His Greatest Wish
Christmas in Hogwarts Castle
When Severus woke the sun hadn't even come up. The memory still lived fresh in his mind, the nightmare as it were, one entirely unwelcome especially during Christmas. Her lifeless eyes, her motionless body, the immobilizing sensation of terror and grief when he learned she was dead. He used the power of Occlumency to drive the memory into a dark recess, and he threw off the covers to go downstairs. He saw that the foot of his bed was clear and it didn't surprise him; he'd never usually gotten presents from friends in his first lifetime and hadn't expected any.
He was just about to open the door when Lily burst through it, her hair messy and she looking like she'd pulled on her bathrobe too hastily for it to settle properly. "Oh, come on!" she whined, seizing his arm and half dragging him through the door and into the corridor. "Sturgis is already downstairs, I don't know what's taken you so bloody long—"
Sev dug his heels back and Lily swung around, caught off-guard. He hugged her. After a moment she relaxed and returned it. He could feel her smiling against him. "Thanks, Lil," he said softly.
"For what? I haven't even given you your present yet!"
Sev stared at her. "I'm just glad you're my friend, Lil, you didn't have to get me anything."
She looked as though she wanted to smack him. She recovered herself, saying, "Of course I didn't have to get you anything, Sev, I wanted to. That's what friends do. Since when have I not given you a Christmas or birthday gift?"
He didn't have an answer. Ever since they'd met she'd given him a present on both his birthday and Christmas. He always tried to be creative and find a less expensive way to show her just how much she meant to him, but she understood that money was a rare thing in the life of Severus Snape. He wished he could have access to the Prince Vault now, instead of after his mother died.
Lily resumed dragging him towards the stairs. She pulled him down the short flight and into the common room, where Sturgis sat amidst a pile of wrapping paper with a neatly stacked pile of opened presents beside him. He glanced up at them and smiled briefly before resuming his enthusiastic ripping. Sev fell into an overstuffed chair beside the tree that had appeared out of nowhere overnight ("House elves," Lily told him) and tried not to pinch himself when Lily dumped a pile of presents into his lap.
"Look, there's one from Remus, and Peter, and look! Alice sent you something too! And Frank!" She grinned widely as she handed him the last present under the tree. "And this one's from me."
Sev couldn't believe the assortment of presents on his lap, astonished they would even spend money on him... At that moment, it hit him how lucky he'd become, how lucky to have earned the second chance he'd dreamt of since that fateful day in fifth year. He started to carefully unwrap Lily's, but her hand on his stopped him.
"Open mine last," she said.
He only nodded, set it aside, and started unwrapping Remus's gift. It agitated Lily how slowly and precisely he peeled back the paper; he could tell from her tapping foot and crossed arms, and the occasional huff.
"You know, the fun is to actually rip the wrapping, not make like you want to save it for always and eternity," she finally burst.
Sturgis looked up and badly attempted to suppress a chuckle. Sev glanced in his direction and then back at Lily. "Have I ever ripped the paper like you?" he inquired, and Lily shook her head in defeat.
Remus had given Sev a set of quills and different colored ink from Scrivenshaft's, Peter had managed to send him a box of Cauldron Cakes and Chocolate Frogs without eating any first, Frank gifted a book entitled The Dark Arts Outsmarted (which made Sev think whether it would have been useful his first go-around), and Alice's package contained a wand-care kit.
"Now can I open yours?" Sev asked humorously.
Lily grinned and sat next to him on the arm of the chair.
He carefully peeled back the wrapping, and about a minute later unsheathed a pretty wooden box. He unlatched it and opened the top, peering inside. "It's a set of rare potions ingredients from the apothecary," Lily provided with pride in her voice. "The clerk told me it will refill itself three times before you need to buy a new set for the inside of the box."
Sev lifted his eyes to Lily and gave her the widest smile he could muster. "It's perfect," he said with conviction. "Oh! I've left your present in my room," he said, sprang up, and ran to the first years' boys' dormitory. He threw open his trunk and immediately spotted his gift for her, seized it, and returned to the common room. He held it out for her.
