Sorry this took so long! I've been prepping for the March SATs, painting a portrait that's almost as big as me for my school's play (the portrait's 3' wide and 4' tall…yes, I'm short), and been filling out a pain-in-my-butt application for the National Honors Society. I mean, honestly, do they even want people to join? The stupid application is enough to scare anyone off! Not to mention the ACTs, AP work, the closing of the third quarter, fighting with Windows 8 (my old computer died), etc. To sum up, junior year in high school is a pain, and I'm sure many of you have experienced it or are experiencing it with me. To you younger folks, hang in there and enjoy your freedom while you can…you'll miss it later! But enough about me. I tried to make the chapter long to make up for it.
It seems of those who left their opinion, most of you wouldn't mind someone finding out about the Akatsuki. Of those of you who wanted someone to find out, most of you didn't want that person to be Hermione. So here you are.
Sasori had the sneaking suspicion that he and Kakuzu were being followed. He glanced at the larger boy. "Are you sensing what I'm sensing?" he asked in the language of the Ninja Lands.
Kakuzu nodded shortly. "Split off," he muttered. "You're better at stealth than me, so you take the long way to Charms."
The two turned opposite ways, with Kakuzu heading to Charms the normal way and Sasori heading to a window. Sasori reached into his bag and pulled out a notebook. Slipping his wand out of his sleeve, he whispered a spell to turn the first page into a mirror. Then he stopped short. With his ninja-keen ears, he heard someone stop behind him. Using his mirror, he checked behind him before starting to walk again. As he did, he thought that he saw a flash of blonde hair. What is it with me and annoying blondes? he asked himself as he rounded the nearest corner into an empty hallway, took off at ninja speed, pushed open a window, and climbed out. He quickly flipped through a few hand seals, casting a camouflage illusion over himself before running to meet Kakuzu at Charms.
"It was you being followed," Kakuzu said quietly when Sasori climbed through a window.
"I know," said Sasori. "I swear, if it's another annoying prat, I'm going to kill someone, regardless of Leader's orders."
"I second the sentiment," Kakuzu grumbled. "I haven't killed a man in weeks, and Konan's been breathing down my back since the payback."
"Where have you been getting your kills?" asked Sasori.
"We're in class with the 'Puffs," said Kakuzu. "I'll tell you later." Sasori nodded as they joined the Hufflepuff ninjas.
Later that day, after a stressful broom-riding class, Sasori dumped his things in his dorm and grabbed his latest puppet's arm. He was still rebuilding his arsenal, and was constantly trying to find a halfway decent replacement for his human puppets. He had taken to using acromantula exoskeletons, seeing as they were organic material and Hidan slaughtered plenty of them. He needed to relax after flying, and immersing himself in his work was the best way for him to do that.
Kakuzu came in, and Konan materialized next to him. "Look, I understand that I'm on probation, Lady Konan, but this is getting ridiculous! What if someone sees?" Kakuzu ranted.
"I'm not considered a talented kunoichi for nothing," Konan said.
"I'm going out to the common room," Kakuzu grumbled. "Yes, I know, you can't follow me there."
Konan sighed. "I'm simply doing my job," she said. "Sasori, I'm afraid you'll have to go out with him."
Sasori let out his own sigh. "Fine." He gathered his things and followed his comrade out to the common room. Behind them, Konan dispersed into pieces. "I'll be in the corner," he told Kakuzu as he plopped down in the shadows and pulled out his whittling knife. He'd only been working for a few minutes when someone approached him. When he lifted his head he was greeted with blonde hair and blue eyes. "Who-?"
"Hello," said the intruding blonde, "what are you working on?"
"Puppet," said Sasori.
"Oh, how nice! Are they charms to keep the Nargles away?"
"Excuse me, who are you?" asked Sasori as he started gathering his things. He'd seen this girl at the Defense classes, and he knew she was a Ravenclaw, but that was the extent of his knowledge. He really missed having a spy network that could keep him informed, and Zetsu only answered to the Leaders.
"I'm Luna Lovegood," said the offending blonde. "So, are your puppets charmed to keep the Nargles away?"
"What's a Nargle?" asked Sasori.
"They're mischievous little creatures that sometimes inhabit mistletoe," said Luna. "I saw it once."
"Ah. I'm not warding off Nargles," said Sasori. "It's a hobby."
"What will the finished product look like?" asked Luna.
"A humanoid," Sasori said vaguely.
"So this is only a small piece," said Luna. "How many arms will it have?"
Sasori was beginning to get annoyed. "Six, as it's planned now," he said. "Why are you interested?"
"Well, you said your puppet was going to be humanoid. That doesn't mean that it has human features exactly," said Luna. Sasori nodded. The girl wasn't going away! Was he cursed with annoying blondes? "Am I annoying you?" she asked.
"How did you guess?" asked Sasori, not caring that he was being rude.
"Your body language," said Luna.
"That was a rhetorical question," said Sasori.
"Oh, I see," said Luna.
