Rise of the Dragonborn

by TheDarkAngel'sShadow

As the New Kid, Sage Amsel just wants to leave his past behind and live life as a normal kid. But in South Park, "normal" does not exist. Now, Sage must deal with manipulative wizards, marauding drow elves, and possibly the greatest threat he'll ever face: how to deal with having too many friends on Facebook. Rated M, because South Park. May contain yaoi pairings. Just saying.

3. The Stick of Truth

The tent contained a chair (no doubt the Grand Wizard's "throne") that was surrounded by buckets of eaten KFC chicken. Several other items also filled the room, including a Tony Banderas Love Doll (my mother got one without telling my father, which was why I recognized it) that was designed to look like a barbaric warrior. The Wizard was standing in front of a pedestal.

"Well, here it is. The reason why humans and elves are locked in a never-ending war. The relic, for which human and elf are willing to die. The Stick of Truth."

I looked at the pedestal. It was sitting under a hole in the tent, allowing the sun to shine into it. And sitting in the light of the sun was…a stick. It looked like a stick that anyone could find in their back yard. I looked at the Wizard oddly, not that he noticed.

"Just two days ago, we took the Stick back from the elves. Our kingdom was dying, but now it thrives, for whoever controls the Stick, controls the universe." the Wizard said, his voice serious. I just continued to glance between him and the stick, slightly unnerved by the seriousness in the Wizard's voice and expression. He suddenly turned away from the stick, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Don't gaze at it too long, for its power is too much for mere mortals to look at!" he said, placing his hand on my back and turning me around, "Now that you have seen the Stick of Truth, let's discuss your dues." My dues? "Being a member of my kingdom costs $9.95 for the first week, four dollars of which is tax-deductible." Are you serious?

Suddenly, we heard someone scream, "Alarm! Alarm!"

The Wizard looked around frantically, tensing. "Someone sounded the alarm!" he exclaimed, right as Butters ran into the tent, his eyes wide and terrified as he continued his "alarmed" chant.

"What is it?" the Wizard demanded.

"The elves are attacking!" Butters replied, trembling.

The Wizard's eyes widened as well. "Oh my god! Defensive positions!" he yelled, running outside.

"Come on, Douchebag! We have to defend the kingdom!" Butters yelled to me before running outside as well. I nodded, glancing once more at the Stick of Truth before leaving to face the elven assault. This was getting good.