She, unlike him, tore through the wrapping faster than Sev thought imaginable, revealing Newt Scamander's Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, a three-hundred-plus page compendium of Ministry-identified creatures as well as the non-Ministry recognized (in a special section containing beasts only the Lovegood family would actually try to find). Sev hadn't remembered seeing it on his book list until his third year, and besides, this was the largest edition he could find. "Wow!" she exclaimed. "This is wonderful, Sev! Thank you so much!" She completely forgot about Sturgis, hugged Sev, and planted a kiss right on his cheek.
"I found it in the attic," he stammered, "With a bunch of Mum's old books that she's not touched in ages... It's barely gotten use anyhow." Sev tried not to blush, oh how he tried, but he did, and Sturgis Podmore began to laugh.
"You two are sort of revolting," he said, his words punctuated by laughter. "Eleven year olds and you're acting worse than some of the blokes in my year."
"How do you mean?" Sev asked stiffly, not really wanting to know the answer. Lily's face had turned red and she had her nose stuck deep in her new book, not even reading it.
"I mean you act like you're dating or something."
If Lily could've gone redder, she did. But she managed to muster her Gryffindor courage and reappear from behind her book. "Sev happens to be my best friend, Mr. Podmore, so in case you haven't got one, that's what best friends do."
Sev could tell Sturgis was losing patience, although only minimally. "Except most broads have broads as best friends, not blokes. It's the same the other way around. I'm only saying that it seems rather unusual for a broad to be best friends with a bloke and not be dating him. Then again, you are only first years..."
He found it amusing how quickly Lily's temper could flare. He would later swear he saw Sturgis Podmore's life expectancy diminish by a few years, just from being subject to an irate Lily Evans. "No one asked for your opinion, Podmore," Lily bit out. "But I suppose you think it's all right, because you're older and supposedly smarter than us."
Sturgis started to redden.
"Lily," Sev cut in, "I think you've made your point."
She deflated a bit but from that moment on ignored the fourth year.
"C'mon, I want to try out those two-way mirrors we got at dinner last night," Sev said, gathering his presents into his arms and carefully starting towards the staircase.
"Right," Lily replied, "I'll go get dressed." She disappeared up the stairs laden with her own gifts.
Sev could hear Sturgis grumbling. What a way to start Christmas Day, he thought, lifting the mirrors from his trunk. As an afterthought he strapped the wand holster to his forearm and slid his wand in, satisfied with its usefulness. He met Lily just outside the portrait hole a few minutes later, and handed her a mirror. "Let's go to our place," he said, indicating the corridor to the Room of Requirement. "I can go inside and see if this thing works properly with you in the hall. You never know the quality of those Wizard Cracker prizes..." I should test my Animagus form as well...
Lily consented and watched as the door appeared, and Sev entered. To her surprise, the door immediately disappeared! "Sev? Sev!" she called out, and suddenly she heard his voice issuing from the mirror in her hand.
"What?" She could see his pale face, his dark hair, his deep eyes, as clearly as if he stood before her, but she could also see the outline of the bookshelves behind him.
"The door disappeared!"
"Yeah, it's supposed to," he replied. "Truly private place, right? If the door stayed there, anybody could get in."
"Oh."
"Well, obviously these work," he continued. "I'll be right out." His face slid out of view and Lily instantly saw her own reflection gazing back up at her.
Inside the Room of Requirement, Sev concentrated his thoughts and suddenly turned into a black owl, his Animagus form. Satisfied, he changed back and rejoined Lily. "We should go down to breakfast," he said as they left the corridor. "Won't your mum and dad be sending you something?" He never knew Lily to not receive something from parents on Christmas (or any other holiday, for that matter), and assumed today would be no different despite distance.
"I suppose they shall, since I sent my gifts back via owl a few days ago."
Sev stowed the mirrors in his pocket and they walked right past the statue of Lachlan the Lanky to descend the seventh floor staircase.
Three owls swooped down just as Lily lifted a sausage with her fork. The first was the return owl from her parents, carrying a rather large package and aletter, the second knocked Dumbledore's vulture hat off his head in a badly planned attempt to land, and the third descended shrieking to deposit something with one of the Ravenclaws.
"Here," she said, "Mum and Dad sent you something as well." She tore open the box and lifted out one of the two boxes inside that was addressed to Sev. "Come on, take it! My arms can't hold it up for you all day."
He shook the surprise away and relieved her of the box. "Why did your parents send me a Christmas gift?" he asked softly. It had never happened before. They'd always looked at him with caution, disdain, even disrespect sometimes.