"…Were you the one following me this afternoon?" he asked slowly, recalling the flash of long, blonde hair he'd caught as he'd been avoiding his stalker.
"You noticed? The Blibbering Humdingers must have given me away," said Luna.
"The what? Never mind, don't answer that," said Sasori. "Yes, I noticed you."
"You seem like a very old man," said Luna. "A very old man in a child's body."
"I get that a lot," said Sasori.
"It's not good for you," said Luna. She had long since sat down cross-legged in front of him. It was clear that she wasn't going away any time soon. "You'll get frown wrinkles early, and then the Wrackspurts will infest your mind."
"Sure," said Sasori.
"But what I'm wonder is where you went this afternoon," said Luna.
"I was going to Charms," said Sasori. "Why were you stalking me?"
"You and your friends are very talented," said Luna. "I saw you cast your Patronuses. Your tortoise is very nice, by the way. It suits you from what I can see. You seem like you have a shell protecting you, I think. You're very guarded."
"So that's why you were following me?" asked Sasori.
"You're also interesting," Luna continued, seemingly not hearing his question. "Hermione seems to think so, too. She asked me to watch you."
Sasori looked at her sharply. "What does she want with us?"
"You'll have to excuse her," said Luna. "She's a curious person by nature. She would have done well in Ravenclaw like us."
"What's so interesting about us?" Sasori asked.
"Well, I think some of it has to do with you appearing at the start of the term," said Luna. "You've also shown incredible talent in our club. It's only natural for her to be curious. I also think she might be a little jealous of your raw talent."
"What's so special about waving a wand and saying a few magic words?" asked Sasori. In his opinion, ninja techniques were much more demanding, with the hand seals and chakra control required, not to mention other factors like chakra reserves, nature type, and the battle environment.
"It takes a certain combination of maturity and potential to perform magic advanced as the Patronus charm," said Luna. "You certainly impressed us all."
"And?" asked Sasori.
"Hermione thinks you're hiding something," said Luna.
"Why would she think that?" asked Sasori.
"Eleven-year-olds usually don't have the emotional maturity to produce even noncorporeal patronuses," said Luna. "Not many older people do either."
"Ah?" Sasori made a note to himself to tell Leader that everyone needed to dumb themselves down much more than they already were. "Do you agree with her?"
"You disappeared into thin air this afternoon, but were reportedly in Charms on time," said Luna. "You were heading in the opposite direction of the Charms classroom."
"What are you talking about?" Sasori asked carefully.
"You know I was following you," Luna freely admitted. "Hermione asked me to. You went one way, and your friend went the other way. I followed you because you were heading away from your classroom. Then I rounded a corner, and you were gone. Even if you had run, you couldn't have made it down the hall and around the corner. Then you had to avoid me in order to get to your next class. There are anti-Disapparition wards in Hogwarts. So you had to have gotten by me some other way."
Sasori sighed. Luna showed no signs of going away. So Sasori ignored her. He didn't acknowledge her presence, and let her ramble on while he carved his puppet's arm. Finally, he got up and left. "Kakuzu, I trust you can keep out of trouble?"
"Why, what's it to you?" asked Kakuzu.
"We may have a cover problem," Sasori muttered. "She's watching us for that nosy girl with Glasses-and-Scar and Red. She won't go away. She's the one who was following us earlier today."
"Lovely," said Kakuzu. "She can't go to our dorms without raising suspicions. Let's get out of here."
Konan was nowhere to be seen when they entered their dorm. "We need to report to Leader," said Sasori. "A cover problem brings unwanted attention and hinders our agendas."
"Agreed," said Kakuzu. "I'm not having my money sources bothered by something like this."
l l l
That evening, Akatsuki was made aware of their security problem.
"So, according to herself, Luna Lovegood, associate of Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, and Ronald Weasley, is spying on Sasori and Kakuzu on behalf of Hermione in order to find out what exactly our background is because she doesn't buy that we're fortunate orphans," Yahiko summed up, exasperated.
"As if we need any more problems," Nagato muttered.
"What do you mean by that, Leader Two?" asked Kisame. Sasori mentally shook his head. Apparently the idiot Tobi's nickname for Nagato had caught on.
"We have recently discovered potential problems with loyalty," said Nagato.
"I thought we were going to address this individually?" Yahiko asked uneasily.
"Loyalty? Since when has this ever been about loyalty?" asked Kakuzu.
"Yeah, since I was, like, forced to join, un!" Deidara exploded.
"You lost fairly to me," Itachi reminded Deidara.
"Shut up, un," the bomber snarled.
"Hey now, loyalty's an important thing," said Kisame. "If you haven't got people at your back that you can trust, you haven't got anything."
"I disagree," Sasori said stonily. "In the end, the only person you can trust is yourself."
"Tobi is a good boy," Tobi said. "Tobi thinks that trust is good! Tobi says that trust is what makes good friends."
"The only friend that's good is a friend who can't turn on you," said Kakuzu. "That's money."
