CHAPTER FIFTEEN.

For several seconds, Peridot didn't react. Then she tilted her head sideways slightly and and rubbed her ear. "I'm sorry, I must have made an error during my reformation, I thought you just said-"

"Pink Diamond was my mom," Steven repeated quietly.

"Right. Not an error then." She frowned and shook her head. "But... I don't understand, I though Rose Quartz was your mom?"

"Ah. Yes, she is." Steven let out a short, humorless laugh and nodded. "Yeah, it turns out Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond all along. They're the same person. Same gem."

"What?" Peridot said blankly. She was hearing the words, but none of them made any sense. She was almost inclined to think he was lying to her, except that actually made even less sense. But Rose Quartz couldn't be Pink Diamond, it wasn't possible! "But- that means-" Her gaze fell upon his belly. The round, pink gem was hidden behind another one of his usual pale red starry t-shirts, but she could still picture it perfectly in her mind. "No, that's- I'm a certified kindergarten technician, I'd know," she stammered... but even as she spoke, doubts started creeping in.

After all, it wasn't as if she'd ever had the opportunity to examine any other Diamond or Rose Quartz gems. The only time she'd ever really been face-to-face with Yellow Diamond had been when she'd contacted her on the Diamond line, and she hadn't exactly been paying much attention to her gem. As for Rose Quartzes... they weren't made in the Homeworld kindergartens. They weren't made anywhere across the empire. Until she met Steven, she hadn't even known they existed. The only other known Rose Quartzes in existence were all bubbled and contained at the zoo, and she'd never seen them herself. But still... "The- the shape's all wrong," she blustered. "The resemblance..."

Steven grimaced and looked down at himself in distaste. "Apparently, it's rotated," he said flatly. "The pointy bit's jammed inside me. The bit we can see, that's the top." He shook his head. "I can't tell if it was just a coincidence that it happened to look exactly like a Rose Quartz gem from that angle, or if she deliberately designed them to look like the top of her gem." One of his hands brushed the fabric of his shirt and then recoiled. "Good thing they didn't x-ray me in hospital or anything, huh? That would've been an awkward way to find out."

Peridot opened her mouth and then shut it again. Her head was full of questions, and they'd all got jammed trying to come out at once. "Wha- how did-" She shook her head and tried again. "Explain, please. From the beginning. How did you find out?"

"It's a long story," Steven said with a loaded sigh, and he sat down heavily on the sofa.

Peridot shrugged and sat down next to him. "I'm in no rush," she said quietly, and reached for his hand. He glanced down at their entwined fingers for a moment and then gave her a wan smile.

"OK... so I'm guessing when you pushed me out of the way, it was 'cause you remembered me saying I'd been stabbed from behind and my gem got shattered, right?" he began.

Peridot nodded. "You said you didn't see them, but you assumed it was your mother. Am I correct in saying that wasn't the case?" She was pretty sure she could already guess the identity of her unseen assassin though. Rose Quartz would've needed an accomplice to carry out her deception, and she could only think of one person unwaveringly devoted enough to go along with such an insane plan.

Sure enough, Steven confirmed her suspicions a second later. "It was Pearl," he said with a shiver. "I didn't understand why though, 'cause everyone swore my mom had done it. I mean, there were witnesses! It happened like, in front of her whole court! And nobody said anything about Pearl- hell, when I was on trial, my Zircon lawyer even asked where Pink's Pearl was. So when they all got back from Mask Island, I asked her if she had anything to do with Pink Diamond being shattered. But..."

He frowned and Peridot looked quizzically up at him. She was dying to know how he'd found out the truth; she couldn't imagine that Pearl would simply confess after keeping a secret like that for so long, but she didn't want to rush him, so she gave his hand a gentle squeeze and forced herself to remain patient.

"It was weird," he said finally. "It was like she wanted to tell me, but she just kept covering her mouth up with her hands until Garnet and Amethyst showed up, then they started asking about you and I had to try and explain what had happened. I came in here in the end, just to get away from them... and then I got a text message from her saying she wanted to talk but she couldn't."

