.
Leave a review and give me an idea, express your opinion, or just tell me how great the story is (or isn't, though I hope not). Until next time!