I hope everyone's break was enjoyable. Hopefully there wasn't too much homework. My teachers had no mercy on me…
Well, break isn't over yet! Yes, my school was generous and gave us the full week of New Year's off, so I made my goal of posting again before break finished. Enjoy the comparatively speedy update J
EDIT: Thanks to Kage Kitsune of Light and don'tpushthebutton for catching my patronus mix-up.
It was well known that Hermione Granger was a very bright and inquisitive witch. While she had the heart of a red and gold lion, she had the head of a blue and bronze eagle. Thus it was no surprise that the sudden appearance of eleven first year students at the beginning of her fifth year peaked her interest very much. They were ultimately a strange and elusive bunch, regardless of how quirky each one could be. One had the mind of a very young child, one was black and white, one resembled a shark, several had odd eyes, and several more had odd hobbies, the oddest of which was the albino Hidan's devotion to 'Jashin'. They could converse in a strange language that resembled strongly Japanese, and when the boggarts had mysteriously appeared, she'd seen the shark-like Kisame kill one without hesitation, and Itachi, one of the more normal of the group, take one a strange, pale figure with red eyes in hand-to-hand combat. Yes, Hermione's interest in these students was definitely piqued.
Channeling her inner Ravenclaw, she had begun researching magic in East Asia, particularly in Japan. While there was information about the Japanese magic school, Mahoutokoro, and the customs and traditions of magical Japan, nothing seemed to match with the eleven strange students. There was nothing about weapon training that could explain both Kisame and Itachi's willingness to engage in wandless battle. When research on magical East Asia reaped few results, she began researching spells and potions that could affect one in such a way that one gained animal features like Kisame or features like Zetsu's, Kakuzu's, and Nagato's. She found nothing of any help.
Frustrated, she decided to go back to basics. How had the children gotten to Hogwarts in the first place? The likelihood of eleven eleven-year-olds making from anywhere all the way out to Hogwarts was extremely low. Of course Dumbledore would take them in out of the goodness of his heart, but what of the children's parents? Did they even have any?
At a loss, Hermione decided to research 'Jashin', hoping for the strange religion/cult/thing to give her some frame of reference for further searching. Once again, she found nothing. At one point she even tried looking him up on the Muggle internet. There was nothing. She tried searching the physical oddities of the children on the Muggle internet as well, but again came up empty.
Though she was busy during her Christmas break, going to visit the Weasleys, Harry, and Sirius at Grimmauld Place, visiting St. Mungo's and celebrating Christmas, she still had time to think. She laughed when Ron told his family about Malfoy mistaking redheaded Sasori for a Weasley and how the little Ravenclaw had made an absolute fool out of the arrogant pureblood. This gave her a new train of thought. Each of the children had their own foibles. From her observations and overhearing conversations, she knew that Deidara considered himself an artist, his friends considered him a pyromaniac, and he had a sort of speech impediment. Kisame appeared to be part shark and had a liking of big weapons and water spells. Hidan worshipped a deity that he called Jashin, liked gore a little too much, and had an extremely filthy mouth that was very unbecoming of an eleven-year-old boy. Sasori was a quiet Ravenclaw with a sharp wit and a low tolerance for lateness who liked carving things out of wood. Kakuzu had odd eyes and was something of a miser who was becoming regarded as the best gambler in Hogwarts. Konan, the only girl in the group, seemed to be a simple soul with a love of origami. Hermione had noticed that she seemed particularly close to Yahiko and Nagato and had considerable influence over them. Nagato had strange eyes and a sullen but shifting temperament – at times he seemed to be in charge of his friends and at others he stood in the background. Itachi was a quiet boy as well, though he seemed more at peace than Nagato. He was very bookish, but was apparently good at wandless combat, as he had proved during the boggart incident. Tobi was an overly childish and extremely dependent individual who was generally very happy and spoke in the third person. Zetsu was split in half both in appearance and personality, but seemed to like plants very much. Yahiko was just the most un-Slytherin Slytherin she had ever encountered. Hermione wondered how such different people had come together, but then she thought again. She, Harry, and Ron were all quite different but were still friends. They had been drawn together by circumstance, in their case, by troll attack. Hermione wondered what kind of circumstance had drawn those eleven together.