"A text- Pearl has a cell phone?" Peridot blurted out in surprise, and then screwed up her nose, annoyed with herself for getting distracted by such a silly detail, but Steven smiled slightly.

"She brought one a couple of years ago," he explained, leaning against her for a moment. "But she never really used it. To be honest, I'd forgotten she even had it too." And then he went on to explain how Pearl had sent him in search of her missing phone, and what he'd witnessed inside her head. "-And then she gave me the phone, shapeshifted into Rose, and stabbed Pink Diamond with the sword. The fake gem fragments she'd swallowed made it look like her gem had been shattered, but really, Pearl just had it hidden behind her back," he finished.

He paused and then opened his mouth to tell her what had happened after that, but Peridot had assumed his silence meant he was done speaking, and cut in with a question of her own that had been bothering her for the last few minutes. "Wait, so when you said Pearl said she couldn't talk, she meant it literally?" she asked, her eyes wide with horror.

"Uh, yeah. Guess that final order was like an Unbreakable Vow or something," Steven said, looking slightly revolted. "Even after Mom was gone, she couldn't just tell me. And I remember she tried, back when I came home after being on trial, she really tried, but I didn't notice, 'cause Connie wasn't speaking to me and I was being a shit about it."

But could Rose have told anyone, Peridot wondered. A sudden rush of pity washed over her, she'd assumed at first that Pearl had kept her secret of her own free will, out of loyalty and love. Maybe she'd even felt proud at being trusted with something so huge. But being forced to keep silent, even though it could've stopped Steven making his stupid self-sacrifice a few years ago...

Well, it certainly explained a lot about Pearl.

"Yeah," Steven said softly, making her jump. She hadn't realized she said that aloud. "No wonder she freaked out about Lion. She spent thousands of years keeping Mom's true identity secret from her closest friends, and then Mom didn't even bother to tell her about her secret lion." He nibbled at his lip, pulling at a bit of loose skin there, trying to work up the nerve to say what had been on his mind all night. "It made me think... maybe..." He gulped and tried again. "There- there was a pretty big power imbalance between them, what with Mom being Pink Diamond and like, literally owning her and giving her orders she couldn't ever break even after she was gone, and I- I don't want us-" His voice cracked slightly, but he forced himself to keep talking. "I don't want you and me to be like them-"

Peridot stared at him, suddenly numb with fear, each word a punch to the gut. "You want us to-" She paused and licked her icy lips. "To-" She shook her head. She couldn't bring herself to say it. If he was going to do this to her, he was going to have to say the words himself.

"I don't want to break up with you," he whispered, looking down again at their entwined fingers so she couldn't see the tears in his eyes again. "I love you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. But I... I thought maybe you might want to break up with me. Because..." He steeled himself and then forced himself to look her in the eyes, which hurt a lot because they were wide and shiny with tears of her own. "If I ever gave you an order and forced you to be with me, believe me, it was completely unintentional, and- and I'm setting you free."

He waited for her face to twist with loathing and disgust as whatever fake feelings he'd inadvertently forced upon her suddenly vanished, for her to snatch her hands out of his and slap him... what he didn't expect was for her to stare at him for several seconds longer and then start laughing.

"You- you stupid- you absolute CLOD!" She did snatch her hand back, but then she flung her arms around him, taking him entirely by surprise and knocking him back among the sofa cushions. "You big, stupid, cloddy clod!"

"Uh..." He looked down at her, then at his reflection in the darkened TV screen. Yep, that Steven looked just as baffled as he was. "What?"

Peridot let out a snorty, snuffly laugh and then sat up and wiped her eyes. "Steven, I disobeyed a direct order from my diamond, Yellow Diamond, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Besides," she added, holding up a hand as he opened his mouth to protest, "it sounds as though this power is one that has to be used consciously, there's no way you could've forced any of us to obey you by accident."

It was something he'd desperately wanted to hear, but he still couldn't quite bring himself to believe it just yet. "So... so you still love me?" he checked.

