As the group of humans entered the fourth grade classroom, they faced the King of Elves himself. He glared at the humans, focusing his gaze on the New Kid. Behind him, several other elven warriors, including the Bard, watched the New Kid with a mixture of anger and fear. All of them had faced him at some point in the game, and all of them had been brutally beaten. The only elf who wasn't displaying any animosity toward the New Kid was the defeated Ranger, who was being supported by the other elves. The only emotions in his eyes were curiosity and anticipation.
"Back away from the desks, Jew King!" the Grand Wizard, Cartman, commanded.
"The Stick doesn't belong with a FAT, RACIST LIAR!" the Elf King, Kyle, replied, his hatred for the Wizard overpowering even his anger toward the New Kid.
"Okay, Kyle, you fucking asked for it!" Cartman growled, his hatred for the Elf King showing strong as he stood face-to-face with the other boy, before commanding, "Go ahead and kick his ass, Douchebag!"
"WHAT?!" several of the humans cried in disbelief.
"You said you would fight the final battle!" the golden-haired paladin, Butters, cried, desperate to protect his boyfriend, who was still hurt from his battle with the Ranger.
"Yeah! You even avoided fighting any battles on the way here so you could "save your strength" for this battle!" the level 12 thief, Craig, added, also wanting to protect his friend and fellow thief.
"How many times do we have to tell you, Cartman? You have to fight your own battles." the Healer, Token, snarled at the Wizard.
"I'm the King of the Humans! I can do whatever I want! Kick Kyle's ass, Douchebag!" Cartman barked back, disregarding all protests. That's when Cartman, along with everyone else in the room, noticed something.
"Where's Douchebag?"
Sure enough, while everyone had been focused on the argument between the Wizard and his followers, the strongest warrior in the entire game had vanished. Everyone, human and elf alike, started looking around the room, searching for the missing warrior.
"That bastard! He ditched us!" Cartman cried indignantly, stamping his feet. That's when everyone heard a sinister chuckle from a darkened corner of the room. Everyone turned toward the sound, Butters and Stan recognizing it instantly.
At first, all anyone could see was a dark silhouette standing in the corner. Then, a pair of glowing red eyes appeared, illuminating the hateful smirk on the thief's face as he stared at the Wizard. He was radiating power and defiance, and he seemed to be hovering over a specific desk. However, everyone seemed to miss that last fact, so caught were they by the glowing eyes.
"AGH! W-W-What's wrong with his eyes?!" Tweek, the first warrior to regain his voice, shrieked in terror as he hid behind Craig. Craig, the normally-stoic boy, was actually shaking at the sight of his friend, although he tried desperately to hide it. Everyone else could do nothing except stare at the New Kid, who narrowed his eyes at the Wizard. Well, everyone except Butters.
"Sa- Douchebag! What are you doing?! You're not strong enough to be using that!" he cried, fear dominating his voice. The Ranger, Stan, watched on in interest, although he stood up next to Kyle and gripped his sword in case the Dragonborn made a move toward his precious king. The powerful angel ignored all of them, heading straight for the Grand Wizard.
"W-What are you doing, Douchebag?! I told you to attack KYLE! Do as I say or you can't play anymore!" Cartman attempted to command his commander, backing up as he approached. Commander Douchebag ignored him, pulling out his sword, which ignited the moment it was unsheathed. He slashed at the fat wizard, causing a burn.
"Godamn it! I KNEW you were a fucking Douchebag!" Cartman bellowed, enraged.
"Agh! Is Douchebag betraying us?!" Tweek cried fearfully, clinging to Craig's arm.
"Maybe he's possessed." Craig replied, sounding vaguely hopeful, "Look at his eyes. Maybe the elves did this."
"No." Butters said, making the humans turn to him, "This is Douchebag's doing. This is the technique he used to defeat the Bard." Sure enough, the Bard, Jimmy, was trembling at the familiar sight. "He has complete control over himself."
"That doesn't mean he's betraying us." Token interjected, gaining the others' attention.
"What do you mean?" Craig asked as Tweek, Kenny, Scott, and Butters looked at him hopefully.
"Well, think about it." Token said, "Cartman's been using the New Kid as a shield ever since he first joined our kingdom. To be honest, I knew it was only a matter of time before he lashed out. Although, I didn't expect this."
The human warriors turned back to the battle between the Wizard and the Commander. By now, Cartman was getting desperate. He couldn't even lay a finger on the rebelling warrior. Panicking, he took out a lighter and farted on the flame, sending a powerful cone of fire at the New Kid. However, the rebel thief just smirked, the exact same expression he was wearing at the start of the battle, and summoned a powerful Dragonshout that overpowered the Wizard's flames instantly, taking the Wizard out with them.
As Cartman collapsed, the New Kid typed out a message and handed it to Kyle, who read it aloud.
Be careful how you use your weapons, or you may one day find them turned against you.
"Told you." Token said.
Sage then took his phone back, nodding slightly to Stan and sending a look of apology to Butters. Then, he walked over to the same desk that he was hovering over before the fight began.
"What is he doing?" Kyle wondered out loud.
"I think there's something on that desk." Stan suggested, "Let's go see."
The group of kids, both human and elf, gathered around the Dragonborn, his glowing eyes revealing writing on the bottom of one of the desks.
Check my locker.
"Whose desk is that?" Kyle asked.
Cartman, who was still lying on the floor, raised his head. "That's…that's Clyde's desk."
