CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The beach house was empty. Peridot wasn't entirely sure if that was a good thing or not. On the one hand, she did rather want to talk to Pearl. On the other hand, she hadn't the faintest idea what she actually wanted to talk about. She looked apprehensively towards the temple door, but it stayed resolutely closed, so she walked across the room and up the steps that led to Steven's room, where she planned to lay on his bed and try and make sense of everything he'd just told her, a task she suspected would be much easier now he wasn't wrapped around her. Not that it would be easy, of course, just easier.
However, as soon as she spotted the tiny, blinking light beside the bed and realized Steven had left his phone on charge, she pounced. Not because she wanted a distraction, she lied to herself, she just wanted to see if he'd missed any messages from Amethyst. And sure enough, when she peeked at the notifications, she could see there were several messages and missed calls from the other gem.
Then it occurred to her that what she was doing could be classed as 'snooping'. She hesitated for a moment, and then shrugged. "I've come this far," she muttered to herself. She'd confess when he woke up. Besides, Amethyst might have something important to say. And so, with that thought, she opened the most recent messages.
Hey steven! Good news, I found rubes hanging out with your dad. maybe-bad news? she's decided she wants to be herself for a while. Hope youre ok, call me if you need to talk.
Hey steven! How are you? Hows peridot? Weird news, ruby has decided she wants to be a cowboy. Im gonna tag along and see how this goes, but call me if you need to tlk
Hey steven! Hope you're doing ok, im gonna assume you're not picking up cos you're having a happy reunion with peridot lol. Not gonna be able to talk for a while now tho cos im rubys horse but if you text me i'll call back asap
As she read the last message, the phone suddenly buzzed in her hands, and she dropped it with a squeak of fright. It landed face-up on the bed, and she belated realized it was simply an incoming call from Amethyst. Without thinking, she reached out, picked the phone back up and hit the button to accept the call.
"Ah, finally!" Amethyst's voice sounded abnormally loud in the deserted house. "Where have you been, dude, I've been trying to call-"
"It's me," Peridot interrupted before Amethyst could get into full flow. "Peridot," she added, just in case Amethyst had trouble working out who 'me' was.
"Peridot!" Amethyst screeched, making her wince. "When did you get back!? Ah!" A knowing note crept into her voice. "Is that why Steven hasn't been answering-"
"No," Peridot quickly cut in. "I only reformed a short time ago."
"Oh." Her voice suddenly turned wary. "Soooo... have you um, heard the big news then?"
"That Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond all along? And faked her own shattering? And this revelation caused Garnet to doubt her entire existence and split into her component parts?" Peridot said dryly. "Yes, I heard. Unless there's some other 'big news' Steven neglected to tell me about."
"Nope, that's about it. Phew. Glad I didn't have to be the one to break that to ya." Amethyst exhaled loudly down the line. "But yeah, it's pretty wild, huh? Can you just imagine if the other Diamonds found out Steven was rocking her gem now? They'd spontaneously combust on the spot!"
"Wouldn't that be convenient," Peridot murmured. "However, I don't have any immediate plans to share this news with them and test that hypothesis."
"Probably for the best," Amethyst agreed. "Especially as the two of you are a thing. I mean, Blue tried to have Ruby shattered just for accidentally fusing with Sapphire, if she found out you were boning her baby sister-daughter, she'd turn you into dust!"
Peridot blinked and pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it suspiciously for a moment before replacing it. "Excuse me?"
"Yellow would do her nut too," Amethyst carried on, sounding almost cheerful. "She tried to blow you up just for calling her a clod, if she found about this...! Man, I kinda want her to find out, just so I can see her face!" And she started to laugh.
With great effort, Peridot resisted the urge to throw the phone on the floor and stamp on it, only because she remembered at the last second that it wasn't her phone. "Why are you being like this?" she asked in exasperation, not really expecting an answer.
