Once I managed to stagger back into the living room (using the sight tends to leave me drained, especially with this bloody scar), I saw Butters waiting patiently for me. He caught me as I staggered forward, eyes filled with concern.
"Aaaah! Someone, help!" I heard Cartman yell from the kitchen.
"They're beating up the Grand Wizard in the kitchen." Butters informed me, not sounding too concerned. If anything, he seemed much more worried about me. "Are you okay, Douchebag?"
I just nodded, entering the kitchen. Butters stuck close to my side, keeping a firm grip on my arm in case I were to collapse again. There were two elves kicking Cartman, who was lying on the floor, helpless. His staff lay at his side. A third elf "stood guard" nearby (he was actually playing with his phone). I took him out by shooting a light that hung overhead, and Butters defeated the other two in combat. He's gotten much better at fighting since we teamed up.
With the elves out of the way, Butters kneeled at my side, saying, "Your word is my command, my lord. Shall I heal the King, my lord?" He then added hopefully, "Or maybe let him suffer just a little more?"
I smiled at his innocently evil nature (he seems to have a gift of making me smile), raiding the cabinets and fridge before looking around to see if I'd missed anything. When Cartman cleared his throat, reminding us that he was still there, I went over to him and reached for one of his coat pockets.
"Hey! I'm not dead, you can't loot me yet!" he growled at me. I sighed in disappointment, reluctantly commanding Butters to heal the fallen wizard. As Butters held up Cartman's head, the wizard coughed up a red substance. It wasn't blood, but it did leave me wondering just what it was.
"His powers were…too strong…" he wheezed (fake), "The Bard…he's up in one of the rooms." He then poured a packet of ketchup into his mouth, spitting it back up as he coughed again. Oh. "They took Princess Kenny! They took her upstairs, I'm sure they're gonna rape her! Don't let them rape Princess Kenny!" Cartman then collapsed to the ground again with a soft "Meh."
Butters turned to me, the worried look reappearing on his face. I nodded, heading out of the kitchen. Butters, still worried about my physical condition, reclaimed my arm, not letting go except to battle or to let me use my arrows. As much as I wanted to assure the little paladin that I was alright, I was still weak and the precaution was probably necessary (he wouldn't even let me fight, which was probably wise).
In the living room, we heard the Bard yell, "The Wizard King is done for! Take out the New Kid while I make contact with the King of Elves!" The other elves cheered with enthusiasm.
Butters looked at me fearfully, gripping my arm more tightly. I placed my hand over his briefly before blowing up the barricades (they should really know better than to leave open flames lying around). The explosions also knocked out some of the elves, which was beneficial.
"Hey! Open the door!" I suddenly heard Tweek yell from outside. There was a barricade in front of the front door, but a Cup-a-Spell on a lamp took care of it. As Token, Tweek, and Craig barged in, destroying the other barriers, we faced off against a powerful elf with a gas mask.
"I'm gonna mess you up, dude." he said, his voice artificially deepened by his gas mask.
"Not if I can help it!" Butters growled, charging at the elf. However, he was intercepted by another elf, who kept him away from the leader. The same thing happened to Craig's group, leaving me to face the lead elf on my own. I growled, taking out my dagger as I prepared for battle.
"That gas mask means that my fart techniques won't work, and an enemy this strong cannot be stunned. At least I can make him bleed." I thought as I lunged at the elf, slashing his side as he tried to dodge. His eyes narrowed as he struck me with his wooden sword, knocking me to the ground. I heard Butters scream my nickname, the distress in his voice evident (an odd combination, someone screaming "Douchebag!" with a distressed tone), but I ignored him, focusing on the battle. I crouched low to the ground, slicing the elf's knees. However, due to my weakened state, I couldn't make the gash deep enough to bring my opponent down. As the elf kicked me down and raised his sword, I held my arm in front of my face, waiting for the finishing blow. But the blow never came. I chanced a glance from behind my arm and saw my opponent lying in front of me, unconscious. Looking up, I saw Butters standing over the fallen elf, his hammer at his side, the look on his face unreadable. I smiled up at him gratefully, trying to stand up, only to fall into his arms again. Knowing that I didn't have the strength to stand, I leaned against him for a minute, not really caring what anyone thought. I felt Butters gulp at the contact, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he pulled me closer and stroked my back, whispering gently, "I got your back, yo."