Lily's cheeks tinged pink a little. "I might've mentioned you in my letters. That we're in the same house and you're best in everything and that I'm..." she said something at the end so quietly Sev actually didn't hear it.
"Sorry, I didn't catch that," he said honestly, leaning towards her a bit.
"I told them I'm proud of you," she said louder than she'd intended. The Ravenclaw looked over at them and shook his head. She lowered her voice. "You're my best friend, Sev, and they've always seen you as the boy from Spinner's End, the boy who was likely to end up like..." she sounded like she didn't want to say it, "like his father." She rightly saw him start to puff. "But I set them straight, Sev! They know you're nothing like that, nothing like that at all! I've convinced them you're a good influence on me and that I'm a good influence on you."
She could visibly see him deflate.
"They feel sorry for you. What you had to grow up with. Why else would they agree to let you stay with us for the summer? It was my idea, you know, and I only asked them after I set them straight about you. I want them to know you like I do."
The old Severus Snape would have acidly responded that he did not need pity, did not accept pity...but from the Evans family he found himself grateful, appreciative...happy they had begun to accept him for himself and not continue to judge him by the location of his father's house. This time, he kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Lily. Your mum and dad are really wonderful people." He smiled at her and discovered Muggle sweets and pastries stuffed into his box.
Silence surrounded them until they were almost done with breakfast, and then the sound of another owl echoed across the ceiling. It flew straight for Sev and deposited a letter on his plate without even landing. He watched it go and turned the letter over, instantly recognizing his mother's penmanship. He hastily ripped it open.
My Dear Severus,
I wish to apologize for not replying to your owl on the second of September. Merlin knows Tobias would have a heart attack if he even saw me in contact with the Wizarding world, but after reading your letter I resolved to put myself in better touch with you. It has taken me this long to wait for a safe time to send you an owl. He's "bar hopping," as he says.
You expected me to be angry about your Sorting into Gryffindor. Severus, this may surprise you, but I am relieved you escaped the chains associated with Slytherin House. No one in the Prince line has ever been Sorted into Gryffindor, but not everyone has been Sorted into Slytherin, either. There were several Ravenclaws in your grandfather's family and a Hufflepuff every now and then. But to a few of us Princes, we saw Gryffindor as the gated House, the House that required no ties to the Dark Arts. The mere fact that you are a half-blood Prince should have immediately disqualified you from Gryffindor. But it didn't, and so I am relieved you are at least a little safer in what is coming.
You have courage, my son. I...I do not.
I am not angry, Severus. I am proud.
Love Mum
Sev read the letter twice through and then twice again, still not quite sure if this was his mother trying to be funny, if the handwriting was maybe forged...but he detected nothing. Wordlessly he passed it to Lily for her to read. Her eyes grew wide and she gaped at him.
"All along...I expected her to be put out," Sev finally said, having found his voice. Eileen Prince Snape, proud that her son was a Gryffindor. Unthinkable. "I thought the only way she'd be proud was if I had been Sorted as a Slytherin."
Lily, however, always saw the bright side. "But this is good, isn't it? Maybe you'll be her inspiration to stand up to your father!"
"I have a hard time believing that, Lily," he said, and she knew the conversation had ended. He stood up. He pushed the unusual letter from his mother to the side of his thoughts, never letting it slip from immediate view. But he refused to linger on it, especially on Christmas Day.
They spend the remainder of the day breaking in Sev's glass chess set (with apparent "beginner's luck," she managed to capture his queen, both knights and both rooks before he won checkmate with a limping bishop), they pelted each other with snowballs out on the grounds (Sev had an unfair advantage and enchanted them to fly at her), they nicked food from the kitchens (Butterbeer, too), and visited with Hagrid (feeding Fang the treacle fudge and trying not to laugh when the boarhound's jaw became cemented shut). Before they realized it, Dumbledore expected them in the Great Hall for dinner and, what Lily was looking forward to, Wizard Crackers.
Unfortunately, Dumbledore chose to sit right next to Severus, and carefully he constructed an ornate mental block that would reveal nothing should the Headmaster pry.
"You may find it surprising that nine students is not the fewest number to remain at Hogwarts over Christmas holidays," Dumbledore said cheerily. "One year Headmaster Phineas Nigellus had only one student remain, and it came as no surprise that the student was a Slytherin."
