The journey back was quite eventful. We ran into some Dire Snakes (they're like snakes, but they're dire) and I was bitten by one while shielding Butters. After brutally crushing the skull of the snake that bit me, Butters rushed me to the hospital in Ottawa, where they diagnosed me with Dire Aids. Luckily, they also cured me, so everything was fine.
When I returned to the Prince (Butters, once again, staying outside), I handed him the Dire balls, which he took and examined before laughing.
"Yay! The Bishop's balls!" he cried happily, before adding, much to the Princess' surprise (the guards were suspiciously absent), "Now religion won't interfere with government!" He returned to his throne, asking me, "How can we repay you?"
I raised my eyebrow questioningly as the Princess piped up, "You said you would free the Minister of Montreal, my Lord."
The Prince glanced at his wife, a thoughtful look on his face, before turning back to me with a hasty, "Sorry, no can do."
What? I looked at him incredulously, as did the Princess.
"With both the Bishop and the Minister taken care of, my throne is secure." the Prince continued, shushing his wife as she begged him to reconsider. When he left, the Princess kneeled next to me, handing me an envelope.
"Quickly. You must speak with the Duke of Vancouver. He can help you get into the Catacombs of Quebec." she told me, returning to her throne, "Give the Duke this. Hurry now!" She then queefed, signaling that the conversation was over.
I just sighed internally, leaving the palace, Butters right behind me. As we headed to Vancouver, I told him the situation.
"What?!" he cried disbelievingly, "Why that no good fibber!" I just put a hand on his shoulder, calming him as we continued.
Entering Vancouver, we headed for the Duke's office, barely even acknowledging the Canadian citizens. The Duke was inside, talking on the phone. Two other Canadians stood at his side.
"Yes, yes, I know." the Duke was saying into the phone, "But Ottawa is on the other side of Canada! How are we supposed to get there?"
"Well, we walked." I thought as I approached the table, putting the Princess' letter in front of the Canadians to get their attention.
"A letter from the Princess?" the Duke asked me, somewhat irritated at being interrupted. His expression and tone changed, however, when he actually read the letter's contents.
"What the-why, according to this, the Prince had something to do with the Bishop's murder and has imprisoned the Minister unjustly!" the Duke exclaimed, briefly taking off his glasses in shock. I withheld a sigh of relief that the Princess didn't say anything about my involvement in the Bishop's "murder". The Canadians behind the Duke began muttering anxiously to one another.
The Duke, ignoring his associates, turned to me, a serious look on his face.
"Young man, if you wish to brave the Catacombs of Quebec, you have to speak with the monks who live in the southeast of town. Only they can train you in such sorcery." he told me, pointing toward the southeast section of Vancouver.
"Monks?" Butters asked when we got back outside. I nodded. I had a pretty good idea just who these "monks" were. This was Canada, after all. Getting to the island, Butters' jaw hit the floor. I was right.
"By golly…it's Terrance and Phillip…" Butters whispered in awe. I simply approached them, unfazed by their celebrity status.
"Who are you?" the black-haired Canadian in the red shirt, Terrance, asked me.
"Perhaps he is the American everyone is talking aboot, Terrance." the blond in the light blue shirt, Phillip, answered for me.
"They know who you are." Butters whispered to me, his eyes shining. Terrance just shook his head.
"Nah, can't be. He can't be a master of spellcraft." he said, making me raise an eyebrow, "He doesn't even know magic."
I narrowed my eyes, immediately sensing the challenge. I stood defiantly in front of the two Canadian stars, unleashing a powerful Dragonshout that knocked them both backward. Phillip laughed happily.
"He knows Dragonshout!" he exclaimed, impressed.
Terrance snorted, dismissing the technique like it was nothing. "Any magician's apprentice can Dragonshout. It's not like he farted into his hand and hit you in the face with it, Phillip." he said, glancing sideways at me. I smirked. Looks like they've got this "good cop, bad cop" thing going on. I used Cup-a-Spell on Terrance's face, since he was the one who challenged me. Both Canadians started laughing even harder.
"My god! He can Cup-a-Spell!" Terrance cried, looking at me seriously now. Phillip grinned at me.
"If he's really good, how come he can't sneak a fart behind your face?" he asked, winking at me. I nodded, using Sneaky Squeaker to make them both fall forward. They both looked at me in surprise.
"The Sneaky Squeaker!" Phillip laughed, clapping his hands, "Very impressive. He is worthy of our training after all." He looked at Terrance for confirmation.
"Yes." Terrance agreed, nodding approvingly, "Prepare thyself, child. It is time for you to learn some TRUE magic…"
Then, after telling Butters to stay back, they both farted on me, and I felt my vision fade as I heard Butters screaming my name. Then everything went black.