To her surprise, Amethyst stopped laughing at once. "Sorry. I guess I'm kinda freaking out a little here. I keep thinking, what would've happened to me if I'd emerged with the rest of the Fam' when I was supposed to, y'know? They all had to fight in her dumb war, and none of them joined Rose's side and I just figured it was 'cause they never crossed paths. They're all good gems, of course they'd have signed up to save Earth if they had the chance, right? But she was Pink Diamond! She was in charge of them, she was in charge of all of them! She could've just talked to her subjects and told them she was rebelling and given them a choice, and she probably would've wound up with an army big enough to really take on the other Diamonds, but she lied to them all and made them fight each other instead! It's not fair!" she ranted.
"Um..." Peridot racked her brains for something to say in response, but Amethyst had already started up again.
"Still, I guess it's a good thing they didn't switch sides. I mean, the zoo sucks ass- well, a little less ass since we kicked Holly Blue's, but at least they're alive. If they'd joined us, they'd have been lucky to just be corrupted instead of being shattered to become part of the Cluster." She sighed heavily into Peridot's ear. "We were supposed to be the good guys, Rose was supposed to be the great rebel leader, she was our John Conner, y'know? She was supposed to make everything better. I thought she was so great. And now I don't know what to think."
"Mmm," Peridot said vaguely. She suspected Amethyst just wanted someone to rant at rather than an actual conversation, and if she were entirely honest, she was far too out of her depth to actually contribute anything worthwhile anyway.
So she was taken aback when Amethyst then said, "I guess you kinda get it, huh?"
"H-huh?" she stammered.
"With Yellow Diamond!, remember!?" Amethyst exclaimed. "You thought she was amazing and flawless and then she turned out to be a complete sack of cocks."
Peridot let out a cackle of laughter and then clapped a hand over her mouth as the sound echoed loudly through the silent house. "Amethyst!" she hissed.
"What? Am I wrong?" Peridot could almost hear her grinning on the other end of the line before she sobered up again. "How do you deal with it, 'Dot? One minute everything makes sense, then you find out your idol is a big fake and your whole life is a lie?"
"Honestly?" Peridot cast her mind back to that day. "Badly. Curling up in a ball for a few hours and pretending I was dead did help for a little while though."
"Pretend to be dead. Hmm. Seeing as that's kinda what got us into this in the first place, I think I'll skip it," Amethyst said dryly. "Not sure that'd cut it anyway," she said, before Peridot could apologize for her poor choice of words. "Yellow Diamond was an asshole, I'll give you that, but at least she was just an asshole. This would be more like if she pretended to die of shock and then turned out to be Steven in disguise, but at least you don't have to worry about him turning out to be Yellow Diamond, seeing as he's already Pink Diamond-"
"Don't call him that," Peridot said sharply. "He's not."
There was a brief moment of silence and then Amethyst spoke again. "You're right, sorry. I shouldn't've said that. Don't tell him I said that, please?" she added pleadingly. "He'd be really hurt and I honestly didn't mean it."
"I won't tell him," Peridot promised.
"Thanks." She sighed again. "It was bad enough when people kept thinking he was Rose, it'll be a million times worse if the Diamonds ever find out about this. Fuckin' Rose," she grumbled under her breath. "This sucks! She didn't even have the guts to come clean before she left us all behind, and now Steven's stuck clearing up her crap. Again."
"Mmm," Peridot said again. Privately she thought perhaps Rose had the right idea not telling them before she left, if only because it had kept her son from being left with that hanging over him as an infant rather than as a young adult.
"How is Steven anyway?" Amethyst asked, changing the subject. "I did try and get him to come along on the Ruby hunt, but he didn't wanna leave you."
"He was pretty upset," Peridot said, glancing over in the direction of her room. "But we talked a lot and figured some stuff out," she said without bothering to go into any detail. "He's sleeping now."
"That's good, I was getting kinda worried about him. He looked pretty wiped out last I saw him."