I opened my eyes again, remembering that I still had a mission to finish (I hate leaving unfinished business), and reluctantly pulled away, shaking as I struggled to get to my feet. Butters had his arm around my waist, trying to support me as best he could. I glanced up the stairs, knowing that I still had to save Kenny. I seriously doubted they'd rape him, but I still didn't like leaving my friends in enemy hands. That's when Token, Tweek, and Craig came running up to us. Their concern was almost as apparent as Butters'. Craig was the first one to speak.
"Oh my god! Are you alright?!" he asked, a worried tone piercing through the usual apathy.
"Oh S-Sweet Jesus! He isn't dying, is he?!" Tweek shrieked, clinging to Craig as he looked at Butters.
"Oh golly, I sure hope not!" Butters replied, sounding close to tears.
Token, being the more mature member of the group, came up to me, his expression one of disciplined calm. He placed his hand on my head, which helped. My head was killing me.
"He hasn't been seriously injured, maybe a bruise or two, but I can tell he's in pain."
I cringed. "He's right." I thought as I tried to regain normal breathing, "The pain in my head and the weakness in my body are normal after-effects of using the sight. Still, I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep fighting in this state."
My expression became determined as I stood up on my own (although Butters still wouldn't let go of my arm) and looked at the others. Craig and Butters were the only ones who could read my expression, but they'd translate it for the others. I was going to see this through to the end. Him, on the other hand…
"Oh yeah! The Grand Wizard is in the kitchen. He's hurt pretty bad." Butters translated as I pointed to the kitchen.
"Well, my medicine skills are +4, but shouldn't we help you first?" Token asked, still concerned for my safety (and not so concerned about Cartman's). The other three agreed whole-heartedly.
I shook my head, standing up straight and, managing to fight the pain and fatigue, headed upstairs. The healing abilities in this game wouldn't do much for me, not in that condition. Even Butters' assistance earlier was more psychological than actual healing. Cartman wasn't really hurt, so they'd actually be able to do something for him.
Everyone looked on worriedly, but knew better than to argue further. They last thing I needed was to have to fight my own comrades. Craig nodded.
"Very well." he said, sighing in defeat, "Token, Tweek, and I will help the Wizard. You two save the Princess." And with that, he headed for the kitchen, with Tweek and Token close behind. Butters, still unsure of my ability to fight, returned to his place beside me, keeping a steady grip on my arm, which God knows I needed.
Heading upstairs, we heard Kenny's muffled screams, accompanied by the sound of bouncing mattress springs. Butters gasped.
"Listen! They're raping the Princess right now! We have to bust in there!" he yelled, rushing toward the door that the noises were coming from. I followed more slowly, partially because I was still weak, but also because that did not sound like rape. Granted, I'd never heard a rape before, but I had heard my parents having sex before, so I could tell that was not what was going on in that room.
Butters and I finally got the door open and barged in (well, Butters did) to see Kenny tied up and the elven captor…jumping on the bed.
Rape, huh? I looked over at Butters, who was scratching the back of his head, laughing nervously. I rolled my eyes, shooting the leg of a table that was against the wall of the bedroom. Bringing down a light and some shelves as well, I created a path that allowed me to swing onto the bed (being weakened, I couldn't just jump up there, and Butters had to deal with the elf), breaking the bed in the process. Kenny thanked me gratefully (and a bit flirtatiously) as I freed him, leaving the room. As I jumped from the broken bed, I stumbled, causing Butters to grab my arm again.
"Good thing Jimmy's parents are out of town." Butters mumbled as he looked at the damage I had done. When I looked at him oddly, he explained, "Jimmy is the Bard's real name." I nodded in acknowledgement.