When Christmas break ended and she and her friends returned to Hogwarts, Hermione began observing the group more closely. Their joining the D.A. helped significantly; she was now able to observe the group as a whole instead of just the three Gryffindors. She saw how they interacted, with upbeat Yahiko playing most often role of leader, Konan and Nagato often supporting him. They were all quick learners as well - the group finished mastering the Shield Charm before half of the D.A.
When Harry announced that he would be teaching the Patronus Charm, Hermione was excited. Not only would she be able to test her skill with a N.E.W.T. level charm and discover her inner animal (provided she could cast a corporeal Patronus), but she could also learn a little more about all of her friends, as well as the strange group of eleven. It was definitely a difficult charm to learn. Finding a sufficiently happy memory without letting herself become distracted by thoughts of success, failure, and whether the charm would work when being actually confronted by a Dementor was indeed challenging. However, being the brilliant witch that she was, Hermione was able to cast a corporeal Patronus without too much trouble. It was an otter, which she found somewhat surprising. In her mind, otters were carefree little sea mammals which swam around on their backs and looked somewhat adorable. She had expected her Patronus to be an animal associated with the mind, such as an owl. With her own Patronus cast and swimming through the air around her, she turned to observe the eleven first year students as they attempted to cast their Patronuses.
l l l
The Akatsuki had decided to occupy their own personal corner to practice casting the Patronus Charm. "Don't worry if you can't do it," Harry had told them. "This is a N.E.W.T. level spell. It took me a while to learn how to cast right. It may take some time." Being the stubborn S-rank ninjas that they were, the Akatsuki took the challenge head on.
"Alright, let's do this!" Yahiko said. "Who wants to go first?"
Konan raised her hand. "Women have finer control. Someone has to show you boys how it's done."
"Take it away," Yahiko said as he sat down. The rest of the Akatsuki followed suit and sat down in a circle around the lady of the Akatsuki.
Konan closed her eyes and thought back to the days when she, Yahiko, and Nagato had lived in Amegakure with Jiraiya. She thought of the fun they'd had, all the times she and her two friends had ranked on the white-haired man for his perverted tendencies (though from what she'd heard of him, he'd actually been holding back he'd stayed with them) and the dinners with all of them together. "Expecto patronum," she said, and a silver mist flew out of her wand. "Hm. Noncorporeal."
"What were you thinking of?" Nagato asked.
"Younger days," Konan said simply. "Maybe I have to be more specific or find a happier memory." Thinking back again to the times when she was young, she tried to focus on a specific happy memory. She shifted through memories of playing games with Nagato and Yahiko and making origami, when her mind suddenly focused in on the day that she had completed her paper technique, the technique which would eventually allow her to become the Angel of Amegakure. "Expecto patronum." From her wand flew a bird, a crane, to be exact. The bird flew around her a few times before landing next to her.
"Wow! So pretty! Just like Konan," Tobi said in awe.
"Tobi, you're pretty happy," Yahiko said. "Wanna go next?"
"Yes! Tobi is a good boy," Tobi said as he stood. Konan sat down between Nagato and Yahiko to watch.
Tobi tried to think of a specific happy thought. But he had so many! Should he use the time he found out that there was another person with eyes like him? Or should he use Christmas, when he gave Deidara his gift and felt all warm and fuzzy inside? Unsure of which one to pick, he swirled all of the thoughts together and shouted, "Expecto patronum!" A blast of silver fog came out of his wand.
"Nice," said Deidara. "But I bet I can do better, un."
Tobi started to sit down, when Yahiko said, "Don't you want to try to make an animal?"
Tobi paused. Then he said, "Yes. Tobi will be a good boy and make a pretty silver animal." Trying to gather his thoughts, Tobi recalled as many happy things as he possibly could. Big smiles, rainbows, fun puppy dogs, dancing… "Expecto patronum!"