Peridot nodded absently, forgetting that Amethyst couldn't see her. "He hasn't been sleeping very well recently," she confided. "He was having dreams about Pink Diamond. I suppose now we know why-"
"You knew about that!? And you didn't tell us!?" Amethyst shrieked in her ear. Peridot winced and moved the phone away from her head.
"I only found out myself last- the night before we moved the Cluster," she said defensively. "And we agreed that Steven would discuss it with you after it had been dealt with. And as I recall, there wasn't much opportunity for him to do so that day."
Amethyst growled with frustration. She hated to admit it, but Peridot had a point there. "Ugh, fine. I'll let you off then."
Silence fell between them for several seconds until Peridot finally remembered why she'd been looking at Steven's phone in the first place. "And how is Ruby doing?" she asked politely.
"Honestly? I'm not sure," Amethyst admitted quietly. "She keeps talking about how great it is not knowing what's coming and how she's finally on her own and not needing anyone..." She trailed off, remember the years she'd spent on her own in the Kindergarten. "I mean, I guess she's not really alone alone, if you get what I mean, but still, I don't know if this switch straight from five thousand years of permafusion to Lonesome Lasso is really any healthier, y'know?"
"So..." Peridot said cautiously, "when do you think she'll be ready to come back?"
"I dunno. I miss Garnet, but if Ruby and Sapphire were really together 'cause Rose told them to be, we can't rush them. All I can really do is be here for Ruby when she figures out what she wants." She lowered her voice. "How's Sapphire? She was pretty upset when I left. Pearl too."
"I don't know, I haven't seen them yet," she admitted.
"Really? Are they still crying in the Temple?" Amethyst asked.
"I don't know," Peridot said again in exasperation. "As I said, I only reformed a short time ago. I'd only just left my room when you called."
"Ah hell," Amethyst groaned. "And then I went and dumped all my issues on you."
"It's OK," Peridot lied.
"It's just, I know I just went on about what would've happened if I'd emerged during the war, but I didn't. So I can't really talk to Garnet- well, obviously, but I can't talk to Ruby or Sapphire about it, 'cause they did have to fight in Rose's stupid war. And I can't talk to Pearl about it even though she lied too, 'cause she was forced to and she couldn't get out of it, and I definitely can't say anything to Steven! He blamed himself for all Rose's junk before and wound up handing himself in to Homeworld, I don't wanna set him back again, it's not his problem!"
"That's very mature of you," Peridot commented in surprise.
"Ew. How dare you." Amethyst laughed. "But seriously, thanks for letting me rant at you."
"It's OK-" Peridot began to say again, and then paused as a thought occurred to her. Who was she supposed to rant to then? And then another thought occurred to her. "Is Lapis aware of the situation?"
"...Ummmmmm... oh, excuse me, I think I hear Ruby-"
"Amethyst, tell me you didn't leave this to me as well!" Peridot hissed.
"No! Well, sort of. It's complicated," she argued. "We've all been so busy, I don't think it occurred to anyone. And anyway, it's not really the sorta conversation to have over Facetime, right?"
"I'm not talking to her," Peridot said flatly.
"Aww, come on, Peri! It'd be better coming from you, she likes you- well, she hates you less than us," Amethyst corrected.
"No, I mean we're not on speaking terms right now," Peridot clarified. "Not until she apologizes to me."
"Oh?" Amethyst asked curiously. "Why, what did she do?"
Peridot hesitated. Amethyst still made jokes about her corruption scars despite being asked several times not to, perhaps she might not be the most sympathetic audience in this case. "It's personal," she said vaguely instead.
"Well, get over it," Amethyst said hardheartedly. "This is more important."
Peridot scowled and pulled the phone away from her ear again, considering her options. Primarily, how annoyed would Steven be if she really did throw the phone on the floor and stamp on it. Annoyed enough that she didn't want to risk it, she decided. "I'm not doing it," she said instead. "She freaked out badly enough when Steven turned himself in and she thought the Diamonds were coming, what's she going to do when she finds out he has one of their gems!?"