"Yes, I still love you," she said firmly. "And I have done so long before you ever said you loved me."

"Even though I'm kinda sorta technically Pink Diamond?" he double-checked.

That was something Peridot hadn't actually really thought about, and she immediately decided she'd do that later, after she'd reassured Steven it didn't matter. Which was probably a backwards way of doing things, but he'd obviously been obsessing about this while she was gone and she didn't want to make things worse right now. "I don't care if your gem is a Rose Quartz, a Diamond, or- or Talc! I love you, Steven Universe," she said, gazing up at him as she spoke, hoping he could see how deeply she meant it. "This doesn't change who you are."

Steven bit his lip. He wanted to believe her so badly, but... "You got poofed trying to save me," he reminded her. "I don't want our relationship to be like that-"

"You deliberately entered my corrupted mindscape," Peridot shot back at once. "Twice, might I remind you. Look, Steven," she continued in a softer tone. "I didn't throw myself in front of that sword because I thought you were more important than me or anything like that. I did it because I realized that if the scenario continued in the same way as your dream, you would be struck from behind, and we both thought that would result in your gem being shattered. True, we were wrong about that," she admitted, "but it was still a blow that destroyed Pink Diamond's form, and I feel fairly confident that even if it hadn't shattered your gem, it would've caused a great deal of internal damage to your human body. But it's damage my form can easily recover from," she said, briefly touching the place on her torso where the blade had struck. "And now I'm better than ever," she added a little smugly, before quickly turning serious again. "We're not like them at all. I mean, look at us right now!" she added, gesturing towards him. "The first thing you did when you found out was tell me I didn't have to follow any of your orders! And the first thing I did-"

She stopped abruptly and tried to think of something else to say, but it was too late. "What did you do?" Steven asked warily.

"I... crossed my fingers behind my back so I wouldn't have to keep that promise," she admitted sheepishly. "I mean, I will try not to get myself poofed again, I can promise you that, but if I have good reason to believe you're about to be killed and I know I can prevent that from happening, I'm going to try and save you, and I refuse to promise not to do that."

Steven shook his head in exasperation, but he couldn't help smiling at the obstinate look on her face. "All right, I guess that's fair enough," he conceded. "I can't really ask you not to do something I'd totally do myself."

Peridot smiled and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. "So... we're good?" she checked.

"Yeah." He sighed and hugged her, and decided it was time to tell her about the other thing that had happened in her absence. "But Garnet isn't. Ruby and Sapphire split up."

"WHAT!?" Peridot screeched, sitting bolt upright. "How!? What!? How!?"

"It was my fault," Steven said gloomily. "I came out of Pearl's gem and just said 'Mom was Pink Diamond' and I didn't realize Garnet was behind me. And then when I had to explain it, she split up. Sapphire was furious. She said Mom told them never to question themselves as Garnet and now their whole relationship was based on a lie and then she ran away-"

"W-wait a second!" Peridot blurted out, waving her hands in panic. Steven fell silent and waited while she closed her eyes and quickly tried to process that information. Somehow, the news that Garnet had split up was far more shocking to her than the discovery of Rose Quartz's true identity. Probably because she actually knew Garnet, she decided. "Sorry, I just... wow."

"Yeah, that about sums that up," he sighed.

Peridot nodded slowly, rerunning his words through her head again now the initial shock had worn off enough for her to pay attention. "You know that's not really your fault though, right?" she checked.

Steven opened his mouth and then hesitated. "Well... it's kinda my fault for telling them about Mom."

"Would you have not told them?" Peridot asked seriously. "Would you have lied to Garnet as well?"

"...Welllllll... no," he admitted. "I guess not. But still, maybe I could've done it in a better way, I don't know-"

"Exactly!" Peridot cut in, making him jump. "You don't know! But what you do know, is that Garnet was lied to for thousands of years and you couldn't have kept that a secret from her once you knew. Do you really think there's any way you could've told her without her being hurt?"

"Um... I could've..." He bit his lip and then shook his head. "No, you're right. It was always gonna suck, one way or another." Weirdly, it was actually a relief to admit that out loud.