As Butters led me out of the room, I saw Cartman at the top of the stairs, along with Craig's gang. Cartman, spotting Kenny, ran over to us after commanding Craig to open the other door, which was where Jimmy was hiding.
"Princess Kenny! How badly did they rape you?" he asked the moment he got to us.
"Oh, they didn't rape me." Kenny replied, shrugging.
"Oh." Cartman said, sounding disappointed. This earned him a glare from Kenny, Butters, and myself. However, before that could escalate, Craig cut in.
"I can't get through! The door appears to be enchanted so I can't turn the knob!" he reported, returning to his place at the front of his group. Cartman approached the door and, when he couldn't turn the knob either, banged on the door with his staff.
"You can't hold the doorknob, Bard! That's cheating!" he yelled.
"Yeah I can. I have the Stick of Truth, which means I control the universe, and I say holding the doorknob is okay." Jimmy replied from the other side of the door, sounding triumphant.
"Ah! Can he do that?" Cartman cried indignantly.
"He has the Stick of Truth. He can do what he wants." Craig replied matter-of-factly.
"Dammit!" Cartman cried in frustration, trying to turn the doorknob again, "There's got to be another way into this room!"
From my place against Butters, I looked up and noticed an elf hiding in the attic. I smirked and tapped Kenny's shoulder, gaining his attention, and pointed to the elf, activating the Buddy Command.
"Your word is my command, my lord." he said all-too-happily, walking into the elf's sight and pulling down his shirt, showing off his "boobs".
"Oh yeah! Let's see what we got here!" the elf whistled, lowering the ladder he had with him and climbing down, "I'm coming for ya, baby! Oh yeah! Ooooh, those are some big ol' bitties. Man, oh man."
Kenny giggled, just like he did with the ginger hall monitor, and knocked the elf out with his mirror. How does that keep working?
Cartman laughed. "Good job. Princess gone wild. Double D buddy power." he said, eating a bag of Cheesy Poofs. I ignored him, nodding my thanks to Kenny and slowly climbing the ladder. Kenny stayed down with the others, seeming to prefer seduction to battle, but Butters insisted on coming with me, earning some mocks from Cartman ("Oooo. Looks like Butters has a new boyfriend. Maybe he'll be the bottom bitch this time."), who was then smacked by Kenny, Token, Tweek, and Craig. I rolled my eyes, not really caring, but I did take note of the fact that Butters, in his embarrassed response to Cartman, was blushing.
The attic was dark, so it was difficult to see, but I knew that there were elves hiding up there. Not wanting a repeat of the last ambush, I prepared to reactivate the sight, just long enough to get a clear image of my surroundings. However, just as my eyes began heating up, Butters slapped me, sending me to the floor. I looked up at him, astonished and a little hurt, but before I could stand up, he pulled me to his chest, tears forming in his eyes.
"Please don't do that again, Douchebag." he whispered, his voice cracking, "I know what you were doing. You were going to do that weird thing with your eyes again! You can't! You still haven't recovered from the last time you did that!" The desperation in his voice was almost overpowering. I nodded, not wanting to upset the distressed blond further. When he was sure that I wasn't going to try to use the sight again, he helped me back to my feet. "I'm sorry, Douchebag. I just don't want you to suffer anymore." he whimpered, looking at me apologetically. I just nodded, letting him know that I understood why he hit me. He smiled and looked at my hand, which I let him hold. Then, once I was sure the matter was settled, I turned back to the task at hand.
Using the light from the candles in the room, I saw that there were two elves in the attic. Due to my weakened state, Butters insisted that I avoid unnecessary battles, so I looked around for another way to defeat them. When I noticed that both elves were standing near a candle (open to the air), I used Cup-a-Spell on it, the blast knocking out the two elves. I leaned on Butters, feeling tired and a little dizzy.
"Golly! Are you okay, Douchebag?" Butters gasped, concerned. I could feel heat radiating from his face and neck. He's blushing again. I wonder why. I nodded, my head still on his shoulder. I was getting really dizzy. Another after-effect. Damn that bastard.
