CHAPTER EIGHT

"I hate to admit it, but Greg really has composed... what was it you said, a banger?"

Amethyst nodded, absently swaying along to the tune that could just be heard leaking from Peridot's headphones. "It's a banger, all right." Then she frowned down at the unconscious green gem. "But I don't know if it's working, it's been on repeat for like, an hour now. How long should we leave it on for?"

Pearl drummed her fingers thoughtfully on her chin. "Well, if it isn't working, there's nothing we can do about it until Greg comes back from the hospital."

Amethyst nodded and then gave Peridot a stern look. "OK, P-dot, if this doesn't work, I'm afraid it's back to the 'Best of 1984' for you. Geez, we started at 1950," she added to herself. "You've been asleep for 34 years now."

"What!?" Peridot sat bolt upright and stared at Amethyst in horror.

Amethyst promptly responded with a piercing scream and punched her in the face before she could stop herself. "Oh my God! Oh shit! Fuck! Sorry!"

Pearl reacted slightly more sensibly and pulled Amethyst out of reach before she could do any more damage. "Get some ice, then get Garnet. In that order. Are you all right?" she asked, turning back to Peridot, eyes wide with disbelief. Behind her, Amethyst hurled herself off the loft in her haste to do as she was told.

"Whad dib she meam, thirdy-four years?" Peridot demanded, ignoring both the question and the blood dripping from her swollen nose. "I've missed the Bite Club finale!?" Another more serious thought occurred to her and her eyes filled with tears. "Steben will be old! I wab supposed to be dere-"

"It hasn't been 34 years!" Pearl rushed to reassure her. "Amethyst was referring to the music she was playing for you, that's all. Are you all right?" she asked again urgently. "How are you feeling? Any nausea? Pain? Other than your nose," she added as Peridot glared at her.

"I feel... fine," Peridot noted, absently dabbing at her nose with a corner of the blanket, much to Pearl's disgust. "Much better. Ober than by dose," she acknowledged.

"Hmm." Pearl narrowed her eyes. "You do still have the spots though. You should keep the headphones on for now. Just in- what is that?" she asked warily as Amethyst returned with something wrapped in a towel.

"Peas. From the freezer," Amethyst said, holding the bundle out towards Peridot.

Pearl snatched it away at once, scandalized. "You can't use food, it'll get contaminated!" She stomped down the stairs and a few moments later, they heard the sound of the freezer door slamming and then the warp pad chimed as Pearl warped to the North in search of actual ice.

Amethyst huffed and then turned back to Peridot. "Sorry about your nose. You made me jump, I wasn't expecting you to wake up so soon."

Peridot narrowed her eyes suspiciously. That sounded promising, but then again, considering how long all the other gems had been corrupted, 'so soon' could just as easily mean twenty years. "How long wab I corrubted?"

"About a week and a half," Amethyst replied.

"Oh." Peridot relaxed slightly. That wasn't too bad at all. Not even enough time for the Royal Romances Winter Special to air. She dabbed at her nose again and then paused and looked around, finally realizing where she was. "Where's Steben?"

xxx

Steven turned a slow circle in front of the mirror and nodded solemnly. "As I suspected, I have not suddenly grown two inches taller and six inches wider overnight, and my suit still fits just as well as it did when we checked yesterday."

"To be fair," Connie said cheerfully, "That sort of thing has happened to you before, especially around emotionally charged events. And what could be a more emotionally charged event than your wedding?"

"That's true," he admitted with a grin. A grin that got even wider when he remembered that he was getting married in the morning. "I'm getting married in the morning!"

"You're getting married in the morning!" Connie repeated with glee, and they grabbed hands and jumped around for a moment before they were forced to stop in case Steven accidentally jumped them through the roof. "Ahhh I'm so happy for you both! I wanna get married now as well!"

Steven gasped loudly. "You should totally do that! You should ask Alice right now and we could have a double wedding tomorrow!"

Connie laughed. "Tomorrow's probably a bit soon for us to get married. But I could propose." She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Would I be stealing your thunder if I put a ring in the bouquet and Peridot threw it to Alice?"

"You wouldn't be stealing our thunder, you'd be sharing it," he said emphatically. "Do you wanna go look at rings after we're done here?"

"I shouldn't." Connie paused. "But I will."

