ii.
Chapter Thirty: Sphere
"Pain doesn't listen to reason, it has its own reason, which is not reasonable." -Milan Kundera
"The priceless art of their lives, sorrow is a wing laid atop their heads. Skin deep, we carve our immeasurable sorrow in the fold of your shivering arms." -Hedon, Dark Tranquility
They were soaring over the deep ravine that had thick ancient roots crisscrossing from one side to the next. They oozed ambient chakra in their old age, a great interconnected network that slipped from one tree to the next seamlessly. Nanami wished they had the time to stop so she could walk along them, brush against them and see what such long-lived chakra had to say.
It was these roots that Kakashi and Naruto were using to chase after them.
"Tch." Deidara scoffed looking down, and then over at Nanami. "If we can separate them, we might have the opportunity to capture the Kyuubi." and Nanami couldn't help but notice that it sounded more like a question than a statement.
She shook her head sadly. "It won't happen this time." Burning Earth's chakra spiked in a show of irritation, his face morphing into a frown.
"You're sure?" He asked, his blue eye boring into her with an intensity born from his pride warring with what she assumed was his desire to keep her out of an unnecessary battle. Deidara looked back down at the pair chasing them, specifically the silver haired jounin.
Hatake Kakashi was not someone to take lightly.
She nodded again, but felt relieved that he was taking her word for it. The situation could go downhill very quickly if Deidara decided going after Naruto would be worth the risk. She knew with certainty that it wouldn't go well for them, at all.
"We can't give up the chase yet though," She told him. "If we drop Gaara now they'll head back towards Sasori and he already has his hands full."
Burning Earth gave her a startled look which she missed as she watched Naruto's red eyes glare up at them, bouncing from one root to the next, his sensei hot on his heels.
"That pink haired brat and the old lady? Have more faith Nanami-chan Sasori no danna is better than that, un."
Nanami was not surprised to hear the surety in his voice. For all the artist duo bickered- for all that every Akatsuki team bickered really, each of them had a sort of comradery with their partners.
But Nanami knew.
She let out a soft breath, wanting to believe in False Pieces as much as Burning Earth did, but it was difficult.
Deidara looked into his clay bag and scowled fiercely. "I'm almost out of clay, un." He told her unhappily.
"I can help." She offered, eyeing the heavy ambient chakra that swirled about the roots.
Deidara gave her a searching look. "Do what you can, un. Just… try to keep out of danger this time, alright?" He said with no small amount of exasperation while reaching into his bag to pull out a handful of the explosive substance.
She grinned at him agreeably.
Nanami tilted her head at the sound of an explosion behind them, she looked over the birds tail feathers to see a cloud of dust and debris rising into the air from the cave they left behind.
She clenched her fist against the soft clay she sat on.
Please be okay...
Nanami looked down to see Naruto and Kakashi were yelling to each other but she couldn't hear over the wind in her ears.
"Their planning something, un." Deidara said over her shoulder, she nodded in agreement. "Can we speed up, let's get them as far away from Sasori as possible."
"Un." He agreed, and they shot forward at a renewed pace.
There was something going on with Kakashi's chakra. It made her... uncomfortable.
"Somethings going on down there…" She murmured, and Deidara shifted at her side. Nanami turned her attention to her senses, stretching as far as she could reach.
"Sasori is out of my range now…" She realized aloud.
"Un, we're probably far enough to drop the body." and she nodded in agreement. No point risking whatever Kakashi was up to when they were only stalling for Sasori. Nanami could at least do that much for him.
Their bird continued straight even as the ravine made a sharp turn, and they crossed into a thick copse of trees. It was then the air began to shimmer around Deidara, full to the brim with Kakashi's chakra.
"What the hell!" Deidara's startled tone made her heart beat too fast in her chest and she took only a second longer as reality around her Red Cloud began to fold in on itself. Light, air, the clay of the bird and Deidara couldn't escape its swirl.
Nanami turned back towards the edge of the bird to see the man responsible leaping from a tree branch, staring up at the blond man with an unblinking red eye.
"Mangekyou bullshit!" She cursed at him, rising to her full (not very intimidating) height and flinging her arms out infront of her. She could sense Naruto's blazing supernova like chakra signature circling around and attempting to come at their side, but her immediate concern was the jerk in front of her and his stupid cheating eyeball.
Chakra strings burst from her fingertips, two long whip like entities that she used to lash out at the branch Kakashi was about to land on.
It moved out from under him just as his foot was about to touch down, and with nothing to gain purchase with the Jounin's gaze broke away from Deidara as he stumbled and fell through the air.
Kakashi's hands grasped another twisting root and swung himself back into the air, but it was enough. His jutsu was broken for the moment and that was all they needed.
"Drop the ichibi!" Nanami turned to Deidara who was on his knees panting with wide eyes from the near miss of being sucked into empty space.