After the world stopped doing somersaults, I opened my eyes and looked around, noticing, with the light from the remaining lamp, that there was a heavy-looking suitcase perched precariously on a shelf. Taking out my arrows, I shot a joint in the shelf, causing the suitcase to fall…straight through the floor. Butters gasped, looking around nervously. I just smirked at how well my plan worked.
Jumping down from the ceiling (I would have fallen if it weren't for Butters), I saw Jimmy holding the Stick, gaping at the destruction I had caused. Ignoring him, I ordered Butters to open the door, letting the group waiting outside enter. As they filed in, the Wizard and the Bard faced off…
"You have nowhere to run, Bard! Give us the Stick of Truth!"
"Take it from me if you can, W-Wizard King! Step forward now and fulfill your d-d-d-destiny!"
"You are no match for a Grand Wizard!"
"The Stick belongs with us, and I shall use every bardic power in my class to keep it from you!"
"Fine! You wanna throw down, brah?"
…or so I thought.
"Kick his ass, Douchebag!" Cartman commanded me. What?
"Who is Douchebag?" Jimmy asked, having never heard my nickname before.
"That's SIR Douchebag to you! And he's about to teach you some manners, Bard!" Cartman replied confidently, stepping aside.
"Why me?" I thought, not looking forward to another battle, "Do I look like a Grand Wizard?" My dizziness was getting worse, too.
"You can't do that, Eric!" Butters cried, standing in front of me protectively, "Douchebag is hurt! He's in no condition to fight!"
"Silence, Paladin! Who are you to question the Grand Wizard?!" Cartman barked back, adding with a smirk, "You're just pissy because you don't want to see your little boyfriend get hurt."
Butters began stammering, his face bright red. I looked at him, wondering if the fatass really spoke the truth. Our eyes met, and he looked away quickly, his eyes shining as he backed away. Surprisingly, before Cartman could continue, Craig came to Butters' rescue.
"He's right, Cartman. Sir Douchebag has been weakened by his previous battles." he said in Butters' defense, as well as my own.
"Y-Yeah! Sir Douchebag has fought almost all the elves here! He deserves a rest! And coffee! Gah!" Tweek added, much to my (and everyone else's) surprise.
"The New Kid can't fight all of your battles, Cartman." Token addressed the Wizard directly (he refuses to use my given nickname), causing Catman to go on an indignant rant that included plenty of swearing and name-calling.
While this was going on, I staggered over to Jimmy and held out my dagger, challenging him myself. No one else noticed, as they were too busy arguing with Cartman (except Butters, who was strangely absent). I remembered what Craig had told me happened to Tweek, courtesy of the Bard, and I was going to make him pay for that.
"So, you challenge me yourself?" Jimmy asked, seeming unsure as to whether or not he should really fight me. Then, remembering what I had done to his comrades in the cellar, he took out his lute, preparing a spell, "Very well. T-Take the Stick from me, if you can!"
"Forgive me, Butters." I thought as I closed my eyes again. It was clear that the only way to defeat the Bard was to use the sight again. Hissing against the agony that accompanied its activation, I opened my eyes, freezing the Bard mid-note.
Taking advantage of the Bard's vulnerability, I lunged at him, slashing his arms. Kneeling, he attempted to play a lullaby to slow me down, but it had no effect. My rage would not be pacified. Narrowing my eyes, I lunged again, knocking him back. Unable to get back up, the Bard held up the Stick in surrender.
"A-Alright! You win! T-Take the Stick!" he cried in defeat. That, everyone heard.
"Alright! Way to go, Douchebag!" Cartman cheered, while everyone else just stared at me in shock and awe. They hadn't seen my eyes glowing red, so they didn't know how I defeated the Bard, just that I had, even in my weakened state.
As Cartman took the Stick back, I staggered backward, swaying back and forth before collapsing as the pain completely overwhelmed me. I barely even noticed that my scar had started bleeding again. Craig and Token caught me, and I vaguely heard Craig order Tweek to find Butters before I passed out, one final thought entering my mind before I blacked out completely.
I'm sorry.