"Have you ever heard of inflation, in which the value of money fails you?" asked Sasori. Kakuzu said nothing.
"I don't give a f- about all that s-," said Hidan. "I've got Lord Jashin, and he's all I f- need."
"What you need is to shut your mouth," Kakuzu said, pointing his wand at the offending ninja. "Silencio."
"F- protego!" Hidan countered. Nothing happened, and he was silenced. He furiously mimed something to the effect of 'why didn't it work?'.
Deidara cackled. "It's just like how my 'un' kept my Patronus from working before, un," he said as he laughed. "You screwed up the spell!"
"Petrificus totalis," Kakuzu said, and Hidan seized up and fell over. "That's that. Moving on."
"Yeah, what's the problem with loyalty, un?" asked Deidara.
Yahiko glanced at Konan and Nagato. "You brought it up," he said. "What should we do?"
Nagato chose for him. "It has been revealed that a certain Madara Uchiha has been toying with this organization. When Yahiko, Konan, and I started this group, we were freedom fighters for the Village Hidden in Rain. Somehow Akatsuki is now a mercenary group dedicated to capturing the Tailed Beasts in order to use the moon to produce a worldwide illusion of peace."
There was silence. Then Kisame said, "I knew that."
"This is the first I'm hearing of it," Kakuzu said.
"I hate illusions, un!" Deidara groaned.
"I will not have my free will taken for eternity by an illusion," Sasori snarled.
Itachi said nothing, and Hidan was unable to say anything, let alone move. Tobi looked like he was in shock. Zetsu, however, eyed the Ame Trio. "What is the meaning of this, Leader-sama?" he demanded.
"The meaning is this," said Yahiko. "Akatsuki's view has been skewed by an outsider, but those days are over! The Ame Trio is back in action, and we're taking charge!"
Zetsu turned to Tobi. "Obito-san-" he began.
"Is Zetsu talking to Tobi?" asked Tobi. Itachi turned, wide-eyed, to Tobi.
"Obito-san, do you have nothing to say?" asked Zetsu.
"Tobi wants to know who Obito is," Tobi said. "Is he related to Tobi?"
"Obito…as in Obito Uchiha?" Itachi asked Zetsu. Zetsu ignored him. Itachi turned back to Obito. "I remember you! You were always so happy. But you died…"
"Tobi is sorry, cousin Itachi, but Tobi does not know who Obito is," said Tobi.
"You're on your own, Zetsu," Nagato said. "Tobi is truly Tobi now, and he's not Madara's."
"So let me get this straight," said Kakuzu. "Akatsuki used to be a bunch of rebels before Madara comes in and somehow turns it into a mercenary group with Leader as a puppet-"
"-And then manipulates it so that Akatsuki serves his purposes of being world dictator," said Sasori.
"You know, for a puppet and spy master, you seem surprisingly against other people becoming the master puppeteer," remarked Kisame.
"I am a puppet master," Sasori agreed with a nod. "I admit to manipulating people and their bodies. I am a puppeteer because I like being in control. I will not be restrained or controlled by another, especially when said other plans to use an illusion to control my will instead of true, dominating power which is worthy of lording over nations."
"So you're with us," Yahiko guessed.
"For now," Sasori said. "I assume that since you're operating for peace, you will grow quickly become intolerant of my works of art."
"Come on," said Yahiko, "you've gotta admit that what you do with human bodies is pretty gruesome."
"Says the guy who has a friend who can grow extra limbs at will," said Nagato.
"But that's different! That's your own body, not someone else's," Yahiko explained.
"Think what you'd like," said Sasori. "For now, I am with you because I do not wish to be Madara's. However, do not expect me to stay when we return to our rightful place."
"I'm wherever there's the most money," said Kakuzu. "In an illusionary peace, money will lose its worth because money often leads to conflict. Thus, I'm against Madara. But that doesn't mean I'll stick with a bunch of rebels either."
"So for now we can trust you," said Nagato.
"Yes," Kakuzu confirmed.
"Well, you all can have it your own way, but I like Madara's world of truth," said Kisame. "I mean, what drove me away from my home village was the hypocrisy of their notion of loyalty. I was being commended for killing my comrades. Now that's twisted. It was a world of lies, where I was. I'm kinda interested in what Madara has to offer."
"But is an illusion truth?" Kisame turned to his partner, whose black eyes were staring into his.
"Pardon?" asked Kisame.
"An illusion is but a lie," said Itachi. "Certainly, it can show a true memory, but a memory is a figment of the past, not reality. An illusion is a lie, and thus, a world under illusionary peace is a lie. So how can you, who values truth and loyalty, possibly conceive that a world under an illusionary peace is a world of truth?"
Kisame was still. "But if Madara actually brings about a world of truth with his illusion…" he began.
"Then that world is still a lie because the people are puppets without free will, controlled by Madara. The world would be Madara's notion of truth, should he even create that. For all you know, he could be lying," said Itachi.
