His Greatest Wish, by AndromedaMarine
Death Eaters
They celebrated the arrival of 1972 with enormous Catharine Wheels, dragon fireworks, and precursors to the legendary Weasley Escape of Harry's fifth year. Dumbledore performed some impressive magic (although for him, perhaps not so impressive) involving flashing rainbow colors and clouds overhead that reshaped to form '1972.' Severus could see the enormous celebratory cloud formation from his bedroom window, and wondered, quite honestly, how Dumbledore would celebrate the year 2000. That is, if he lived that long this time.
Ever since Dumbledore's little inquiry concerning loyalties, Sev couldn't entirely shake it from his mind. It wasn't that he hadn't tried...but he kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. He became tense without even realizing it, and when Lily touched the inside of his left forearm the Sunday morning before spring term, he jumped about a mile. He could've sworn he felt the sting of the Dark Mark, even though it'd been erased completely for the four months since his miraculous travel backwards through time.
"You're jittery," she stated, worry evident in her voice and eyes. "It's not like you."
He fidgeted with his wand holster, sliding his wand into his hand and back up his right arm. Lily didn't take her hand from his left forearm. "I keep expecting something to happen," he confided. "Ever since Dumbledore asked me that stupid question..."
"It wasn't stupid, really. It just wasn't well-timed."
When did you get so wise? "Does he expect everyone to have a firm grasp of their loyalties before they've turned twelve?" he asked rhetorically. Lily missed the inflection of his voice.
She tipped her head so she was staring at the flooring in front of their feet. "He expects us to know right from wrong, I suppose. Good from evil."
"Then why hasn't he posed his question for Malfoy, or Mulciber, or...or..." The name Bartemius Crouch, Jr. entered his mind...but the boy hadn't even started at Hogwarts yet. Never mind that Crouch Jr. was only nine at the moment – he hadn't even been Sorted into Slytherin. The blonde participator in the torture of Frank and Alice Longbottom had been a Ravenclaw. Obviously not a House one would associate with driving a couple of Aurors into madness...but then again, Pettigrew was in Gryffindor. "Or Rosier!" Three of the most deeply entrenched and devoted Death Eaters currently at Hogwarts, although one was a seventh year and two only first years.
"Sev," Lily said quietly, "Malfoy I can understand...but Mulciber and Rosier are in our year. Our age. If Dumbledore asked them it would be no different than him asking you! Which he did!" She was now gripping his forearm, her nails starting to dig into his flesh. Thankfully Sturgis Podmore was otherwise occupied building snowmen on the grounds. She saw his eyes begin to flit from the fireplace, to her eyes, to the staircases, to the portrait hole...
"Why do you always see the good in people?" he asked her suddenly. "Why not the bad?"
She was taken aback, and pensive look settled onto her features. She was silent for some time, thinking. When she spoke he saw her eyes glisten, and his heart wrenched. "I didn't grow up in a place where bad things happened every day. It's second nature for me to see the good in people, Sev. When we first met, you were pretty prickly. But you've mellowed...a—a lot sooner than I expected." Then she did something she had never done before, not even in her first life. She reached out and touched him, sliding her fingers gently over the bump of his nose. He shivered. Her simple act, so intimate, suddenly shifted their relationship. "I'm naïve," she whispered shakily. "You're right. Anyone could tell that Mulciber and Rosier...even Avery...have questionable loyalties at best."
"It's no secret either that Malfoy wants to join him," Sev said darkly, the exhilaration from her touch disappearing faster than it'd arrived.
"It's not a secret, but it's not a fact," she argued. "Has he come up to you recently and said, 'Oh, hello you random Gryffindor, I plan on taking the Dark Mark once I skip this joint!'?"
It broke the tension and Sev laughed. "No," he said with a smile, "no he hasn't. But that doesn't take away the feeling that something bad is about to happen." And trust me. I got that feeling every single time I stood in Voldemort's presence. With good reason.
Lily huffed, but Sev got the feeling it was a huff of assent. "Unfortunately I can't argue anymore. I feel it too. The tight, uneasy feeling right here," she said, laying a hand across her stomach. "It's like I want to throw up, but I won't. And I know I won't. It's...confusing. I've never felt anything like it before."
A few of Dumbledore's profound words to Harry echoed in his mind. Magic, especially Dark Magic...leaves traces... So much has changed, Sev contemplated. Perhaps too much to predict anything. My knowledge may end up being largely useless. Sudden fear gripped at his heart. What if Lily died anyway? What if he couldn't protect her? When their eyes met a fierce transmission of emotion passed between them. He realized then she had gained the maturity of a woman twice her age. "Promise me," he managed to breathe, "promise me you'll always have your wand with you? That if anything ever happens...to your parents, your sister—your cat—that you find me?"