"You'll be fine," Amethyst wheedled. "You talked her round last time."
"No I didn't!" Peridot snapped. "She was this close to taking off with the whole barn, the only reason she stopped was because Pumpkin went missing for two days! And now I don't have a barn and I don't have P-Pumpkin..." She paused and took a deep breath to compose herself. Pumpkin had lived a lot longer than a regular vegetable, but in the end, she was still a vegetable.
It still hurt.
"Look," Amethyst said after a few seconds of awkward silence. "We don't have to tell Lapis just yet. Like I said, it's not a conversation to have over Facetime. Once things have calmed down-" She broke off abruptly. "Ah, I gotta go, 'Dot, I really do hear Rubes this time."
"Wait!" Peridot begged, but even as she spoke, she realized she could hear the other gem's voice just before the connection ended. She groaned and flung herself back onto the bed. "I'm not telling Lapis," she muttered mutinously under her breath, knowing full well she was going to end being the one who told Lapis. At least this time she had time to prepare, she tried to reassure herself.
The sound of the temple door opening caught her attention, and she sat up and turned around to see Pearl step out and glance around. "Hello?" she whispered loudly.
"Hello," Peridot called down and watched with some amusement as the other gem jumped violently and almost dropped the cup she was holding.
"Ah, P-Peridot," Pearl stammered, clutching her free hand to her chest. "I thought perhaps- I heard voices?"
"Yes, that was me," Peridot said, holding the phone up by way of explanation. "Amethyst called.
"Oh." Pearl shifted nervously. "Did she ah, mention...?"
"That Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond, she faked her own shattering, and upon learning this, Garnet split up?" Peridot paused. "Actually, no. Steven told me."
"Oh," Pearl said again and tilted her head, trying to look past her. "And... Steven is...?"
Peridot considered giving her an annoying non-answer, just to vent some of her own pent-up feelings, but finally took pity on the older gem. "He's asleep. In my room," she elaborated as Pearl continued trying to see around her.
"Oh," Pearl said a third time. She looked over at the closed door, then back up towards Peridot. "Would you mind... I mean to say, that is..." She twisted her hands together and tried to smile. "If you could..."
"Yes, fine, I'll keep the door open," Peridot said in resignation.
Pearl immediately relaxed and moved further into the room. "Thank you. So!" She paused briefly to put the cup on the kitchen counter. "What did Amethyst say?" She looked hopefully up at the other gem. "Did she find Ruby? Are they coming back?"
It was fairly awkward having a conversation on two different levels, so Peridot put the phone back down, stood up and began making her way down the stairs before she replied. "Yes, she found Ruby, but she's not coming back just yet." She frowned slightly. "Something about becoming a cowboy? Unless I misunderstood that?"
"No, that actually makes sense," Pearl murmured.
"Really?" Peridot blinked in surprise. "Oh. Well, then yes, she's a cowboy. Amethyst said she was talking about how great it was being alone- but she also said she wasn't sure it was healthy and then Ruby called her and she had to go," she hastily added as Pearl's eyes welled up with tears. "So that's a good sign, right?"
Pearl buried her face in her hands. "Oh, this is all my fault-"
"What?" Peridot scoffed loudly. "No it's not, it's Rose Diamond or whatever you want to call her, I thought that had been established."
"But-"
"No!" Peridot stamped her foot on the floor in frustration. "I mean, it would've been nice if you hadn't lied to your friends for thousands of years, but you had no choice in the matter."
"But still," Pearl said, stubbornly determined to martyr herself, "I was honored to keep her secret."
"So?" Peridot folded her arms and regarded the other gem sternly. "If you hadn't, would it have made a difference? Could you have ever shared this secret with anyone other than Steven?"
Pearl met her gaze briefly and then looked away. "...No," she admitted softly. "No, I don't believe I could have."