"I take it you're against your ancestor's idea?" Kisame asked. Itachi nodded. "Well, you're a smart guy, Itachi, and you've proven yourself to be a trustworthy friend, so I'll think about your reasoning. At the moment, I'm neutral, ok?"
"Got it," said Yahiko. "Deidara?"
"Don't get me wrong, but I kinda hate this organization, un," Deidara said. "I mean, for crying out loud, you all forced me here by putting me up against Mr. Cheating Eyes, un! The only good thing that came out of this whole deal was me meeting a fellow artist, even if his conception of art is really stupid."
"Excuse me, but at least my art will last for generations to come," Sasori retorted. "Even if people somehow recall your notion of art, it will be lost through the generations because there will be no proof but oral tradition."
"We are not talking about art again," Nagato snapped. "Deidara, are you for us or against us?"
"Well, I'm not gonna be free wherever I go, but at least with you guys, I'll have more free will, un," said Deidara. "Don't think for a second that I'm loyal to anyone but myself, though, un!"
"But Tobi knows that Deidara is loyal to Sasori," said Tobi. "Deidara calls Sasori 'danna'."
"That's out of respect for a fellow artist, un!" Deidara snapped.
"Enough about art," Nagato said. "Finite incantatum."
Hidan sat up. "It's about f- time!" he shouted. "So you're probably gonna ask me who I'm loyal to and s-. Well, I'm loyal to no one but Lord f- Jashin!"
"We got that bit," said Yahiko. "If you had to choose between us and Madara, who would you choose?"
"You guys," Hidan said without hesitation. "An f- illusion of peace would mean no more fulfilling sacrifices to Lord Jashin and s-, so I'll stick around for a while until you start acting like those f- tree-huggers from the Leaf."
Zetsu was silently seething. "You may have the upper hand for now, Yahiko, but don't think for a second that you've won! When we return home, you will pay for your treachery, and you no longer have our service." He started to sink through the floor, but Nagato twitched his hand slightly and used a watered-down version of his gravity technique, yanking Zetsu to him.
"You're not going anywhere if I can help it," he said, his ringed eyes narrowed.
"We're sorry, Nagato-san, but we cannot serve you if you don't hold loyalty to Madara-sama," said Zetsu. "Actually, we're not sorry at all. If you're not loyal to Madara-sama, you're dead to us. We will annihilate you! Do we have to? Some of them are kind of nice…We are annihilating them, and that is that."
"Are we gonna kill him?" asked Yahiko.
"We're going to have to," said Nagato. "If we don't, he'll only bring harm to us."
"I'll have no part in this," said Kisame.
"I f- will!" Hidan leered as he grabbed a conveniently located scythe from one of the closets in the Room of Requirement. "It's not blessed in blood like Lord Jashin would like, but it'll do the f- job." And his lunged at Zetsu, slicing him in half.
"We are Madara-sama's servants," jeered Zetsu. "We cannot be killed so easily!" And from his two halves, new Zetsus formed.
"Aw, really?" Yahiko groaned as he looked at Zetsu and his all-white new clone. "I guess we can't cut 'em up. Kisame, I'll respect your neutrality. You don't have to do anything. Itachi, if your health will allow, do what you can. And the rest of you who are at least temporarily loyal to the true Akatsuki, get them!" On his order, the Zetsus split again.
Konan dissolved into paper and reappeared next to one, a sealing array appearing as she trapped a Zetsu in a paper coffin. Kakuzu simply sent black threads of death through another. Deidara prepared a couple of low-grade bombs. Itachi's eyes glowed red as he leaped at the Zetsu with black, and Tobi followed him.
"You gotta keep him from splitting," Yahiko called.
"Working on it…" Konan muttered as she dispersed again.
"They die when you deal a killing blow which doesn't separate their bodies into viable pieces," Sasori said as an acromantula puppet brutally hacked one of the clones into tiny, clearly unviable bits.
"Watch the black one," Itachi warned. "He's the one who's in command.
"Tobi is a good boy! Tobi will not let him escape," Tobi said with confidence.
"Behind you!" Kisame yelled to his partner. Itachi whipped around and slashed a white Zetsu with his kunai.
"What I wouldn't give for a sword," Itachi muttered as he incinerated the clone with a Grand Fireball. A flick of one of Sasori's chakra strings sent a ninjato to him. He quickly turned his attention back to the black Zetsu. "Tobi, where'd he go?"
"Tobi is chasing him!" Tobi's voice cried from somewhere on the ceiling. Itachi leaped up and gave chase.
Hidan hacked white Zetsus into itty-bitty pieces, and Kakuzu burned them to keep them from reviving. Konan sealed Zetsus, but it was clearly eating away at her reserves. Nagato crushed Zetsus into nonexistence with his gravity techniques, and Yahiko, wanting to avoid collateral damage, fought beside him, armed with two kunai. Deidara, caring much less about collateral damage, blew to smithereens offending white Zetsus. Sasori watched his partner's back, grumbling about Deidara's utter carelessness. Kisame just stood to the side, wishing that he could do some fighting, but loyally holding his neutral position until he came to a decision about his allegiance. The room was in utter chaos. Thus, it was no surprise that when the metaphorical (and legitimate, thanks to Deidara) dust settled, no one could find black Zetsu.
