Once we returned to Annie, she thanked me for my help and, after a brief comment about how disheveled Butters and I looked (Butters turned bright red and began stuttering, although my expression never changed), she blindfolded me again, taking me back to the secret base.
"New Kid, we want to thank you for helping us determine whether or not Monica was a two-faced bitch." the chair thanked me, before explaining, "She really made us mad, but it turns out she couldn't have been the one spreading rumors about Allie Nelson going to the abortion clinic."
"Yeah, so we made up!" the redhead said.
"You guys are the best!" Monica said happily. I had to resist facepalming.
The chair continued her explanation. "You see, the thing is, Heidi Turner was SUPPOSED to put on the Facebook page that you were Bebe's boyfriend, but she didn't!"
"Because Heidi Turner is a two-faced bitch who says she likes me, then tries to stab me in the back!" Monica said angrily.
"Right!" the chair agreed, "So we need to know if Heidi Turner is the two-faced bitch who's spreading rumors about Allie being spotted at the abortion clinic. But in order to do that…" She paused, looking around at all the other girls, who nodded, "We need people to think you're a girl."
"WHAT?!" I mentally screamed as the girls cried, "Makeover!"
As they dragged me to the very back of their base, I managed to text Butters to warn him that his boyfriend was about to temporarily become his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to read his reply, however, because shortly after my message was sent, the girls started putting some super-slutty clothes on me (REALLY short shorts and a tank top that covered my chest and not much else) and topped it off with a red ponytail wig with a blue-green ribbon and pink high heels.
"You look gorgeous!" the chair said, smiling at me.
"I'll have to borrow that later!" the redhead giggled.
"Here, just one more touch…" Bebe hummed as she put some light blue eyeshadow on me, "Aaaaaaannnnnnd….Perfect!" She stood back, admiring her handiwork.
"Whaddya think girls?" the chair asked, "Is he ready?"
"Yeah!" the other girls cried excitedly, leading me out of the base, not even bothering to blindfold me this time (turns out their base is actually where the girls' bathroom in the park is supposed to be).
"I just hope no one recognizes me." I thought as we made our way to the abortion clinic, where I had told Butters to wait for us. When he first saw us, he didn't recognize me. However, my signature look of apathy, combined with the fact that I was the only "girl" he didn't recognize, gave me away, and he turned red, covering his mouth in a desperate attempt to contain his laughter. I'll make him pay for that later.
"Alright, New Kid." the chair told me, "Get inside the clinic and find the records room. Take a picture of all the records for the past week and text them to us. That will help us find out who the two-faced bitch is. I'm sure you can appreciate why none of us can do this." Sadly, I can. It's the only reason I'm putting up with this humiliation.
"If any of us are spotted in there, people will think we're sluts like Jessica Rodriguez." Bebe said. Right as she said that, a Hispanic girl in a red dress came up to us.
"Hi guys." she said, her tone friendly.
"Hey, Jessie!" the other girls said in greeting, putting on their friendly faces.
"What are you up to?" Jessica asked curiously.
"Oh, nothing." Bebe replied, "Just trying to find out which of our friends is a two-faced bitch!"
"Cool!" Jessica replied, "Well, see you around!" She then walked off, although I did notice that she added me as a friend on Facebook.
"Awesome!" the chair called, before muttering under her breath, "Skank."
Right. Because that's not two-faced at all.
"Alright, now go in there and get into the records room." Bebe said seriously. I nodded, turning to the clinic.
"Wow." Butters said when the girls had left, "You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen. Next to a real girl, that is." he added, laughing. I just glared at him, dragging him in with me. "Wait a minute, why do I have to go in?"
I looked at him. Because you're my boyfriend. I smirked, grabbing his hand and holding it. I kept it there as we went up to the reception desk.
"Oh, are you here for an abortion?" the nice woman behind the counter asked me. I nodded, gripping Butters' hand and looking nervous. The woman smiled at me. "Don't worry, the first one is always the scariest. Take room A, second door to your left." she said, nodding her head toward the door. When I didn't let go of Butters' hand, she added, "I'm sorry, your lover will have to wait out here."
"L-Lover?" Butters stuttered, gulping, his face turning bright red. I turned to him, grabbing his hands, a look of feigned nervousness on my face. Butters, finally catching what I was doing, wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close.
"Don't worry, babe." he said gently, looking into my eyes as he rested his forehead against mine, "I'll be waiting right here." I smiled, kissing him gently, and he responded in kind, both of us ignoring the "Aww" that came from the reception desk. We separated and I went in, heading for room A. When I got there, the doctor was waiting for me.
"Hi, I'm Doctor Poonlover." the doctor introduced himself, "Get up in the chair and this won't take long at all."
As I walked up to the chair, the doctor looked at me more closely. "Hey…little young to be having an abortion, aren't we?" he asked, and I gulped, worrying the plan would fail. Fortunately, he just shrugged. "It's okay, we have a booster seat." he said, placing a pink, flowery seat onto the chair. I climbed onto it, wondering why an ABORTION CLINIC would have a BOOSTER SEAT handy.
The doctor pulled down my pants and held the vacuum to my anus.
"Alright, just sit back and we'll get that fuck-trash taken right out." He said, attempting to vacuum my asshole. Not wanting him to discover my anal probe (and because that vacuum HURT), I clenched my sphincter, just like I had done on the alien space ship. After a struggle, the vacuum couldn't hold out anymore and broke.
"What the…?" Dr. Poonlover muttered in shock, "…wow. Never seen THAT before. You burned out the vacuum. I'm gonna have to get this thing fixed. Be back in a minute." He then left the room, muttering something about imagining "a dick that could get into that tight pussy".
I got off the chair and, looking around the room, noticed a doctor's clothing. The Records Room is guarded by a camera that recognizes doctors by their clothing. As I prepared to enter Phase 2 of the girl's new plan for finding the two-faced bitch, I headed out of the room, taking off my slutty clothes and make-up. As I stood in front of the Records Room, there was one thought that continues to plague my mind, even to this day.
"How do you mistake a nine-year-old boy's asshole for a vagina?"