She nodded without hesitation. Even though he'd expected her to, it made relief flood his veins. "Of course, but only if you promise me the same." He stared at her for a moment and for the briefest of heartbeats he actually felt her worry. "I know you're staying with me over summer but your mother will expect you to visit, won't she? I don't like to say it but if things get as bad as you believe and just as fast, then anything could happen at any time."
He cut her off. "If I was an inch from death I'd try to find you," he stated bluntly. "And you know, my mother might not even consent to let me stay with you over summer. Merlin knows my father would probably...well he wouldn't take kindly to the idea of me spending the whole of summer in closed quarters with a girl."
Her suggestion shocked him: "Then don't. Tell him, that is," she added hastily when she saw him start to frown in protest. "Convince him you're staying with Remus or Frank or Sirius – even Potter, as long as he doesn't know it's me and doesn't see us all summer."
"And how in Merlin's name would we manage that?"
Lily beamed, glad to be on a safer topic. "Mum and Dad have been entertaining the idea of a summer holiday away from Nurren."
Sev felt uneasy. "Where to?"
"That's just it," she said. "They haven't decided yet, if we're going to do it at all, but I gave them the idea of traveling to America."
Sev had never been to America. One thing immediately came to mind. "The American Ministry of Magic is in Washington, D.C.," he stated, feeling dumb when it came out bookishly.
"Maybe we could go there! Learn about the difference in their government and ours...Muggle and Magical!" Lily continued to list the advantages of an American summer holiday and Sev's mind drifted in the same manner it had drifted while in Dumbledore's ostentatious company.
"My mother would be very disappointed if I left and lied to her about where I've gone," he interrupted quietly when Lily began gushing about water parks.
Lily fell silent. "We don't have to spend time near Spinner's End," she amended. America was only an idea, after all. Sev had just learned of his mother's pride in him...and he didn't want to ruin that. "We could explore the east side of Nurren, do day trips, or maybe you could just tell your mum and keep your father out of the loop...it's not for another six months. And...we both know a lot could change in that time."
He hoped she didn't mean the solidity of their friendship.
"He's gathering power...followers of his twisted logic," Lily continued somberly, a note of fright in her tone. She didn't live in a box. She read the Daily Prophet and listened to conversations around her. Having half their classes with the Slytherins certainly offered a chance to ask why some were skittish or spoke in hushed tones towards the backs of the classrooms. "We don't know how deep it goes, Sev! It's not just Malfoy, it's the Black sisters, the Lestranges... For all we know they could have taken the Mark, Sev!" Her cheeks flushed. "They could be Death Eaters already! Here at Hogwarts!"
At that exact moment James Potter and Sirius Black chose to barge through the portrait hole, leading a slew of newly-returned Gryffindor students.
"Miss us?" he half yelled. "Siri and I had a splendid time meeting the Minist—" he stopped when he saw the expression on Lily's face. "What—is everyth—" he choked on something, probably his tongue, Sirius karate-chopped his back, and he recovered, red in the face. "You all right, Evans?"
Sev felt marginally pleased when neither James nor Sirius shot him a look of accusation.
"Yes, Potter," Lily snapped, clearly annoyed and upset that the return of students had interrupted her and Sev's deep conversation. She stood up and led Sev through the crowd, into the corridors, until they reached the Room of Requirement and went inside.
James had watched their departure with curiosity, wondering why Lily's eyes were a little red and wondering what they'd been discussing that made Lily so upset. He shrugged and continued to bump shoulders with Sirius as they went around wishing everyone a happy new year, thinking that if Lily didn't want to tell him, it wasn't his problem.
"Doesn't it worry you?" she asked quickly as she paced the room, and then held up her hand. "Wait, don't answer that. Of course you worry, I mean it's obvious at least to me..."
Sev watched her ramble, simultaneously fascinated and searching for the perfect moment to interrupt.
"—you were right to be wary of Dumbledore, Sev, I don't know why I even doubted you..." She sighed, slumping backwards onto the table. "We have six and a half years to officially decide what to do, right?" she asked.
Decide what to do about what? Voldemort? The Death Eaters? Our lives? "Officially? Lily, I don't think there is an 'officially' when it comes down to it. Generally wars don't pay heed to official versus unofficial. I guess..." he swallowed, "we'll decide what to do when we have to. See? We don't have to decide on anything now, and even if we did, there's a good—even certain—chance it wouldn't even progress the way we want it to."
Lily's eyes unfocused as she looked through him. "It just seems like I'd feel safer if we had some sort of plan. I hate the idea of Death Eaters being here, especially if we could tell someone or even do something about it."