"So... what happened then?" Peridot prompted when he stayed silent. "Did you find Sapphire?"

"Hmm? Oh! Yes, she was at Mom's fountain." Steven frowned slightly as he remembered. "And then when we found her, Pearl told us how Mom first became Rose Quartz." His frown deepened. "She... was bored. She threw a tantrum to get this colony and then it was boring hard work. So she shapeshifted into Rose Quartz for a day so she could leave the moonbase and go down to Earth and have fun without being caught. Then Pearl told us this story about how her and Mom explored Earth and saw flowers and butterflies and humans, and that's when Mom realized her colony was gonna destroy all that, and so she asked the other Diamonds to stop, only they ignored her, so she stood up to them as Rose instead, to try and scare them off. Then when she saw Garnet for the first time, she decided she wanted to fight for Gems."

He paused and glanced towards the door. "Sapphire seemed to buy it. And... and I wanted to, a couple of years ago, I probably would've, but all I could think about was the Cluster. All those gems, shattered fighting in her war. And it was a war against herself! I just don't get it, why didn't she just tell them the truth? She could've doubled her army and shown the other Diamonds she was really serious!"

Peridot shrugged helplessly. It didn't make sense to her either and she wasn't in the mood to think about it right at that moment. It was too much and she knew there was still more to come. "You said Sapphire brought it?" she said, quickly getting back to the subject at hand.

"Yeah." He groaned and exhaled loudly. "But it was too late. We all came back and she wanted to apologize to Ruby, but Ruby'd run away and left a note saying she needed to think. Amethyst went looking for her, Pearl and Sapphire went in the Temple to cry it out, and I came in here to see how you were doing."

Peridot narrowed her eyes. "How long ago was that?"

"Ummmm..."

She snatched up her tablet and her eyes widened. "Steven, it's three am! Have you been in here all day!?"

"Ummmmmm..."

"You need to sleep! You need to eat! You need to-" Her mouth dropped open in dismay. "Tell me you did not pee out of my window!"

"I didn't pee out the window!" he hastily assured her. "I waited until the coast was clear and snuck to the bathroom. I grabbed some chips on the way back here too. And I tried to take a nap, but uh, it was kinda difficult 'cause every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing you getting stabbed to death, so I just lay there for a couple of hours and fantasized about going back to the Sea Shrine and finding an hourglass that would undo all this, only then I realized if I did that, I'd be just as bad as Mom. That's when I started just moping." Then his expression brightened. "But now you're back, we can-"

"Go to sleep," Peridot finished bluntly.

"I was actually gonna say we should go check on Sapphire and see if there's any news about Ruby," he suggested, but Peridot was already shaking her head.

"Pearl can look after Sapphire," she said sternly, privately thinking it was the least the other gem could do after all this. "And you already said Amethyst's looking for Ruby, so if there's any news, she'll let us know. But you won't be of any use to anyone if you don't get some rest."

"I am pretty tired," he admitted, and then yawned widely. Now Peridot was back and some of his more pressing concerns had been addressed, the horrible crushing fear and shock was beginning to abate, leaving him drained. Still... "Can- can I stay in here though?" he asked timidly. "Please?"

"Of course!" Peridot said at once, and gestured towards the hammock. "Make yourself comfortable!"

"A-actually, I was kinda hoping you'd stay with me. If that's OK," he quickly added. "Only if you want to."

"Oh." Peridot looked at the hammock again and tried to figure out how that was supposed to work. "It's not really meant for two people though."

"Well... how about we sleep on the sofa instead then?" he suggested.

"Ah! Of course!" She laughed and then waited for him to lay down so she could snuggle up to him. She closed her eyes, but she didn't allow herself to fall asleep; there was far too much to think about for that. Instead, she waited silently until she heard Steven's breathing slow down and felt him fall still, then she very carefully untangled herself from his arms and crept across the room and out of the door.

xxx

A/N:I'm afraid next week's chapter may be delayed, I seem to have caught a cold and my chest hurts from coughing all the damn time. Sorry.