"Fascinating, sir," Sev said dryly. "Might I ask what the largest number was?"
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled but Sev wouldn't meet his gaze, and instead peered directly down at his plate. "Well, despite its structural size, Hogwarts is a relatively small school by both Wizarding and Muggle standards, especially for being the main educational institute for the United Kingdom. One year, only three students returned home—to the three hundred and twenty seven students that remained! If memory serves, this took place during the Witch Hunts, so widely popularized by Muggles."
Always offering information no one asked for and ignoring you when you really need his answer, Sev mused as he stabbed a carrot.
"My boy," Dumbledore prodded lowly, "I am curious. Might you satisfy an old man's interest when I ask on whose side you stand?"
Frankly Sev hadn't expected Albus Dumbledore to be this fast or this public when inquiring about loyalties, or that Dumbledore would even ask a child as young as eleven to declare allegiance in a war that could very well spell destruction for too many Wizards than Sev cared to think about. Thankfully the old man's tone was quiet and only Lily heard besides the old Potions Master. "Sir?" Sev asked, forcing himself to finally look into the Headmaster's eyes. He wasn't sure of his own expression.
"I have taken an interest in your extraordinary abilities, young Severus... Professor Hardgrave tells me you have the potential to cast a fully-fledged Patronus Charm perhaps without practice! Professor Slughorn has never seen such talent in any of his students, especially first years, such innate knowledge of the inner workings of potions, and Professor McGonagall has observed that all your first tries are successful in her subject. I have indeed taken interest...and I do not believe myself mistaken in thinking Mr. Riddle will as well."
Sev's insides ran cold. "What makes you think that, sir?" he asked quietly, well aware of both the answer and the mental intrusion of Dumbledore's.
"You are talented. Riddle requires talent—brains, as it were, as well as brawn. You understand, then, just who I mean?"
"You-Know-Who, sir." Sev looked over at Lily, whose eyes resembled the size of the plates they were eating from.
"I must admit I am quite impressed you know that Riddle and Voldemort are the same man, Mr. Snape. If I did not know better, I would think you have rare knowledge...but how can you? Your mother has not practiced magic for many years, let alone remained in contact with her relatives...I cannot comprehend just how you have acquired such insight, and only eleven..."
Mutually indignant and amused, Sev thought about weaving some intricate lie for the inquisitive old man, but vetoed the idea. What better way to make him suspicious if he ever does find out about my Occlumency or Legilimency powers? "Lucky guess, sir?"
Dumbledore grinned widely, having apparently shrugged off his curiosity for the moment. "You have cheek, my boy," the old man chuckled, reaching forward for a Wizard Cracker. He handed it to Sev. "I have it on good authority what's in that particular one," he said. "The notion niggles my ancient brain that you might take a liking to it."
Warily Sev pulled it open and a large, leather bound volume tumbled into his lap. He read the cover quickly, not realizing at first it was written in Ancient Rune. He was about to say the title but caught himself, not wanting to offer Dumbledore any more reasons to be suspicious. "Is it...Runic, sir?" he asked, trying to sound unsure.
Dumbledore beamed. "Written entirely in Ancient Rune, which I hope you pursue one day! An extraordinarily useful tool in any witch or wizard's arsenal, Runes are often the keys to long-lost magic."
Sev actually tuned out the Headmaster's prattle, still managing to nod in all the right places and make noncommittal noises when appropriate. But he reached his hand down between himself and Lily to grasp her hand, indicating he had become tired of talk and wished to leave the Great Hall. Lily responded with a squeeze of her own and managed to gather up her Wizard Cracker prizes before dismounting the bench. She nudged the small of Sev's back with her knee.
"Coming, Sev?" she inquired innocently.
"Er, excuse me, Professor," he interrupted Dumbledore, "Lily and I are going to return to Gryffindor Tower, if you don't mind." He clutched the book to his chest and stuffed the rest of his prizes into his pocket before hastily following Lily away from Albus Dumbledore.
Take care, he thought to himself. His interest means so much more than what's on the surface. Recruitment. War. Bloodshed. If he ever finds out...he'll either put me on the front lines or lock me away so he can divest all the secrets for himself...just so he can destroy Voldemort... Merlin...the dangers of Albus Dumbledore.