She waited for him to change back into his regular clothes and then they began walking through the town, towards the jewelry stores. "What time are Sadie and Lars arriving?" she asked, pressing her nose against the glass window.

Steven glanced at his phone. "I've got about an hour before I have to start heading back."

"Plenty of time then," Connie said happily.

"Are you sure?" he said a little doubtfully. "It took me ages to pick-"

"I want that one," Connie interrupted, pointing at a simple ring in the middle of the display. She marched inside and reappeared a few minutes later, holding the little box in her hands. "I can't believe I'm actually going to do this!"

"It's going to be so cool," Steven said happily. "Come on, let's go back now and tell Peridot."

Back at the beach house, chaos reigned. Down on the sand, Amethyst and Jasper were struggling to put up an enormous marquee while Pearl stood to one side to let them know everything they were doing was wrong. A little further along, Lapis was making ice sculptures with her water powers. Steven gave her a wave, and then had to jump to avoid a flood of weeds that had suddenly popped up at his feet.

"Sorry!" One of the recently freed Rose Quartzes sped past him and started frantically stomping on the blossoms. "Not used to having plant powers. Still getting the hang of-"

"I got this." Centipeedle, uncorrupted and totally healed, opened her mouth and spat acid at the plants until all that was left was a steaming greasy smudge on the ground. "Try again now."

"You're kidding me, right?" The Rose Quartz looked at the mess in dismay. "How am I supposed to make anything grow out of that!?"

Steven and Connie left them to their argument and climbed the stairs to the beach house where Steven took a moment to marvel again at the changes to the interior. Bismuth had done some tinkering to the internal structure, and now the inside was at least twenty times bigger than the outside. Somehow that still didn't seem to be enough room for all the chairs. Bismuth evidently agreed, and was hammering at one of the walls with a shapeshifted arm, trying to push it further back. "Hey," she greeted, waving at them with her other hand. "If you're looking for your fiancee, she's in the back, going over the seating plans."

"Again?" He shook his head and walked swiftly down the aisle towards the door at the other end. It was slightly ajar, and so he knocked gently on it before pushing it open fully. "Peridot?"

"Steven!" Peridot's tired eyes lit up at the sight of him. She tossed a handful of notecards onto the table in front of her, jumped to her feet and ran towards him. "You have to help me!"

He laughed and opened his arms, allowing her to fall into his embrace. "What's the problem? I thought we got all the seating sorted three days ago?"

"We did," she said, her voice muffled by his chest. "And then you healed another thirty gems." She tilted her face up and gave him an accusatory glare. "And White Diamond has just sent word that her 'plus one' will in fact be a 'plus twelve'."

"Oh dear." Connie grimaced in sympathy. "I can see how that would mess up the arrangements a bit."

Peridot nodded glumly. "I have been working on this for three hours now."

"So..." Steven began. "Is this perhaps a bad time to ask if Connie can put an engagement ring in the bouquet so she can propose to Alice?"

Connie groaned and massaged her temples. "Are you quite sure you want to marry him?"

Peridot narrowed her eyes and studied them both for a moment. "Help me fix this mess and you can put as many rings as you like in the bouquet."

"Just the one is fine," Connie said, but she pulled up a chair obediently.

They worked for an hour, and just as they were finishing up, they heard a commotion from the other room. "Ah, that must be Lars and Sadie," Steven exclaimed.

Sure enough, Lars and Sadie were stood just inside the house, staring around open-mouthed. "Oh! Steven, hi!" Sadie called when she caught sight of him, "Wow, look at this place!"

"Instead of paying me for this wedding cake, can you send whoever did this to expand our apartment?" Lars asked, only half-joking.

"I think your landlord might have some objections," Steven pointed out.

"That's a bummer." Lars pouted and shifted his infant daughter from one hip to the other. "There's room for us, and room for all of Janey-Lee's baby crud, but not both."

"Don't worry, he's exaggerating," Sadie said in a loud whisper. "Come on, give her here and show Steven and Peridot their cake. Come on, Janey, come to momma." She held out her arms and Lars handed the baby over. "Oof, you're getting big now!"

"Baaaababababa," Janey-Lee said solemnly, and then blew a raspberry in her mother's face.

"Oh, she's so cute," Connie sighed. "Can I hold her?"

"Sure. Let me just..."