Another blast of silver fog came out of his wand, and with his Sharingan eye, he made out a small, vaguely feline form. He was unsure of whether it was his imagination being creative like a person who watches clouds and tries to find pictures until Itachi said, "It's a kitten."
"Huh?" Kisame asked.
"I don't see s-," Hidan said bluntly. "It's a f- mess of fog."
Deidara squinted. "You need an artist's eye to see it, un," he said. "Yeah, that's a cat."
"Kitten," Sasori said curtly.
"Whatever, un," Deidara said.
"That makes sense," Itachi said. "Uchiha's have a summoning contract with cats. A kitten suits Tobi quite well."
"Yay! Tobi is a good boy. Does Deidara want to go next?" Tobi asked the blonde bomber.
"Sure, un," said Deidara. Tobi took his place in the circle as he stood. He summoned his happy thoughts – thoughts of his art, his first flight on one of his clay birds, the thrill of making things explode. "Expecto patronum, un!" It took him a few tries to eliminate the 'un' from his spell, and a few more to produce a corporeal patronus. "…It's an ant, un."
Hidan, Kisame, Kakuzu, and the dark half of Zetsu roared with laughter. Even Sasori and Yahiko could resist sniggering a bit. "Your f- spirit animal is a f- ant!" Hidan snorted.
"I can't help it, un!" Deidara yelled, frustrated. Konan got a crane, Tobi got a foggy kitten, and he got an ant? The fates didn't hate him that much, did they? Then the ant exploded.
"Did your patronus just…explode?" Kisame asked, blinking.
"…Expecto patronum!" Deidara exclaimed, and another ant appeared.
"Well, now we know it wasn't a fluke," Sasori said. The ant crawled around a bit before exploding again.
"My patronus explodes, un!" Deidara cheered. "That makes it the best of all!"
"Sure," said Sasori, standing. "Let's see what I can do." He closed his eyes and thought of his happiest moment, his moment of greatest achievement – the moment that he completed his transformation into a puppet. "Expecto patronum." In an explosion of silver mist, a giant tortoise appeared. He blinked. "I suppose that makes sense."
"How'd you get it on the first try, un?!" Deidara exploded, annoyed at being showed up by his partner.
"I know what my happiest moment is," Sasori said simply.
"Hey, aren't tortoises slow and all?" Kisame asked. "You hate waiting."
"True, but tortoises have some of the longest lifespans of all land animals," Sasori said. "Plus, the shell reminds me of Hiruko. Who's next?"
"I'll go," said Yahiko. He went to the middle of the circle and summoned his memories of childhood. His mind immediately went to the times that Jiraiya had made them all wear frog suits and trained them. "Expecto patronum!" It took him several tries to produce a noncorporeal patronus, and a several more to produce a corporeal one. "Haha! It's a frog!" Yahiko cheered.
"In tribute to our old teacher?" Konan asked.
"Most likely," Yahiko said as he hopped around with his patronus. "Who's up?"
Hidan stood. "I'll beat all of you f-ers for sure!" he boasted. Readying his wand, he summoned his memories of serving Jashin and performing the bloodiest ritual sacrifices known to man. "Expecto patronum!" Nothing happened. Focusing harder, he yelled, "Expecto patronum!" After a few more fruitless tries, he growled, "What the f- is wrong with my wand?"
"It's probably you," Kakuzu remarked.
"I dread asking this, but what happy memory are you using?" Yahiko asked.
"The glory of serving Lord Jashin, of course," Hidan said indignantly.
"Um…what makes you really happy?" asked Konan.
"Serving Lord Jashin, of f- course," Hidan said.
The rest of Akatsuki sweatdropped. "I'm not sure you'll be able to cast one at all," Konan said.
"Why the f- not?" Hidan demanded angrily.
"Let's just say that your version of happy is not the general population's version of happy," Konan said.