"He got away," Nagato seethed. "Could no one keep an eye on him?"
"I was trying, but a certain blonde idiot kept obscuring my view with his obnoxious artwork," Sasori said.
"Yeah, yeah, blame it on me, un!" Deidara complained.
"Tobi is very sorry!" Tobi whimpered. "Tobi is only a master of escaping."
"Now what'll we do?" asked Kakuzu. "Don't tell me we have to cover for the little ass."
Yahiko sighed. "And not only that, but we have to keep ourselves safe from the nosy girls."
"Where would Zetsu go?" Itachi asked. "He knows that he can't get back to Madara on his own."
"Or can he?" Nagato muttered.
"If he could, he would have already gone," said Konan.
"I don't give a flying f- about where the schizophrenic s-head went," Hidan declared.
"We know you don't," Kakuzu said. "Shut up."
"He's more a case of multiple personality disorder than schizophrenia," Sasori remarked.
"Great," said Nagato. "So we get rid of one problem only to gain another."
"At least we know who we can trust," Konan said.
"But we still didn't deal with Luna and Hermione," Yahiko said.
"We can take care of that later," Konan said. "We've had a rough evening."
"But-" Yahiko began.
"We are going to deal with it later," Konan repeated, the remains of her drained chakra reserves spiking.
"L-lady Konan is s-scary!" Yahiko whimpered as he hid behind Nagato.
l l l
So the problem of nosy witches was put off. Sasori and Kakuzu headed back to the Ravenclaw dorm, unaccompanied by Konan's paper butterflies. It appeared that either she was too tired to watch them, or that Kakuzu's probation was over due to the state of alert. They were greeted by Luna.
"You never came back after dinner to finish our conversation," she said to Sasori. "It's rather rude to leave a conversation unfinished, so I waited up for you."
"Blondes are your problem," Kakuzu said shortly before walking away.
"I don't have to deal with my problems now," Sasori said just as shortly before following him to the boy's dorm.
But Luna was persistent. The next morning, she was waiting, and followed Kakuzu and him to breakfast. "Has Hidan actually managed to curse us with Jashinist rituals or something?" Kakuzu grumbled to Sasori as they struggled to avoid the eccentric and annoying girl.
"I wouldn't ask that question," Sasori said.
After classes, Hermione started following them. "We could report her for harassment," Nagato suggested as they left double Transfiguration.
"She's a golden girl," Kakuzu said. "She'll get off without trouble."
"She's annoying," Sasori said. "It's nosy people like her who give intellectuals a bad name."
"You're no example of a normal intellectual, with your human puppets," pointed out Konan. "Are you heading to the medic, Itachi?"
"Yes," he said.
"Did the woman ever tell you what's wrong with you?" asked Sasori.
"No," said Itachi as he adjusted his glasses. "However, I've memorized spell she uses, and am currently going through her books when she's not there. From the incantation, I've deduced that it's something like the opposite of the doubling spell, Gemini. What it might be for, though, I'm not sure."
Sasori frowned. "She's trying to reverse something replicating? I believe I've heard of a disease like that. I may look into it."
"But Itachi is feeling well, yes?" Tobi asked. "Tobi does not want his cousin to be sick!"
"When did you two decide that you were cousins?" asked Kakuzu.
"All Uchihas are related," Itachi said simply. "I don't remember O- Tobi well, so he's probably a distant cousin."
"Hush," Konan said suddenly. "Your stalker is here."
"I'm leaving," Itachi said. "Tobi, do you want to come?"
"Tobi will see Hermione if it's ok with cousin Itachi," said Tobi. Itachi nodded and headed for the hospital wing.
"Where's somewhere safe?" Nagato asked Konan.
"It's a bit chilly, but the Astronomy tower may do the trick," Konan said. "Also, the Room of Requirement's not a bad idea either. What are you planning?"
"We'll do the memory spell if necessary, so let's use the Room," Nagato decided. "It'll conceal messes and keep people out."
After pacing numerous times in front of the Room of Requirement to set it, they entered and allowed Hermione to follow. "Hello," she said. "Are you practicing your Defense spells? I could help if you'd like."
"We don't need your help," Nagato said firmly. "You're bothering us, and it's getting ridiculous."
"I don't mean to bother you," Hermione began.
"Then why are you having Luna follow Sasori and I?" Kakuzu asked harshly, annoyed with the little girl who thought she was doing a good job playing detective.
"Tobi thinks you all are mean," Tobi said with a pout.
"Oh, and I suppose you like being stalked?" asked Kakuzu.
"Tobi doesn't mind because Hermione is nice!"
"Luna told us you were curious about our skill with magic," said Sasori.
"Why?" asked Konan. "What is so remarkable about us?"
