When I entered Kupa Keep, all of the kingdom's members were gathered in front of the Wizard's tent.

"All soldiers reporting for duty, Grand Wizard!" Butters declared, standing next to me and saluting. Everyone stood aside as Cartman emerged from the tent.

"Nice work, Douchebag." the Wizard said, nodding to me before addressing the whole group, "Now all my men are here and ready to fight for the-" He stopped suddenly, looking around in confusion. "Wait a minute…Where's Felspar?" He looked at me accusingly, "Where's my level 12 thief?" Thief, huh?

"Hey yeah, where's Craig?" Butters asked, looking at Tweek and Token. At first I thought he was simply backing up Cartman like he always did, but then he moved so that he was standing between me and the fat wizard. I see. He's trying to redirect Cartman's attention to Token and Tweek and away from me. Cute.

Token caught Butters' look and answered, "He's in detention."

"What?" Cartman practically growled. Tweek answered this time.

"H-He flipped off the principal, s-so he's in detention again!" he stuttered/screamed.

"Oh my god." Cartman muttered, staring angrily at the ground, "If they've locked up our thief in detention, we have no hope of getting back the Stick of Truth. We have to break him out!"

Tweek freaked out. "Agh! No way, man! Last time we broke Craig out of detention, we all got in trouble!" he yelled, pulling on his hair. Yet, despite his words, one look at his eyes told me that he really wanted to free Craig. I then saw Token hide a small smile. Interesting.

Cartman, pretending to consider Tweek's "objection", replied, "Getting into trouble is a risk that Douchebag is willing to take." Huh?

Cartman walked up to me, the seriousness on his face unnerving me slightly, although I was starting to get used to it. "You have to break out our thief, Douchebag. But don't worry, I will not let you go unprepared. I am going to teach you how to use magic. Meet me at the training grounds. It is time for you to learn…Dragonshout." the Wizard said, speaking the last word with a quiet emphasis, as if he were speaking of some forbidden power. Then, he walked over to an area in the right-hand side of the kingdom, where three training dummies were placed.

Dragonshout? The fart technique? I learned almost all of the fart techniques a while ago out of boredom (there's not much one can do when trying to keep a low profile). Dragonshout is the most simple of the techniques, since all you have to do is suck in air and then blow it out. I've learned three of them, but there is rumored to be a fourth technique that only the elite can learn, one that I aspire to learn someday, but I seriously doubt this fat little bastard is among that elite. I guess I'll just play along for now. I followed the Wizard to the training grounds as everyone else returned to their duties.

"You fight well, Douchebag." Cartman addressed me as I approached, "But to be truly successful in combat, you must learn to harness the power…of your farts." He said the last part dramatically. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Cartman then continued to explain the importance of farting on an opponent, before making me swear the "Gentlemen's Oath", which makes you swear to never fart on a man's balls. I had learned that before I had learned any of the techniques. He then explained how to use Dragonshout, which I just tuned out.

After demonstrating Dragonshout (he had decent power, making the dummy move slightly), he stepped back and turned to me. "Okay, now it's your turn. Dragonshout!"

I stepped up to the training dummy, a look of apathetic boredom on my face, and prepared Dragonshout. I let the air remain within me for a while longer than usual, making it more powerful, and then unleashed it on the poor training dummy, knocking the flimsy cardboard over completely. Cartman's jaw dropped.

"My god…" the Wizard muttered, looking genuinely speechless, "That was…incredible…" His eyes never left the fallen dummy. "A man could live a hundred years and never again witness a spell so…boisterous." He then turned to me, his eyes wide and, dare I say it, admiring. "Could it be that the prophecies are true? Could it be that the Dragonborn has come at last?"

My eyes widened slightly (and luckily, unnoticeably). Dragonborn?

Cartman then recovered from his state of awe (he was clearly unused to it) and was now trying to hide a grin. "Now let us try your skill on a real opponent."

Cartman turned to the crowd of kids that had gathered when I unleashed my attack and searched for a worthy "opponent" (read: target).

"Hey! Hey, Princess Kenny! Could you come here a second?" Cartman called, shushing me (not that I had said anything). Oh no. "Could you stand over here for a second, Douchebag's gonna try a new move."

Kenny, blissfully ignorant of what he-she was facing, stood in front of me and took up a defensive stance. All of the other boys gathered at the edge of the training grounds. They hadn't witnessed my first attack, so they were interested. I looked at him-her apologetically (or, at least, I wanted to, but my apathetic look was known for its persistence) before stepping up to him-her and unleashing the Dragonshout (not as powerful as the one I had used on the training dummy) onto his-her entire body. He-She jumped backward, flailing his-her arms as the whole kingdom erupted in laughter. The loudest, of course, was Cartman.

"HA HA HA HA HA! THAT WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS! HA HA! DUDE, THAT WAS AWESOME! HA HA! Ah…Good work, Douchebag. That was sweet!" he praised me, wiping joyful tears from his eyes, "Heh heh. Thanks, Princess Kenny."

Kenny stormed off with a muffled "Fuck you, asshole!" though I couldn't tell if the swearing was directed at me or Cartman.

The Wizard, clearly used to being cursed out, ignored Kenny and placed a hand on my shoulder, his tone becoming serious. "Okay, dude, but seriously, never do that on anyone's balls." I nodded. I knew the Gentlemen's Code. He nodded in return, continuing, "You have mastered Dragonshout! Now go! Use what I taught you to rescue our other thief from detention. Butters and Kenny will accompany you while I lounge upon my throne."

I rolled my eyes. I had already mastered Dragonshout. You didn't teach me anything. I just walked out of Cartman's house and headed toward the school, with the Princess and the Paladin in tow.