"Un." He nodded, and there was a cracking sound as the jaws of the clay bird snapped open, the body of the Kazekage fell from its grasp to the ground below only to have Naruto flash from his position beneath them to catch him out of the air.
They kept their forward flight, leaving Naruto far behind in moments. Neither him or Kakashi gave chase as they crowded around Gaara's unresponsive form. They should be far enough ahead in a few minutes that it wouldn't matter even if they did.
She let out a relieved breath. Nanami didn't think they would survive a head on fight with a mangekyou sharingan.
Even so, she knew this wouldn't be the last time she saw Naruto and his sensei.
Her gaze traveled back the way they'd come, and she hoped Sasori's fight with the medic had gone well.
Still, she couldn't fight the sinking sensation of dread in her belly.
Something didn't feel right.
"We need to circle back around, we're headed in the wrong direction, un." Deidara told her, and she looked over at his crouched form to see the sunlight brightening his already long blond hair. Nanami nodded in agreement.
"Can we check on Sasori?" Deidara's blue eye flashed over to catch her brown ones, and his brow furrowed at her tone of voice. He knew her well enough to know when she was worried about something, and that certainly didn't bode well for their puppet master.
"Un." He agreed with a slow nod.
When they passed over the chakra signatures of Sakura and Chiyo heading towards Naruto and Kakashi, Nanami felt the coils of dread in her belly grow spikes.
She had never experienced a sinking sensation so through that she became keenly aware of the dilation of her pupils, the rush of blood in her ears, and an awful buzzing beneath her skin.
She thought mildly from somewhere within her own head that maybe she was having a panic attack. She tampered it down with a fierceness. Now was not the time.
"We just passed the medic and the old woman." Nanami breathed to Deidara, and when he turned to her she saw the flash of panic she felt inside herself mirror in him.
His mouth turned hard in a grim line. His eyes flat.
Their bird beat its wings viciously at the sky and they catapulted through the air towards the cave at a renewed speed.
Nanami thought that she should probably be able to feel Sasori's signature by now.
She couldn't.
Her breathing picked up, and her eyes strung. She reached out to pull the collar of her shirt over her nose and mouth in an attempt to keep herself from hyperventilating as a pressing sense of urgency swept through her. Demanding, the feeling was so demanding it was liked a sucker punch to the gut.
For all that Nanami knew she certainly wasn't prepared.
Within another thirty minutes they were making easy descending circles over the top of the ruined cave, the roof had collapsed inwards, there were puppets everywhere, wooden bodies piled atop wooden bodies, clothed in red and white fabrics, sealing script scrawled across the floor and walls.
The place was an absolute train wreck.
Nanami leapt off the bird, impatient and not willing to wait the extra fifteen seconds for it to touch down fully. Deidara was hot on her heels, and she could feel the anger boiling in his chakra.
Her feet touched the crumbling stone and bits of it scattered away rolling into others as her bare feet hit them.
"Sasori!" Nanami called, eyes sweeping the carnage. She knew he wasn't here, she knew he wouldn't respond. Her chakra sense had never lied to her before. Somehow she wished it was. She wished she was so flawed in this moment that her senses were nothing more than a lie.
She spotted his redheaded body pinned to the wall by a giant head with a wide mouth and far too many teeth.
His chest was empty, lacking the cylinder that contained his heart; but his hand bore his Akatsuki ring. 'Sphere' it read.
She knew he wouldn't ever leave it behind. The rings were too important. She made her way around puppets and discarded weapons to reach his side.
Nanami gently slid the ring from his finger, feeling the cold metal in her palm.
Her heart broke.
She had no one to blame but herself in this, she knew.
She should have stayed to help. Should have gone over more details with him, she should have tried harder to sway them away from the search for the jinchuuriki (Even if that was god impossible.) She should have… should have… something. Anything.
Something wet dripped into her hand over the ring in her palm, and she realized she was crying.
"Crap." She sobbed quietly even as she scrubbed violently at her eyes with her dirty forearm.
"Nanami." Deidara called her, and she turned at the sound of his flat, empty voice.
She made her way back over to him, to find him crouched over three puppets in the center of a mass of black sealing script emblazoned on the floor.
It was Sasori's secondary body, his heart impaled on either side by two swords.
Nanami sank to the ground slowly. Her eyes held to her brother's pierced heart as if it were the only thing that existed in the universe. His red hair lifted gently on a breeze and it swayed around his features softly.
"False Pieces." She whispered brokenly, placing her hands on the cold stone in front of her and bowing her head. Deidara flashed her a look that she didn't see, he would be the first and only Red Cloud to ever hear her name for Sasori.
"You knew." He whispered accusingly.
Her eyes widened and she looked up at him, curling her little hands into fists on top on the ground and the tears began anew. Because it was true. She had known… she knew the whole time… and the accusation and fury in his voice was real enough to shred what little composure she had been maintaining.