"You guys are really talented," Hermione started.
"But does that mean you have to be intrusive?" asked Nagato. "Why not be straightforward with us?"
"Because most of you are beyond your years in maturity, and wouldn't give me a straight answer anyway," said Hermione.
"Our business is our business," Kakuzu snapped.
"We're just a bunch of kids," Konan agreed. "If you think were clever or talented, great."
"Just leave us alone," said Sasori.
"Tobi says he will be friends, but that he doesn't want his friends to be upset," Tobi said.
Hermione was silent before nodding. "Ok. I'll stay away from you."
"Nonono, that's not what Tobi meant-" Tobi started to say.
Nagato covered his mouth. "Those terms will be fine. Good bye." Hermione left.
The Akatsuki were quiet for a moment. Then Sasori said, "You don't actually expect that to work, do you, Leader?"
"Honestly? No," said Nagato. "She's in the House of Strong-headedness for a reason. But now we've got some words to hold her to. Go your separate ways, and inform the others of this."
l l l
"So we're giving the Houses names now, un?" asked Deidara. "If Gryffindor's the House of Strong-headedness, then Ravenclaw's the House of Nerds, Hufflepuff's the House of people like those tree-hugger in Leaf, and Slytherin's the House of Over-Achievers, un."
"Is that really all you got out of this?" Sasori asked, annoyed.
"Of course not, danna," said Deidara. "You said that Leader made a deal with the brainiac girl to make her leave us alone, un." "That's good," said Kisame. "She was starting make me uncomfortable, following us around all the time."
"She was tracing you guys, too?" Sasori asked.
"Well, she's in our House," said Kisame. "It was easy for her to keep eyes on us."
"She's not going to keep her word, you know," said Sasori.
"Why do you think that, un? She seems like a typical, honor-bound civilian," said Deidara.
"She's also too curious to leave us alone, and that means she'll find a loophole," said Sasori. "For example, she said that she'd leave us alone, but made no promises about other people."
"So you think she'll keep that Luna girl on us?" asked Kisame.
"Yes," said Sasori.
"You don't like, her, danna, un," Deidara remarked.
"She annoys me," said Sasori. "Almost more than you annoy me."
"Gee, thanks, un," Deidara pouted.
"So, Leader says to watch her?" asked Kisame.
"You're with us?" Sasori asked.
"In all cases not involving the Akatsuki split," said Kisame. "Ask me to protect our identities, and I'll do it. Ask me to pick sides, and I'm neutral, for now."
"Fine," said Sasori. "You're also supposed to keep Hidan under control."
"That goes without saying, un," said Deidara.
"Good," said Sasori. He returned to the Ravenclaw dorms. To his surprise, Luna was not there to hound him. Maybe Nosy told her to back off, he thought. Thank goodness. Now I can carve my works of art in peace.
l l l
Luna Lovegood was many things. She was fascinated with magical creatures, she was a Ravenclaw, she was somewhat eccentric (ok, maybe not somewhat), and she was curious. So when Hermione had asked her to find out more about the little ones who had shown so much talent, she was more than happy to oblige. Unfortunately, the two little ones of her House had proved to be very difficult to discover anything about, until the little redhead, Sasori, mysteriously disappeared, and then reappeared far away in his classroom. That evening, Hermione had told her to lay low for a little while. But Luna was now curious for her own reasons, and so she went to Fred and George.
"I'd like to borrow a pair of Extendable Ears, please," she said.
"Sure thing," said George.
"And we won't charge you anything," said Fred. "But…"
"…You have to tell us who you're spying on!" George cackled.
"Sasori and Kakuzu," said Luna.
Fred and George blinked owlishly at her. "Why?" asked Fred.
"You like younger boys?" asked George.
"They're special," Luna answered. "Sasori disappeared on one end of the castle and reappeared on another."
"Ah," said Fred.
"You've now sparked interest in the minds of these two pranksters!" George said cheerfully.
"We'll see if we can get Harry to let us borrow the Map," said Fred.
"After all, we could use a little fun!" George said with a grin.
"Here are the ears, my dear," said Fred, pressing them into her hand. "Good luck!" George said as he sent her off.