Severus almost laughed. "We're eleven, Lily. And even though we'll be twelve by the end of the month that's still far too young to really put up a fight against Death Eaters." Never mind that Harry went up against Voldemort and a Basilisk all before his thirteenth birthday.
"You're a powerful wizard," she expounded, her temper flaring. "You could duel Hardgrave or maybe even McGonagall right now and come out alive. Stop underestimating yourself!"
Irritated, Sev absently fingered his wand, but Lily didn't notice. "What do you want me to do?" he asked, knowing the danger of his question. She could ask for anything. Even an Unforgivable curse, but he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt Lily Evans would never ask him to perform an illegal spell.
"A Patronus," she said instantly, having thought back to Dumbledore's little ramble during the Christmas dinner. "I don't know what it is, but Dumbledore spoke about it like it's a complex bit of magic—and that he thinks you could do one without practice. I want you to try to do a fully-fledged one, if you know how." Her tone wasn't at all sarcastic.
He knew it would come down to him casting something powerful. "All right," he found himself agreeing, although his brain hadn't had a part in the decision to speak. Without waiting for an obvious introduction, he let the memory of Lily gently touching his nose several minutes ago fill his being, and yelled, "Expecto Patronum!"
The silver doe leapt from his wand's tip, pranced around the room gracefully as Lily stared after it in wonderment.
"What does it do?" she asked in a small voice, reaching out a hand to see if she could touch the doe. Her hand waved through the silvery mist.
"Mainly they protect against Dementors. But they're used to send messages as well, quickly over great distances. Far more efficient than an owl if an emergency arises and you can't Floo or Apparate out." He found himself automatically describing it, although he knew far more than a first year should. But Lily drank it all in.
Next she'll be asking if—"Could you teach me how to do that?" she inquired, still entranced by the doe.
"I can try, I suppose."
Then the inevitable: "Where did you learn to do it?"
In reality their fifth year DADA professor taught it to all of them, but Sev decided to lie. Again. "I taught myself, from a book," he said. At least the book in question existed on the shelves of Madam Pince's kingdom. "It only took a couple tries, and I learned when you and Alice were spending some time with Hagrid in November."
"See?" she chided, "Powerful wizard. You're so good with magic, Sev...you could teach us all so much!"
He lurched forward. "Who do you mean, 'us all'?"
Lily whacked his arm. "Our friends. Me, Remus, Frank, Peter, and Alice! If we all learn what you know, we could probably out-perform Hardgrave by fifth or sixth year!"
Well, that wouldn't be a difficult feat, considering Hardgrave is on schedule to die by the end of the summer. Voldemort's cursed DADA post and all. "Do you want to try the Patronus?" he asked quietly, and Lily nodded. "Okay, uh," he showed her the wand movement and told her the incantation. "The most important thing is to focus on a really happy memory. Something powerful. Let it fill you up completely, and then say the spell." He stood behind her and watched her little eleven-year old self concentrate, but when she yelled the spell the only thing that appeared was a teeny silver light at the tip of her wand.
"Well, that was disappointing," she said, obvious she had expected more to happen the first time.
"At least something happened," he said, indicating the silver light. "What did you think about?" he asked curiously.
"My parents and my excitement when McGonagall came to tell us about Hogwarts.
Sev bit back a snort. "That's not nearly good enough! It has to be something that fills you with indescribable joy when you think of it."
She tipped her head to one side as she looked at him. "What did you think of, that made you so happy?" she asked honestly.
His cheeks flushed. This time he couldn't lie. "I—I thought of you," he murmured, averting his gaze. He knew she was blushing furiously, attempting to wrap her head around his little admission. He felt her touch his shoulder.
Lily smiled up at him (as for the moment he was about two inches taller). "Then perhaps if I think of you, my spell will be better."
He hadn't expected this particular reaction, but welcomed it nonetheless. Teaching Lily Evans the Patronus actually relaxed Sev, and dinner had come and gone by the time Lily managed to produce a corporeal Patronus—even though it lasted for about half a second, Sev could tell it too was a doe. He smiled, joining in Lily's excitement.
By now everyone knew they had been disappeared since the Hogwarts Express arrived, so when they quietly entered the common room what few students remained there looked up and watched the two first years. Both Lily and Sev appeared tired; after all, learning the Patronus was no easy feat. Usually an object was needed to practice against, like a Boggart in lieu of an actual Dementor, but the sheer power that Sev knew Lily possessed made up for it. She had always been a powerful witch.
As Sev bade Lily good night, the ill feeling returned, and he innately knew that Lily had felt its return as well. Something was set to happen, he knew it...
By the end of the week...they knew why. It was Alice who ran up to them in the middle of the corridor on the way to lunch, her eyes wide with fright as screams began to echo around behind her. "It's the caretaker, Ward Arcturo," she said shakily. "He's dead."