It was 5:00 pm in South Park, Colorado. The sun was already beginning to set behind the mountains, its orange glow covering the little mountain town, giving it a fiery look that contradicted its icy temperatures.
In that fiery glow, in front of an innocent-looking brown house, stood an army of children, ranging in age from four to twelve years, all of them wearing costumes. Some of them were dressed in clothing that resembled Lord of the Rings, while others were dressed as pirates and Vikings. Some were even dressed as characters from Star Trek. All of them stood together, ready for battle, staring in anticipation at the dark castle set in a tree that was four stories high. I, the Dragonborn, stood among them, near the front of the pack.
At the front of the group, leading the attack, were the Grand Wizard and the Elf King. As the Wizard stared angrily at the castle, the King turned to the gathered army.
"Tonight, we are not elves and humans!" he yelled, looking at the army, "Tonight…we fight as ONE!"
"Huzzah!" the army cheered.
"What we do here now…" the Wizard added, unwilling to let his rival get all of the attention, "…will be sung about on Youtube for days to come!'
"KRAAAH!" The army was getting pumped.
"Let us besiege the army of darkness with the courage of dragons!" the Wizard yelled, raising his staff, "Let us delve their dungeon with swords and sorcery!" The Elf King stood at the side, gripping his staff as he briefly brushed shoulders with the warrior who stood beside him.
"Let us charge our shields and use photon torpedoes to vaporize the Klingons!" a boy dressed in a Star Trek outfit suddenly blurted out beside me. Everyone turned to look at him, sweatdropping. The Grand Wizard pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Kevin…God dammit. Every. Fucking. Time, Kevin. God-fucking-dammit seriously." Kevin looked at the warriors around him, who were now all glaring, and looked down sadly. I patted his shoulder comfortingly, although my facial expression remained apathetic.
"ARMY OF JUSTICE!" the Grand Wizard bellowed, rallying the army, "PREPARE!"
At that command, everyone raised their weapons.
"READY!"
The tension was suffocating.
"AND!"
The paladin to my right gripped my hand, which I squeezed in return.
"LET'S BEAT UP CLYDE!"
The moment those words left Cartman's mouth, the entire army charged at the house, cramming themselves through the doorway as Clyde's father looked on in astonished confusion.
As our army entered Clyde's backyard, the warriors of the Dark Army charged out to meet us. The two groups collided, the clang of steel filling the darkening sky.
"We're coming for you, Clyde!" Cartman called to the Dark Lord, who stood at the top of the Dark Castle.
"Just try it, losers!" Clyde retorted, disappearing into the castle.
"Ow! I'm hit!" a female voice cried out. I looked to see Wendy kneeling on the ground. There was a bruise on her leg, but that didn't seem to be her main concern. "They tore my costume! I worked really hard on it!"
I refrained from rolling my eyes, signaling for Butters to heal Wendy while I used Nagasaki to break down the gate that blocked the moat.
"Commander Douchebag!" I heard Stan call, "You take the tower from the inside! Me and the pirates are gonna scale it from the outside!" I nodded as Stan and the army of pirates he was leading flanked the castle. I noticed Kyle's adopted Canadian brother, Ike, was leading the group alongside the warrior, forcing me to hide a knowing grin.
I headed into the castle. Noticing that my paladin companion was busy healing injured warriors, I headed in alone, knowing exactly who I was going to be facing.