With that realization, Stan and Kyle ran out of the classroom, with Cartman and Sage, who had deactivated the sight, close behind. Kyle supported Stan, who was still weak, while Butters supported Sage once he had caught up, placing a cloth to the scar on his boyfriend's left eye as the bleeding started again. Everyone else followed behind the group as they arrived at Clyde's locker. Inside, they found a laptop, which they opened to reveal a video of Clyde. He was dressed in black armor, with a purple crown with four silver spikes and a rodent skull on his head. He was holding the Stick triumphantly.
"Greetings, humans and drow elves of Zaron!" he said as Stan started the video.
"Clyde!" Stan gasped, sounding betrayed and hurt. Butters gasped as well, clinging to Sage's arm.
"HE took the Stick!" Cartman growled angrily. Sage's expression, as difficult as it was to read, told that he'd had a feeling this was going to happen and sighed, placing a hand over his boyfriend's in an attempt to calm him.
Clyde turned his back to the camera. "While you all have been busy fighting amongst yourselves, I have built a kingdom beyond your comprehension! I prayed for a way to destroy you all and the solution came crashing down from the heavens!" he announced, walking over to a barrel with a "toxic waste" label on it. Familiar green goo was dripping from it. Sage growled, clenching his fists, a look of anger and guilt on his face. Butters grabbed one of Sage's hands and unclenched it, intertwining their fingers and pressing their palms together, their calming roles reversed.
"Oh no, it's more of that green stuff!" Kyle exclaimed.
Clyde walked over to the body of a cat, which was lying next to the barrel. "With what I've found, I shall raise an army of the dead!" he declared, pouring some of the green goo into a ladle and then sprinkling it over the cat's body, causing it to twitch and turn pale green before getting up and shouting in German, a swastika on its foreleg. As the cat ran away, Clyde ran up to the camera, a triumphant smile on his face. "I shall raise an entire army of darkness, and kill the Earth!" he proclaimed, laughing manically.
"Clyde…but why?" Stan asked, leaning against Kyle.
"I banished him to be lost in time and space and now he's all pissed off." Cartman admitted as Clyde continued to overreact.
"So you see, FOOLS, I control the Stick, and the future of the Earth!" he yelled, an evilly victorious grin spreading across his face.
"Clyde? Do you want a sandwich?" an older male voice called from somewhere off-screen.
"Not now, Dad! I'm making a Ruler of Darkness video!" Clyde called back, before turning back to the camera once more, "Whoever controls the Stick controls the universe- and my first deed is that I hereby DENOUNCE the human and the elf kingdoms, and strip both kings of all their power!" he declared, bursting into another fit of laughter as the video ended. Everyone just stared at the blank screen for a few moments, absolutely speechless, before Cartman broke the silence.
"Motherfucker!"
Cartman then headed for the school's exit, with Stan, Kyle, Sage, Butters, Kenny, Jimmy, and Tweek following behind. Everyone else dispersed, except Craig, who had disappeared shortly after the video had begun playing. Approaching Clyde's house, Cartman banged on the door.
"Oh, hello, boys." Clyde's father said when he answered.
"Can we speak to Clyde, PLEASE?" Cartman snarled angrily, obviously forcing the "please".
"Oh, Clyde's in the backyard playing with his little friends." Clyde's father replied. The group just filed in one-by-one, heading past Clyde's father to the backyard. None of them expected what they found.
A massive treehouse that towered over the house itself stood in the center of the yard, surrounded by motes. Several red-roofed buildings made up the different levels of the castle. Banners bearing skulls were placed on either side of the opening near the top of the fortress. And there, standing in that opening, was Clyde.
"Come and get it, losers!" he called down to the intruders, holding up the Stick in a taunting manner.
Cartman looked around nervously before yelling back, "You can't do that, Clyde! You're lost in time and space!"
"No I'm not!" Clyde called back childishly.
"Yeah you are, asshole!" Cartman continued to argue.
"Army of Darkness! Defend the Fortress!" Clyde commanded. At his word, the fortress was suddenly COVERED with kids from all cliques, from emos and vampires to nerds and athletes. Suddenly, Craig showed up beside Clyde. Tweek's eyes widened.
"C-Craig?!" he cried, the pain in his voice at the betrayal filling the yard.
"Craig?! Craig, you're on my side!" Cartman yelled.
"You don't have authority anymore, the Keeper of the Stick said so." Craig replied, his voice as emotionless as always, although guilt flashed through his eyes briefly when he looked at Tweek, who was about to cry.
"This can't be happening." Kyle whispered, almost collapsing against Stan, who wrapped an arm around his waist to support him.
"GOD DAMNIT! I HAVE FUCKING AUTHORITAH!" Cartman screamed, furious.
Clyde smirked. "Sorry, warriors and wizards! I'd love to invite you all into my Fortress of Darkness, but I'm afraid you're TOO LATE!"
The boys looked at each other in confusion. "Too late? Whaddya mean we're too late?" Stan wondered out loud. At that moment, Butters' parents showed up.
"There you are, Butters!" his father yelled, "Do you know what time it is, mister? It is WAY past your bedtime!" Butters' eyes widened in horror as he was dragged away. Sage looked on worriedly.
"Oh shit, it's past our bedtimes?!" Cartman exclaimed as everyone else took off.
"Dude, I'm gonna get it!" Kyle cried fearfully.
Tweek, meanwhile, didn't seem to notice the exchange. He just stood in place, staring up at Craig as tears flowed from his eyes, the betrayal in them heartbreaking. Sage gently grabbed Tweek's arm, leading him out the door. He knew he wouldn't be grounded; his parents couldn't stand up to the power of the Dragonborn eyes. As he accompanied Tweek back to the caffeine addict's house and texted his mother, telling her to call Butters' parents to explain that it was Sage's fault that Butters stayed out too late, only one thought echoed through the Dragonborn's mind.
I'm gonna get you back for this, I swear!