Deidara's blue eye burned into her, and he reached up and tore the eye enhancement from undeath his bangs, he stood in a lightning fast movement and chucked it as hard as he could across the cave, she heard it smash into a wall and many little metal pieces plink onto the floor after.
Nanami sat still on the ground, watching him with wide tearful eyes. He was breathing hard, he wouldn't look at her.
"You. Knew." He said again through clenched teeth. His chakra thrashed about, and she could feel his desire to lash out at her within it. Nanami said nothing, because she had no words to offer him.
If he hated her now for this failure then it was only fair. It was her fault.
Burning Earth was hurt, and for him that translated into anger. Nanami understood this, she knew Deidara well. And even though his words only added to her pain, she felt something akin to relief well beneath the layers distress, because if he blamed her, it might help ease his pain. If he blamed her, then he wouldn't blame himself.
She wished she could spare him this. (She wishes she could spare herself this, but it was her burden to bear, right from the very beginning this was always to be her burden.)
Deidara turned, blond hair swaying around his profile, and stomped towards his bird, he swung himself onto it and the clay construct pushed off and soared into the air.
Leaving her behind without another thought.
She watched him go, her heart beating too fast, the dead body of her beloved friend before her, his chakra gone, his life taken away.
And she was utterly helpless to stop it.
She was alone, and it was quiet. (The silence had returned, like an old friend ready to embrace her like it had never left at all.) The sun warmed the back of her neck, and the stone was cold beneath her crumpled legs.
Nothing mattered in this moment, except Sasori before her, and the quiet that swathed her small body in layers.
Nanami would never watch hundreds of his chakra strings dance between each other in the comfortable companionship of late afternoons again. Hear him bicker with Deidara over nothing, listen to him talk with that confident inflection that always demanded attention no matter what he said. He had always chosen his words so carefully...
He would never rest chocolate brown eyes on her again. His hand would never ruffle her hair, and he would never offer another clipped word of praise.
Because he was dead. Akasuna no Sasori no longer existed in this world, and Nanami had failed to keep him here. (Failed. She had failed.)
Something was growing inside her, something she had always known was there but always pushed to the very back of her mind. A gaping maw of emptiness. Here she was, the thing she feared most had come to pass, and she was not surprised. She knew.
She was going to have to watch all of them die. (She was going to watch all of them live.)
Nanami existed in this world as a witness to their lives, and despite her best efforts the thing she had always known but hoped against was confirmed.
There was nothing she could do. She couldn't change the course of what was to be.
Oh. Oh, merciful gods, she really was going to have to watch them die.
She sobbed hard and crawled forward as the sun began to set and pushed the two puppets on either side of him away. She snarled at them through wet tears, wishing she could blame Konoha in this.
Somehow, she just couldn't do it. "Bleeding Heart" Deidara's voice resounded in her mind, only it held that tone full of blame now when she remembered the words.
Nanami gently slid the swords from his heart, and cried harder when his face didn't contort or flinch in pain.
"Sasori." She told his corpse. "I love you, brother." She murmured into red hair, clutching his empty shell close. He still smelled like herbs and wood shavings.
"Aw, that is so sweet!" A childish voice said behind her, and she stiffened ramrod straight and clutched Sasori harder, as if she could shield his much larger body with her small one from the chakra signature that had swirled to life behind her out of nowhere. "Are you Sasori-senpai's little sister? I didn't know Akatsuki had any little girls! Oh! Oh! Hey- we should play games together!" The voice continued in an excited rush.
"Child." and she turned to her other side because she recognized Zetsu's voice at least. He was watching her with half a face full of disgust and the other half empty of all expression. "Where is Sasori's ring." He asked flatly.
She felt the questioned metal burn in her palm as she squeezed it tighter against Sasori's back.
"Oh! Oh! I'll check on this body over here!" A sing-song voice cried, and Nanami felt the curiosity burning in his chakra despite his flippant attitude.
Nanami closed her eyes, refusing to look over at the disembodied voice, she didn't need to look to know who it was.
"I have it." She told Zetsu quietly. He nodded in acceptance.
"You do?! Why didn't you just say so! Let's get out of this place it smells funny." and the curiosity seemed to sharpen on her as he spoke.
Did he not know about her?
Oh, gods. She didn't have the energy to deal with him right now.
Nanami gave one last look to Sasori, and gently slid her fingers over his already closed eyelids. She laid him down on the ground, wishing she could provide him a proper burial but knew that choice wasn't up to her.
"Upsadaisy!" and there was a black gloved hand snaking around her middle, and suddenly she was choking on chakra- so much chakra it surrounded her and smothered her in its cloying thickness. It filled her nose and mouth and made her eyes water for more reasons than just the clawing despair Sasori's death had wrought.
It swirled around her, compressing, spinning madly until she popped out of reality. She was distinctly reminded of something much too large being squeezed and forced through a much too small hole, only with a whole lot more turning and spinning involved.
It was miserable.