Luna waited until the next day to use the ears. First, she had some research to do, though not in the way that Hermione did research, of course. She had always had some talent for Divination, and so she borrowed one of Professor Trelawney's crystal balls. She wasn't quite certain what she was looking for, but she kept an open mind as she gazed into the cloudy glass. And sure enough, she began to see things. She saw a map of a continent, marked in a language that she could not read, though it looked like one of the Asian scripts (Chinese? Japanese? Korean? She could never tell the difference). Then she saw the silhouette of a group of ten. Then she saw a strange red cloud pattern. Finally, she saw flashes of action, like one would see in a muggle motion picture which was trying to portray a brief flashback. First she saw blue Kisame and red-eyed Itachi, as adults, just standing in the rain. Both wore black cloaks with red clouds. Then she saw silver-haired Hidan and tan Kakuzu, in the midst of a slaughter of which they seemed to be the perpetrators. They too wore the cloaks. Next was Deidara and Sasori, the former of which stood on a giant flying bird (something told her that she'd seen something similar recently), shouting something that she could not hear, and the latter of which controlled with slight movements of his fingers a hundred puppets. They too wore the cloaks. Then she saw orange-haired Yahiko, but he had Nagato's eyes. At his side was blue-haired Konan, with wings of paper spread behind her. They were all adults, and they all looked like hardened aurors. Finally, she saw black and white Zetsu, wearing a strange, plant-like green collar, standing next to a man in an orange spiral mask. For a split second, she saw an old man with white, spikey hair and ringed eyes like Nagato, sitting in a cavern, before everything disappeared. Well, Luna thought, that was certainly enlightening. I wonder if I should tell Hermione.
During dinner, she noticed that Zetsu was missing. Thinking about it, she realized that she hadn't seen him at all that day. When dinner was finished, watched the group of youngsters gathering together, before they headed off in the direction of the Room of Requirement. Luna followed them at a distance, with her nose in a book. She was not surprised when they disappeared into the Room of Requirement. Hoping that the bunch had not thought to soundproof the room, she pushed one end of the Extendable Ears under the door and held the other end to her ear.
"-ort," she heard someone say. "First of all, has anyone seen any sign of Zetsu?"
"Tobi has seen nothing, Leader, sir! Tobi thinks that Zetsu has gone far, far away," said a person who was obviously Tobi.
"Well, no f- duh," Hidan snarled. "The little f-er obviously went somewhere out of our Jashin-damned reach."
"If I were Zetsu," a thoughtful voice said, "I would want to find someone with the resources to get back to our home. After all, if he can return and leave us here, there's no one with knowledge of Madara's plan to stop them."
"But who would have those kinds of resources?" asked another person.
There was a brief pause as everyone thought. Then someone said, "The government, un!" Deidara, Luna realized when she heard the 'un.'
"…Did you just make an intelligent suggestion, brat?" asked the familiar voice of Sasori.
"…Shut up, un!"
"Ok, great, so the government has resources," said the voice which had called resources into question in the first place. "Are you suggesting that we break into a place of which we don't know the location and that we have no way to get to in the first place?"
"I was just saying where he might be, un," said Deidara.
"Well, that's one possibility," said the very first voice, the one which had asked the initial question. "But what about with that nasty guy, Voldemort?"
"If that guy had resources, then he would've taken over the world already," said a voice, Kakuzu. "Though he definitely has the potential to have the power to send Zetsu back, if Zetsu can figure out a way."
"The guy's no good for anything except reconnaissance," said the initial voice.
"And making clones of himself," said the resources voice.
Luna was quiet. Then she got up and left, and returned the Extendable Ears to Fred and George, who were trying to get the Marauder's Map back from Harry for their spying. The next day, she went back to the Room of Requirement and asked it to become a database on the world that she had seen in the crystal ball. When she entered, she found the place full of scrolls and weapons. When she opened the nearest scroll, she realized that it was in the Asian script which she couldn't read. Sighing, she looked through the scrolls, and found one filled with maps, which looked like it might be a history scroll. She took it with her when she left, and went to find Cho Chang.
"Cho," she said, when she had tracked down the other girl, "do you know what language this is?"
Cho looked it over. "Well, it's not Korean," she said. "It's got a script similar to Japanese, but I don't think that it's that either."
"So it's Chinese?" Luna asked.
"It looks so similar, but each of the characters that looks Chinese is ever so slightly different, such that I know it's not," said Cho. "If I had to guess, I'd say it's a strange, strange dialect of Japanese."
"Can you read any of it?" Luna asked hopefully.
"I'm Chinese, Luna," said Cho. "But even the Chinese-looking characters, I can't read. Where did you find this?"
"In the Room of Requirement," said Luna. She was very glad when Cho asked no further questions. "Thank you anyway."
She studied the map openly, asking all of those she knew to avid linguists if they knew which language she was looking at. A few evenings later, she approached Sasori.
"What do you want?" the little redhead asked her, already sounding annoyed.
"You seem intelligent and like you know a lot of things," Luna began.
"What could I know that you don't know?" asked Sasori. "You're older than me."
"Age is not necessarily a measure of knowledge," said Luna. "I was wondering if you knew what this language was." And she handed him the scroll.
Sasori eyed it uneasily before he opened it. One quick glance at it made his eyes widen. "Where did you get this?" he demanded.
"Can you read it?" Luna asked. "I found it in the Room of Requirement."
"Why were you looking for things like this?" Sasori asked, shoving the scroll back into her hands.
"I saw something in a crystal ball that I wanted to investigate," said Luna. "I saw a map like this one. My friends don't know what language this is. Do you?"
Sasori bit his lip. "Wait here," he said finally. He went up to his dorm, and came back with a very irritated Kakuzu. "Come," Sasori ordered.