An awkward silence fell between them, and then Pearl turned away and picked up the kettle. "I told Sapphire I'd make tea-"
"Why didn't Rose- I mean, why didn't Pink Diamond tell anyone?" Peridot interrupted, unable to hold back any longer.
"I suppose after five thousand years, she thought it might cause tension," Pearl said snippily, still busying herself with the kettle.
"Yes, obviously I'd worked out that much for myself," Peridot snapped back. "I meant back in the beginning, when she decided to stop playing at rebelling and started taking it seriously."
Pearl finished filling the kettle and placed it on the hob before turning back to face Peridot with a smile on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes. "She... wanted gems to make their own choices. She didn't want them to feel pressured into joining her just because she was Pink Diamond."
Peridot frowned. "But... they did. Not the ones who joined the Crystal Gems," she clarified as Pearl looked at her in confusion. "The others ones, the ones who fought against the Crystal Gems. They stayed loyal to Pink Diamond. If they were gonna do what she said anyway, wouldn't it have made more sense for her to get them to fight for Earth too instead of pitting them against her own troops?"
"W-well..." Pearl stammered, a blush rising on her cheeks. "I suppose... when you put it like that..." She took a deep breath and straightened up. "What you don't understand though, as that Rose wanted to inspire gems to rise above their station! If a lowly quartz could rebel-"
She was interrupted once again by a loud snort from Peridot. "Oh, please! You don't think a Diamond rebelling wouldn't have been inspiring!?" Her eyes narrowed. "You know, it just sounds like she enjoyed being adored and didn't want to risk losing that-"
"It wasn't like that!" Pearl slammed her hands down on the counter in front of Peridot, who immediately slid off the bar stool she'd been sitting on and crouched down behind it instead, silently cursing herself for momentarily forgetting exactly who she was talking to. Pearl stared at her for a moment and then took a step back and clenched her fists instead. "It wasn't like that," she repeated a little more calmly. "She couldn't just openly rebel against them, they would've destroyed her. Remember how well it went when you stood up to Yellow Diamond?"
Peridot peered cautiously over the top of the counter before slowly straightening up again. "Yes, but... I'm a Peridot. There are thousands of other Peridots back on Homeworld, I can easily- well, not easily be replaced, I'm more intelligent than average and I had a lot of specialized training-"
"And so modest too," Pearl muttered.
"-But the point remains, if Yellow Diamond decided to restart the Cluster project, she could find another Peridot to take my place," Peridot continued, ignoring the comment. "But a Diamond... they're irreplaceable! There have only ever been the four of them! OK, yes, they would've resisted," she admitted, "but surely they would've given her what she wanted in the end, just like they did when she begged for a colony!" She gestured towards the window for emphasis.
Pearl bit her lip and opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, the kettle began to whistle, making them both jump. She turned around and took it off the heat, but instead of making the tea, she simply stood there with her back to Peridot. "You don't understand," she said softly. "She wasn't worried they'd destroy her form."
"What?" Peridot asked blankly.
Pearl turned back to face her again and took a deep breath. "Tell me... have you ever seen White Diamond's Pearl?"
xxx
A/N: Oof, I'm really sorry there haven't been any updates for over a month, I had flu and when I was recovering, all I had the energy and motivation to do was watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I dunno if I'm gonna be able to do weekly updates like before, but I am feeling better and writing again, so that's progress.
Also I'm so sorry I kinda killed Pumpkin offscreen! In my defense, when I first started writing this series two years ago, she'd barely showed up and I... kinda forgot she existed, oops, and it's far too late now to write her in. But I didn't want to just avoid mentioning her completely, so when I was thinking about how this became AU as soon as Lapis took the barn, I had to think of a reason why she didn't do so here, and Pumpkin going missing for longer was the perfect excuse. Originally I was gonna have it that she died then and that's why Lapis stayed, but I decided that was mean, so yeah, she just went missing a little longer, Lapis changed her mind during that time, and then Pumpkin lived happily in the barn with them for several more years until she died peacefully of old age.