The two of them moved aside, talking quietly among themselves. Steven stared at Janey-Lee for a moment, and then shook his head and turned his attention back to Lars, who was now reaching into the portal in his head. "Ta-da," he said proudly, removing an enormous cake box that was easily four times as big as his skull. "I'll be keeping it in here until tomorrow," he said, carefully removing the lid. "The atmosphere in there is great for keeping stuff fresh."

"Yeah, I used to put the grocery shopping in Lion's mane," Steven agreed. "Only problem was, he'd sometimes vanish for like, a month. With the shopping- oh wow, that's amazing!"

"Ooooh," Peridot breathed beside him. "It's beautiful."

Lars blushed with pleasure as the happy couple admired his creation, a four tier cake designed to look like a geode. Pink crystals on one side and green on the other, meeting in the middle to form a greeny-brown cluster that represented their Tourmaline fusion. "It's no big deal, it looks more complicated than it is-"

"Don't sell yourself short, Lars," Steven scolded. "It's gorgeous and we love it and we love you for making it for us."

"Oh, well in that case, it was very tricky and complex and not many bakers would be able to pull it off," Lars bragged. "So if you know anyone else who might be needing a fancy cake any time soon, give them my number. Seriously though," he added sternly, "Give them my number, I need the money to get my business up and running so I can keep my daughter in diapers."

"Will do," Steven promised. He watched as Lars walked back over to Sadie and Connie and took back his daughter, and made a mental note to pass that message on to Connie. Maybe he could even offer to hire Lars's services as a wedding present. "Great cake, right?" he said to Peridot.

"Great," she confirmed, a small frown on her face. "Small query. Do the new gems know about cake that looks like rocks, or should I go and educate them before they start panicking when we cut it open?"

"Ooh, good point. Go on. I'll finalize the seating arrangements." But instead of heading back to the room, he found himself making his way over to join his friends again. Lars was pretending to be cross with Janey-Lee, and every time he spoke sternly to her, she laughed and kicked her chubby little legs with delight.

"Isn't she adorable?" a familiar voice said behind him, and he turned around to see Pink Diamond staring at the child, a wistful look upon her face. "It so exciting to think one day she'll stop being small and she'll grow up and start walking and talking. Her life's going to be full of so many possibilities." She sighed. "She's so lucky to be a human being." She reached down and ruffled his hair. "Just like you."

"Uh. Yeah." A strange sense of deja-vu washed over him and he frowned and moved away slightly, but Pink Diamond didn't seem to notice. Instead, she leaned down and started pulling faces at the baby until they were both in fits of laughter. "Hey," he said quietly, pulling Connie aside. "Do you want to come and sort out this ring now?"

The next few hours passed in a blur of wedding prep, but finally, just as the sun was setting, everything came together. He stepped outside and looked around at the marquee, now up to Pearl's standards. Beautiful flowers decorated the supports and ice statues dotted the sand. Gems stood around, chatting to each other and he smiled to see everybody getting along. It was something he'd never thought he'd see.

He yawned widely and rubbed his eyes. It had been a long day, and tomorrow was going to be even longer. It might be wise to get an early night. He said goodnight to a few people, and then retired to the new room he shared with Peridot. He'd just closed his eyes when he heard the door open and close again and soft footsteps padded across the floor towards him. "Hi," Peridot whispered softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Can I join you?"

Steven smiled. "It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding," he murmured.

"Then close your eyes again," she scolded at once.

Steven laughed but did as he was told. A moment later, she slipped between the covers and snuggled close to his side. He rolled over slightly and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, and then began idly twirling her hair between his fingers. "Just think. Tomorrow you'll be Mrs Universe."

"Mmm." He felt her smile. "I can't wait."

"Me neither." He yawned sleepily. "Tomorrow's going to be the best day of our lives..."

xxx

A knock on the door awoke him and he opened his eyes to see Connie poke her head around the door frame. "Hey, are you decent? Hurry up and get dressed," she continued before he could answer. "You've got your suit fitting in an hour."

He sat up slowly, blinking in confusion. "Didn't I do that yesterday?"

"Yeah, but you're getting married tomorrow," she reminded him. "They need to check you haven't grown six inches overnight or something."

He immediately ignored the strange woozy feeling in the back of his head and jumped out of bed at once. It wasn't important. He had too much to do. He was getting married tomorrow.