They went to the back to the Room of Requirement. The rest of the children were gathering there.
"So, Sasori, she figured it out?" asked Yahiko. Nagato smacked him over the head, hissing something in another language to him. "Geez, I was just asking! It's not like we're not gonna resolve this after we find out what she knows. So, uh, what do you know?"
"I looked in a crystal ball, and I saw this map," said Luna, unrolling her scroll, "and I saw all of you as adults, wearing black cloaks with red clouds, being violent."
"And you saw this in a crystal ball?" asked Konan, impressed. "I was under the impression that fortune telling is very imprecise."
"It is, if you're not good," said Luna. "Our teacher, for example, is not good. But I have some talent in Seeing, and so I was able to see you. Who are you? You're not really children, so why are you here?"
"Would you believe us if we said it was an accident?" asked Yahiko.
"Yes," said Luna.
"Wait – you would?" asked Yahiko, surprised.
"Magic is a strange thing," said Luna. "What happened to Zetsu? It sounded like he turned bad."
Nagato's eyes narrowed. "Where did you hear that?"
"I was spying on you," Luna admitted. "You are a very curious group. It sounds like you need help getting into the Ministry."
"The what?" asked Yahiko.
"The Ministry of Magic," said Luna. "The United Kingdom's magical government."
"How did you hear that?" asked Konan.
"It's a secret," said Luna.
"Tell us," demanded Nagato.
"I keep my own secrets, just like you keep your own," said Luna. "It wouldn't be fair to take credit for the method, though. I didn't make it up."
"So…she knows a lot," said Kisame. "What are we gonna do?"
"Wipe her memory, un!" Deidara exclaimed.
"You like to blow things up a lot," Luna said, pointing to him. "And you," she said as she pointed to Sasori, "like to make weapon puppets. That's what you do every night when you come down to carve, isn't it? And you, Konan, can make paper wings. And Hidan, you have a giant red, three-pronged scythe that you use to kill people. Kisame, you have a giant, bandaged sword. Zetsu has a giant green thing that he wears. Oh, and you all wear big black cloaks with red clouds on them."
"Damn, she definitely knows too much," said Yahiko. "Look, we really don't want to do this, but we're gonna have to wipe your memory."
"But if you do, you won't be able to get to the Ministry of Magic," said Luna. "I can show you where the Thestrals are, and I can tell you where it is. Besides, who would believe me if I bothered to tell anyone?"
"Hermione," said Itachi.
"Who would believe her?" asked Luna. "After all, it seems rather far-fetched to accuse you all of coming from another land, and that you have lost your adult appearances. Plus, I can help you think of a way to hide Zetsu's disappearance."
"We can take care of that," said Konan. "Aside from him, your friends and your meddling into our affairs is becoming annoying."
"I can steer Hermione away from you," Luna said. "After all, you are entitled to your ways, just as I am entitled to mine."
"Give us a minute," Yahiko said, and then he and the others started talking in their foreign language. Luna patiently waited, admiring the Oriental-looking decorations of the room. Five minutes later, after a lot of talking and even some shouting, Yahiko turned to her. "We're gonna let you go, but we're gonna be keeping an eye on you. If you drop any sort of hint to anyone, we'll wipe your memory. And you'd better carry through on what you promised us. Keep Hermione off our backs, and get us a way to go to the Ministry of Magic."
Luna nodded. "It's a deal. I am really interested in your culture, though. Would you mind if I met with you and asked you questions?"
"I would mind," said Kakuzu. "I'm having nothing to do with you."
"Tobi will answer questions, if Luna can keep them secret," said Tobi.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Nagato warned.
"I'll keep an eye on him," said Itachi. "I'll make sure he says nothing important."
"You trust her?" Nagato asked.
"My eyes can take care of any problems," said Itachi, adjusting his glasses.
"Can we call this issue resolved?" asked Yahiko.
"Yes," said Luna. "I will do what I can for you guys, ok?"
"I still don't think this is a good idea," Nagato muttered as they left.
Ok, that covered a lot of information. Whew! I hope it makes up somewhat for my extremely delayed update. I don't usually do teasers, but I'll give you a little peak at what's coming up, since I made you wait so long. Luna has to get Hermione, Fred, and George to leave Akatsuki alone, Kisame needs to choose which side of Akatsuki he's on, Itachi needs to be officially cured, and Akatsuki will definitely be present at the Ministry battle. Plus, look forward to more torment for Umbridge and Filch! This will not all be in the next chapter, but it will be coming…
Not that any of you care, but I recently got into Hetalia. …I will forever think of nations in their Hetalia personifications. I did it through the whole Olympics.
And more random things that happen in my life that you don't care about: my AP Biology teacher has a necklace with what looks suspiciously like the Uzumaki clan symbol on it. I haven't approached her yet about it, but to think that my crazy science teacher might be a fellow Naruto lover!
Leave me your comments, ideas, and opinions so that I can a nice chapter ready for you soon (or at least not after months).
Until then :)