"It shouldn't f- matter," Hidan grumbled. "If I'm happy, I'm f- happy."
"Maybe the magic doesn't see it that way," Itachi suggested.
"Then the magic is f- f- up in the head," Hidan sulked.
"Bet you're glad I didn't have you put money on your boast," Kakuzu leered.
"Oh yeah? I'd like to see you f- try to produce that s-," Hidan snapped.
"I know I can't," Kakuzu said. "Nothing makes me remotely near happy except for money, and even that doesn't make me truly happy."
"You mean you've never been truly happy before?" Yahiko asked in disbelief.
"I'm a ninja, you're a ninja, we're all ninja," Kakuzu said simply. "I'm surprised that any of you can produce a patronus at all."
"I'll take a crack at it," Kisame said, standing. "Let's see…happiness…" His mind immediately jumped to the thrill of being a ninja. "Here goes nothing. Expecto patronum!" In a few more tries, he managed a noncorporeal patronus. After several more, he gave up. "I'm out. I guess the thrill of the fight and the kill isn't enough to warrant a corporeal patronus."
"How the f- can Kisame use the thrill of killing to produce a noncorporeal and I'm stuck with s- because I use the glory of Lord Jashin?" Hidan complained.
"It's probably because Kisame focused on the thrill rather than the actual killing," Nagato said. "I guess I'll go." Standing in the middle of the circle, he drew up memories of his childhood. Fighting to repress memories of pain associated with his past, he managed to focus just on the times he had shared with Konan and Yahiko. To his great surprise, it took him only six tries to produce a corporeal patronus, a Shiba Inu dog. "It looks like Chibi," he whispered to himself as he reached out to touch the playful patronus.
"Tobi likes! Tobi thinks it is so cute!" Tobi exclaimed as he bounced in his seat. "Itachi's turn!"
"Who thinks that gloomy old red eyes can't do s-?" Hidan asked. No one answered him.
Itachi pulled himself back in time to the Uchiha compound. He saw little Sasuke running to greet him, asking him if he wanted to play ninja. He found himself reliving the times when he had taken his little brother up on his offer to play, the times when life's worries vanished for a fleeting time. "Expecto patronum." In a burst of silver mist, a sleek, furry weasel appeared. "I suppose I should not be surprised," Itachi remarked as he watched the small rodent run around on the air.
"Right," Kisame said, nodding. "Itachi means weasel."
"Cool," Yahiko said. "Ok, Zetsu. You're the last one."
"Yes, Leader-sama," Zetsu said, standing. He readied his wand and tried to think of happy thoughts. Let's think of the times in the greenhouse and the time Tobi tried to dress us up like a flower! Zetsu thought at first. That's stupid. Let's think of the time we were called into service to the Akatsuki.But that was by the creepy one- Don't think of him as creepy! But he is… "Leader-sama," Zetsu said, "We are sorry, but we cannot agree properly on a happy memory."
Yahiko blinked. Then he said, "That's fine. Ok, that's done. Practice what you want until Harry comes to give us more orders."
l l l
When Harry made his rounds by the Akatsuki, he was surprised to see them practicing other spells instead of the Patronus Charm. "You've given up already?" he asked. "You lot strike me as hard workers."
"Oh, no," said Yahiko. "We're done."
"Done?" Harry asked.
"Yep!" Yahiko said proudly. "My patronus is a frog!"
"Wait, you can cast a corporeal one already?" he asked.
"Yeah," said Deidara. "Just because we're kids doesn't mean we can't do what you guys do, un. My patronus is an exploding ant, un!"
"And mine's a crane," Konan said.
"Weasel," said Itachi.
"Tobi has a foggy kitty!" Tobi cheered.
"Giant tortoise," said Sasori.
"Dog," said Nagato.
"I'm noncorporeal," said Kisame. "Tobi's is kinda noncorporeal too."
"No can f- do," Hidan snorted. "Apparently my happy thoughts are f- happy enough."
"Can't," said Kakuzu.
"Can't," said the creepy version of Zetsu's voice.
"Wow, I'm impressed," Harry said. "A noncorporeal patronus at your age is really impressive, and a corporeal patronus at my age is considered quite the accomplishment. But to have so many of you guys produce a corporeal patronus? You guys must be geniuses like Hermione."
"Except for this idiot," said Kakuzu, whacking Hidan on the head.
"Hey! Last time I f- looked, you told us you couldn't do s- either!" Hidan snapped.
"I know my limitations, and happy is one of those," Kakuzu said simply. "At least I didn't stand up and boast that I'd beat every with my skills."
"Stupid heathen f-," Hidan grumbled as Harry walked away.
"You look perturbed, Harry," Hermione said as she saw her friend walk by.
"Not so much perturbed as completely astonished," Harry said. "Those guys managed to produce corporeal patronuses in about an hour!"
"The mind of a child is truly a curious and wonderful thing," Luna Lovegood remarked as her rabbit patronus hopped around her.
"I guess," Harry said.
"Don't be disappointed in yourself," Luna said. "Children are innocent and have pure minds. That's why they can do so much."
"I guess," Harry said.
"I was watching them," Hermione said. "They're certainly a strange bunch. Itachi mentioned something about Uchiha having a summoning contract with cats. His last name's Uchiha, I think, but he was talking about Tobi, so Tobi must be related to him. Sasori and Itachi both got corporeal patronuses on the first try, which I'm sure is virtually impossible. Sasori mentioned something or someone called Hiruko. Kisame talked about the thrill of the kill, and Kakuzu mentioned that they all were ninjas. Zetsu uses Japanese honorifics. I have some research to do."
"Are you making them your new pet project?" asked Ron? "Thank goodness we don't have to hear about SPEW." When Hermione gave him an offended look, he hastily apologized.
"I'm not treating them like that, Ron, I'm just curious about where they come from. We know virtually nothing about their background except that they think they're ninjas and they're Japanese. I'll have to do some more in-depth research on magical Japan. Do you think it's possible that they touched a time-traveling portkey? Does such a thing even exist?"
"You're rambling, Hermione," said Ron.
"Sorry," Hermione said. "But this is just so intriguing!"
"I can tell."
"Itachi's patronus is a weasel," Harry told Ron.
"Hey, I think that may be my dad's!" Ron said.
"That's funny," Ginny said, walking by them with a horse running around her.
Harry soon dismissed everyone. Hermione watched the eleven split up as everyone made their way back to their dorms. She was going to unleash her inner Ravenclaw and unravel the mystery behind those children.
There are such things as exploding ants, I kid you not. Google it if you don't believe it. Thanks to beserkverses, a guest, and all others who reviewed giving me suggestions for the Akatsuki's patronuses.
flamegirl55 suggested that Hermione look up Jashin. Of course, at this point, the Naruto manga has not yet started, and the one-shot has yet to be released (it's 1996).
I know I promised a prank after the Christmas break, but I need ideas! They already messed around with Umbridge's office, messed with Peeves, and blew up Moaning Myrtle's bathroom…what else could they do?
The reviewer 10th Squad 3rd Seat told me "I desire fanart." This story has no fanart except for the cover I drew (viewable in full at my deviantArt .com…I was not aware of the dimension restrictions for cover pictures -_-;…). If any of you out there consider yourselves artists of any kind (we will not debate what constitutes art because we are not Deidara and Sasori) and have some free time on your hands, would you do me the honor of drawing some fanart? Leave me a link and I will proudly put it my profile and advertise it loudly when I receive it.
I've got midterms coming up, so don't expect an update for a bit (unless someone leaves me an idea that sticks in my head and I can't get it out). Sorry. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to a lot of things, like grammar and (rather troublesome for all of you) grades, so I'm going to study my butt off for them.
Express your opinion. Point out a mistake. Give me ideas, especially regarding the next prank. Make fanart and leave me a link so I can post it on my profile for all to admire. Review!
Happy New Year, everyone J